Hey /r9k/ i have been sober for a year and i thought you should know because nobody else does.
Two and a half years ago i got dumped by a girl i still love. A year and a half ago I drank a 1.75 a day of barton vodka. 1 year ago i was stuck in detox from alcohol withdrawal. I had two seizures during detox.
Now i have a job and an apartment but im still unhappy
thanks for being there /r9k/ im going to eat a celebratory pizza and i got expensive cigarettes and coffee as a treat.
Keep it up OP.
You make me proud to be human
>>24997723
keep moving forward
God bless
>>24997723
im 18, and smoke a gram of weed every day, drink about one 750ml worth of vodka every month or so (the dispersion is random. sometimes i go weeks dry then party hard, other times i'll take a couple shots every night for a few days etc)
once a month to bi-monthly i robotrip
how bad am i fucking myself up?
>>24997723
Congrats op I'm proud of you. It's hard as fuck togive that bullshit up
Im not personally a drinker but my entire family is/was and my aunt died from it so im happy that you quit op.
Good job man. Words can't even begin to express how proud I am of you. Seriously. :)
>>24997810
Lmaoo. Relax bro. You are fine. You're not fucking yourself up at all.
Good job, now quit the cigs and the junk food.
>>24997962
really?
if my mom knew about all the empty liquor and dexter bottles under my bed she would be horrified
>>24997810
Not that bad, i drink a 1.75 ml of vodka every 3 days but function really well (college honors, gf, friends, ect) and smoked weed and cigs for 7 straight years. You are fine. Some people have their drug years of their life, just don't go to harder shit and you should be square.
Grats man. I quit drugs myself around April, I know the pain there. Enjoy your cigs/coffee.
>>24997997
Personally, I'm impressed you're taking the proper amount of time in between DXM trips. Good on you for that.
>>24997997
Yea my man. Your just being a kid. I have friends who kill handles by themselves every night. I know people who shoot dope, Molly and Coke respectively, I myself do roxys every weekend. And we're all no older than 20. Life sucks bro. If smoking your gram and drinking/ robotrippin occasionally helps you get trough life just do it. We're all fucked anyways. Word of advice tho, clean out under your bed. The more low key you can be the less anyone will suspect of you.
>>24998066
i spent about a month doing it hardcore when i first found it. i did it like 7 times in a month. i was starting to just feel shitty from it, being retarded and forgetting where i put my keys a second after putting them down, shit like that. and on my last couple trips my lower back kind of ached, which i believe was my kidneys
i realized this stuff could be a real fucking hook, how it lets you escape reality, even your body sometimes. its easy availability is a grave misrepresentation of its power.
>1.75l of vodka
That is fucking insanity, your tolerance must have been superhuman. This is coming from a guy who would smoke $100 worth of crack in half an hour, that's some heavy shit.
How are your liver enzymes these days? Mine are a-ok, I thought they'd be fucked. When my tolerance was lower I would eat 30 perc 5s at the same time, that's like 10g of apap. Worst I ever got was an upset stomach from it too.
>>24998142
try something like MXE, you can do that stuff every day.
>>24997769
>>24997809
>>24997849
>>24997927
>>24997929
thanks guys, im almost in tears, if it wasn't for this place (and /a/) id die from loneliness.
>>24997810
you sound like a normal 18 year old. If shit hits the fan and you have this compulsive need to not feel anything about it, you might have a problem
>>24997970
>now quit the cigs and the junk food
i have been doing /fit/ for 3 months but because today feels better than a birthday i didn't count my calories today, ill lift double tomorrow
>>24998126
Yeah, but if you're doing drugs to cope with life, that's pretty much a surefire sign you can't handle them. I tried to just smoke weed or drink like 10 separate times and every time I'd just end up doing heroin again after a while.
>>24998142
Yeah, I had a serious DXM/ketamine problem for several years. The stuff really can get a good grip on you if you have escapist tendencies. I quit after being woken up while lying on the floor surrounded by EMTs. Apparently I had been lying there screaming in absolute terror for nearly a half hour before I came to. Nothing was wrong with me, but it was kind of a wake up call that I didn't have as good of a handle on my use as I thought.
