Feeling anything?
Want to get something off of your chest?
Tell 'em here.
I fucking hate yellow and before the death of my mom she gave me paints and colours, In the last moments I painted our home without sun and she told me: But I want to see the sun again, after of that, my mom died and she never saw the sun again.
I stole her last sun.
>>24975243
We're starting off strong today
>>24974861
i wish i could be drunk forever
>>24975243
Never blame yourself for that anon
I have 3 engineering finals tomorrow and I'm beyond fucked. We're looking at C's, and not the ones with plusses.
I really hope that I can get a fresh start next semester, but knowing that I've tried a "fresh start" or mental reset unsuccessfully over 20 times this semester doesn't give me hope.
![1437215089149s[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/84h8pEi.jpg "1437215089149s[1].jpg")
>>24975406
At least C' are passing.
I blow my load too fast and I don't feel anything.
Meds aren't helping.
Thx depression.
leaving for my first semester of college in 3 weeks and i have never been less prepared mentally for anything
i'm terrified
>>24975455
Sorry to hear that anon. I'm not sure if I'm depressed, but this link might help both of usor not
https://www.reddit.com/r/depressionregimens/comments/2ygh2t/social_anxiety_depression_and_supplements/
im always depressed on sundays
>>24974861
i'm doing really great actually. everything in my life is going pretty perfectly.
Merry Christmas robots! enjoy your tendies
I just realized I can't touch women
There's an invisible force preventing me from touching them for more than 3 seconds without feeling awkward
>Christmas diner is over
>saying goodbye to the qt 9/10 boss
>she knows I'm ridiculously awkward and a virgin so she loves to tease me
>aren't you going to kiss me anon?
>awkward hug and cheek kiss
>this is enough to make you blush huh?
>get home
>post this
I also hate when my coworkers ask me to dance
>Hey anon let's dance
>she starts rubbing her body against mine
>don't know what I'm supposed to do or feel since I don't enjoy it at all
I feel like I'll be called a rapist/creep for touching girls
I feel like I'm too submissive to get a girlfriend. And I don't even mean like beta, I just think I value feelings, romance, and emotional support too much in a relationship. No woman wants a mentally fucked up "fixer-upper", and I don't blame them.
I can't sleep. I have work tomorrow early so this is going to suck.
Chatted up a qt3.14 on a dating site and she is kinky as shit. Ropes and safewords kind of stuff. She wants me to dom her but I... can't...
I just can't.
I always thought redpill and r9k would teach me to hate women giving me the power to be a callous asshole who acts out of selfishness. Now an opportunity arises to put the sword to this hot redhead and I just... can't.
Got anxiety all night now from having sexted her up. I was bluffing about all the shit I was going to do to her and she couldn't tell.
its an odd feel but it feels bad.
>Get fucked up on Friday night w/boy I love who doesn't reciprocate that feeling
>We've been dating for a while
>End up having this really in depth conversation with one of his friends who was having relationship problems
>Find out that he sees me as very temporary
>I don't see him as temporary at all
>tfw when too much of a pussy to break it off with him even though he's been pretty shitty recently because I'm just so enamoured
Why am I never good enough. I don't get it. No one will ever love me.
I live in constant fear that the meager social circle I've acquired is going to completely fall apart one day once they realize I'm faking and lying my way through life.
>>24974861
>Feeling anything?
>tfw no gf
I would give every single thing I own to experience a requited romance.
>>24974861
>tfw want to be good at math but stupid.
>>24974861
tfw no girl or boy to fuck me or love me
I'm ugly, poor, and uninteresting.
Explain why I should keep living.
I'm short, no gf, I've barely got friends, and I don't think I'm gonna last long in the world anyways so who cares.
>>24975804
original the comment, do not steal
>>24975781
maybe because you're a faggot whining on an image board?
jesus fuck, end yourself
>>24975523
I'm doing the same thing at a top university
>>24975943
I only whine on an image board because I can't talk to anyone irl.
I have this stoic image that can't be ruined. This is the only time I can actually show my sensitivity without repurcusion
I fooled myself into thinking university would be a new beginning, where I could make friends and experience real relationships.
I've never been lonelier.
>>24975649
if the girl initiates it, go for it. for me it took a girl dragging me to the dance floor at the work xmas party (she was plastered) and physically putting my hands on her hips before i ever touched a girl like that
being pissed myself my hand would slip down her leg/ass and she'd move it back up with a sly smile.
didn't have the balls to kiss her. i felt like she sensed i was a loser and was doing me a solid for the evening. who knows. probably the closest I've ever come (and ever will).
>TFW never been in a relationship
>TFW addicted to vaping, fapping, adderall, and caffeine
>TFW can't stop fapping to lolis
>TFW slacking in college
>TFW you've been rejected more than a dozen times
>TFW you develop feelings for a friend who's also male after getting high on adderall and sharing secrets all night
>TFW you're on all sorts of psychiatric meds that destroy your sex drive
>TFW you fantasize about being a grill
Please kill me.
Have to get a job soon, last time I had one I thought about suicide daily. I hope I make it though this winter
>>24974861
i promised myself i'd have my own apartment by the end of the year
it didn't happen and now i'm really disappointed in myself
>>24976105
What's the job gonna be?
depression is an inescapable slump
medication makes me feel physically worse
only reason I can't kill myself is because it would be devastating to my mother
every day I hope a freak accident takes me so people won't think of me as a coward
>>24976072
>21 Years old
>Have a job in gamerush
>fap with hentai
>Buy animu figures every month
>No gf
>Live with parents
Someone who works in the only field I'm really interested in told me that it would be extremely unlikely for me to get past the application process because of my lack of work experience and the fact that I have 0 social connections outside of my family.
Why the fuck did I let myself stay in my room playing video games while other kids were making friends, getting their first jobs, and experiencing life and think it wouldn't catch up with me? Why am I the only person in my family who can't function socially? Seriously, why the fuck am I even here?
>social anxiety
>reclude self in home for over a year after last failed attempt to fix myself up
>"that's it, I'm gonna get it together for real this time, I'm sick of being a NEET again"
>"I'll get job as a waiter to work on my anxiety issues!"
>"I'll retake studies and get multiple exams, make or break it for real this time!"
>"I got a qt robot gf from r9k!"
