>uncle offers me a job for $37 an hour
>burning corpses at the crematorium
what the fuck do i do /r9k/
>>24940059
i mean
is 37/h alot? and how many corpses per hour
kinda degenerat job
Are you stupid? Take him up on his offer.
>>24940059
burn corpses at a crematorium, obviously
Why not?
I'm anti-wagekek but this sounds like an ideal robot job.
Fucking do it, Jesus Christ.
>>24940059
Do it you faggot. 37/hour is pretty great, and you can have sex with the qt's when you're working the night shift.
>>24940059
Take it, wtf is wrong with you?
you get to burn people
DO ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Do it, faggot. Sounds easy and interesting as fuck.
don't do it. i mean, can you really be 100% sure that they're dead? what if they're still semiconscious? you'd fucking burn them to death. do you really want to do that?
JUS DO IT. you're luck you got such a solid connect.
Burn shit anon
>>24940097
It's pretty good money, and it take two to two and half hours to cremate the average body.
OP would be making a hell of a lot more than your average wagekek.
I'd do it.
Great pay.
Great/weird/disgusting stories
I have a friend who used to do crime scene cleanup and when people find out he automatically becomes the center of attention
>>24940147
>not wanting to roast normies
>>24940059
Holy shit does that require any certifications or anything?
Burn some fucking corpses bro.
Death is recession proof.
>>24940059
If you don't want it, I'll take it !
Come on they're dead, what do you want them to do to you ? They're just a bunch of meat and bones.
>>24940059
>not wanting to burn normalfags
and you get PAID to do it, I really don't see the problem
>>24940059
take it dude
>>24940140
>and interesting as fuck.
yeah roling some granny corpse into the oven and taking it out 1hour later
An author might literally kill for such an opportunity, dude. Imagine the perspective on life you might gain, and that is some serious money to boot, like 70 grand a year if full-time. Do it, bro. Don't let yourself down.
>>24940178
for some reason pepe looks especially smug in this picture
>>24940059
damn that sounds like a really interesting experience even without the pay
i would do it
How many hours? If it's more than 4, hit that shit up immediately.
>>24940059
37$ an hour to burn dead bodies?
take it, it's not gory at all, they're in coffins and get turned into dust, you just man switches i'm pretty sure. Anyway if it was a bit gory you'd be desensitized to it very quickly and it's great pay with no normies to talk to.
>>24940059
37/hr at 40 hours a week is approximately equal to 77k a year gross income. Depending on where you live, this is a very good salary and you are making more than me as an engineer working in south eastearn American. So you should definitely do it. somebody has to do it.
>>24940059
>get $37 an hour for burning corpses
>work at mcdonalds to feed fat asses
would rather work burning corpses desu
>>24940059
>get paid well to burn dead normies
>tear out their gold fillings/ jewlery for extra cash
>isolated/ don't have to interact with a lot of people
Sounds fantastic. they're already dead anywhay. Why is this even a question?
>>24940059
That honestly sounds like a no stress fun job. You're a fag if you do not take it.
>>24940237
At least you are on the same career: Death.
Give the job to me I make 13.25 an hour and 19 something with OT. I'd be the best fire pit thrower your uncle ever seen
>>24940059
Take it you retard, you can always quit if you don't like it
Looks wonderful OP. The deads wont wake up, granted they had autopsy/organ removal. Besides, if they're with you, they're dead for real.
All you have to do is put the corpses into an oven, then 3 hours take the ashes out, put them somewere, fill some paper and bam. 37$, no dealing with customers, only checking if the oven is OK. Imagine all the free time ! I would read all the time.
Take it you happy nigga.
You'll get used to it dude, people get used to all kinds of fucked up.
Fuck where is this, hook it up. I would do it for that money, god damn.
Face your fears
Make money
Good luck
Take the job. That's hella good money for unskilled labor.
That's twice my salary and I went to college and everything for this job
I would take that job in literally half a second if it were offered to me
>>24940059
>37$ an hour
That sounds fucking incredible. All you do is just send them into a burny hole anyway, right?
>>24940059
It's probably a clean process in general, cleaner than you think.
It's not like a morgue where you just throw around a lifeless naked body. The body will be clothed in nice garments and you can do a ritual thing like those Japanese guys.