>>24998206
MXE is gone. There's been a drought for months, and more than likely it's not coming back, because there was just a HUGE blanket ban of like 300 different chems in China. They'll cook up shit that's illegal here and send it no problem, but once their government says it's illegal, they don't fuck with it anymore. They don't play games there, they'll take you out in a ditch and shoot you for that.
>>24998206
Just because you can doesn't really mean you should. Aside from that, it's illegal to produce pretty much everywhere that made it now, so it's fucking expensive even if you can find it.
>>24998161
>I'd eat 30 perc 5's
I know that fucking struggle bro. I fucked my stomach up so badly from percs. It's finally now, after over a year, starting to function properly again. Roxys are where it's at for me now. No Tylenol no problem.
>>24998228
To add: keep in mind with DXM that serotonin syndrome is a serious risk with frequent use. I've seen more than a few of my friends have seizures because of it.
>>24998258
Remember getting MXE for like $20 a g? Those were the days. I remember when mephedrone/methylone were still around too, but I missed out on that. I was lurking forums where people were talking about it and dropping sources, but I wasn't using drugs back then.
>>24998252
>>24998258
Europe's still producing it. I've got like three sources for it, at like $20/g.
>>24998268
Pharms aren't worth it. I can go get 10 bags of heroin for $50, and get high like 3-4 times vs paying a shitload of money for roxis.
any advice on how to now spiral into alcoholism? i've recently started drinking most days. i only drink a few beers and some liquor, just enough to get a good buzz and feel good, but i know it will get worse. i'm trying to rotate days between getting high on weed, getting high on kratom, and drinking, but idk. i just don't want to get addicted to anything.
any advice?
>>24998317
Don't get me excited like that, are you being serious? You should start vending on the DNMs, people would eat that up if you can source bulk.
How'd you find the sources, private forum?
>>24998213
Oh of course. I was just trying to show anon that he doesn't even know how bad shit can get. Let him know that he's going to be fine. I've already given up at trying to live a sober life. I manage to keep my roxys use to the weekends which is a good enough hold as I need. I'd never touch dope though cause I know for a fact it would be my end.
>tfw 5 dollar bags where I live
>>24998317
>tfw will never try drugs beyond pot, dxm and mushrooms because pot and mushrooms i grow, dxm i buy at the store, but i cant figure out how to darknet and have no friends
>>24998300
Dude, cheapest I paid was 5/g since I was good friends with a guy that would spend like 10k at a time on it. I preferred MDAI to methylone, methylone was too stimmy for me.
Do you remember when you could get pure DXM for a dollar a g? I parachuted so much of that crap. Did you ever try any of the 2c's? 2c-c was my fave.
>tfw still have a box of 100 oral syringes for plugging MXE in my closet
>>24998358
If you're worried you're an alcoholic, you probably are, or are on the way. There's no way to stop it, you can try the "moderation" thing, but it never works.
>>24998388
>cant figure out how to darknet
Are people really this fucking stupid? Download TAILS, throw it on a USB drive, buy some coins on circle, and get a fucking PO box.
>>24998413
You can still get DXM off alibaba for dirt cheap.
I'm sitting on a gram of 2c-b, 5g MDMA, and 55 hits of acid right now, but I'm on probation til august.
>>24998161
Im fine from what i can understand. I dont remember how bad my liver was but my brain was wet for a week after the worst of the shakes.
I couldnt talk for a week and it was terrifying because i could think of the words to say but all that came out was groans. This is the worst feeling in the world. Having no control over your mouth and needing to scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME" is scary.
im not sure what happened but i knew i was done after that
>>24998413
I never did anything with MXE but snort it. I kinda want to get some ethylphenidate and slam it, but I don't want to get all fucked up again.
I smoke weed every day and my life is fucking great health wise at least.
>>24998331
I feel that, but at the same time you have to keep in mind that pills are clean. Yea obviously the dope Rush is better than he roxy Rush, but after that first 30mins to an hour you can have a dirty high. With pills that never happens and the high of the roxys compared to dope is very similar after the initial rush. I'd always choose them over dope.
>>24998445
I don't do DXM anymore, tolerance is too high and my partner started getting really fucked up rage episodes on it. Not too interested in getting back on drugs, things improved a lot for me since I got clean and now I can afford to have whatever sort of other entertainment I want. A pile of new videogames definitely trumps drugs for me at this point.