>fail half the tests
>every day I have to work is so stressful it physically hurts, coworkers hint they saw my demeanor change from relaxed and likeable to irritable and angry, being constantly asked if I'm tired/angry whenever I'm not forcing a presentable face
>it's been over half a year months and the chick wont even say my own damn name because of her reasons. Feels like I'm "dating" a kid a lot of the time.
I really should have just killed myself a couple years ago. I feel as if I've only been fucking around in this world lately when I don't really have anything going on here, whenever I try to get somewhere I always end up crashing and falling back in the same damn place I was 6 years ago.
>I am on my 6th week of Accutane
>my back has been aching since week 2
>I did some research and some people on the internet say their side effects became permanent
I'm not gonna take it anymore, I just hope I haven't taken it long enough for my spine to be fucked for the rest of my life.
>tfw working up the courage to work on Okcupid profile
I'll probably never message a girl but the loneliness has reached this point. I'm desperate enough.
I don't know if I can really say it was, but I really do think I did love her. I had so much love to give to her, and I still do. I just wish I was good enough to give it to her, that I was good enough for her to accept it.
My life is fucking miserable. I wish it wasn't. I know life doesn't have to be this way, it isn't this way for a lot of people, but it is for me, and I've no means to escape my own life. My only options are to continue living or die, and I don't want to do either.
My cat is getting old. I love him so much and It hurts to know that he can't understand that. I feel like my chest will physically rupture the day he dies.
>parents divorced at 12
>father is a fat aspergers alcoholic who smokes a pack a day and no one talks to anymore
>mother works two jobs to support my autistic younger sister and my white trash older sister who has borderline personality disorder and lives on welfare
>mother turns 55 this year and is permanently injured from her previous job
>I'm literally her last hope for a normal life
>I'm depressed and suffer from anxiety but she doesn't know
>if she finds out I'm scared of how she'll take it
i really can't handle this. it makes me nauseous
>>24974861
>tfw australian gf who likes yanks
>>24976128
No idea, I just don't want to feel like a leech anymore. Also, I am basically no longer attracted to 3D girls unless they're from the ages of 13 to 17
>>24976292
I'm the same, I swipe and even chat on tinder, but never take it to the meeting in real life part.
>>24975709
think of it this way. If she wants you to dom her, she trusts you a lot. BDSM is a very intimate thing and you can't hate the person you're doing it to.
So go and tie up and slap that qt bitch around because you CARE about her!
If that ain't your kink, you can think of it as massage foreplay. Rubbing your girl's shoulders doesn't get your rocks off but sure as hell gets her relaxed and turned on. Ropes and sadism and shit is her intimacy, I guess.
>>24976160
Hentai, drawings, stories, thoughts. That's all that does it for me. On the other hand, this is what 99% of vanilla porn pornstars are like:
>Oversized tits
>Overly long fingernails
>Pussy has clearly been fucked by like 2000 different dudes
>Covered in tattoos
>3 inch thick layer of makeup on her face
>Shows zero emotion
>Doesn't seem excited or shy in the slightest
>Is loud and vulgar as fuck to compensate for the fact that doing this shit is like another fucking day at the office
Seriously, if normal porn wasn't all directed toward fucking chads maybe I wouldn't be fapping to cartoons. And when you're on medication that lowers your sex drive and it usually takes anywhere from 40 minutes to 2 hours to fap, you run out of fucking material real quick.
Got an exam wednesday and I already want to kill myself. I have no idea what to do with myself and just want to forget about every bit of clutter in my life and start fresh, but I can't.
>>24976346
a massage is easy though. i'm completely submissive. it's not in my nature to be a dom and talk dirty and whip her and shit.
>>24974861
i'm obese
i dont want to obese
imagine people's subconscious mind reeling in disgust whenever they see me and judging me for even stepping out of the house
forced to go to uni classes and endure this social anxiety nightmare
try to mask emotions by watching anime late at night, but when i put my laptop up, some nights i will just stare at the dark ceiling and cry myself to sleep
I hate my ugly fucking body and face. I'm too tall, too chubby, too ugly, obsessive, and nobody is ever going to love me like I love them.
I'm too scared of killing myself because I'm afraid I might fail and end up with some severe disorder or disability.
i can't stop eating. i've been putting on weight steadily for the past 6 months. I wanna find coke and adderall so i can stop eating for a few days. i'm disgusting and hate myself.
>>24975371
Feelings mutual, I wish the same
>>24976372
What if she orders you to? A girl making you do something demeaning and against your nature, like being a sadist, is pretty submissive.
>>24976391
>is a girl
just loose weight and you'll be fine
>obsessive
for a lot of desperate drooling robots that's a perk
today at the grocery store I saw a balding manlet with a cute 7/10 girl that was taller than him
it really inspired a lot of hope in me
>>24976391
you got it
you got it
i believe in you
>>24976351
I relate to this so fucking much, porn stars really are brainless and soulless, like they're machines or something. How is it that a fucking drawing can show and elicit more emotion than a human
My best friend went out with my oneitis today and she woulda blown him if he would got hard but he has problems down there. He did what I've been trying to do for about 6-7 in one day and more. Just fuck me up already. I have a sharp as fuck knife and nothing really holding me back
>>24976382
Here for you anon
Not obese but a tall ugly nigga
>>24976455
she is a slut, get a new one
>>24976346
we literally just started talking tonight. she doesn't trust me at all, or well, she shouldn't. we know nothing about each other. it just doesn't seem healthy. i feel dishonest for not being upfront about having no serious interest in BDSM
>>24976372
hey... you're not me! i agree with you, though, its not in my nature
>>24976473
I have been for the last two months, she is not my type at all but my fucking mind is in pieces from Uni and I cant stop thinking about her
>>24976455
did he know you're interested in her? If so, your best friend is kind of a cunt.
>>24976351
I don't understand the knock that people to give towards hentai and drawn porn. It's a lot sexier and a lot more fun.
Professional porn is fucking disgusting. I really don't see the appeal of some fat ugly caked-up ho getting a cumshot on her face and then zooming in really close with a fish eye lens. It grosses me out.
>>24976391
Join the club.
>Fat
>Ugly
>Is actually attracted to someone maybe once in a blue moon
When I actually am genuinely interested in someone, it's always borderline obsessive. I don't just wish I could fuck them, I think about them all the time and never let it go.