>Making mad bank
>Listening to Twice's Ooh Ahh on repeat
>Burning normies.
>>24940059
Sounds quite peaceful tbqh
I would do it compared to some code monkey job
>>24940059
incredible, do it
the world runs on family connections OP, you have no choice
You don't even need a degree to burn corpses... I'm looking for a job there right now, thanks to you anon.
Sounds way better than working at McDonalds
Take it you lucky bastard. I can't even find a shit job because I have no connections.
You can make over $200 SIX FUCKING HOURS A DAY
>>24940059
I do this. It's less work and much better pay than being a night watchman.
It's not like you ever see anything. Just post'em and roast'em. Every now and then, you hear banging sounds from the furnace, freaked me out at first, but it's a normal part of operation.
I'm memorizing the new Scrabble dictionary as do this, gonna become a pro Scrabble player.
>>24940197
maybe he justgot a job roasting normies in a crematorium
So what's the catch? Does he want you to not wear the uniform?
>>24940059
Of course. $75k/year job that sounds relatively simple and I assume not social at all? Fuck yes.
DO iT OP. don't let this opportunity pass
>>24940059
Try to look up for a japanese documentary called "Orosco el embalsamador". It's about at columbian embalmer in the most poor, crime-filled neighbourhood of the capital where killings are by the dozen.
The embalmer is a pretty cool guy and gives his views of point about life and death regarding his job.
That sounds metal as fuck. Why wouldn't you?
>>24940059
sounds fun
do it.
>you can fuck the dead bodies
>fetish accomplished
>37 dollars an hour wheeling boxes into an oven and pressing a button
This is probably the comfiest job you can find OP. Minimal work required and amazing pay. Plus you can spoopy post on /x/ while doing it
>>24940059
Send that job my way, OP, I'm a hard and honest worker who can easily stomach being around the dead. I can't believe anyone wouldn't immediately take that job.
>>24940059
LIGHT IT UP MOTHERFUCKER LIGHT IT UP
i dont understand why has no one called out op on his bullshit 37/h unskilled labor?
Fuck son, I'm the ultimate NEET. I can't stand the though of having a job and even I'd do it.
>>24940767
Nepotism throws out any rules like that.
>>24940059
DOIT
Fuck, i'd love to get that job with that pay, i'm fucking jelly
>>24940059
I wish I could get a job like this in the UK, but you need special qualifications for that and the pay is actually pretty poor.
Id do that shit for free.
Im gonna look for crematorium jobs right now.
crematoriums are very nice and your only contact with the bodies is when you put em in the easy bake oven
>>24940767
seems the average salary for a cremation technician is 60,000 so op's 77k isnt incredibly far fetched considering its his family
http://www.investopedia.com/financial-edge/1009/6-morbid-careers-with-devilish-incomes.aspx
>>24940059
Take the job you stupid fuck, im neet but working with a relative and earning $37 an hour burning shit is really good
>>24940059
Not only would this be a great job offer, but you could literally get away with murder using that crematorium.
>>24940820
>Id do that shit for free.
what ?
>$37 an hour
I used to work at an abattoir for ~$20 an hour and I legitimately want to slap you in the face for even asking that question
You should do it. That is really good money.
If you're worried about them being dead, don't be. I did a little work as a mortician's assistant and got used to being around the dead. It might be scary at first, but you get used to it.
Fear of the dead is the only reason I would think you'd be hesitant to do this. Take the job.
>see qt dead body about to be burned
>alone in building
>>24940059
TAKE IT, DONT DU NUFFIN AND GET PAID FOR THAT.
YOU CANT LOSE THIS TIME
>having an opportunity to literaly toast some roasties
ill take the job, op.
>>24940059
>$37 an hour
take it, you idiot.
>>24940059
I WOULD FUCKING KILL FOR A JOB LIKE THIS
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE
THEY NEED TO BURN
>>24940059
>piss easy job
>dont have to be around people (living ones anyway)
>good pay
you can turn him down, but you better go straight to the hardware and buy yourself some rope fool
you can brag at how badass you are that you burn bodies for money.
plus you can dress like a cool goth.
