Who else /klepto/ here? Just snagged all this like an hour ago. Shoplifting is the perfect hobby for robots 2bh.
>>24974665
are you sure you're a kleptomaniac and not just an alcoholic?
>gets rubbing alcohol and shit tier rum
if you're going to steal, at least steal the good shit
>>24974707
That's in a locked glass case tho
>>24974665
hey OP lemme give you advice - its SUPER easy to steal shit from stores like Trader Joes
I kinda grew out of the shoplifting hobby tho desu i mean it was exhilarating but a little too much for me
>>24974727
the really expensive stuff yeah, but even on the regular shelf you can do much better than Captain Morgan
Isnt everyting loaded with rfid chips now?
I only shoplift during winter honestly.
Biggest theft was 100 dollar gaming mouse.
Usually I steal cheap things like soft drinks and snacks, or robutussin for them dank trips.
>>24974841
I doubt that, Trader Joes (or at least the ones around here) has wide open spaces, lots of cameras, and big crowds. everyone sees everything you grab
>>24974707
>calling Tito's rubbing alcohol
>>24974875
Usually only boxed products will have a small plastic tag that sets off the alarm near entrances.
You wont find it typically on anything cheap or bottles or anything. And you can always find and peel them off.
>>24974910
Crowded places are the best. You can almost guarentee that no one is gonna be watching you on security cameras because there are so many people.
>>24974938
Bitch please, I cant even walk out of walmart with shit I payed for without the door screaming at me.
Go be a nigger somewhere else
>>24974910
>wide open spaces, lots of cameras, and big crowds
what the fuck?
my trader joes are all semi cramped inside, way less open compared to say walmart
I have never been able to lift alcohol. How
>>24974665
I literally look like a faggot prince charming, I coud shoplift absolutely anywhere and noneone would ever suspect me. To bad a friend of mine owns a shop and is always financialy struggling, having a moral compass suck, i want free stuff.
>>24974665
Tito's and drakkar noir are good choices.
But you are poor as shit to be stealing them
>>24974704
>>24974707
mfw I want to get in on this thread because it's relevant to my life but the faggots are already here shitposting.
>>24974910
Terrible advice, but what would you expect. Security camera's mean fuck all unless they have already caught you and just using it as evidence. And crowds are perfect.
>>24974993
Great, another tripkek. Thanks for your valuable input faggot.
>>24974707
I wish I could but anything nicer than that had security devices on them. I mean captain Morgan's is at least tasty and drinkable. Better than bottom shelf
>>24975052
Really depends on the location you're in. Many states require it to be behind the counter, and some require it to be sold in state run liquor stores. But there are states where it's sold right in the aisle next to the beer, and in those states, I am happy.
>>24974841
The trader joes by my place has no security at all, but all the alcohol is right next to the managers office so there are like 3 people always watching it. Seems risky. However I do always steal expensive food like nice cheese or beef jerky
>>24975250
I once lifted more than $100 of gum over a few weeks in middle school. I thought it was cool. I've always wanted to do more
>>24975225
>drinking hard liquor for the taste
Why
>>24974707
samson why don't you fuck right off
>>24974993
Do you live in the ghetto? I have a wal Mart in my small town and there is one security guard who leaves at 8pm. And regular employees legally cannot stop shoplifters easy as FUCK to steal anything. Only worried they will get me and my car on camera tb,h but that's pretty unlikely
>>24975292
>never had good liquor
>>24975322
define "good"
>>24975292
Titos is pure ethanol, so it has no taste and does not give you as bad of hangovers as other alcohol. And a good spiced rum cocktail is quite tasty in my opinion
>>24975289
You should, I did a little of that stuff in middle school too, but about a year ago I fell on very hard times and I learned to shoplift well, and out of necessity. I survived solely on stealing, thrived even. Free unlimited alcohol, food, clothing, everything you need. I lost the need to have money, but it is risky. I don't do all that now, but I do occasionally shoplift just cause. I recommend it. It builds confidence, raises your bluff skill as well as slight of hand, and you get cool stuff. Try it out mayne, let me know if you need advice.
>>24975380
any advice on anything
>>24975370
Well I mean personally I like the taste of pure ethanol its just the other flavors added in make it gross and the more I drink it the grosser it gets
>>24974665
Where's you get it from OP ? Target? most places have security caps on the bottle
>>24975370
>and does not give you as bad of hangovers as other alcohol
You're fucking retarded
>>24975380
What do you whear? where do you hide it? Do you use a hidden pocket on the back?
>>24974665
Try that shit at Walmart, I'll be the first to beat your ass to a bloody mess. And I'm only a cashier.