>>24998488
It's the same shit, you're just getting a placebo because you think getting it from a doctor makes it 'cleaner'. The only difference is that oxy is a little more stimulating than heroin, but they're basically the exact same high.
>not doing drugs
>smoking cigarettes
lol
>>24998445
>alibaba
just looked this up. is it legit? says you have to contact the supplier and it just gives you a box to type. what?
>>24998515
I went back to videogames after I quit drugs. Haven't played them in years and I'm actually having a good time with them again. Got Xenoblade with an HD texture pack running on Dolphin and I'm playing it on my 60" plasma, looks fucking spectacular.
>>24998358
keep doing what you are doing and you will know when/if you are an alcoholic. Youll lose control and start to lose everything in the process.
My advice is to stop the nonsense now but you won't listen because you havent lost anything yet
>>24998543
It's legit, but you're gonna be talking to Chinese dudes, so bear in mind their English won't be that good. They'll send smaller sample orders, ask them what's the smallest order they'll send. Then they'll have you pay with western union or moneygram. The site is legit and so are the sellers.
>>24997723
I know you can't control your own feelings, but I think you're too good for her, and you should let her go.
The fact that you've came so far shows you have a crazy work ethic and genuinely care about yourself and well being. You have so much good about yourself that she couldn't see. You deserve someone better. Someone who sees who you are.
>>24998525
I'm agreeing with you, but your seriously going to tell me that your diesel isint cut with something? You've never gotten bad dope before? The roxys are cleaner when compared to dope.
>tfw arguing with another junkie at 11:30 on a Monday night about the differences between dope and roxys
Sorry grandma.
>>24998537
>not knowing the definition of sober regardless
keep trying, one day you might make someone mad
>>24998602
>>24998543
You used to be able to get research chems on Alibaba years ago. A lot of DNM guys got their plugs that way, they were buying RCs off them when they were legal, then they just stayed in touch with the supplier and built a relationship.
>>24998649
It's cut, but the cuts are inert. It's just lactose or inositol usually, nobody puts anything in there to affect the high really. You can get a pound of dextrose for like 3 fucking dollars, it's just not economical to cut it with anything that would make the high "dirty". Crush up a roxy and mix it up with a little flour, then swallow it. It's the same high, there's just more powder now.
>>24998687
are you stupid? Lung Cancer doesn't make you look cool unless your girlfriend is 16.
>>24998723
Are you from jersey? all your points are valid I don't feel like arguing anymore. I just feel better about myself I guess since it's a prescription pill and not
Dope. Idk. It's all just rationalization for me to continue my habit.
>>24998797
The jersey dope scene is real.
>>24998797
Not mad, just pointing out your bias. Lots of dope fiends start off the same way. "I'll never do heroin, I just do pills" turns into "I'm just gonna sniff it" and then "I'll just shoot it once in a while". That's the way it goes, pills are just more user friendly and less scary.
I'm from Connecticut, which has the same dope scene basically, but your heroin is wayyyyyy better.
>>24998851
For real, dirt cheap and strong. Lots of CT dope is NJ dope that's been cut and bagged in new stamps. UCONNs were a really popular stamps here for months, good dope too.
>>24998616
>you're too good for her
i dont have anything good but my sobriety and life back, but my life is not much
i appreciate the feels but theres just so much i want to say to her that ill never get to because she doesn't like me. I also dont want it to turn into the whole "look at how shitty you made my life because you left" bullshit, which i know it might turn out to sound like and i dont want her to feel guilty, I just want her to know. Then i would be done with her and could finally move on.