>>24940847
Its work experience and its a easy no skill no social interaction job where you get to burn dead(?) normies and steal their gold fillings.you canalso fuck the dead bodies and literally burn the evidence afterwards.not to mention possible organ trafficking
>>24940147
Are you fucking stupid? This isn't the 1800s anon. When someone's dead, it's because they're fucking dead. Beyond all reasonable doubt. Doctors know this shit.
>>24940059
Take it you faggot, that sounds cool.
Get ready to schwitz like at auschwitz.
HEEE HEEE HEEE
BURN NORMIE
BURN BURN BURN HOO HOO
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
>>24940059
Pretend they're Jews
You lucky faggot OP, I always wanted to feel how the work environment operates in those places.
Not only should you do it, but use the experience and learn the mortician business. You're guaranteed to have an in-demand job for life.
>>24940059
That's $74K a year before taxes if you work full time. And my guess is it doesn't require any education or special skill set to do.
Fucking take it you nigger.
>>24940059
What are you still doing here???
They're already dead, what's the harm
>>24941790
Actually now that I think about it, there's no way he just offered you this job with (presumably) no credentials. You're handling human remains and gigantic fucking ovens, there's no way that this job doesn't require some sort of formal training or licensing.
>>24940059
Fucking do it retard.
>>24940961
W-what about all those stories of organ donors cut open when there is an 80%, not 100% chance of the donor being dead
Don't forget to bring a comfy song playlist for work. Sneak a bottle of booze and drink one glass for the Dead as a token of respect.
>>24941862
1. That's no true. Unless it's a back alley organ harvester working with the russian mob.
2. Even if that was true, it still has nothing to do with you. People who go to the crematorium are fucking dead. They've been dead for literally days. They're not waking up.
>>24941845
What credentials do you need?
Put corpse on grate.
Push grate into oven.
Wait until corpse is cooked through.
Pull out grate.
Dust off grate.
Repeat.
I don't think it's anymore difficult than that.
>25
>barely etching out a living as a freelance web design kek / code niggerslave
>scroll through 9000 neet threads
>see this thread
I wanna push you in the oven.
>>24940059
wtf OP this is a no brainer, take the job.
>37$ per hour
>per
>hour
sure it smells for the first while but yo get used to it, plus the families want it so..?
>>24940059
Dealing with dead people is disgusting and scary.
>>24940059
I'd take that. Would be an interesting job too. I'd kill for something interesting.
>>24942211
>plus the families want it
Exactly. I have respect for people who can do this job. Being able to spread my mom's ashes in the ocean was a powerful symbolic act to me and did a lot for my grief.
>select all images of large bodies of water such as lakes or oceans
>;_;
I give it 2months before an anon comes back with necro stories,
>>24940059
FUCK IF YOU DONT DO ILL FUCKING DO IT. IDGAF IF I HAVE TO ROAST THEM ON A SPIT AND SERVE THEM LIKE A THANKSGIVING DINNER, 37 IS 4 TIMES BETTER THAN WHAT I'M MAKING RN AN I'M IN COLLEGE
>>24940059
wtf op 37/ hour is really good take it
>>24940168
Family connection, so I doubt OP would need any certification because his uncle would probably be willing to teach him on-the-job.
Envious of that connection, desu. I'd kill for an interesting job like that.
>>24940059
Go for it.
I've been to crematoriums before. They don't even smell like shit because the ovens are air tight.
>>24940949
>not to mention possible organ trafficking
how do you live with this level of autism?
Just looked this up because it seemed rad. At least in the UK, the job apparently involves talking to the family and shit. Sounds pretty shitty. You have to interact with but sad whiny people. You have to dress nice and look presentable. No thanks.
The work
Crematorium technicians do the practical tasks involved in cremation.
As a crematorium technician, your work would include:
cleaning and preparing the chapel before the service
making sure the cremation equipment is operating safely
receiving coffins and carrying out identification checks
meeting mourners as they arrive and escorting them into the chapel
making sure that legislation and regulations are followed
operating cremation equipment
making sure that cremated remains are identified, stored and disposed of appropriately
accompanying visitors to existing memorials
keeping records
>>24940059
>take up the offer
>compromise with or be a serial killer within your area
>kill all the chads and stacies
>sit back and watch as their relatives pay to burn their bodies
low key beta uprising where you also get money
>>24942288
>I got friendzoned by a corpse, what do robots?