>Obsessed with the concept of "love"
>Obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship
>Obsessed with doing weird things with significant other
>Tried to kill self
>Afraid to try again because I'm afraid I'll end up either a quadriplegic or retarded
God help me.
>>24976501
Yeah he did, he knew all about my fucked up obsession with her
>>24974861
I tried to turn in my final assignment worth 40% of my grade in and it would not submit, the due date was 11:59pm tonight as a i clicked the butto to submit the clock turn to 12:00am and it didn't fucking submit! I then emailed my teacher the assingment and am hoping he says yes to grading it.
He is a pretty nice guy thought and i have talked to him persoanlly so he might let it slide.
I AM STILL FUCKING PISSED THIS COULD BE IT I COULD FAIL THE FUCKING CLASS ALL BECAUSE I WAS SECOND LATE IN TURNING IN THE ASSIGNMENT AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Things are decent. I don't need the emotional support from my old friends and feel like going off on my own. I'm just sitting around waiting for my next idea of what to do with this life
>>24975818
intense feels m8
I don't know the last time I felt a romantic passion for someone, even a one-sided one.
I think I just automatically assume that they're disgusted by me, so I don't even let myself get attached to them.
>>24976072
he is your soul mate
i am telli-
dont risk giving-
>>24976489
It was dishonest to lead her into thinking you're into/be willing to do that with her, but I completely understand why you did it.
I'd say either:
1. Be honest and say you're not truly into BDSM, then either admit you're willing to try it (that's what acting is for!) with her or say you have no interest and move on.
2. Just leave the conversation at sexting and move on eventually.
>>24976251
You are lucky if you do not get your brain chemistry fucked like I did.
But hey, atleast I do not feel nauseous when looking in the mirror anymore.
>>24976662
I'm on accutane right now, about 3 months in, and I can't tell if my shitty thoughts are just winter no gf sadness or if it's actually the medicine.
I haven't had any self harming or suicidal thoughts but I've been in a serious slump.
Lost virginity @ 15. Probably should have wait a bit more :/
The guy she's with is way too good for her. He's a 9/10 and she's barely a 6. But that's exactly why she won't leave him, he way too attractive. He's also 4 years older. I'm a 8/10 in looks but as soon as she sees how fuxked up I am she'll probably stop talking to me. Oh well.
>Tfw ignored
>My best friend got a girlfriend recently and now he's ignoring me to talk to her
>I'll just get high to cope with the pain
>>24976691
I think its still in the green zone if its just 3 months and you decide to quit. My acne was so bad I had to go on high dosages for a year straight and it recked many things in my system. I got atleast lucky in terms of physical health so far, but my mental health has been deteriorating since.
Also I still get occassional pimples and when I get unlucky and have 2 large ones intense waves of depression wash over me like I am back in this time again. Then there is literally nothing that could keep me from getting that prescription again and fuck myself up on even more of this shit.
>>24976776
Well, I'm 3 months in, but I actually haven't seen any progress towards my acne. I think I'll stick it out just a little bit longer.
i hate having a broad chest and shoulders, nothing fits right and i look weird from the side. it also doesnt help that i have a thick fucking neck that is almost not even a neck.its the worst feel
Why doesn't my dad love me...b/ros...why...I just want that love. call me what you want...but I've never felt like I could ever amount to anything in his eyes. It hurts you know...god it hurts...
>>24976450
Because you're not a fucking Chad. Drawings, writing, and fantasies let us express feelings and thoughts far too deep for a fucking sleezy porn director or shitty porn actress to convey.
In a nutshell, 99% of porn stars and producers are either too lazy to put in the effort to make porn genuine, or they're simply too overexposed to sexuality to see anything more to it than raw desire and explicitness.
Hentai artists are like you and me
>Mostly introverted
>Looks for emotional connections and sentimental feelings in both relationships and their sexuality
>Little to no sexual experience
>Likes grills that seem more pure/less experienced (not limited to absolute virgins, but not the fucking tramp who will suck off anyone who buys her a drink)
>Wants a gf, not a friend with benefits
>Wants to feel loved
Porn stars and producers are the fucking polar opposite of us and our desires, the epitome of Chad-dom
>Fucked by so many people they fail to feel anything more than physical stimulation from sex
>Wants sex with zero strings attached
>Has sex with many different people on a regular basis
>Wants friends with benefits
>Everybody showered them with attention throughout their lives because they were conventionally attractive
None of those pornstars have the life or personality we seek in grills, my friend. There's nothing more to them than meets the eye.
They're not kind and loving because they get all the attention and affection they need simply due to their bodies.
They're not sentimental and emotional because they're desensitized to sex just like we're desensitized to porn.
They're not funny or smart because they never fucking had to be, they had conventionally attractive bodies.
They don't have complex thoughts or ideas because their bodies do all the talking, even if they wanted to do something more than just porn.
>>24976292
tfw made fake okcupid profile pretending to be alpha chat
>have convos with 7/10+ girls
>struggle to close browser and stop chatting because as soon as i do, i am back to being [me].
>stare at ceiling in silence
god dammit
I'm a kissless virgin but I fingerbanged my high school girlfriend in a movie theater, does that count for any points?
For some reason I find myself desperate for gf. I don't know what the fuck is happening. I dream about meeting a girl, and falling in love, and experiencing that pure feeling of affection that I've never even had in real life.
I've never loved any girl, but I can still feel it on things that aren't even real.
And the best part is that nothing is gonna come of it. Because no girls even talks to me.
Fuck, man. I just wanna know there's a chick who actually exists that can show me that I can feel some pure compassion.
>severe depression daily
>need to toke to sleep
>sometimes cry for an hour until my throat hurts before i sleep (been happening more often)
>horrible loneliness overshadows success in academia
>trying to accept sexuality but finding it difficult as fuck
>tfw no bf, worst feel
>>24976702
Fuck off.
I bet you're not even 18
>>24977271
You've had a gf and touched a vagina, get the fuck out, normie.
>>24977399
It's literally been all downhill from there. I don't leave the house anymore.
>tfw want gf
>tfw don't feel ready to start dating
>tfw go through self-improvement phases
>tfw make some "progress"
>tfw don't feel any more confident
>tfw don't feel ready for dating
>tfw get intimidated and give up for a while
>time passes
>feel detached from society and life
>days pass
>eventually the feeling for tfwnogf returns
>go back to start of post
>>24975243
Consider writing. This could be a great chapter starter/ender.
