>500 word essay due next friday
>havent start yet
who else /fucked/ here?
>>24933620
>500 word essay
Robots are lazy and dumb as fuck
No wonder you guys are too lazy to put im work to get a gf yet you want and hate woman at the same time
>12 sentence paragraph due in 55 minutes
Who /onsuicidewatch/ here?
>Extremely important tests monday
>can't understand the course
>shitposted all day instead of studying
JUST
Hardest part is starting.
Just push yourself as hard as you can for the first 5 minutes then it will get considerably easier.
The longer you go for the better your flow will be.
>>24933620
>500 word essay
>6 days till deadline
>Fucked
This has to be bait
>>24933646
>/r9k/ is one person
I love this meme. Gets me every time.
is it even an essay if its only 500 words?
>>24933620
500 word essays is a 30 minute job you fucking idiot.
>AP ELA exam requires 3 essays, 15 minutes per essay
>You can't write an essay in a week
You're retarded.
>this thread again
>people still getting baited
>>24933736
Damn must be nice to be smart like you...
I wish you all the happiness you deserve for being at least average IQ. I'm sure you'll get out of this shithole cancer of a board with little to no effort.
you normies better fuck off...
im a slow righter so 500 words for me may be 5000 for you.
>7 hour essay due in 5 pages
>only five minutes in
>>24933654
I can do that in less than fifteen minutes
3 paragraph eassay due in 3 years
Can anyone help?
6000 word essay about relativity, 10 days left. who /fuckd/ here
>>24933620
That's a short essay man. Just fucking do it.
>20 page dissertation due in 7 hours
kill me
>>24933894
i dont know how to start..
FUCKIN NORMIES AND THEYARE WPM. I CAN ONLY TYPE SO FAST FAGGGGGGOTS
>4 page paper on algebra due in 2 months
What to do lads?
outsource it to some indian on fiverr
>>24933620
high schooler pls go
>16 word greentext due in 5 minutes or else mum will take away my internet privileges
>ten word shitpost due on /r9k/ in thirty minutes
JUST
>>24934043
whats ur topic?
>>24933711
How fucking new are you that you haven't seen this thread before?
>4000 paper due this Tuesday
>around 95% finished
>just can't find the energy for the last 5%
If you didn't immediately realize the OP was bait you need to kill yourself.
>tfw need to start a 10-12 page essay due at 11:59pm
I'm probably just going to use an extra day and accept a 2% penalty.
>>24934116
Only a 2% penalty? That's fucking nothing.
500 words is barely 2 pages anon. Let me help you. What's the topic supposed to be?
>X essays due in 5 nanoseconds
>X represented in this math formula
>5000^4( 487/32 ) - ( 345X^-87 ) )
How fucked is anon? and how many essays does he need to write?
>6 character essay
>due in 85 years
How fucked am I??
that pepe is an hero
>>24933620
A 500 word essay isn't even two pages, bruv. Dubs say that you hand in a 499 word essay
>>24934159
the topic is "what I would do with superpowers" basically i have to pick a superpower or two and say what id do with them
>2 final exams in 3 days from now
>havent started studying yet
I just dont care anymore
>WHAT I LEARNED ON R9K IS
What do you write lads?
10 word essay due next year
I'm fucked
>tfw have to have my finger paintings and macaroni art ready for next month.
just fuck my shit up.
>>24934397
you fucking moron, did you mean to type 10 page or are you actually this stupid?
>5 word sentence due in 2020
>haven't started it
who else /toofargone/ here?
>>24934287
are you in autism school
>1 character essay due in 2055
>haven't started yet
who else /on suicide watch/ here?
>>24934480
10 word essays are usually the hardest because u don't know what words to use as ur 10 to get the best marks tbqhwy
>>24934173
0.00250608392312294218698310089665
I actually bothered to calculate it.
Eleven word sentence due in 10 millennia, help me senpai...