>>24942479
I'm nearly in tears I want this job so badly, and the only way to get in these days is nepotism.
For fuck's sake OP, give the job to someone who wants it. You have no idea how good you could have it.
This is like a dream job, fucking take it.
You will regret it later in life, not to mention that you should take it as a challenge and face your fears.
>>24940576
came here to say this.
See a cute roastie, desecrate her body.
She didn't fuck you in life, you'll fuck her in death.
Its like pottery.
>>24942527
Are you a neet necro?
>>24940059
>he thinks we think hes seriously turnin' this down
>wise guy owa here
>>24942659
was NEET for the last year, just got hired last week for an overnight stocking gig. I am literally surrounded by funeral homes in the area I'm living at but all of my shrinks would have a fit if they found out I wanted to work at one.
do it good pay
>>24942527
Will you be my partner in crime yet?
Would take it in a heartbeat
>>24942712
>all of my shrinks
>>24942527
>necrofag lives
>>24942712
Are you the anon roleplaying as a female mortician that fucked corpses?
>>24940097
37/hr is a fucking ton
>>24942712
kill your shrinks, burn their corpses
>>24940059
if hitler did it why can't you
>>24940059
Dude, that's like $70k a year, fucking take it
>>24940059
You should know that for a certain time period, the burning corpses are going to smell delicious and you're going to have to deal with your mouth watering.
If you're unemployed then yes you should take the job, that's good money. Why is that even a question
if im assume the job doesnt make you meet a lot of people than im jelly as fuck OP
>>24940059
sounds like fun. You might even get to fuck a couple dead Stacys.
37 an hour just to place a body on a slab, turn some nobs, and get your dick wet doesn't sound like a bad deal.
>>24942722
No. Go find someone on /trash/ or /soc/. Everyone here is too depressed, incompetent or scared to do anything.
>>24942746
Don't judge, man.
>>24942766
>mfw
>>24942781
Nope. I'm the mentally ill necrophile that wants to be in the death business but keep getting set back, resulting in too much time bitching on /r9k/ about how shitty things are.
>>24942793
I'd be the first suspect, mystery, I wouldn't even make it to the border.
>>24940059
Perfect job for your average 4channer tbqh senpai. We see some pretty gruesome shit already on this site.
>>24942857
>creepy susie
good taste anon
>>24942857
How did you get sent to the shrinks for necrophilia?
Were you busted digging up corpses to fuck or something?
>>24942857
I just wanna hold you, babe. ;_; You not fulfilling your wants makes me so sad
>>24942857
Pls kill me, necrofag. You can do whatever you want with my body afterwards.
Just pretend they're Jews.
>>24940166
>Not roasting roasties
You had one job with those dubs and you blew it.
>>24942857
Just a heads up: life isn't looking like it might end up with sudoku right now.
Your best bet is me coming down with a terminal illness, in which case I'll stick with the "crawl out into the wilderness to die" plan.
Sorry des
>>24940767
Because of the idea of burning bodies for a living isn't a normie ideal.
>>24942437
>not to mention possible organ trafficking
m8 the organs have to be taken within a certain time and under the right conditions or they're useless.
>>24940059
What the fuck, if you dont take that fucking job you are a baka.
Must be so nice to be white and to always have connections to good jobs. Did you know 70% of whites obtained their job through a connection and didn't have to apply? I haven't said this in several years, and as much as I want to have pride in myself....fuck I wish I was white right now.
>>24942781
>tfw you'll never have a gf into guro
>>24942437
>trafficking organs that have been dead for several days
I would literally kill to be in your position. I have no education or skills and having a $37/hour job just fall into my lap because of nepotism is the stuff of fantasy for me.
FUCKING TAKE IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING FUTURE NORMIE I WOULD LITERALLY KILL A HUMAN TO BE YOU RIGHT NOW I'M STRESSED OUT AND SUICIDAL BECAUSE I HAVE NO JOB OR FUTURE AND YOU DON'T WANT TO TAKE A HIGH PAYING JOB JUST BECAUSE "IT'S SCARY" FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>24940059
>esitating
>>24940097
About $75k /year. Pretty great
>>24940059
That sounds fucking awesome, do it you pussy. I'd take that job in a heartbeat.