I am seriously worried I am too broken to function in society. Every day I feel myself drifting farther from "normal".
Finally a girl takes interest in me and its a high schooler. Conflicted
I have a crippling obsession with intelligence. I know I am not that smart and I have developed a massive inferiority complex over it. I would do literally anything to be smarter.
>>24977491
Hmm try studying
>tfw hung over, listening to Nyanners, posting on 4chan, and applying to Harvard for PhD at the same time
>tfw lost ability to give a fuck
>>24977514
I used to be a pretty great student, but lately I just don't see the point in it. I am not smart enough to be exceptional at anything I do. I would rather die than live my life as an average person.
>tfw this guy i kind of talk to at work texts me
>wants to meet up with other people from work
>wants to go to dinner and chill at his place
>i've only ever really had two friends and have only hanged out with them almost my entire life
>know i should say yes but im scared
After more than 9 months working the night shift, my boss has asked me to start working the day shift at the start of the new year. He thinks he's doing me a favor, but I've actually progressed a lot since I've gotten this job, and the fact that I didn't have to see any coworkers at all was huge for me. Going to suck, having to dress up and wear a fake smile and pretend I'm doing work at my computer.
Also, seriously thinking about finding someone online who doesnt want to be alone on Christmas. I don't have a facebook, tinder, instagram, or snapchat, so I'm stuck with craigslist. I don't even care who replies to the message when I post it, I just legitimately want to be around another human being on what used to be my favorite day of the year.
/blog
>>24977533
>tfw bears lost to redskins today
fucking kill me
Going to be calling a psychiatrist (and a lawyer) to make an appointment tomorrow.
It's gotten really bad recently and I don't think I can take it alone anymore.
>>24977750
glad to hear that
there's no shame in getting help
>>24977750
Why will you call a lawyer?
>>24977775
Because other people are involved, not just me.
>>24977818
Ah, didnt think of that. Its really great that you are getting help! Best of luck
>>24977764
I didn't ask for help earlier since I was afraid nobody would believe me and the psychiatrist may just end up reporting me.
But then I realized if I was fucked up enough to warrant reporting, I would already have snapped and already have been locked up.
>Want to live a simple, quiet, content, conservative life
>Get bored doing anything that's not creative in nature
>Relate to liberals on all levels except politics
>Have degenerate urges that I can't explain
Please help
>tfw your best friend (who you used to sympathise with a lot over nogf) gets a gf and becomes completely distant
>tfw academically successful but socially retarded
I tell myself that I'm going to eventually attract a wife with money and gifts but it doesn't dull the pain of loneliness.
>>24976615
>TFW we're both basically 4chan neckbeards
>TFW he's cute as hell
>TFW we're basically best friends
>TFW we literally only hang out 1 on 1
>TFW we always have heart to hearts
>TFW we agree on 90% of things
>TFW when he disagrees with me, he's smart, respectful, and well spoken
If only he weren't a straight guy with a bf. God damn, what I would do to be his waifu.
>>24977976
I always get crushes on straight men with boyfriends too. If only they liked men...
>>24977948
>attract a wife with money and gifts
Isn't worth it, nigger. You will lose your freedom and your money both during the marriage and after the divorce.
True love between non blood relatives doesn't exist. Get that shit out of your mind.
>>24977976
>If only he weren't a straight guy with a bf
anonplease
My college recently called the cops to search my dorm because my floormates thought I was going all unibomber.
I am just a shy guy with long hair and social anxiety who recently got into electronics to try to escape from his loneliness. Seems no matter what I do they will always view me as some sort of monster.
>tfw dead lighter
>>24977944
Moderate liberals are alright, but straight up libtards and far leftists are the most insufferable cunts imaginable. They're basically the cool kids and bullies in high school after they grew up.
>>24977490
just do it you vagine
>family basically told me not to show my face at christmas dinner and not to spend any time with them during the holiday, and to stay in my room
feelsbadman
>Starting to develop crush on internetfriend who i've known for nearly 3 years who's gender im not even 100% sure of
I really dont know what to do with the second one, but itll probably work out if i get it out of my system here and never think about it again.
>>24978024
cut your hair fagtron
>>24978105
Lain is perfect you miserable shitfuck.
I met a girl on here and I really like her. Can a long distance relationship really work? I'm really committed to having this work but I just dont know what the fuck I'm doing. We dont like the exact same shit but I think that shes a good person thats worth the struggle. I dont know what exactly I'm feeling.
>>24978182
No. Long distance relationships rarely work anyways with 2 stable people.
What makes you think they will work with 2 unstable ones?
>>24978182
>I met a girl on here and I really like her
>Can a long distance relationship really work?
You're so pure and innocent.
>>24978105
I have a really big forehead. Not eggman big, but still embarassing. Plus I have had fairly long hair since I was around 10 due to an embarassing nickname.
I cracked my head open and had a large scar. Combined with wearing pretty large glasses, and everybody called me Harry Potter.
>>24974861
I fucking hate this website and almost every person on here. No one knows how the real world is or how to act. Aspie fucks just say how smart they are and yell to their mothers for tater tots and yell at them for being a bitch. I want every NEET to be punished and kicked out of their parents homes. They disgust me until no end. Everyone complaining about women then complaining about how they never get laid. Its just infuriating that this site could have been something great. It had potential. But it just immediately went to shit.
i'm not gay but i want to try on girls' panties
is that weird
>Meet a girl in class
>Shy cute-ish tall as I am
>She seems interested in me
>Asks me to lunch once
>Go, but nothing comes of it
>Don't do anything about it and a year passes and we don't have any classes together
>Meet other girl and have a weird 'relationship' for a year
>Seriously think I'm going to marry this girl even though it's going nowhere
>We break up because she was suicidal and caused so much drama
>Time passes
>Randomly meet first girl to study and ask her out
>We go out
>Still not completely over my oneitis
>She seems to like me, is calm and nice, and is the ideal waifu other than her looks which are not the greatest but I'm not that great either
>She's even weird as fuck which I like, like really quiet and calm, no dramatic outbursts
>We're on the same page politically
>The passion isn't there despite everything
>I just want to be in love again
>>24978275
You spend too much time thinking about vagina friend. Your desire to try on panties is a result of your subconscious desire to have every inch of your body near a vagina.
t. Freud's ghost
>>24978260
whoa there friend, it seems you need to head
>>>/out/
>>24978260
That's something that continues to draw me back to this website again and again.