>>24934480
autism detected sorry about that
>>24934514
wtf no, why would you ask that?..
>>24934577
its this tripfag again
>>24933620
Dude write one paragraph a day you will be fine
will take you 20 mins a day tops, just cut back on your shitposting a little
>200 word essay due January 5th
>Haven't even started yet
I've already ordered my helium bag.
>procrastinated my master thesis for 3 years
>felt like i would never finish it at all
>told my friends i graduated already
>giant web of lies
>3 years later
>it all worked out in the end
phew lad
>>24933620
On what?
If you're willing to hotwire money into a paypal, I'll write it for you. My usual rate is $50 for every 500 I write.
>2000 character shitpost due on r9k before my captcha expires
>haven't even started yet
Oh god I'm going to have identify some street signs AGAIN!
>>24934638
its this
>>24934287
>>24934549
wait does that mean that anon isn't fucked at all?thanks for calculating senpai. Here is your (You)
>>24934549
Here's the calculation if anyone doubts me
let's see here:
>finish two novels i was meant to have read by september - due 3 months ago
>re-read about ~1/4 of the first novel, and write notes on events and their meanings as i go along - due by friday
>do two maths algebra questions - due monday
>write a ~1000 word essay for english - by friday
>write a ~1000 word essay for history - by friday at latest
>do a few maths probability questions - due tuesday
>do a maths probability test - due tuesday
>redo and re-mark and fix the previous maths probability test i failed - due tuesday
>read a bunch of sources and books etc for history and english - due asap
>make notes on chapter of a book i read for history - due monday
>read an essay for english - due tuesday
>study 3 months worth of work, organize a bunch of work, fix 3 months worth of notes, etc - due around january, although i was meant to have started this after the first day of school in september
>no motivation to do any of this fucking shit, will probably do the homework at 3 am the night before its due (like i have for essentially every bit of homework i had these past 3 months), and not actually do any of the studying and fail my tests and fail exams
who /suicidewatch/ here?
>3 python programs
>3 assembly programs
>half of one visual studio program
>all due monday
Kill me.
>>24933620
5000 would be easy to get in next Friday you fucking retard
>>24934287
Easy. I would want shape shifting powers so I could be like chad and get a qt
>>24934775
Find some on github, change the variable names and move stuff around.
>>24934781
uhh this isnt supposed to be a lewd essay...
I have to inhale before the end of the fortnight
>>24933799
>slow
and
>retarded
are two different things OP
>>24933620
2 page into my 7.5 page paper. Due 12/16/15. JUST FUCK MAH SHIT UP SENPAI
just passed in a 15 page paper, edited down from 30+ pages
come on
>have 500 word essay assignment
>write 400 words
>hand it in
>mfw I get full value
>>24933620
500 words?
Are you a fucking retard?
I just had a 10 page single space 11pt font due.
Get this, my prompt was: What do the liberal arts mean to you?
>What do the liberal arts mean to you?
Fucking hell, OP. Take some adderal and fucking type.
>>24935298
well? what the fuck DO the liberal arts mean to you?
post conclusion pls
>>24934869
Ok. I'd want the ability to understand abstract and difficult concepts instantaneously. Math, science, maybe even the meaning of life.
Build crazy machines, mod my car to fly and shit.
>2 word essay due in 3 months
Fuck robots, what do I do?
>>24934287
okay. It's so obvious that OP is a troll posting an old meme, and that (You) aren't actually OP, and that you are both trolling or making a stupid meme, and that nobody wants this stupid essay, and that if someone did want this essay they are too autistic for me to like them enough to help them so I definitely wouldn't do my homework for them; but nevertheless, I guess I just wanted to end today feeling like I achieved something.