>>24943111
that stat must include being referenced from uni professors though. just go to school lol
>>24943111
It's shit like this that DEFINITIVELY PROVES the phrase "white people can't be robots" has more truth to it than any white "robots" here want to admit.
>>24943117
>putting on that ridiculous makeup and making that stupid face to try to make herself look good and get attention even while standing in front of a fucking cut open dead body
Women.
>>24943125
Just buy a Subway sandwich made FOR YOU
>>24943152
It's a well known phenomenon.
>>24942893
Thanks anon
>>24942908
I was having a psychotic breakdown from a combination of things (bipolar disorder, extreme sleep deprivation, shock from the shit I had done/seen) and my shrink determined that it was unsafe for me to be out of a ward. Once I got there I was honest about what my problems were and they immediately diagnosed me with necrophilia. From there I was held involuntarily until they figured out what the hell else was wrong with me and the rest is history.
>>24942913
Thanks senpai
>>24943015
I understand
>>24943144
No, that statistic includes by far mostly family, friends and neighbors. Didn't even mention professors. LOL faggot stfu
>>24940097
What's degenerate about disposing of the dead? Somebody has to do it, it's a task that society takes for granted, chances are you'll only work part-time so you should have time to pursue other endeavours.
>>24943152
Well if you're going to take a picture you might as well look good for it
>>24943166
>being honest
should have kept that shit to yourself.
Now you'll never get your dream job.
>>24943175
but can you really blame fathers for picking their sons over some unknown ghetto nergro
no, i dare say you cant
>>24943165
thats the thing though, girls just want to show you their face
>>24940059
take the job
>>24943241
I know, but the privilege of having whites in nearly all decision-making positions like that is why you all have it so easy.
>>24943283
sure but if you were born white you wouldn't give a shit either
>>24943166
I'm sorry.
It was probably bad of me to ever give you the hope I might in the first place.
>>24943308
and I also probably wouldn't be pretending I could ever be a true robot.
>>24943283
Agreed, honestly. The main reason I just can't buy into /pol/ bullshit is the fact that although white people are generally on top in most areas, that's entirely because literally the whole system is composed of people like us and slanted in our favor. White people have been stacking the cards in our favor for hundreds of years, it's just idiotic to deny that has anything to do with the racial issues our society faces.
>>24943348
t.b.h. famil.y robots are autistic and therefore less affected by social conditioning in general, which makes them less aware of the anti-racist stuff thats been going on in schools for the past few decades. if you wanna complain abut whitey holding you down then this probably isnt the board (or website lol) for you
>Fucking OP has a great job just thrown at him and I had to enlist
Just fuck my shit up, senpai.
>>24943212
My medical record can only be released if I sign a very specific waiver releasing that information. There isn't a soul who can know about it without me giving the word. Doesn't turn up in any sort of background check, and it hasn't stopped me from getting work in the last several years.
>>24943327
A pretty dick move but I can understand that you had good intentions.
>>24943366
You sure senpai? Your brother seems to agree >>24943413
>>24940059
What's wrong with you that sounds fucking great.
>dealing with dead people so they won't talk to you
>working alone probably always
>$75,000/year
YOU HIT THE PROVERBIAL ROBOT JACKBOT YOU FUCK.
>>24943493
>avatarfagging
>namefagging
>tripfagging
All you need next is to start role playing and you'll be the official biggest fag on r9k
>>24940097
>almost 5 times minimum wage
>is that good
What the fuck? I'd move to another state if I was offered this
>>24943580
>hating on necrofag
go back to /b/ you fucking fuck
Accept the offer shit ton of money senpai
>>24940059
DO IT FAGGOT.
This is the opportunity of a lifetime, anon.
>>24943587
niqqa fuc that I'd move country
>>24943609
go rim a nigger, roastie
If you work 8hrs 5 days a week that 5,900.
So around $5k a month. Get yourself an apartment for 1k a month and save the rest... You'll have a brand new car fuckin how's being Chad in no time
>>24943634
>touching black people
eww????