I think that--if it hasn't been taken down by then--I'll be using this when I'm 30, 40 years old, or at the very least checking in on it.
Is anyone here familiar with that weird visual effect when your real giddy coming up on acid? like when the world kinda just ebs and flows like its breathing? If I just stare blankly, at any fkn given moment - that shit starts happening to me...
Ive only had like 3 tabs of acid in my whole life wtf halp
>>24978073
How do you not know someone's gender?
I dropped out two years ago, out of anxiety I cut ties with everyone from school. Life's been pretty poopy after that I was suicidal a good year after that, self harmed too that's a fucking mistake these scars are here forever fuuuuuuug
Been back on my feet for awhile but it's getting bad again. I also take xanax to help/forget but that's hardly a healthy habit
my dream gf
>taller than me (i'm 5'10")
>dominant but in a gentler way, not in a ball busting way
>romantic and intimate
>possibly a little chubby
>likes to tease/bully about my height
>has something going on that she's ashamed of so we can help repair each other
>modest in the way she carries herself
>comfortable and confident in herself
>has some kind of creative interest passion
>likes to travel, explore, discover
freud would have a field day with this shit
lmao fucking faggots hope you get run over by a truck you fucking beta faggots time for some social darwinism
>>24976058
Same here. Semester is almost over and i know the names of about 5 people and thats it.
>tfw everyone around me is succeeding, and it's only making me feel worse about my inability to do so.
The people I know are doing genuinely great things, and I can't even pass the easiest courses. I just want to find some success in my life, but I know I'll never achieve it.
>>24975243
see
>>24977449
to be honest. Gosh.
>Fallen in love with person in Norway
>I live in America
I'll figure it out
>tfw the family dog died the day I went NEET
It's like a metaphor for my fucking soul.
EYYYYYYYYYY
EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
N Y A N N E R S
I AIN'T EDITING THAT SHIT DOWN TO 10 PAGES FUCK OIF
tfw no sex drive at all.
not even sure if its a blessing or a curse.
>>24980569
two days ago i edged for three hours to youtube videos of underage girls doing gymnastics and ended up fapping to a doujin about gigantic lolis drowning a civilization of frog men in their acid piss
today my balls hurt and my whole room smells like sweat
blessing
>>24977271
>Kissless
>Fingerbanged
>Girlfriend
Something isnt adding up here normie.
>>24980613
>This entire post
i'm afraid anon
>>24980637
It was a unique relationship. Girlfriend is probably inaccurate, I guess "fling" is a better word?
>>24980613
that sounds pretty fucked up, even for robot standards.. but im not one to judge.
Ive not once in my life felt and romantic feelings for anyone and never had anyone had such feelings for me.
I'm a virgin but all my friends thinks I'm not so it doesnt matter to me.
considering I prefer to be alone, I guess it is a blessing
Can't get friends as kid? No problem. I got my imaginary friends, the whole goddamn Digimon 1 cast.
Can't get a girlfriend and turning insane? Fight fire with fire. I made a tulpa to contain my developing schizo and provide me with company. Been eight years since and it worked out very well.
Then I realize I have no future. I can't find an imaginary future.
i don't know what she sees in me
she keeps calling me handsome and cute, even though I know I'm not
>tfw bored with life
What's a NEET to do?
>>24980695
Story of my life, I cant see why anyone would want to date me or even hang out with me
People laugh whenever I say stuff. I don't try to make jokes. And it isn't a pity laugh or a "we're laughing at you" laugh, it's a legitimate laugh like I'm telling a joke. I don't understand. It's really fucking with me. I've had this problem since like middle school.
>>24978042
>Tfw half full lighter and plenty of cigs
>>24980797
Normies laugh at anything. Just look at SNL.
>>24975709
Just do it. Naiahhw a
how do I meet non-stacies at university
>tfw everyone around me is social and connected to everyone else
>tfw always left out of everything
>tfw my "friends" barely talk to me
Everyone treats me like I'm stupid and I hate it but I've always loved feigning ignorance or innocence for comedic purposes where appropriate.
I'm just so done with being frightened
I wish Natasha liked me
I like the word filters because I can end my sentences by actually typing desu just because I think it's cute and it got post-ironically acceptable or whatever
I'll never get a girlfriend because I have nothing interesting to say. No hobbies, no cool interests, no recommendations, no advice, no stories, nothing. I'm a listener. I just listen. It's creepy. Nobody likes a one sided conversation.
Actually this feel is more frustrating to me than what I posted earlier I tend to forget things easily even without obvious distractions but I know I don't have adhd I'm 200 pounds and that wouldn't make sense to be sedentary and have adhd it's probably just some disease doctors made up anyway to dump ritalin on incompetent parents
My mate asked me if I'm going to celebrate my birthday. He doesn't know it, but he's my only friend. And even then I have only spoken to him once since summer. All I want to do is disappear from reality and just hit the gym. It's the only thing keeping me from offing myself.
Im attracted to a 14 years old girl and im really fighting against it
I don't hate niggers, I'm just scared I'll offend them.
>>24976767
He's not ignoring you, you're just less interesting due to your lack of vagina.
>>24975657
You're not alone in feeling this way. Seems to me like the only way would be to find a "mirror": someone else who's also a "fixer-upper". Though if they're anything like me, finding them outside of their house would be pretty hard.
>>24975869
What else is there?
>Tfw you start convincing yourself that there's no point toa girlfriend because you don't even go out with normal friends so why bother and you can't even get the girl anyway.
Have a final in an hour that I haven't studied for. Not a hard class, but still concerned...
>tfw feel so fucking shitty i'm unironically listening to shitty emo bands from 2005.
just fucking end my shit f4m.
>>24976072
Damn dude
>>24981742
i do this all the time...i-is that bad?
>get drunk
>[desire to email girls I was close with in the past to apologize for being an autistic cringey motherfucker and saying lots of embarrassing things or doing awkward actions intensifies]
If it means anything, some of us do become self-aware and realize how REPULSIVE our past selves were. ;_;
I'm such a fat fuck.
I lose 60 lbs and have gained 30 back as I am beyond depressed.
I have zero joy in my life besides eating. If I don't eat, I may as well be dead.
