I need a cute girl to go on a suicidal journey with. Where do I start?
Ask Charles Manson
>>24954979
Why a cute girl? Why not an ugly one?
>>24955014
Because it's an important factor in the sequence of feeling strongly attracted to them. The events of doing what lovers do, holding each other in each others arms, feeling connected would go much more smoothly if primal urges are fulfilled to a level. We can fall in love and then say goodbye to the world, together.
>>24955065
Cute girls don't want to die
>>24955134
That isn't true. I got cosmetic surgery to be attractive. I still want to die.
>>24954979
I don't know if you'll get any replies OP but I'm drunk as shit and willing to give you a post
I've been mentally ill/depressed most of my life, when I was an edgy teen about 16 I decided my life was going to be shit no matter what I did, so I started planning to kill myself.
I was sullen and cynical, and didn't give a fuck about anything anymore, so I sort of felt 'confident' knowing that anything I did at this point wouldn't matter if I was going to kill myself soon anyway. Ended up in an emotional weird relationship with one of my friends ex girlfriends, she wasn't that good-looking or fit but she was attractive and we ended up having sex and having feelings for each other (remember, I was 16 at the time). She had a pretty shitty situation with her parents, who she felt were quite abusive towards her, she wanted to kill herself too so we decided to do the romantic thing and kill ourselves together. She even went as far as writing our names connected by a love-heart several thousand times until it spelled out 'Romeo & Juliet' across a hundred sheets of paper, large enough to cover her bedroom wall. The time was getting closer (we had a set a few months so we could write letters to our family members and try to get things arranged for our families to lose us) and we were both getting noticeably scared about going through with it.
Suddenly, our lives were different and we were changing as people, at that age, sometimes people need to grow up and have a perspective outside of their parents house to see what the world ahead holds. Lo and behold, we decided we weren't feeling the same about the suicide anymore and we called it off.
>>24955157
You're not cute. You probably have major maxillofacial issues that you tried to solve with a nosejob.
>>24955183
a little anti-climatic, but she eventually broke up with me claiming that i had sexually abused her. well there's something to be said about teenage romance i suppose. also it's been nearly 2 years since i actually attempted suicide (by slashing the wrist downwards) so I guess I ended up trying to die anyway
I guess what I'm trying to say OP is that I know how it feels to be so completely exhausted of any will to survive. I still get out of bed every day with no hope in my heart for the road ahead, hell, the only woman I ever fully trusted and wanted to spend the rest of my life with walked out on me a few months ago and I'm still picking up the pieces.. but it's the collection of experiences that have led me up to this point, and even if it wasn't always perfect, I am glad that I got to live my life this far without dying. Life is fucking shit, almost all the time, but something always walks into my life that manages to make me smile, to bring me one more reason to live just another day.
I'm sure you will meet a qt girl OP, and while you shouldn't ever lean on anyone as the reason you live, for a while they can remind you that life is worth experiencing for the small but incredibly happy moments that come by.
>>24955183
The feelings between you two will change over time though into something unfortunate.
I want to be fully loved and love someone fully before either one of us changes our mind.
Even if I get a great girl, in time, she won't be adequate. This has already happened. She'll change in that way too. It's fine. I don't mind. It's human nature. It's my nature and everyone elses.
Maybe there's something more than just my beliefs that'll manifest only when my inexperienced self "experiences" what you're saying, but I don't think so.
I'm fine. I'm not sad about it. I'm over it now. I don't care about trying to make a version of what I want. It's delusional to think that way. The "correct" thing to do is to grow up and pursue realistic things, have long term goals, be happy, and I don't want that.
I just want to feel it one more time. She can lie to me and let me just die. I'm fine with that. If just for a moment, I want to believe it'll all means something.
You could be right and your feelings reflect mine, but that doesn't change anything. I want an unrealistic romance and I'm aware it's not real. I don't want to prioritize romance, but I can't help it. It's fine.
Where do I find a cute girl to double suicide with?
>>24955429
True which is why I added >>24955262 this post to say she did break up with me little than a year later. I think most things just aren't meant to last with most people.
I don't want to sound like a normie, but it's true when people say you have to love yourself before you can truly love anybody else. I can tell you now the greatest happiness I've had is being in (what I thought was) a successful relationship with a woman I loved, but I could never fully give my heart and attention to her because of my own issues. She had to put up with periods of months long depressions, drug-use, my asocial behaviours and aggressive need to push people away. When she left me I realized that the only way I was ever going to have a companion I could be actually happy with is by learning to be happy myself.
I'm still on that process myself anon, I don't want to diminish your experience or ignore what you're saying. No, we may not be people who have long-term goals, who pursue realistic dreams, but who cares? I would like to believe happiness comes from within yourself, and that we are able to manufacture our own happiness through our actions. Along the way with time we will takes steps regardless to shape our future, some of them will be mistakes and will suck to overcome, but most, if not all efforts are rewarded in some way.
You seem to focus a lot on the fact that you need a cute girl in your life, you even made a thread suggesting that you need one to be able to kill yourself. Maybe you should take a step back and work on the problems that have gotten you to this point?
Can I ask specifically why do you feel you want to kill yourself?
I wish I knew. The first thing I think about when I wake up is suicide, homicide or a combination of both. I'm 20 years now, a NEET and doesn't have a single friend. Not that I want any. I'm too thinking about making a last journey, as long as my feet will carry me and then when I'm completely fucked up I'll just hang myself on the nearest oppurtunity.I never saw the ocean,although I'm only 100km away from it. It would be soooo fucking great to have a person that'll come with me to the end, but it looks like I'm gonna die alone.