I already have a lot, in the sense i know i can never have what we had back. I just need her to know how much her absence affected my life
>>24997723
im in recovery too. started with pills and alcohol. turned into iv crank for a month. that's when i decided to get clean.
life still sucks but at least i have people like you to relate to.
this one time I was a benzo addict fuck it was dumb I was taking 8mg of lorazepam a day 40mg of temazepam a night and 30-60mg of diazepam throughout the day
blacked out like 6 months straight
remember doing some shit I would never do straight, bad things that could land you in jail for a long time, stuck up a [REMOVED] store, steamrolled a few dealers, stole cars regularly some other bad things I wont name
copped 4duis and a couple other arrests, rolled my car 7 times, basically just a degenerate retard
fuck the withdrawal was shit I switched to k-pins but I could never get enough for my withdrawal basically rapidly detoxed over 4 days then slowly dropped the k-pins from 8mg over two weeks
feel a lot better now, ended up on house arrest which slowed me down and I started on antabuse (I was drinking as well, only beer because I thought I would die, but still like 12+ cans a day)
remember kids, things don't get better they just get less shit, and your pointless struggle to avoid misery continues till your meaningless death. life's pointless if you're not enjoying it, so just do whatever you need to feel good, or at least better than you were
>>24998797
Once in a great while you get fent laced bags though. A lot of people died here in Bristol off some bags called New World when I was in rehab. It made the news and everything, was a huge deal. The only problem with those is that they're mixed unevenly, so sometimes there's hotspots. One bag in the same batch can be fine, and the next bag will kill you.
>>24998366
You gotta go through hoops to get them. One made me join a religious cult to get MXE pellets.
>>24998906
kind of scares me that if I ever wanted to step it up from pills it would be but a 20 minute trip north for the best in the country.
>>24998861
Yea I know bro. I just didn't want to come off as a know it all. I'm currently at the shooting phase. I bang up on 2. I literally just refuse to do dope. I know I'm basically doing it but idk, I still feel better about myself.
>>24998906
>>24998851
The jersey dope game is fucking crazy. It's so fucking cheap and that straight fucking ether.
>tfw already lost 2 friends I used to do roxys with to od's
>>24998957
I got a 2nd and 3rd degree attempted burglary, and 2 attempted larcenies from xanax.
>>24998971
Lmao, is that one of those sites that makes you join their "church" to get around the law? Point me in the right direction?
>>24998978
If you keep doing pills, I promise you that you're going to do heroin. Exact same thing happens to every single junkie ever.
>>24998998
I sniffed for a year, then started shooting. My habit never went beyond 6 bags at a time, I actually smoked a lot more crack. Biggest waste of money ever, you'll drop $50 without a thought for a high that lasts like 3 minutes. I can smoke through a 50 piece in 15 minutes.
>>24998961
I heard about that happening up in Rochester when a friend of mine lived there. It killed like 10 kids or some shit. It's crazy. I personally love to mix fent and roxys, but finding fent by me is surprisingly hard.
>>24998948
hahaha ive slammed crank before, we are even more relatable now.
how long do you have and did anything bad happen to trigger your spiral or did you just fall in love with drugs?
>>24998998
is cold copping in p-town really the best method?
>>24999049
That dope habits not too bad then bro. But that Bobby is O fucking D. I'd never touch it. What makes it so good? I understand the whole impulse buying, but fuck that high must be next level.
>>24998998
A kid I went to elementary school with jst
>>24999056
You can still get acetyl/butrylfentanyl off the DNM, but just a month or two ago you could still get it off the clearnet. That's why there's been a lot more ODs lately, you can get the fent analogues for super cheap and mix it in your dope to make it super potent.
>>24999098
Check the opiates subreddit, there's meetup threads for every state. Copped many times that way. You just go with another junkie and throw him a bag or two for taking you to his dude.
>turns into drug thread
lol
>>24999116
If you've ever sniffed coke, the best way I can describe it is like if you compressed a coke high down into like 2 minutes. You get an insane rush that makes your ears ring and sound gets all distorted, kinda like nitrous. Then you get hyped up and feel literally invincible for a couple minutes, then you keep taking more hits trying to get that first blast feeling again, but it never comes. I've never run into a drug with such a strong urge to redose, it's completely irresistible. There's just zero willpower involved with crack.
>>24998485
HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR TOLERANCE UP ANSWER ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>24999082
thanks for being curious. i started using vicoden and xanax at like age 13. liked it because it was from a pharmacy so it's not really a bad drug. lol.
used because i had family issues and social issues.
as i grew up i never really stayed in one place for more than a year or two.
>tfw when no friends
what triggers me now is the fact that i cave been through homelessness, recovery, and mild success but people still treat me like an idiot.
im 20 now btw.
i could keep going on about it but i won't. how bout you man?
