So I was put in charge of the bar the other night after our bartender left, so I guess I'll hold the keep again. There's also some cooks in the back as well
>>24922168
I'll have a mug of fresh Rompope por favor
Tis the season
Yes, I know it's a hard order, but the long wait will be worth it imo
Pic related is my fantasy Nippon waifu
I'm taking Intro Japanese 101 at CC next semester and hope to git gud enough to travel to Japan in somewhere between 2 to 4 or 5 years from now and meet her IRL version or at least a qt3.14 Japanese grill who's somewhat similar to her
Her name is based Kiyomi
>I will never take her on a chill night-walk under the starry night sky unpolluted by city lights
>I will never hold her hand tenderly and listen to her tell me the lullabies, stories and folk tales of her village/ancestors
>I will never alternate big and little spoon with her and tenderly caress her bangs and rosy cheeks
>we will never snuggle /comfy/ in Aokigahara, not a living soul anywhere nearby, listening to the rhythm of each other's heartbeats and breathing patterns, and KeKing maniacally on occasion bc we're both Blasted out of our Minds on Acid, Peyote and/or other Hallucinogens and the Trees, Plants, Little Cute Animals and Stars above our heads all blend together and shape-shift into the most Absolutely Ridiculous Trippy Colorful Forms and Patterns
>I will never whisper into her ear "I Love You, Kiyomi-chan. More than anything in the world. I would die a thousand deaths just to relive this single moment in your arms."
>>24922168
So this is the real thread huh? Anyway, i'll take my usual New York Sour.
>>24922585
Why live bobu-kun?
>>24922168
I don't care about the drink.
Just fuck my shit up.
hey...i'm the soldier from the other night.
had to leave for awhile,but now I'm here for anything....i'll have a Jack Daniels....
i miss ya,Jones.
I'll have a Shekelstein Deluxe
Anything cold bartender, this heat will kill me one day.
>>24922700
Tell us your problems anon, cmon, someone who got dubs can't be this sad.
>>24922585
coming right up. How long have you had this interest to go to Japan? I've always wanted to travel abroad, but I wouldn't know where to go
>>24922619
Here is your NY Sour, and yeah, our last bartender left and the other Tavern had no bartender, so i took up the shift.
>>24922700
hmm. Care to elaborate Anon? I'm willing to listen. there's also food here, too.
>>24922756
Jack Daniels, nice and simple. I left the Tavern early, so I don't think I saw you.
How many tours/where?
>>24922803
hmmm. Interesting choice.
>>24922852
Anything on the rocks? Will Bourbon on the rocks do?
>>24922944
Sure. Also, congrats on consecutive dubs. I always saw them as a form of art, you know.
repost bot
I don't know if that other anon from yesterday is here, but still.
I didn't go to that bus today. I've decided I won't take the final next week so I'm probably never going to see her again.
I feel sorry, sorry for myself.
I wish I could've met her in some other situation where it would've been easier to talk to her and get to know her, but it did not happen.
I'll probably always regret it.
>>24922855
Anything free here?
>>24922995
They truly are. I saw some rather impressive consecutive trips the other day.
How's your night going?
>>24923039
Care to share a synapses of your story? I happened to leave early yesterday, so I missed out on a few notable Anons.
>>24923058
The peanuts are
>>24923123
I'll take a bowl of peanuts then, and another Shekelstein Deluxe
>>24923149
Kekles.
Here is your frothy Shekelstein Deluxe and bowl of peanuts
>>24923123
Saw a girl in a bus while going to uni several times. Prettiest girl I've ever seen in my entire life.
Never worked up the balls to talk to her because how the fuck do you talk to a complete stranger in a bus?
Classes are over now and next year I'm going to be taking a different bus since I'm moving out. Probably will never see her again.
That's pretty much it. I feel as if this oneitis is going to come down upon me really hard.
I'll take a gin and soda because she doesn't exist. Just the normal problems.
Whiskey on the rocks please Mr. Bartender.
>>24922855
Gracias, DosEquis!
Tbqh, since kind of recently. About 3 or 4 months, I'd say.
They have such a Based and Interesting Culture, to me at least, from my perspective.
Especially the efficiency, the cleanliness, not such a focus on Chad-tier extroversion in social settings, the focus on Kawaii-Cute-Moe in almost every aspect/setting.
Seems /comfy/ phamiglia.
And I've read that Japan is somewhat robot-friendly, so it seems?
Also lots of single women bc nobody wants to get married apparently.
So you want to travel abroad? Ah, I have some humble suggestions for you. Take them as you wish.