>>24975447
Nope it's true, poorly made alcohols contain congeners like methanol and acetone which give you terrible hangovers. Which is why you can go blind from drinking moonshine. Titos on the other hand is as pure as you can get, so it has only ethanol. It still gives you hangovers but not as bad. I'm not kidding, google it.
>>24975496
Please do, I would sue your ass for ten million and easily win. It is illegal and against store policy for regular employees to physically stop shoplifters.
>>24975422
I'm aware that still using the fedora meme is a bit outdated, but I don't even know what else to say about you right now.
>>24975409
Here's an easy one to get you started and boost your confidence. Find a walmart location that doesn't check receipts at the door, and if you cant, find one that does but go there before 11 AM (approximately), that's when security usually comes on. Bring a reusable shopping bag, the kind you can but for a buck or so at health food stores. Walk around the store and put anything you wan't in it, this is not concealment because you are just shopping using your own bag made just for that purpose. Old ladies do it constanty. Do not hesitate to put items in the bag in front of employees, just act confident. With the bag full stroll out the front door. Walmart's loss prevention policy prohibits non-loss prevention employees from approaching you at all, and there's no security there. But don't even worry about that, because the fact of the matter is nobody will even notice, I guarantee it. If you get nerves walking out the door, try talking on the phone as you walk it, it distracts you and makes you look confident and busy. I've done this very thing hundreds if not over a thousand times and never been caught. Cheers!
>>24975496
Walmart always has the most retarded wagies, kek.
This anon's gonna get stabbed to death by a methhead.
I used to steal boxes of Warhammer models and paint pots. Stole snacks, lighters, and stuff from gas stations before too. I'm not klepto, I have no overwhelming desire to steal. I just did it for the rush and the results. Plus I'd be too chicken to steal a big ticket item like jewelry or things locked in a case, or at least I don't have the confidence in my ability.
![cd78868ce9015a855dbf006fca631b002e73634c_full[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/pc8jA1U.jpg "cd78868ce9015a855dbf006fca631b002e73634c_full[1].jpg")
>>24975591
>liking straight hard liqueurI can do it too
>>24975478
See >>24975591
>>24975496
Hahaha also, see >>24975591
Pathetic, enjoy you getting to 86 me, then I can proceed to sue walmart for millions for being assaulted by an employee. Obviously that's after you are jailed and fired.
>>24975586
Respect desu
>>24975659
I don't like liquor straight, I mix it and I'm not picky.
Also, just so you know retard, liqueur is different than liquor. They are different things. But good meme arrow anyway.
>>24975659
Epic post xD. >>24975591
This is very true. Once I even had the alarm go off and I just kept walking and didn't flinch. Confidence is key. Also Im white and look like a 12 year old boy so that helps.
>>24975732
I look the same, and that's happened to me because for the longest time I didn't realize magic cards all had sensors. It's been a long learning curve for me, but just remember, all walmart employees are less perceptive than you probably imagine.
>>24975719
yeah well thats what firefox wanted it to be
>>24975759
Yeah mine was much worse. I was walking out with some 200$ timberland boots that had a secret security tag. The alarm went off and I just kept walking. However I used the store bathroom and dropped my key so I had to go back in to find it. Can't believe I wasn't arrested 2bh. Wagies are pretty retarded though
>>24975778
Sure. But it doesn't auto correct, it gives recommendations on spelling. And when you're all over this thread trying to prove your superior taste in alcohol it doesn't bode well because everyone who isn't currently 15 knows the difference. Get yourself a new trip if you're going to make a fool of yourself in every thread, better off starting over.
>>24975955
>superior taste in alcohol
I was literally just saying hard liquor by itself doesn't seem like something anybody who wasn't a raging alcoholic would enjoy
How did you do it? Backpack? What kind of store was it? Where are the safety pins?
>>24976003
>>24974704
>>24975353
>>24975422
In the last one you're literally getting into the chemistry of alcohol
>>24976041
nah if I wanted to get into the chemistry I would talk about how much better ethyl alcohol is compared to methyl alcohol or isopropyl alcohol
propyl alcohol is fine thu
>>24975496
I steal from Walmart all the time. I stole a large fan for only the price of some packing tape.
As a security guard, nice one.
Alu foil or is there no security there?
>>24976088
Haha here comes the high school chem. Uh oh. You know that people DO NOT drink methyl or isopropyl alcohol right?
I shopped lift when I was younger. I loved it for the rush but, had to stop doing it because, I was black. Worked in retail and learned every race stole but, blacks get caught more.
>>24976111
Oh yeah, adding to this post before I go to bed.