So here's the fucking essay. Came into it not knowing what the fuck to write but just wrote a general history of superheroes (which I know pretty much nothing about), then talked about the famous superhero Superman, then realized I could see what powers he has and what would be the most useful, then decided to just check statistics and see what power is needed the most for the world, then i just finished the essay and im done with life
585 words total:
Media has, in one way or another, always held a fascination for the world of superheroes, and great people using magical superpowers to bring justice and peace into the world. Superhero comic books invented such ideas, and created characters whose sole purpose was to stop any criminals or wrong-doers, by defeating any villains seeking to do harm to the hapless and helpless civilians; thus becoming greater than any police or military force that the non-super humans could achieve. Nowadays, modern CGI technology, and a reborn interest in science-fiction, has brought superheroes to the masses. Whole planets and galaxies become under threat in these massively popular fictional stories, and it is up to these groups of superheroes to save the world from danger.
(part 1 of 3)
10 day word due in 500 essays.
wat do?
>>24934336
memees
>>24936363
From this, it can be safely deduced that the purpose of a superhero is to bring justice and peace to those who are being prevented from obtaining it themselves. Of course, we live in a world without fantastical villains, or other similar characters that are hold such superpowers and exploit them to bring destruction to the world. Therefore, it can be assumed that a superhero within our society would have to help people more directly, and not by merely defeating a particular person or creature in battle.
The stereotypical superpowers range from advancements or exaggerations of features of a typical human, to magical omnipotent powers that break standard conventions of physics or logic. For example, the powers of the character Superman include super strength, which allows him to save people that are trapped under large objects, or need someone to deflect the physical damage they are about to receive from a villain. As well as this, he holds the ability to fly without the requirement for any technology - a feature definitely not possessed by any member of humanity - allowing him to reach places that are otherwise not easily accessible to typical grounded mammals, such as rescue services and workers.
(part 2 of 3)
This thread is my favorite method of newfag detection. Thanks, OP!
On a more serious note I wrote a 21 page paper in 10 hours last. It was pretty good, too. Still not my record though, that's 25 pages in 8 hours but I was much better organized than this time.
>>24933728
>a specific community does not have a certain demographic
Go ahead and count how many threads there are here about being successful at sex and studies on here vs failing at them.
>>24936363
>>24936411
Of course, many superheroes also possess completely foreign powers, like the ability to become invisible to the naked eye, or to view objects with X-ray vision, or have the ability to teleport, amongst hundreds of others. While all of these features do make a superhero useful, it is perhaps not the most vital power to have, in the interest of saving the citizens of the world. Aside from actions committed by humans, and disease, natural disasters are the biggest threat to human beings, in a world where comic villains do not exist. Therefore, the ability to lift heavy objects, or reach awkward locations to save people stuck there, would be very useful. Statistics from the United States, which calculate death tolls that amount from natural disasters, highlight that almost 20pc of deaths occur from heat or drought related events, 19pc from severe weather, and 18pc from winter weather; while geographical occurrences only account to around 1.5pc of all deaths.
Therefore, the ability to control weather, such as the ability to cast a freezing ray from one's hands, or the ability to produce heat, are the most vital. As most of the deaths occurred from droughts or high temperatures, the ability to lower the temperature in an area would be the most useful. I would use this to save people in countries hurt by global warming, or help farmers stricken by droughts, and make sure that my ice cream doesn't melt as quickly. In conclusion, if I had superpowers, I would use them to save people from the most common non-living killer - heat and droughts.
(part 3 of 3)
im done with life
I need to finish a ~20 page thesis proposal by Monday-ish. The writing is going fine, but I have to make a shit-ton of figures.
>>24933646
newfig pls get out, robot pls let me shitpost
>>24936363
>>24936411
>>24936524
lol trolled, i dont have an essay on superpowers due you tard
>>24936820
>not reading first paragraph of first post and realizing i did this for myself
counter-trolled ;^)
>>24936887
no you were just using those words as a shield from my troll beam but it failed
>>24936960
god dammit how did you realize ::::^)^))^:::^))):
I don't even know anymore if everyone is a complete newfag or I'm just being post-ironically counter-meme'd.
