I will give a thousand dollars to the person with the most pathetic life here.
Here are the rules:
>greentext stories only
>you may be asked to prove elements of your story if possible
>only one person wins
if you want a story about pathetic people just ask
don't lie
>>25004728
>totally not just something I found online and cropped in MS Paint. I totally do have all this money guys. trust me, I'm a dolphin
>I post on /r9k/
there, I won
>im really sad, ugly and literally autistic
its all true and pretty pathetic, can i have the grand now
You're a fucking faggot OP.
>>25004728
>be me
do i win
i am an asian livig in third world country you fJuck hive me your moeh now
>>25004728
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. My only friend is "special needs." The only girl who gave me the time of day to talk to her has kept me in the friend zone for years, and I've come to terms with the fact there's no way out. Not even my next door neighbor can stand me. I'm not mentally fit to even drive, and for the same reason, I'm not qualified for any real kind of job or skill other than flipping burgers.
I need to buy a Christmas present for my wife's son.
I'm a 25 year old bedwetter who is attracted to young girls (~5-11) and adult men. I have a diaper fetish (no scat though), a panty fetish (I can literally fap to loli panties by themselves), and have a thing for black cocks. I also likebug chasing porn.I live with my grandparents at the same retail job I worked when I was 18 and I am so avoidant that I make an effort to not be seen even by my family. I don't know how to make friends and my only relationships of any kind have all been online. I have undiagnosed mental illness (I previously was diagnosed with bipolar however) and had a terrible childhood which still bothers me. I don't see myself ever doing more than living in an apartment with a computer, internet connection and bed.
I have been completely honest in this post. I also realize OP isn't actually giving money away. I just like being humiliated for being so pathetic and worthless. At least people laughing at me gives me a little bit of value...
>>25005289
>and have a thing for black cocks
>>/gif/
take your kekold fetishes someplace else, like your containment board
>>25004728
How are you going to pay the money?
>>25004894
SpongeBob at first then your actual life after? Or just a coincidence?
>>25004728
>be me ugly
>r8d 2/10 on cam and meet up
>dads an abusive ass hole who beats me and drink too much he also looks at every 12/14 yr old walking down the road
>mum died in a fire
>no grandparents
>use to go to college and now i have to work a 50 hour week working 2 jobs to support my father and pay for the rent on this shitty apartment
>19 yr beta loser virgin with no mum and an abusive father
>inb4 why dont you just call the police
>hes a cunt but the only family i have left
>posting on r9k at 4 am as i start work at 5 am
>abused by step father
>step father leaves druggie mum
>mum goes into hospital
>bullied all my childhood/teen years
>get into mass depression
>drop out
>constant therapy, no friends
>Pretend to be a girl for 2 years
>Got an online boyfriend
>Send pictures of my sister to him
>We fap together to my sister
>He finds her twitter
>Says he still loves me
>Recently starts saying he doesnt want a relationship anymore
>tried to kill myself today over it
>still fap to the thought of him fucking my sister and occasionally letting me join in
>>25005413
Why not give the money to someone who has potential and not one of us.
I'd like the money but I'm not pathetic enough to warrant it based on the grounds of this thread. :(
$1000 isn't going to save a lost cause but it would help me extremely.
>>25004894
>I'm not mentally fit to even drive
im fucking dying
fuck off spongebob
>>25005413
That's really fucking pathetic. Godspeed anon. We'll make it.
>>25004728
We're going to need more proof than that shitty pic buddy.
![3bb3c548d2[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/IBZAhKH.png "3bb3c548d2[1].png")
>>25004728
I'm getting there, OP.
Also, how long did it take you to save that up and how did you do it?
>inb4 inheritance
>be me
>study shit degree at shit uni
>try to make extra money online by selling vidya game codes
>get scammed
>owe 700 to paypal
>poorfag and no money
>debt collectors
plz rich fag give money
>>25004728
>born innawoods
>everyone hates me
>life was starting to go good
>go bald at 20
>molested and brutally assaulted by brother at young age
>parents like brother better
>they hate and neglect me
>have PTSD
>chronic fatigue and sickness all day every day
>addicted to drugs I'm too poor to afford
>I have like 2 friends and we just sit around sighing all day
>>25004728
I'm a female and I failed life on easy mode. I'm 29, I live with my parents. My dad's a 60 year old log truck driver and my mother can't work because she has dementia and osteoporosis. She's had osteoporosis since she turned 40, because she had a hysterectomy at 29 (my current age) and didn't take HRT because she thought it would give her 'the cancers'. As a result of no estrogen in her body, she's also developed dementia which is linked to early hysterectomy patients who do not receive HRT.
