Bought an excessive amount of MTG cards Friday. Pretty sure I bombed the test on that day too. How are you all doing
I'm losing it. my memory has gotten so shit
>>24942459
Do you know why? I'm the same way on some SSRI's
>>24942436
>Bought an excessive amount of MTG cards Friday. Pretty sure I bombed the test on that day too.
That sounds like my day. At least I cracked a woodland bellower and a sword of the animist.
Got good grades in my hard classes. Was going to have a nice evening with gf and go to dinner, but I forgot that my gf is abusive and bipolar as Fuck. So now after a row, and being hit, and hiding in my room looking at the internet on my phone for 4 hours, I think have finally built up enough courage to leave my apartment ,escape past my neighbors who judge me hard and think I am the abusive one, and buy enough beer to pass the fuck out.
>>24942513
This srii s are shit poison drug that does nothing and makes you forget everything
>>24942515
Good shit anon. I've always wanted to use woodland bellower but IDK where
>>24942539
You should for sure break up with her. Document abuse beforehand though.
>>24942539
I'd play dark souls 1 with you anon. We'd go twinking about the painted world, merrily shitting on cheaters.
>>24942567
Which one are you on anon?
>>24942571
What does JW mean?
>>24942571
I know right? I have no idea what 3 mana nonlegendary green I should fish with it. Avatar of the Resolute is nice, but idk, I feel like I need to fish something fancier. Are you the guy with the shitload of goyfs?
>>24942604
I took it years ago. I can't fucking Remeber to safe my life what it was Jesus.. I ho,eslty can't Remeber 16 they age 20 very well it wasn't paxil, it was something else...
>>24942606
Jerk Wizard
>>24942654
Probably. Only four goyfs though. I take modern srsly
>>24942688
Some of those will fuck you up, its all about finding the right stuff
--
also my dad is making him get food so i'' be back, gimme a bit
I flushed my pills today, can''t wait for the brain zaps and emotional outbursts.
>>24942436
I'm about ready to fucking snap, just say, "Fuck it," and pull the goddamn trigger.
On top of being one of the most stressful quarters of my academic career, just because I missed a few assignments in a few classes my GPA is rekt. I didn't fail, but this shit is gonna look fucking bad and grad school applications, resumes, and I'll have to take a bunch of fucking classes over again and delay my graduation by 2 months. Oh, and I'll likely be put on academic probation because I'm a continuing student and failed to achieve a minimum 2.0 cumulative for the quarter, which means next quarter I could be kicked out if I fuck up.
I didn't technically fail any of my classes, but for my majorcomputer sciencewe're required to achieve at least a 2.5 in each class in order for it to count towards our major.
It was already a stressful quarter, I was extremely depressed and suicidal, and just when I thought it was gonna get fucking better it all comes crashing down and now I'm farther down the hole than I've ever been.
I might not make it through tomorrow Skelly.
I failed community college and am 25 years old.
Wondering what reason I actually have to lose weight, because so far there isn't one.
>>24942845
I failed community college and I'm about to be 24
>>24942539
>665.9 kb
You keked it up
sometimes the normies of my shitty little town make me so angry i want to perform a zombie ritual so that they can all get torn to pieces
>>24942756
What were you on? Some of that stuff is dangerous to just quit
>>24942761
Might wanna take a semester off to recoup or something. I know how stressful school can be, believe me I've been there and I have several Fs on my transcript. The most important thing is graduating to be honest. Don't give up anon. It's not worth it to give up
>>24942845
Anyone can fail. Doesn't mean you're dumb
>>24942921
Health mostly. Also self esteem I suppose.
--
I'm at the sonic it's taking forever
>>24943016
But I don't care about my health and the last time I dieted and lost weight I never felt any better.
>>24942436
thinking about finally killing myself soon. My friends who I told I was suicidal thinks I only said it because I was drunk, but oh well then.
>>24943097
Why?
>>24943094
Did you exercise or was it all diet changes?
>Finally start getting my life together
>massive mood swings at home and work making it impossible to focus on anything
JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP TBHFAM
>>24943130
sick of life, I can't do the one thing I wannna do in peace so fuck it.
>>24943016
Venlafaxine 225 mg. I already flushed them so there's no turning back.