So here I am trying to lose the weight fast, but I can't do it. I don't eat some days, but then I binge. I just can't take it anons. If I try to go completely without food I feel incredibly suicidal. Two times I've put a loaded shotgun to my head. My life is so painful and there is so little joy that eating has become that important.
What do?
>>24981757
no, no, anon. I don't just mean regular shit.
I mean full-on cringecore shit. But I love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4rm9xnyVec
Hey does anyone want to hear my totally normie story of normieness?
Probably not
>like girl
>have a few stuttery conversations with her
>too scared to ask her out or anything
>today is the last day of the semester
>only have about 30 seconds to speak to her after our class ends before she reaches her car
>too autistic to come up with a way to make her stop walking in that time
>too autistic to segue the conversation into me asking for her number
>too autistic to do anything other than stutter basic responses and get flustered when I talk to her
>tfw today is my last chance and I will probably fail and never see her again and regret it for the rest of my life
>didn't have a chance to get a haircut this week between wageslavery and finals week
>desperately need one
>tfw walking around with floofy retard hair everywhere
Girl I like in work fucked my friend, they asked if it bothered me and I said no.
I lied
Alright, someone give advice
Let's assume you and a girl like each other, how do you make your move?
I don't mean how do you ask her out, I mean what do you do before you lean in and kiss her?
>tfw gf
>tfw not ugly
>tfw not a loser
>>24975793
Everyone is faking abs lying so don't worry about it.
>>24974861
>tfw no Arabian nights
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60kGmtARU6A
>>24981766
doing that would be even more autistic tho m8
just move on and keep gettin dubs
>>24981864
perfect situation man
just sack up for a minute and be direct about it "Hey, I think you're pretty cool. We should hang out some time, can I get you're number?"
and then even if she says no then you never have to see her again.
Same thing happened to me last year, we only went on one date and it turned out I didn't like her much, but I would have regretted it forever if I didn't go for it
>My entire self worth is based on my ability to make music
>Industry is filled with shitty bands
>I have no clue if the songs I write are any good
>probably a 0.001% chance I'll make it in the music industry
>Bad grades and lack of motivation towards anything except guitar
>Have no other options for my future
>Rock music is long dead
>No other useful skills
>Want to learn how to sing but cant sing for shit
>If I can't make music for a living I'll probably just kill myself
the world has so much evil in it. Everybody, including me, is a bad person. Some are just not as bad as the others.
someone respond to me please i need someone to smack some sense into me
I started off by using poppyseed tea. I recently found oxy and started popping them like candy. I've basically been high on opiates for the past three days and I know it's fucking bad for me but the comforting feeling is so nice. makes me feel like everythings okay. i smoke cigarttes too and i jut see how i'm so fucking self destructive. i just want to be happy and i only really have one real friend and the drugs take the pain of loneliness away, but only for a little while, it's a true painkiller because it kills my emotional pain too, it's a warm blaket on a snow day off from school. it comforts me
but it will only end up strangling me in the end
>>24982214
Probably. A friend said it was a bad idea too. Oh me. Thanks for keeping me in check, robro.
>>24982273
where'd you find oxy?
>>24977341
Nawh, well, wish and hope things get better for you.
Remember to keep on striving for the warmth and closure of heart.
There's plenty of sparks that will ignite these comforting flames.
>tfw stayed up till 3 am crying because I'm pathetic
>tfw I admitted to having a waifu
>tfw I hug my pillow thinking it's my waifu
>tfw I probably failed an exam
Rant incoming:
WHY IN THE HOLY FUCK DOES THE TEACHER HAVE HIS EXAM SET UP IN THE GAYEST WAY POSSIBLE.
WE GOT TO ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS IN ADVANCE WHICH IS FINE.
BUT WE GO IN AND HE ROLLS A FUCKING DICE.
FUCKING DICE FUCKING REEEEEE.
FUCK DICE AND RNG.
OF COURSE THE NUMBER THE DICE LANDS ON LANDS ON MY WEAKEST QUESTION.
HAVE TO TURN IN A HALF ASSED ANSWER BECAUSE I WAS SICK THE DAY HE WENT OVER THE ECONOMIC, SOCIAL, AND POLITICAL RAMIFICATIONS OF THE PARIS ATTACKS.
HE WOULDN'T REPEAT THEM TO ME EVEN WHEN I WENT OFFICE HOURS.
FUCK COLLEGE
FUCK PARIS
FUCK THE REFUGEES
FUCK THIS GAY EARTH
HOLY SHIT I'M ABOUT TO CHO
>I go to Tech
I almost got my oneitis then I somehow fucked it all up. She hates me now.
The worst part is I don't even know what I did wrong.
>>24982273
Seek a professional, or otherwise talk to someone IRL; I suspect this will otherwise be your end.
>>24982407
in a locked drawer at a deceased relative's home
>>24982273
>>24982909
What this anon said. You arent gonna get off that shit by yourself, and you're going to fucking die if you keep it up. Maybe you care, maybe you dont. But you cared enough to say something, even if it was on a tibetan finger painting blog.
Just had an anxiety attack shit was bad cried in front of my boss then I went home... I usually have these daily but I guess today my mind could not take it. Fuck being schizo affective the big bag mental health problems will be the end of me.
>>24975844
That's like saying "I want to learn to talk but I'm stupid". Like language, math requires constant use in order to learn it.
>>24978441
shit taste senpai
>started working out
>stopped playing videogames
>started drawing and studying a language regularly
>had gf
>had friends
>still feel a gaping void inside me
>broke it off with gf who turned out to be a sjw
>realized friends never gave a fuck about me and just like me as entertainment
>drawing just to chase the high of a good piece which rarely comes, if ever
>drinking is the only brief comfort i have
I thought becoming a normie was supposed to make it better. The fuck?
>>24982273
I used to live with a guy who was in deep with Oxys and I saw his life fall apart from being a Navy officer in training to a good for nothing relapsing junkie liar. It was fun escapism until it wasn't anymore. I thankfully stopped before true physical dependency set in, by convincing myself of how sad it was that I was happier on chemicals than I could ever be sober, and how that would ultimately worsen my depression. Please consider doing the same, or seek help.