My sister is the epitome of Stacey. She's married, has a career, has a new car, has a house and is pregnant. I will probably have to have a hysterectomy in a year or so because I too, like my mother have endometriosis.
I tried to kill myself in October, but mixing prescription medication to die from serotonin syndrome, but I vomited them all up and felt like I was dying for 3 days rather than actually dying. I can't drive, I have no friends and I give all of my welfare benefits to my parents so I have no money to buy anything else with at the moment.
>>25005512
Also I'm fat, failed university, I'm a kissless handholdless virgin, and I still have acne. Someone put this dog down.
>>25005512
if you want to kill yourself just buy a big bottle of generic diphenhydramine and take at least 4-5~ grams (40-50 pills if you get the 100 mg kind). Seratonin syndrome is mostly a meme and in terms of over the counter overdoses, DPH is your best bet,
God speed on kill yourself robot!
>dad is very neglectful of me and my family
>spends all his time at bars
>cheats on my mom with bartenders that he thinks love him for anything but his money
>mom has a serious mental illness
>she tries to feed me glass in my food to try to hurt me
>she stabs at my door with a knife a few times, Shining-style, because she wanted to kill me
>never have any food because my parents spend all our money on booze
>have no friends at school because I'm completely alienated from everyone
>schoolmates would shove their hands into my ass through my pants because they thought it was funny
>have to steal from the cafeteria to survive
>made it into Columbia University but my dad never sent the financial aid forms in, so I couldn't go
>going to a school with a 75% acceptance rate now
>developing the same mental illness as my mom (bipolar disorder), plus schizophrenia
>had to be hospitalized a few months ago because of my severe hallucinations and mania (I was running around talking to stray dogs and thought that I could communicate with them through telekinesis)
>mind is becoming complete trash, sit in my room all day watching my hallucinations and thinking crazy shit
>the meds make me feel like a zombie and I can't get out of bed
>failing all my classes despite getting mostly A's and B's just a year ago
I'll tell you guys the most intimate experience I've had with a girl too, if you want.
>>25005567
Thanks for the advice. I've looked into that before, but I live in Australia and you can only buy 5 tablets of 120mg of the stuff here. And the packets cost $7 for 5 tablets... I need a cheaper alternative.
>>25005579
share it anon im genuinely curious
>>25005504
Just going to rant more
>parents are poor as shit
>my friends parents had 1 job between them cleaning toilets and they have way more than me
>parents drink all day and night
>nightmares and night terrors every night
>no way out of my situation besides money I'll never have
>on my gruadation my parents gave me $10 and took away my check from the school for like 300 dollars
>all my friends are carefree and I can't talk about my problems because they can't get it
>I got a DUI and live on the Canadian norsrr and can't even go over there
>I have no PC or Xbox just a tablet
>>25005411
i am confused..what do you mean why dont you just call the police? im not familiar with UK laws but im gonna assume becaues youre saying things like "mum" and "cunt" you're british. here in the US once you are 18 you're an adult and your parents dont have to provide for you and you cant call the cops on them if they dont provide for you, only if you are under 18 can you do that.
oh wait i just saw the abusive part...what does he do that owuld warrant calling the police? can you get /fit/ and stand your ground so he leaves you alone? typical in some father/son relationship, especially if his dad was abusive towards him, for the father to try to toughen up the son until the son can stand his own ground, so he feels youre better prepared for the real world. whack logic i know but its what some parents believe just because of the way they were raised and think they "turned out fine so ill do it to my kid"
i'll get a tattoo of your choice if u send me money. open invitation
>>25004728
25 year old morbidly obese virgin. I am 400+ lbs, and I say "+" because I can't find a scale that reaches that high, and my last known weight was 400 lbs, and that was 3 years ago. I have never had a job in my life, and this year for the first time ever I got offered a job but I couldn't take it because the job requires you to be on your feet all day, and I can only stand for 1 hour at a time max before my back and my legs give out. As a result of my permanent unemployment I've been in some extremely poor living conditions.
