>met a girl I know from middle school
>she is awkward and shy, and has a very squeking voice 5/10 face
>she has hundreds of friends, talks about going to parties and restaurants
>met ugly, overly agressive and skinny friends that I met in high school
>they all talk about their previous girfriends, having sex and doing drugs
>went for CS in college and expected a bunch of nerds and robots to talk to
>mfw they are all chads, wannabe rappers, and overall sociable people
>mfw I talk to them that I never had a girlfriend, and I dont have friends they all look at me like I'm crazy
Am I such a fucking loser that I basically destroyed the system?
I seriously don't know how that happened
>>24927462
>talks to others irl
lol leave the board normie
>>24927462
man up, fgt
>my mom used to put glass in my family's food to try and hurt us (I never ate it because I was afraid of her)
>developed this overwhelming fear of food, could barely eat anything for years
>she stabbed at my door with a knife, trying to kill me
>would have to walk her to the corner store to buy liquor (she was too drunk to go alone) while she talked about how suicidal she was
>hid in my room all day
>flash forward
>can't leave my room
>overwhelming anxiety that my doc refuses to treat (she thinks I'll have some adverse reaction to benzos)
>get hallucinations almost every night
>can't talk to people except for online and I feel completely alone
>keep getting addicted to kratom and research chemicals that I buy off the internet because I can't find any connections and I'm too scared to use the dark web
>feel completely empty and can't ever sleep
>>24927462
you seem very shallow and egocentric, get a dog or something
>>24927529
This shouldn't make me this hard
Seems like the only way out is suicide, mate. See you on the other side eventually.
>>24927536
Why am I shallow?
>>24927536
>OP is the shallow one
Stop using that word, you're making it lose its meaning.
If you want to make a significant change in your life you have to be prepared to take big risks
why not try becoming someone you're not, try going out with chavs or rappers, stop complaining about who you are if you haven't even tried being a different person
>lol be yourself
doesn't work if you never learned how to be emotionally balanced
>>24927462
Why THE FUCK would you tell them you never had a girlfriend and have no friends? WHY????
>>24927529
Damn m8 I'm sorry man.
The dark net isn't that hard to use, and you seem capable enough to access it. All you need is a burner laptop+bitcoins+Tails OS+access to a public wi-fi service and you can go from there.
But really man. Drugs don't help. At all. ESPECIALLY with horrible, overwhelming anxiety. I have had severe anxiety problems since birth, but the first actual panic attack I've ever had was on weed. And after that event, I plan on never using anything again, except maybe liquor or perhaps some psychedelics. I don't know. Either way, drugs just dig a deeper hole. No matter what your issue is.
>>24927579
OP here, I'm trying to go out with them, but they dont want to, I guess I'm too ugly
>>24927462
What school anon? I will be studying CS next year and all these normie stories are scaring me.
>>24927565
>call friends ugly and 5/10s
>"I'm not the shallow one they are!"
why are they shallow? because they have social lives? your logic is retarded
>>24927662
Now you've just outed yourself as retarded because the guy above that post is clearly the one who's OP. It all makes sense now.
>>24927623
most men don't care about other men being ugly lol
It's only when it comes to sexual dynamics that men will be total jerks to each other if that helps them get some pussy
don't jump in the sex wagon yet, first get some normie friends, it's not that hard, even if you don't really give a shit about them it's easy to pretend you do, just pay close attention to what they say and their hobbies and just copy whatever they do
Honestly you could be ANYONE if you just found a role model and imitated the shit outta him.
>>24927696
Sounds like you need some serious psychotherapeutic care. You need to be hospitalized my man, before things get worse.
>>24927649
Minessota State Comunity and Technical College
>>24927720
I've already been hospitalized, I don't think it can help me much more.
>>24927726
Phew. Its just a meme school/quarantine for retards like you. Thanks.
>>24927726
Sorry I meant Minneapolis
>>24927733
Then try CBT+meditation. Although I'm not sure it'd help in your case. At times I feel as hopeless and directionless as before, but with mindfulness at least your mind is a bit more anchored to reality instead of drifting aimlessly thinking about what-ifs.
Either way, the drugs aren't really helping you.
>>24927773
I've been trying DBT, CBT, and meditation and they help control my moods and urges a little bit. It's just so tempting when there's chemicals that I can take to make me feel better automatically.
>>24927726
Why couldn't you get into a better school?
>>24927696
you're hallucinating because of the drugs you fucking retard
>>24927890
I hallucinated before I ever did drugs.
>>24927867
I had good grades at the beginning, but I got tired of learning, I stopped giving a shit, thought it was pointless, I just chose a college that's closest to home
>>24927690
what? I wasn't replying to the OP
>Stopped talking to an 8/10 girl who treated me well over one silly comment
>Now she's living in New York and doing all kinds of shit while I'm stuck here doing nothing.
That was 3 years ago and I'm still not over it. I've never had a successful relationship with anyone and I don't think I ever will.
>>24927513
Suicide rate is higher for men, so if that's what it means to be a man, I think I'd rather not man up.
>>24927621
>normie adivice
The proletariat are the truest betas
>>24927529
If you're a girl, I'll love you.
>>24928078
Sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm a guy.
>>24928035
Suicide attempts are higher for women, though.
>>24928236
How can a woman enjoy all that attention if she's dead?