I need to sex
I need to future
I need to hope
I need to have plan
I need to redeem myself
>>24983809
> you get all those
> you still feel same way
die
>Reading about some sort of sexually abusive girlfriend who went psycho
>Reading her texts she sent him
>"You're perfect" "I want you so bad"
>tfw you will never get these types of messages
>be me
>depressed af
>skip half the classes at uni because can't force myself to do anything
>that little money that i earn by translating articles for a weed related magazine (lel) i spend on weed (double lel)
>look like a literal manchild, everyone tells me that i look 16 at most when i'm actually 20
i'm having suicidal thoughts again, too bad they won't come true because i don't want my mother to be sad, she's suffered enough
>>24983828
I don't want to die senpai
lol at all of these responses saying something along the lines of "social anxiety".
Is it really that hard to just go out and talk to people. You don't have to do anything special, just be yourself.
>Didn't get into my first choice college
>All my backups are party schools that everyone can get into
>Don't even care about my HS grades anymore
>Absolutely 0 motivation
>Would probably just drop out and learn to weld if not for my parents
>>24983939
Oh man, I feel for you. I wish I had any authority to say something to you, but I was just accepted to my first choice school.
What was your first choice?
>>24983957
Duke university, it was a long shot but I still might have had a decent chance if not for the fact they had more applicants than ever this year.
Looks like I'm headed to ECU now.
>>24983937
>just be yourself
worst b8 imaginable, family lad.
>>24983782
Everyone lies to themselves until reality hits them.
i want to start taking antidepressants tell me why i should or shouldn't do it.
>tfw no gentle dominant gf
I cant fucking take it
I dont wanna die
I dont wanna lose existence
The very fact that there is an end to the universe and everything hurts my fucking mind augh
All this cynical existensialism is fucking me up
>>24983939
fuck those schools that are hard to get into.
At any party school you will be able to find a click of people like you... trust me
Those party schools are huge, and while they have a large normie party population, they will have a decent non-party population too.
Also party schools aren't always even bad schools desu. I here Ohio University has a great Classics department, which you wouldn't expect
>>24984142
It only gets betterif you ignore it, anon
>>24984142
>I dont wanna die
holy fucking shit stop whining you are having it better then probably most of the world.
>>24975536
I would rather be depressed and kill myself than seek help from that place 2bh pham
>let my little brother use my computer
>look at history later
>"what do to if the girl you like has a boyfriend"
not even 12 year olds are safe from normie scum
>On track for a 3.8 GPA this semester
>Still hate myself
>Still feel worthless
Does it ever get better?
Applied for the lowest position possible.
I just want a job...
>assume that I am autistic
>afraid to talk to people because they'll notice my autism
>>24981864
I knew a guy like that. she hated him and had a boyfriend but he would follow her to her car. Always kept her pepper spray in her purse just in case.
>heard from one of his friends he was thinking about asking her out
>she laughed
>>24974861
>Meet the woman of my dreams
>She says she loves me.
>She's perfect
>Wait... She's not.
>In fact, her best friend is also her ex.
She's still in love with him. That piece of shit cheated on her and she's still in love with him. He could fuck her whenever he wants.
She's almost perfect, guys. Almost perfect. I wanna kill myself.
>starting a project in uni
>professor tells us to find a partner to work with
>friend gives me a nod, I start to walk over to him
>as I'm walking, a qt asks me if I wanna work together
>been trying to get to know her, holy shit this is a perfect opportunity
>but I already said yes to my friend, and I'm a man of my word
>tell her I'd like to, but I'm already working with someone
>she says "alright" and walks away
>3 weeks later
>haven't said a word to each other since
>still playing those 3 sentences in my head over and over again
might honestly kill myself
>>24976251
>>24976662
>>24976691
>>24976776
>>24976826
I'm actually going to start using it in January. Any tips as to how to deal with the side effects or general things I should and should not do while on it?
>>24975243
Speak English fag
>>24975657
I feel like I'm beyond the point where I can get a girlfriend. I'm 21, most people my age had one or more relationships and already expect a partner with experience. What am I even supposed to do with a grill if I got one? I have no idea.
>I keep a folder of my goals
>my goal president, my goal house, my goal relationship
>they're just pictures
>today I am no closer to achieving these goals than yesterday
There is nobody to blame but myself. Pic related is my goal relationship. Something about it makes me happy, it makes me content. But also, to a lesser extent, makes me sad.
>a longing feeling fills me
>I spend my time contemplating rather than preparing
>it feels as though I'm staring into space and watching the stars get further and further away, and as I do I pick my favorites
>I watch my favorites go farther and farther away
>tfw living a complete lie
>I show to the world a joyful sarcastic persona
>I am terribly depressed
>feel like trash
>only strangers on the internet know this
>>24984473
You should've approached her after class ended, apologized, and asked her to hang out.
>tfw stories like these feel like story problems on a math test
>>24984173
I honestly can't say if you did the right thing or not, anon. At least you really are an honest person.
>>24984568
im exactly the same but i came to the conclusion that everyone is like that but they either lie to themselves or just really good at hiding it.
>>24974861
Finished an exam like a month ago which will determine how the next few years of my life turn out. I feel like I did well enough to not even worry. I feel like I nailed it. But as always there is a deep seated fear that what I did wasn't good enough. Its just a reminder that throughout my entire life my confidence has been shut down so many times that whenever I feel confident, my inner trepidation will continue to drag me down.
>>24982495
>>tfw I admitted to having a waifu
>>tfw I hug my pillow thinking it's my waifu
Anon don't do this to me. I keep thinking of her more and more and it's killing me because it kills the innocence of her animoo. And to think I used to laugh at waifu faggotry.
>>24984681
Apparentely I am too. There is only one person who knows my true depressed self because I know I can trust her. Came out like a shock
Honestly I think I got a raw deal compared to everyone else. At least if anything they are able to truly bond with other fellow humans. I have no idea how it is to have a best friend you do everything with. Or a gf that will love me
My eating patterns are all jacked up
>don't ever eat breakfast
>only eat lunch if it's there for free (which is rarely)
>beginning to eat less and less in the evenings
>usually just a plate of food and a desert
This can't be good for me, right? I'm still relatively fat for my size (I'd be obese as a woman/short person) so it's not like I'm anorexic or something.
>>24977731
>tfw nfl team sucks so bad that they were blown out by the browns
>tfw constant banter by raider fans about how bad my team is
>tfw qb is fucking terrible
>tfw the line is the worst
>tfw seakeks are looking good
>tfw going to be divisional doormat for another 10 years
I'm going to watch the game next week with comically low expectations.