>>24943629
Fuck it bro lets open up a normie burner
>>24940059
Holy shit can I get your job you pussy
>>24940059
burn normie get cash are you fucking retard op
>>24943688
wow rude
>implying you could ever look as good as this
>>24943773
>looking like black people
???????? wot
>>24943609
>>24943688
>le tripfag defense force
Necro is actually a good trip. What do you contribute mystery?
>>24940059
I would do it for free
I would even pay for that
I'd do it if I had that kind of connections
>>24943806
I contribute absolutely nothing, just like irl.
Start fucking burning corpses! $37 and hour! Don't be a dumb cunt! They're already dead anyway, you could have to jizz on them and it'd be worth $37 an hour
>look this job up for myself in a 10 mile radius
>nothing
Fuck you op, just fuck you.
>>24940059
What> you get to burn the bodies of normies, of course it's a good deal you fucking idiot.
Take it you stupid nig nog. Its my dream to work at a crematorium.
>>24940059
37$ an hour for something thats only challenge is the fact you deal with dead people is a great job OP. Serving fast food, and just dealing with all that bullshit will only get you about 8$/h.
You figure it out. Your a big boy.
>>24940172
>death is recession proof
...can't wait to post this to digg
Holy shit I'd kill to have this job...
>no human interaction
>37 fucking dollars an hour
How the fuck does one even go into this type of business without being seen as a total creep though? No normal person would dream of this kind of work
>>24944458
>No normal person would dream of this kind of work
>Everybody in this thread is envious
God, I don't often say this, but we are indeed some messed up individuals.
This would be amazing. Let me guess, it requires a degree in something like health sciences and 2+ years of experience in barbequing studies?
Can you just imagine operating the furnace and then taking your hulking cash loaf to the goth club, where the mere mention of your field of work swings you any creepy qt you want? Keep your stem, your engineering, your computer work, your medicine, this is the true robot job.
>>24943493
We were just talking about you at the bar last night. Did you really try to kill your bf and fuck his rigor mortis wiener?
>>24944574
tech school diploma, I looked into doing this but I failed chem in high school so I don't qualify
>>24940059
Do it faggot. That's great pay, and the job sounds cool as fuck. Also, it's a good conversation starter when someone asks you what you do for a living. "What do you do for a living anon?" "I burn corpses." "Holy shit whaaaaat?!?" That's how it will go.
>>24940059
my dude do it.You get money.You get sex what's not to like
>>24944520
More that we know the shit jobs 99% of the world has and can compare.
>>24943802
You're dead to me mystery. Racist females are ugh
FUCKING
DOOOOOOOOOO
ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
>>24944964
I literally do not care at all I promise
>>24940059
Mother fucker for $37/hr I'd be robbing Graves to get more kindling for the fires.
>>24940059
Just do it anon, you can always quit after a month if it sucks that badly
It's fantastic pay
>>24940059
>$37 an hour
FUCKING DO IT YOU PUSSY FAGGOT.
THINK OF ALL THE TENDIES YOU COULD BUY.
actually sounds kinda cool, I'd do that for minimum wage even. take the job m8, you'll be rich and metal as fuck
>No positions around me
Fuuuuck! I'm gonna keep checking every few weeks, till I find an opening. This sounds fantastic, thanks for the career path op
Cremators make between $17k and $30k (at the most yearly)
Why are you guys so fucking stupid?
>>24942035
You're ignoring the fact that he's operating and maintaining a giant gas powered oven. If he manages to fuck something up he can take out the entire city block.
Mortuary shit is awesome. I met this qt goth bitch doing embalming. I orbited a while then came to my senses. Dead people is still cool though. I'm currently in a funeral director program. It's at awesome job. Wear a suit every day, very respectable, quiet comfy work place, pretty flowers, console all the qts mourning grandpa with your dick.
Are you fucking serious? Just do it.
Corpses aren't that hard to work with. Most people only see corpses in traumatic situations, e.g. an attack, an accident, a funeral, etc.
Do you feel bad when you see a dead person online? No? Then take the fucking job.
>>24945157
>Why are you guys so fucking stupid?
Have you seen the "fembot" threads?
They'll take any poster seriously.
>>24940059
Is he in the Northeast? Fuck, I'll work with you OP!
>>24942832
>get your dick wet
>dead body
>wet