It's like I know the exact steps I need to take to improve my life, be happy maybe, and every night I tell myself I'll go to the doctor, I'll buy new clothes, I'll make new friends but in the end, I just turn over and go back to sleep. I just don't have the energy to care any more.
I am totally lost for the first time in my life. I've changed my beliefs and values so much over the past six years, and now I can't believe anything, because it'll just change again. There're no directions left. Can take a step anywhere without it being the wrong step.
>>24943299
pretty much this. Just a bit calmer, realized that every step in any direction is right because the direction can change anytime.
>>24943299
>I am totally lost
>>24943130
I did both, lots of cardio, lots of veggies and lean meats
Don't believe that it ever gets better. everyone thinks that if you just change some things, it'll get better. I HAVE CHANGED EVERYTHING INNUMERABLE TIMES. I've already tried it for you. I'm older than you probably. Things never get better. I am unquestionably worse now than when I started. I've gotten things during the journey, but I am in no way better mentally than when I started. Resignation, learn it.
>>24943411
Let me explain what I mean when I say I've changed everything. I used to be shy and socially anxious, and I assumed that it was the cause of my depression. So I through myself in the deep end everywhere: moved to a different country by myself, got a variety of jobs that if never do normally all of which required social interaction and talking in front of large audiences. I am no longer socially anxious. But I am still depress, more no than with social anxiety.
I thought that having no girlfriend and no sex was the cause. I changed my attitude, worked out, and managed to get a girl who I was win for over a year. Throughout the entire year I was miserable. I was fucking my girlfriend, but I was miserable.
I thought I was depressed because I was stupid. So I studied. I learnt the language of the country I moved to, (went to uni before I came to the foreign country), read a bunch of books. It made my even more depressed, because I learnt about existentialism and the meaninglessness of life.
I used to get walked all over, typical nice guy. So I changed my morality, became someone who doesn't care about other people's feelings and doesn't care what people think about me, got a lot of people hating me. And of course I'm still depressed.
Thought lack of money caused it. Got money (not a lot but enough to support myself) and yep still depressed.
There is no external cause for depression if you are genuinely depressed. It doesn't get better. It actually gets much worse. Giving up is the best thing to do, because you limit the stress. It never goes away but you can limit it by giving up.
>>24943411
Why don't you just snap out of it ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baP3j4ioeBQ
You just choose to be weak bro.
>>24943143
On any mood stabilizers or anything?
>>24943182
Have you ever gone for professional help?
>>24943199
Dude those withdraws are killer. I tried to quit cold turkey and i was out of it for weeks
>>24943206
One step at a time anon. You don't have to do it all in one day
>>24943299
Why have your beliefs and values changed so much?
>>24943368
Ah, okay. Sometimes exercise helps for people
>>24943411
What all has happeend to you?
>>24943627
Tried therapy/meds? Could be a chemical thing
>>24943630
Damn I don't usually advocate for people to kill themselves but I wouldn't mind if this guy fell on a knife one day
>>24943630
Lol fucking kill this guy someone
>>24943725
Tried drugs. They work. But they are drugs. Feels like being on drugs.
>>24943753
Just be rich bro it worked for me :P
>>24943836
Sometimes its just about getting the right combination of meds. Took me years to find somethign that worked for me
>>24943725
I don't do anything with my life so I don't think it will be that bad. I've stopped taking them before and all I got were brains zaps and cried occasionally.
>>24943928
Hope you're right. I was a wreck.
>>24942436
Nice
I'm pretty sure mtg is the only thing stopping me from ending myself at the minute
>>24944017
What formats do you play anon?
>>24944032
Been playing about 2 months started in standard but just recently moved into modern
>>24944109
Nice! What would you like to play in modern?
I'm not doing that well.
I'm 20, have a good job where i make 50k+ cause of overtime. I'm not ugly, but I'm not attractive. I'm terribly lonely, too. I have one friend that I honestly hang out with, but we only hang out like once every few weeks. I'm also terrible with girls. I have never had a gf, kissed, and you guessed it, I'm still a virgin. Last week I met a girl and liked her, she mustve too, but I failed to make a move and now shes dating someone else. Every single girl I've tried to get at has rejected me.
I'm watching my days slip by as everyone else is starting their families, getting into relationships, having fun times out with their friends. Not me though, I just stay inside.