ived in a house with a roach infestation numbering in the thousands
>cockroaches were literally everywhere
>in that same house our electricity got cut off for 3 months
>i had only 1 pair of pants and 2 shirts during this time, and the pants were stained with piss and shit because i hadn't washed my clothes for months due to not having any money to go to the laundry and not having money to buy new clothes
>early on during the 3 months with no electricity my pants ripped right down the left leg
>i spent those 3 months pretty much locked in my room naked, staring at the walls and fantasizing about what life would have been like for me if i had not let my weight get out of control
>i started letting trash and leftover food pile up in the room
>my room had a permanent smell of shit, rotting food and cockroaches
>the hoarding of trash attracted more roaches from other parts of the house into my room
>there were roaches crawling up the walls
>there were roaches inside my useless tv
>there were roaches crawling on me at night
it got so bad that i had to change my sleeping schedule so that i would be asleep during the day when the roaches were least active. at night the roaches would crawl on the bed and then crawl all over me
(cont)
>>25005621
>>25005579
me too, i'm here to listen brobot. hope some miracle happens and you, as well as other robots, make some changes in life, or get lucky and have something change your life.
>>25004728
Fake thread, no proof.
Don't post, pussies.
>>25005667
(cont'd)
>got fed up of all the trash in my room finally
>in the middle of cleaning the room, i notice all these little things that looked like burnt rice all over my room's carpet
>got the sick feeling it wasn't rice from leftover food
>i was right and they were roach eggs
>they were everywhere
>spend the entire morning picking out roach eggs off the floor one by one because, again, no electricity so couldn't use vacoom and the broom we had was extremely shitty and didn't help at all
>finally clean the room but it doesn't matter. i had let things get so bad that the roach infestation didn't get any better in my room
>spend every single night in my room fantasizing about winning the lottery, inventing an amazing app and selling it off to Microsoft for millions, etc.
>near the end i was seriously considering throwing myself off a bridge
.>finally got the electricity back
>a family member bought me some clothes
>soon after i moved out of that house
this happened over a year ago now. i'm still living in poverty, the new house i'm in still has a lot of roaches but luckily not as bad as before. i'll find a roach crawling on my bed maybe once every two weeks or so.
right now i'm trying to lose weight. i just want to get down to 300 lbs because at that weight i know i'll be able to stand 8 hours. i'd finally be able to get a job.
even if the OP is a ruse, i'm kind of glad i wrote all this down. that was the absolute lowest point in my life and i've never talked about it with anyone because i don't have friends
if anyone has a question or just wants to talk or whatever shoot me an email.
>>25004728
>I believe strangers on the internet
>>25005621
>>25005676
>girl breaks up with her bf
>she can't handle not having a bf
>she starts holding my hand and calling me her bf
>she acts all cutesy with me, pretending to get jealous of other girls
>we snuggle together and watch movies sometimes
>shaking really hard because this is the closest I've ever been to another human being
>she laughs at me
>have to move away for the spring to Portugal for this study-abroad thing (I had nowhere else to live so I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have even gotten it)
>she texts me every day telling me she loves me
>one day, towards the end of the trip, she starts nonchalantly talking about some guy she's seeing
>I actually thought we were genuinely dating this entire time, she called me her bf and told me she loved me
>girls were flirting with me the whole trip, even had this hot Korean girl from my group hitting on me non-stop, and I didn't flirt back because I thought I had a gf
>the whole time I get back she starts going on about how she "doesn't date friends" or something even though she literally was my gf
>>25005512
inb4 lying I actually feel sorry for you. I hope you can manage to kill yourself painlessly anon, don't keep living this life
>dropped out in 7th grade due to severe mental illness
>try to keep up with online courses
>basically just forget about them and dont care either way
>my complete failure drives rift between parents
>end up divorcing that year
>dad left, mom hates me
Im only 18 and i havent talked to my father in 6 years. live with mom who stocks fridge so i can survive but i know she is only acting in compliance with the law, because she knows if she kicked me out i would just die.
>half black, half white bastard child
>extremely religious upbringing
>mom was molested, became an alcoholic
>took me away from prejudice family
>no family
>random abusive, nigger boyfriends
>mom pass out randomly drunk in public
>saw nothing but domestic violence no matter where i was
>saw dad fight his GF, saw him fight his fiance, saw my best friend's dad fight his wife, saw family fight other people with kids around, etc, etc
>physically and verbally abused myself by her boyfriends
>lost 3 best friends consecutively, after one friend of a friend was murdered (one of the guy's in the car when he got shot in the head is one of the 3 who died later on)
>ex gf became a heroin addicted camwhore, now refuses to work
>almost every girl we grew up around became a pornstar, escort or whore (Las Vegas)
>started growing weed for a living
>went through a slew of roommates, all either psychotic (and i do mean psychotic, one of them committed suicide) or slobs
>basically traumatized into a numb state
>still a virgin, only had 1 relationship with said camwhore, lasted only 3 months, that was at least 10 years ago
>work at Mcdonalds graveyard.