>tfw 2 months sober and still hate life.
>>24999257
just smoke a couple times of month you degenerate, slow your roll a little
And stop with the fucking oil, it kills your tolerance like nothing else
>>24997723
I'm genuinely proud of you, OP. Congratulations, please keep it up. Things get better.
>>24999181
So it's kind of like shooting Molly but on steroids? How the fuck do you stop that without help?
>>24997723
that's awesome. hopefully you find what happiness means to you.
>>24999431
IV/smoked cocaine is probably the most intense rush that exists. There's a reason crackheads are always in such bad shape, you're willing to give up everything for it. The only way to stop is to really, truly want to be sober. If you're not 100% dedicated, you'll never make it.
>>24999506
That's insane bro. I'm glad to hear that you managed to stop it. Of everything out there I think crack is the only thing i would never do.
Do we have any Slav bros in here who have fucked with krokodile? Any stories to share? I heard about it popping up in Florida and Nevada, but idk if that was legit.
>>24999264
>what triggers me now is the fact that i cave been through homelessness, recovery, and mild success but people still treat me like an idiot
hahaha i used to shitpost at mcdonalds while in homeless shelters
one thing that helped me a lot early on was realizing that triggers are a meme, if you are an addict like me you love drugs no matter the circumstances, it just happened that way and there is nobody to blame
>tfw when no friends
i even lost my using friends in my bullshit, anon, 4chan was always there though but friends come. Im part of a dnd group now and we all have similar interests, they just don't know about my past.
>tfw 2 months sober and still hate life
i was still in physical therapy that early on and everything was foggy, i drank my brain wet. Those feels go away after awhile. Im still unhappy but im a perfectionist and i will always be unhappy because nothing will ever be perfect. Im happily unhappy is the best way to put it.
Im 23 anon my use started wayyyyy before my break up but it started on adderall. I went to the skatepark one day after school and my buddy bought drugs and i realized i get a script for the same ones.
but i got honors in school and was in the anime club where i met my gf. We started dating while i was still experimenting and my drug use increased while i was with her. 2 and a half years ago i got dumped and threw everything i held dear away so i can feel better
>>24999343
>>24999478
thank you guys you get a cute tomoko
>>24999727
that's rough dude.
>if you are an addict like me you love drugs no matter the circumstances
so true.
if i had a shard right now i would rail the whole thing. lel
>>24999860
starting the whole cycle over that leads to feels only an addict can know
but thats who we are, id be lying if i said that sometimes i would do anything to just be a hopeless sloppy drunk again but i dont have another second chance in me. I would kill myself this time if that happened. Im sick of losing everything.
and
>not trying to make it last just a little longer
cmon homie
>>25000152
the cycle is hell. good for you man keep it up.
i wouldn't chip away at it because it would be the last time i did it. hahahahahahaha
>>24997723
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, NORMIE SHIT!
Jesus dude a handle a day? I was only upto a fifth a day at my worst. I don't think I could ever drink a full on handle without throwing up. That must of gotten expensive quickly.
>>25001003
stupid manchild
>>25001087
worthless normie wagekek
>>25001044
I did throw up, a lot, but not from the spins
every morning when i would wake up id take a sip and instantly vomit last nights ramen and vodka but then id be empty and itd be fine
its all just tolerance man, ive met people who can go through two a day back in physical therapy
>>24997723
Similar story
Do you have memory problems from the drink???
>>25001003
fuck off retard
grats OP, it only gets better from this point on
>>25001242
As far as i can tell my brain is where it was before i started drinking.
I did drink my brain wet and had to go to physical therapy but im golden now i think
>>25001003
fuck off sperg lord, OP has managed to get a grip on his alcohol abuse, now maybe you can get a grip on your addiction to hot pockets and fapping to ungodly amounts of trap porn.
Keep on truckin OP
>>25001252
>>25001430
thank you guys take more tomoko
>>24997723
I am also a soberfag and life is incredibly colorless now. Been to detox a few times, got out of rehab about two months ago and relapsed twice.
I really want to get drunk.
>>25001636
think and focus on whats stopping you, thats how i have stayed sober for a year