>>24984756
Anon a lot of us have that feel. It feels so fucking terrible having all this shit you just want to come out with but you can't because nobody would care/nobody is even there.
Some people have sexual secrets, or criminal secrets but it's really not like that at all.
>>24984825
Might as well ride the wave of loss of appetite and go for a few runs, so you can shed those extra pounds without ending up as a skinny fat
>>24984880
It's difficult. I've got both university and a shitty McJob (family nepotism) so by the time I get home I'm tired as fuck.
The few times I've had money to buy lunch I go to my local shop, look at the sandwiches and shit on display and just get disgusted by the amount of absolute rubbish in them.
I just don't understand why I am still fat when I see skinny fucks all around me eating KFC, chocolate and drinking energy drinks. They can't do THAT much exercise, right?
My name has been misspelled since I started school by two letters. All my certificates of achievements in education are not the one that match my passport or driving license.
Wat do?
Shall I get a deed poll so when I apply for a job it doesn't look suspicious, not that I have anything to hide.
>>24984867
>tfw browns fan
that was the only shimmer of happiness i've had in months.
>>24984619
>You should've approached her
good one brah
>>24976127
It's okay. I feel you.
I was homeless for a while and now I threw away my pride to be neet.
![[dr grant intensifies].gif](https://i.imgur.com/pxtmCIO.gif "[dr grant intensifies].gif")
>>24984867
>tfw ninersfag
The raidersfags might be right. Told me they were happy when Al Davis died because then they could start having 'good' drafts. We NEED to get rid of York and Baalke.
>>24974861
>social anxiety
>really like talking to people but I have awful social skills
>having friends is the only thing that ever will make me happy
>fantasize about being in high school again and having a small circle of social reject friends, who I can easily talk to and have fun around
>tfw in real life I annoy the living shit out of everyone
>get extremely clingy to anyone who gives me affection or kindness
>too scared to talk to anyone in fear of bothering them
It doesn't get better. It's been so fucking lonely for years. It just doesn't get better at all.
>drinking alone
>want take out
>decide to walk instead of order
>inside chinese
>qt walks in
>just me and her there
>beer has granted me courage
>talk with her
>make her laugh
>my order is ready
>she says she hopes she sees me around
>me too
>forget to trade numbers
>wake up tomorrow
>overcome with anxiety
>confidence was alcohol fuelled
>stay inside for a week terrified I'll bump into her
>tfw alcohol is the key to happiness
How do I become drunk me when I'm sober me?
>>24984142
Death isn't scary. It doesn't even matter, once you're dead, it'll be so relieving.
Pretty long story, but I want to share it even if it's not going to be read by anyone. It happened last week, so everything's fresh in my mind, and I need a way to get this shit out of my system.
>go outside very rarely, much less to hang out or anything, except with my brother
>decide to walk around town 4 days ago because I'm feeling pretty bad about not managing to get in college next year
>chilling out at a public spot in a big town where people usually get together and smoke weed, drink and generally just hang out with friends or strangers
>smoke less than half a joint (one of my first times) but get a nice feeling
>I'm then sitting at a bench right besides a group of five friends that were there at the time
>group is composed of four guys and a girl
>one of them is pretty bad, feeling nauseous and whatnot
>I offer some water, as I noticed they didn't have any with them
>they gladly accept and thank me thoroughly for helping their friend
>I casually shrug it off and say it was my pleasure, which is true
>start feeling really great, just hanging out there, enjoying the soft breeze and the amazing view of the cityscape that place offers
>look at the group of friends again; the sick guy is laying on the bench while the girl is by his side and the other guys are standing
>they are talking about some relationship problems one of them is having, but I try not to pry too much
>all of a sudden, the girl turns to me and thanks me again in a heartfelt manner
>again I say it was no problem, and then proceed to ask if he is feeling better, to which they answer positively
>I then notice that one of them is wearing a Star Wars T-shirt, so I start to talk with him about movies and it turns out he actually studies cinematography, which I find interesting
>I notice they are getting ready to go, so I ask if they're taking the subway, which they were, so I ask if I could tag along and they welcome me
>ask everyone's name and start walking with them to the crosswalk
>>24985746
>I'm somewhat stoned, so I feel rapturous seeing that I'm among people I just met and we're all enjoying the night in the city
>the girl asks where my name came from, since it's a pretty curious (shit) name
>I tell the story and her and the other guy that was nearby at the time laugh about it in a casual manner, far from mocking me for it
>she then proceeds to tell me her name's story, which led her to share some pretty personal stuff about her family to me
>I then think to myself that I'm getting integrated to the group and possibly finding at that moment a group of friends to fit into and hang out with
>we go use the bathroom, share a few cigarettes and then proceed to go to the subway station
>there we talk a bit about everything and whatnot
>everything is pretty nice and comfy
>we reach the station where I and the girl had to drop off, so I say goodbye to all of them except her
>as we disembark on that station I notice we're going separate ways there, so we also say our goodbyes there
>before we actually start walking away I ask for her full name, so I can find everyone on memebook later on
>she then says that she will look for mine, since it's virtually impossible to find anyone with the same name (yes, it's that shit)
>I concur and we exchange the usual kiss on the cheek and part ways
>go back home feeling good and reflecting upon all the possibilities life can and will eventually offer, which feels very good as I'm on the tail end of the high I got earlier
>one day passes
>two days pass
>three days pass
>fourth day and still no memebook friend request
>of course, why did I think it would go any different?
>insecurities hit me like never before
>she probably evaded me and probably thinks I'm a disgusting being
>the other guys probably think the same
>tfw
>mind fucked me up so bad that i almost said something that resualted in my videos games/computers getting taken away so normies would hover them over me head to make me do stuff and they would give them back slowly each time i improved myself like a normie [as of getting skills to move out]
>tfw i get stuck trying to talk and have to retry talking about what i was gunna say all over again
>tfw all i do is make escuses for myself
>>24984825
Same desu. I force myself to eat now because my mummy won't let me not eat senpai.
>>24983937
Tried it. It doesn't work at all. People just think i'm annoying and overly emotional.
>>24985204
>How do I become drunk me when I'm sober me?
You don't
What you do do is drink more
>>24985948
>tfw need skills to move out
>tfw have no skills butshitposting
i am a shitposter! if you try to tell me to stop - i will only shitpost more