For you, I'd highly recommend Puerto Vallarta, MX. Or Mex City. Maybe Veracruz too. Just avoid Narco-Tier Danger Zones ofc. If you want somewhere cheap, close to USA, bang for buck, with warm, friendly people and accommodating to your language if you don't speak Spanish, Mexico is the place to be.
I've personally been to China also myself and if you speak the language, the experience is God-Tier. (Unfortunately, my Chinese was shitty to nonexistent, so mine was just Great, but not quite God-Tier.) Roasted Duck for the win.
Or if you're more inclined towards Europe, my German friend says Germany is Based. Hearty meals and Handcrafted Lagers for days. They'll look at you weird if you ask for water at a restaurant. Drinkers' Paradise. Just if you're nonwhite you probs should avoid certain Neo-Nazi areas that tend to be more to the east.
I'll have some french fries.
I want to get a damn job, but I don't have any skills or particularly long work history. (I wasted three years at college, and it's quickly going downhill now)
>>24923123
Good and bad.
Bad because I remembered when I got BTFO by my oneitis in public when I was 14 or 15, something like that.
Good because I am getting hyped for my trip to Germany tomorrow. Probably going to post about it in here.
Vodka, black bull cum and concentrated mineral water please.
Today was boring, not really sad but i guess I'll help out feeling the feels.
I've been having panic attacks, I've been keeping them secret.
What kind of alcohol would be best for that?
>>24923219
Welp. It happens. I've only had the courage to talk to a stranger girl once, and I'm pretty sure I came off as a creep. oh Well. Hopefully your heartache doesn't last too long.
Want anything to drink? It's on the house
>>24923255
Here's that gin and soda.
I don't know how I feel about Women. A lot of them just seem so deceitful nowadays.
How's your night going?
>>24923287
Yes, whiskey on the rocks.
Do you come to this Tavern often?
>>24923295
Ahhh, the infamous Germany. I'd have to sadly avoid the east I guess.
I've heard about the marriage issues over there, its real odd.
I take it you travel a lot?
>>24923297
I'll have the line cook started right away on your order.
Did you fail your classes or have they been useless thus far?
>>24923320
Oh nice.>>24923295 has some good tips involving travel.
Remembering failures, especially relationships hurts man. Here's that Bourbon, sorry for the delay.
>>24923380
hmmm. haven't seen that order before, but I think I have some bull cum lying around somewhere.
Do you have any hobbies/interests?
>>24923433
Not too sure, I've never had alcohol available when I'd have the rare panic attack, since I don't go out much.
Who have you been keeping them a secret to, if you don't mind me asking?
>>24923255
>>24923515
Yeah, it's hard to find a good one. The entire week has been crap, ups and downs. Damn anxiety.
>>24923515
>Who have you been keeping them a secret to, if you don't mind me asking?
My parents. The only ones who would really care about it. I've had a mental condition for some time that I can't put my finger on, but I haven't had the courage to go seek help.
So instead, I try to hide that I have a problem. I've been doing it for a while now.
>>24923515
I know that the courage to talk to a girl is hard to come by, and even if you get it, you need to pull off some smooth shit to not come off as a creep, both in her mind and the dozens of people around you that are automatically judging you a pervert who wants to rape her or whatever the fuck people think when they stick their noses on other people's business.
Scotch would be nice.
Overall the rest of life is going okay. Passed a final easily, bought 2 new jeans, starting to work out, but to be honest I wish girls didn't have this much impact on me.
She's just so pretty. Not pretty in the "so help me I would fuck her so hard until my cock catched on fire."
Pretty in the actual sense of pretty, she's cute, beautiful.
Man.
Put that scotch on hold, I should just go to bed.
>>24923515
I enjoy football, programming little games or being lewd. My hobbies have kinda died with my suicidal thoughts growing.
>>24923515
>Do you come to this Tavern often?
Truthfully speaking, I can never really leave.
But I've accepted my lot in this life. Best one can do is enjoy themselves to the max.
>>24923676
>I wish girls didn't have this much impact on me.
We all do anon, but it's life. We want to be with someone all the time, I just want someone I could talk all my problems to, I never really knew a person I could trust like that, I became friends with the wrong people in my childhood.
Godspeed and good night to you, Anon.
>>24923735
>I enjoy football
Please be soccer. I love soccer, it's hard not to when you live in SA
I think I'm going insane, I stay at home all day on /r9k/ go to work when I'm needed (Casual worker for shitty retail store) rinse and repeat.
Every day just feels the same and I don't have enough interests to pursue to change my lifestyle, I'm 22 and I already feel like my life is at a dead end already.
I need something heavy barkeep.