>have no social life, can't maintain friendships or relationships
>ride public transportation to work and home
>smoke weed just to get through the day
>can't even handle alcohol, makes me too sick
>>25005701
why? because she has a sick mom and some treatable disease?
>>25004728
If you wanted stories of pathetic lives all you had to do was ask OP, no need to lie.
Although compared to others here I live a great life.
A filthy hikikomori, who dropped out of school and college, living in a tiny box room with neetbux.
But anythings better than going outside and risking embarrassment.
>>25005504
>>I have like 2 friends and we just sit around sighing all day
i feel bad for you and hope things get better but this made me laugh
>>25005820
>anything's better than going outside
Amen to that.
>I'm hopeless enough to believe this post and put aside my pessimism for a slim chance that I'll be happy again
I miss my parents
>>25005688
this is horrific and sad as fuck
>>25005688
>>25005667
That's p. bad.
Beats being a wagecuck though.
>i had sex with my gf this morning again
>go to gym everyday
>my gf is fucking hot
>own a sports car
>live in a nice house
>have about 700 friends on facebook and 1500 followers on twitter
>pic related thats my bank account balance
>>25005596
Where in Australia?
>everyone tells me I'm a good guy.
>I know I'm ugly as shit.
>No one ever dates me.
>asked a girl that said I was an amazing guy if she wanted to date.
>"Better off as friends"
>Get super fucked up on pills and lean.
>mfw Im just and fuck up.
>I'm barely 22
>>25005512
Can I have sex with you? Hm?
>>25004728
>tfw never had a gf before
>>25006384
K you win the money, congrats. I just need your SSN, Bank Account Number, name, and routing number to transfer it to you.
>>25006094
I know this feel all too well, although my drug of choice is booze. I've given up on dating until something changes, thinking of taking steroids
This is why nobody likes you faggots. You are literally abasing yourself for money like a common whore. Competing to see who is he most pathetic
Everyone posting stories in this thread should be ashamed of themselves
>>25005634
On a cig break atm so i can only be quick yeh im british. But I was speaking to the social service since i was 16 and they kept telling me to report my dad for abusing me but as soon as i turned 18 they fucked off and they told me to come to some community hall for people my age being abused. I just dont want to lose my last family member if i get rid of my dad and i support him with out me he would die as i buy all the food cook and stuff. Just wanna buy a fucking one way plane ticket to south america and sell drugs but i cant. Soz for rant as no friends to tell my problems 2.
im 18 years old and ive only fucked 5 girls and got blowjobs from 6, i only get straight Bs in school and my dad just got demoted and now he's paid 500k a year not 900k a year
I am an old man 61 years old. I have never had a girlfriend or love partner. When I was younger my father used to suspend me in the air and rape me. He used to shove my head deep onto his cock and I hated every bit of it. For the rest of my life until he was dead he would call me nancy. My mother knew about all this but didn't care. I failed school and because we didn't have good classification of mental illness I was disregarded. I am now diagnosed with depression and extreme anxiety. I make money every month off of welfare but it is not enough to survive. I have never driven and I live in a trailer park. Everyday I sit back and observe the lives of others to see what a raw deal I have gotten. If you want some stories of my childhood here.
My dad shaved straight down the middle of my head and made me go to school.
My dad came on my shirt and made me go to school.
He would show up half naked jacking off.
If i attempted to find a woman he'd always ruin it.
The only thing that keeps me happy is 4chan and masturbation.
>>25006462
Everyone knows OP is lying. People just want to share, y'know?
>>25006510
Prove you're 61 oldtimer
>>25006536
I can't. The only reason i've been able to use 4chan all these years is because I beg neighbors to let me use their wireless. I only have a shitty dell from 200 years ago to my name.
>>25006032
>less than 10k balance
Being poor sucks man
I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep. I fall down the stairs everyday and lie on the floor groaning for hours. But, there is one thing. As you can well imagine, my medical bills are extremely high. But luckily, I'm able to keep myself alive by selling chocolate bars.
>>25006510
Just man up creep :^)
>>25004728
Don't suppose you got that money as a small loan from your father and are running for president are you?