No one has ever cared about me and that feeling absolutely sucks. All my siblings have significant others and children. The few friends I have are all in relationships. At the end of the day, I am not their priority. I'm probably not even a second thought.
Next week I'm getting an escort because I honestly think thats the only way I'll lose my virginity and I hope it'll inspire some confidence in me to be able to go out and get a girlfriend.
Wish me luck guys.
>>24944120
Saw a pretty fun mono black deck that makes opponents have to constantly discard then they lose life when they have less than 2 cards and have to pay 5 life to play a card
http://tappedout.net/mtg-decks/h13_b/
>>24944192
Hey man, you're still only 20. There is plenty of time to find someone for you, having everything "figured out" at 20 is pretty unreasonable.
>>24944216
Oh man I love painful quandry
>>24944298
Yes but it depresses me knowing that there are 13 year old out there who have more experience with girls than I do. I wouldn't even say I'm awkward around girls. I only get awkward when it comes to physical intimacy . That's where I fail . I could be smooth as fuck and then when its my turn to hold hands or kiss, I freeze up and they lose interest
>>24944477
You really have to just put that out of your mind. Comparing yourself to others will only hurt you in the long run. And with time you won't be inexperienced and the fear will go away
>>24943725
never talked to anyone about it.
I think I'm close to done with trying to be mentally well off. I've been in therapy since I was 14, and I've tried all sorts of drugs in different doses. I've changed my life several different times. But I just can't be happy.
>>24944546
I know you're probably right but I feel the older I get the harder it will become to find someone. A lot of girls my age are also turned off by guys with less experience and someone with no experience, such as myself, is immediately ruled out from their dating pool.
>>24942436
I often get that feeling where it all just hits me. Sometimes it hits me so hard that I can't even physically move.
I'm too much of a useless pussy to kill myself, but I don't want to live either.
I'm doing nothing with my life.
I feel like I stopped living a long time ago. I just somehow still exist.
Want to go to a mosque but my family hates muslims. Especially my dad.
FUCK. I'm reminded that I likely didn't do so well on my finals. I'm not TOO worried about the first one I took but I know I didn't do too hot on my other final and it's a good chunk of the grade. Fuck. Fuck that class.
>>24944553
Do you think it could help?
>>24944598
Do you have any idea why you cant be happy?
>>24944754
I guess? I dont know
>>24944759
Is there anything you would want to be doing?
>>24944944
Why do you want to go?
>>24944967
Fuck school
>>24945088
I doubt it would.
>>24945102
Couldn't hurt to try to be honest
Just graduated college with no friends, no connections, no job, and a shit degree.
I feel like my life has been in stasis mode for 4 years, and now I have no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to do. Been fighting off depression since before freshman year, and after having it in check for a while the suicidal thoughts are slowly building back up again.
>>24944944
Not all Muslims are bad.
>>24945088
Probably due to a chemical imbalance or something. Who knows, really.
>>24945088
The day I was going to kill myself, I read a verse from the Quran and it just hit a chord in my heart. I found God, I guess.
>>24945465
Might wanna see a doc if you think it might be that
>>24945493
Huh, well whatever works. Could you go without your father knowing?
>>24945523
No. I don't have a car so I would need my mom to drive me. She doesn't like muslims either though.
>>24945088
>Is there anything you would want to be doing?
No. I've never wanted to be doing anything with my life.
All I've ever wanted to do is go home and play video games. Now, I don't even like video games anymore.
Nothing truly appeals to me.
I lack the necessary experience and qualifications to do anything career-wise that might possibly appeal to me.
I'm not even capable of working anyway.
I really have no place in the normal world. I don't even want one anyway.
>>24945546
Maybe be content to just read up about it online for a little while then, till you can go on your own.
>>24945578
Yea. A big part of being a muslim though is the community. Im content with praying alone but it would be pretty sweet if I could go to a mosque. Good job on being a bro, btw Skelly. Keep it up. I love being in these threads.
>>24945791
Allahu akbar my friend
gv
>>24945572
I've been there before, far more often than I'm comfortable with. Its hard to find drive. It really is
>>24945791
Love you too anon. Hope you find a good community for you
>>24946489
>UKIP