>>24935298
Freedom of expression, the ability to express through vis a vis art,
>>24933620
nigga i can write that in 20 minutes and get an A step up
>>24933620
>3000 word essay due on Tuesday
>Haven't started yet
>>24933620
literally just copy paste 4chan comments until u get 500 words
I had to do a 600-900 words essay in my final term test in 1h and u cant do a 500 words one in a week?! Ure so fucking dumb, amerifags are retarded
>>24933799
500 words = 10 minutes, you're probably doing some retarded course like media
>>24933620
>500 words
literally 2 hours max
>>24933620
>>24933620
lol u retard. that's like 4 1/2 paragraphs. if you cant write that in a week, you really should kill yourself.
>have an exam this morning
>get to school, managed to sneak in past the searchlights and guard dogs
>walk into class, have to tip the door opener $15 as I walk in, luckily I have my Corvid with me so I can get past the no singles policy
>purchase my pencil and eraser (sold separately) from my professor
>have to fork over 72 Uni Tokens as payment, I'm now down to one after having used the rest of them accessing the stairwell
>she gives me my exam and I sit down
>final is kind of difficult, it's taking a while
>the sound of other student's falcons flying overhead is getting fucking annoying, luckily I don't have a meme bird so my Corvid remains chill as fuck, he whispers some of the answers into my ear
>almost finished
>suddenly designated school shooter bursts into classroom
>guns down the first row immediately
>finish the rest of the exam in a panic, try to sprint past the DSS
>he fires wildly at me, my Corvid takes a bullet in the wing
>frantically run out of the school, fling my final Uni Token at Ziggory the Boatsman and ask him to take me across the Uni moat
>he takes me across the water, I take a bus home
>call the Uni Avian Help Desk, they tell me since I didn't get an A on my exam I'll have to pay for the damages done to my Corvid out of my own pocket
Fuckkkk
>>24933946
nice facebook frog normie :-D--<
>>24933620
500 words is like 4 pages u pussy, if you can't jobble down 100 words a day ur a huge faggot and should suck on cock for a living instead
>>24933620
10 page ethics paper, single spaced in latex.
Due last week. Grades go in monday.
I am at page 2.
>>24939929
lurk more autismo
>>24940213
This is my favorite new meme
>tfw still haven't finished coloring my coloring book and moms on her way home
>500 words
thats like 8 hours of writing, you can get it done in like 3 days...
>>24940213
I enjoyed this quite a bit, thanks robot.
>>24940825
It's nice since it's so wildly imaginative
>>24933711
nice bait
dis comment orignal
>>24933620
>6 days left
>Only 500 words
Nigga just last week I had to answer 108 questions from the whole book I was supposed to read for the duration of 12 weeks but I didn't. Yet I still read the entire thing and answered all the questions in one night resulting in a 974 word long document.
Jeez OP, you still have a shit ton of time.
6 page essay on the necessities/morality of war.
Shat that nigga out in 3 hours.
I always find it amusing that this thread (and threads that are similar to it always evolve into people bragging about how fast they can do their homework when in reality most people don't give a flying fuck and are only in this thread to aimlessly shitpost.
>>24934781
what about invisibility that way you can watch your "soon to be" qt 3.14 gf get fucked by chad
>>24933620
These are the best posts for fishing out newfriends, great job familia. I AM LOVIN' THIS POST ANON, LOVIN' IT!
>3000 words due on the ethics of abortions
>due yesterday
>haven't started
i have no idea what to do
>four 2 page essays to be written in 2 hours as a final exam for an elective
>four topics are to be selected out of a pool of like 8-10, given to us in advance
>I should write out a rough draft for each of the possible topics
>all by thursday
>drinking Fireball and Dr. Pepper and watching some balding asshole playing Hearthstone instead
>>24942558
thanks lol asdada