You guys know how Walmart does the price match thing? Edit the HTML of an item on your phone/tablet. Those idiots never check it.
>>24976207
Any inside tips?
>>24976277
das why I said ethyl is better than that
>>24976294
odd, at the walmart I worked at 5 years ago we specifically didn't accept online advertisements, and I always assumed this was the reason.
>>24976342
It's not an online advertisement. Edit the price on the Walmart website and say well this is the price online.
>>24976313
It's also better than drinking rat poison, doesn't make it relevant in the slightest.
>>24975560
i don't know why i'm still shocked when i read bullshit like this, like certain brands/types of alcohol have mystic powers
this brand is no different from any other commercially available brand of vodka. anything else you've heard is a marketing meme
>tfw used to be addicted to DXM and had a rotation of pharmacies I stole from both around where I live and where I go to school
Almost got caught a couple of times, which would have fucked me big time considering I live with my mom who I was hiding my drug use from. I stopped doing that shit, glad I got through it without having a theft put on my record.
>>24976516
Dxm is only a little less trashy than being a methhead
>>24976305
Look for fake cameras and wardrobes.
>>24976469
Well anonykun said
>In the last one you're literally getting into the chemistry of alcohol
so I got into teh chemestry
>wait outside walmart or wherever the fuck you want.
>check trash for receipts people throw away
>get lots
>go to other locations
>pick out most expensive item on list
>GO INSIDE AND GET A NEW ONE OFF THE SHELF
>go return it with "your" receipt.
>???
>cash money
You're welcome.
>>24976630
I remember posting about this a while ago.
I'm glad I'm not the only person to do this.
>>24976610
Dude it's only one person you're talking to. Every reply in this argument is me. Not that you would know because I'm not a HORRIBLE PIECE OF TRASH TRIPFAGGOT.
>>24976630
>>24976672
this is a good method but only do this to items bought regularly, because some stores (like walmart) will check to see if they sold any of that item on that date. It happened to me but you don't get in trouble they just wont accept it.
The best time to steal is right after or within the hour after the store opens. You can walk out with anything.
>>24976693
>implying there isn't that awkward moment when it might possibly be someone else
better safe than sorry :^)
>>24976717
>will check to see if they sold any of that item on that date
The items were bought on that date. There's literally a receipt for the item with the date and time it was purchased.
That looks like a good evening OP!
I personally enjoy the smell of the drakkar noir, and the tito's has given me some nice nights.
Cop a carton and kick off the night!
>>24974665
you understand that they slowly building up a profiel on you, right?
you may "get away" with it for months, but you'll get caught with a video compilation.
>>24976630
Doesn't the Walmart greeter usually sticker your items? Do you do this at night or carry an extra Walmart bag to put the new item in?
>>24974910
where do you live? trader joes is crammed into a tiny bodega in my hood.
>>24976550
I never said it was classy...
>>24976770
this is bullshit. I've been stealing from walmart for over 6 years now.
>ever risking the chance of being caught over something that's only worth less than $100
I used to have klepto back in my uni days.
I used to have a reusable bag in my shopping trolley that I would slip all the expensive meat and shellfish into while grocery shopping. You could simply walk out with it while paying for the bread and milk.
I also brought a very strong rare earth magnet from eBay for around $50. THEY can remove many magnetic security tags you find on high end clothing.
>>24976855
think about who works loss prevention at walmart versus trader joes.
also the competitive losses.
>>24976970
Not the anon but most Walmart employees don't give a shit. I've had people ask me what I want to pay because an item didn't ring up and wouldn't type in and they were too lazy to price check.
>>24977038
that's what i was saying fuckwad.
>>24976770
ex-walmart employee here
They do not give enough of a shit.
I had a coworker who was systematically stealing from the self-checkouts for almost a year, without being caught.
They suspected he was stealing, and thought they caught him, when they didn't.
They fired him without evidence, took it to court, and the store lost. He got a $2000 settlement because of it.
There was another employee who put in his two week notice, and got fired a week later for a $0.50 water bottle he "stole" two months prior. They didn't have any evidence because it didn't actually happen, and he also managed a $2000something settlement.
Walmart stores are very very poorly run.
>>24977038
I do this because you retards throw bitch fits when I check for the "actual" or "last price" of the item.
So for examp, if a pair of boots was clearances but went salvage, I would scan it and see the last price is some four digit number then your soccer mom, bitch fit throwing, fat ass being, pencil dick having, greasy ass would start wailing about how you're not paying that price. Nuh-uh, fuck you. But see I can't say fuck you. All I can do is ask what price you'll pay. You're a cunt, kill yourself.
////
All thieves deserve to be shot in the head by a cumcannon