Half Life 3 confirmed
>>25005813
Some people relate to different kind of experiences anon.
>>25006032
>being this superficial
> tfw my life is better than these anons
>>25004728
>Graduated in top 10 of my 700+person high school
>Multi Varsity athlete, homecoming king
>Go to college on the other end of the state
>Very Conservative college
>Make not a single friend for 4 years
>Constantly ignored by classmates and teachers alike
>Drop out my final semester, still haven't completed school
>Working in a mall at a watered down ThinkGeek Clone
>Licking the boots of my shitty christfag boss for a raise to $9.00 and hour so I can live.
>I had it all, and now I have nothing
>Started smoking weed to try and ease the pain
>Started drinking to try and ease the pain
>Currently at work
>Masturbated in the backroom before I opened the gates this morning
>Just waiting for one of my co-workers to ask about the odd stains on the wall by the lockers
>I could work with my dad in Aviation sales, but too afraid to ask since I partially wasted his money the last 2 years of school
>I got paid on friday, after bills and expenses I already only have $20 in checking, $5 in savings, and $50 of available credit.
>This isn't how I thought life would go when I was getting crowned infront of my school...
Unlike some of you who had never had a chance to experience greatness, I had it all in my hands and somehow let it all go.I regret my decisions every hour on the hour. If I had enough cash to just go back to school for one semester I could get a degree and maybe make enough money to not be in starvation mode the last 10 days of my 14 day pay period.
Please Anon. I'm not above begging right now.
>someone misgendered me on social media and triggered my PTSD
Shillbux pls?
Each of these people posting stories are equally pathetic.
You would really disregard your dignity for a measly $1,000? Make yourself look bad and give a guy a laugh for $1,000? You fucking sellouts.it's not like he's actually going to give you money either
>>25007291
Just some add ons...
>Best friend all through middle and high gets married to girl I've known for longer than him, doesn't invite me to ceremony.
>All our other friends get invited and go
>About 2 months ago he plans a roadtrip with all of them, I'm excluded.
>My car has wheel bearings made 100% of rust, and grinds everywhere I need to go, making transportation something that embarrasses me to think about
>Can't afford to fix wheels, or I can't eat
>I keep a piggy bank that I have to empty on day 9 or 10 every pay period so I can have cash to buy cheap deli meat and wonderbread to live off of for the next 5 days.
>Usual sandwich is 2 slices turkey one slice cheese. No room for luxury when I have like a $1.20 per day budget
>No good computer to waste my time on vidya
>No consoles to play
>No books to read
>I go to work and go home, usually to just browse 4chan and wonder what I've done with my life
>>25007444
Dude. I'm so desperate right now I'll take any chance. OP could have already left the site, blown all his cash, and an heroed but I'll still ride this thread until it 404's.
The sheer thought of having $1000 to buy food with right now is so enticing my dignity means nothing,
>>25006510
If this is true then I really feel bad for you anon, I'm sorry your life was such shit
>>25004728
>be me
>feel like browsing some feels
>see this
>realize that money just made me want, for an actual instant, to compete with other robits for beta status
>Not even enough for a car, and I actually thought about trying to be the saddest person
What has currency done to Humanity?
I was going to make a story up so I could get the free 1000 bucks, but jesus, I really don't need it as bad as some of these guys.
>born to a prostitute
>dad's a druggie
>mom beats me to near death every week
>mom starts offering me to men at the age of 4
>dad molests me too
>eventually put in orphanage
>killed a 3 year old when I was 8
>got an older friend to kill another 4 year old with me
>I strangled them both with my bare hands
>get jailed for like 10 years
>>25007444
this is /r9k/...we post about our pathetic lives whether there's money on the line or not. fuck off reddit
>>25004728
>Live in Norway
>Can't complain
>>25007590
sure.jpg
>I'm french.
>I'm white.
>>25007479
Take half eaten food out of trash bins until you have compiled enough for three meals. put it all in a plastic bag. compress it, add salt, microwave it, and force yourself to eat it
or Start shoplifting.
Yo op can you please give me like 300$ I really badly want to spend a day with my friends haning out all day and like buying food spending money on some drinks etc... Plz dooooood
>>25007835
No, and No.
I'm not gonna eat food which will likely make me ill, since I can't afford a doctor visit.(Thanks USA)
And I'm not gonna steal, since getting caught leaves a mark on my record, impacting my opportunities in the future. I don't need another thing to think about...