>>24955701
I'm just over it. What I and others feel isn't real. We're playing with an idea and led to believe it's the truth. I had this idea that there was some intangible thing(love)[I know I'm a retard, no need to tell me] I was chasing and eventually I would eventually achieve it. I'd be good from there and anything would be achievable. I'd be at peace and I could pursue other things and be happy about it so long as I could share it with another. We're just replicating the cultural norm. Nothing wrong with that, it's just not for me. I want something that isn't real.
I've had strong feeling for others and as soon as they belong to me, I don't desire them. Figure I was still a kid and needed to do more growing up. Years later I'm financially independent, take care of myself, have an idea of my identity, and take another shot with dating. I date new girls, exes, people who I believe are great, and nothing. I feel like I can pretend and maybe this time I can believe my own lie, but I can't do it. I can tell I'm pretending. I should add I've been on the opposite spectrum of it. I see others repulsed and less attracted to me over time when I can't maintain my facade; when my nature leaks out and my pessimism and weakness shows, when I'm not as confident, outgoing, ambitious as I marketed myself out to be. That's fine. I'm over it.
I see a lot of others stay with their partners because it's the best can get; like their feelings are placed elsewhere. They've invested so much time and emotions into the opposite party and make meaning out of something that has none. "Yeah I know she's unattractive, stupid, and has no ambition BUT HER PERSONALITY IS GREAT". One of my deepest desires is that I'm absolutely wrong and I'll find an unattractive stupid girl and fall madly in love with her and I'll be "good".
This doesn't stop at romance. It's everything. It's fine. I'm no worse or better than everyone else.
>>24955885
I'll die with you anon. Maybe we can just talk and change like >>24955262 said.
>>24955134
This.
Cute girls will only claim that they are suicidal for attention.
>>24955958
Honestly OP, if that's the case I think that 95% of men have the same issue. I don't want to assume I'm just pretending to know what you're talking about but I have felt the same way my whole life. I can tell you that it's certainly a delusion to think that you would suddenly 'be happy' if you had an attractive gf, life doesn't really work like that.. as I said before, you really have to love yourself before you can truly love others. Eventually you will become accustomed to their presence, you will be numb to their words and sick of their shortcomings, and then you lose all desire for them. Why do you think so many young men choose to just have one night stands or short casual flings? Nobody wants to get into a relationship, develop strong feelings just to lose it all when you eventually break up. Those people are cowards. It is the risk of pain that should drive us. so we can experience deep emotional affection, so we can say to OURSELVES that we can experienced these feelings, that they were reciprocated.
You're not the only one that's 'pretending' in order to maintain image, I myself do so, in order to seem more outgoing, social, confident and such, only to go home on the weekend and binge on weed and video games in a dark room. But the problem is yourself OP, not being a cunt, just honest. The problem is within us, and we have not yet solved it. Happiness means something different to everyone, it is subjective only to our personal experiences. I myself am not well OP, I dream about death often, and I still find myself planning my suicide even when I'm busy at work, but given my experiences in the last 23 years I can safely say that it would be foolish to give up everything I have endured because >tfw no gf
>>24955978
I doubt talking will change anything.And even if, I'm a social trainwreck.I can't keep a conversation up for more than 2 minutes.That's why I thought if I found a soulmate or something,we would get along fine without much words.I'd imagine someone approaching me and stuff but guess what: We aren't livung in a manga.
>>24954979
last 3 volumes are shit
>>24956213
Look, I've lost the girl of my dreams in the last few months. I swear I can still smell her hair on my pillows and I still haven't thrown out any of her shampoos or other things she's left. I'm constantly surrounded by reminders of the most important person I've lost in my life. She was truly the only person that I met that really wanted to understand the true and honest me, and even then I felt the same level of dejection and loss of interest you have felt in our relationship. There are times when I wanted to leave her for no good reason at all, simply because I wasn't sure if I even cared about her anymore. It took losing her for me to realize that I didn't feel that way at all, it was the depression, the anxiety, the stress, the weed, the isolation and the desperate seeking of my own identity that led me down that path.
I pushed her away because of my issues, my mental illness, my problems. Now I am alone, with all the same problems, but no cute pretty thin gf cuddling beside me at night. If I could time travel back a year and put my fucking pants on and actually took a damn step to fixing my god-awful fucking life I probably wouldn't be considering my own suicide right now.
>>24954979
>>24955958
>all those memories coming back from reading punpun
i really thought they would be happy together in the end ;_;
honestly you should spoiler those pics and put a trigger warning in the title
>>24956298
>...and then he lived miserable ever after.
What, you didn't like the ending? Pretty realistic desu.
>>24956308
We are never going to have a relationship like this. We are going to be alone for the rest of our lives. We aren't living in a manga.
>>24956340
yea but thats why i need manga. to cheer me up and not to punch me in the face and kick me when im down
>>24954979
>Mfw after the optimistic last 1/4 of the manga Pun Pun literally ends up being the ultimate c u c k after Ahiko takes the rope pill
What a load of shit.
Fuck you, Asano.
Aiko's death is the most depressing scene I've ever experienced in fiction
>>24956418
Punpun smashes that MILF Sachi though.
life is pure suffering