Some hard cider to get me cheery and bearable to be around and then I'd like some whiskey. Any kind that comes in a glass bottle, I'm sparing no expenses for my pity party tonight.
>>24923782
American Football :D
>>24923789
Iknewtf
What you need is a bomb in your life, something that resets you.
Guys I'm terrified that I've ruined myself for life by missing out on the innocence of young love.
>>24923782
>We want to be with someone all the time
We do.
I just wish that the one I want to spend time with wasn't a complete stranger.
Thinking on it logically, I don't even know how she actually is, her personality and all.
I like her appearance, so I shouldn't be so hung up about it. She's just a pretty girl.
But goddamn she is pretty, man.
Night.
>>24922168
It's not last call, is it? If you're up and running, I'll take a High West, neat... Looking forward for this year to end
>>24923645
Do you take any medication to help with the anxiety or other forms of help?
>>24923659
I understand, sometimes it takes some thinking to decide whether or not to seek help. I'd suggest seeking help though.
>>24923676
Sadly, that's true. and heres that scotch.
I'm in a similar predicament. I've been trying to improve myself all around, but there's truly no one to confide in irl at the moment.
Goodnight Anon. Wish to see you another thread.
>>24923735
have you always had suicidal thoughts?
>>24923748
Love the attitude Anon. I try to live by that too. Accepting life but living it to the max.
>>24923789
Well, I have some moonshine I found in the back yesterday.
Mind a glass of that for now?
Also, hobbies are worthwhile to pursue. I've found peace in painting and small writing, and I think it would be beneficial for you to try something too.
Have you tried out any hobbies?
>>24923792
West County baldwin cider coming up
How's your night progressing?
>>24923890
Care to elaborate?
>>24923907
Nope, still up.
Heres a High West.
did you take any classes this year?
>>24923789
If i may suggest something.
i strongly recommend creating something or cultivating a skill in yourself. anything. lifting weights is an obvious choice for all men, almost a requirement. just something you can pour just a little time into each day, something that grows the more you do it. men were not meant to simply exist, toil, sleep, masturbate.
itll always be harder to create something, than destroy or waste. remember that if you ever decide to do something meaninful with your time. yes it will be difficult to varying degrees, but forming a productive creative habit will be felt for years if you persist for only 1. make your life about improving in this one thing, not about r9k or working. those things are the inheritence of the society we live in. the rest is really up to us. im 22 and been doing the whole work smoke weed masturbate cry to sleep thing and being competely honest, a man gets very weary of it all. very very weary.
a bridge must be built by your own hands. something that will give a new dimension to living life. it is possible anon. thats all
>>24922168
guiness stout. its been a long day.
>>24923789
Try saving up money to try and do something you really enjoy in the future, you'll get motivated and leave this depression. Tell me, anon, what made you happy before?
>>24923840
>American Football
Fug :DDDDD
As I always say whenever I wander on in this place, you're doing a great service to some folks, barman. I place very high value on those that render service to their fellow humans; even something like this on an anonymous that many would call insignificant or trivial. It ain't, man.
Oh, and I'll take a few yuenglings I always request. Cheers.
I'm alright, myself. I'm quite confident in my abilities and my appearance. This is something that has developed over the past year and a half. Sometimes it is almost unsettling; I would have never thought I'd be the way I am now.
I'm fortunate that I don't mind being lonely so much. What I miss most about my past is being in love. Guess I've been there three times in total. As of now I'd say although it never even came close to working out, I do not clamor for the past to change.
But I want to fall in love again! I want it to be from mere chance or happenstance like it has before. For once, I'm confident in my charm and aesthetic and I'm nearly certain I could reel in plenty of ass if that was my desire.
But it ain't. Ah, maybe when I get back into university next month I'll be able to do it again. And maybe this time, it'll even work out for a while.
The third shift is slow tonight.
Anyone like post-hardcore or hardcore tunes? Going to shows? THAT is something I never would have imagined myself doing; going to a hardcore show and immediately putting myself in the pit. Alcohol certainly helps, I guess.
>>24923929
Thanks for replying man, I will elaborate. I feel that I missed out on the innocence of young love. I'm a recently turned 20 year old virgin, surrounded by college girls. It feels like most of them have been used, and have already had all their firsts. I won't ever take girls virginity, I missed out on they innocence.
If I want to get girls now I have to act alpha, cool, and god forbid you show that you like someone. I'm literally reading messages from 2011 from a girl who liked me and now I can't get her out of my head. Help me man I'm literally crying over something I can never change.
>>24923645
>>24923929
Sure, that gin and soda. I started seeing a therapist but I haven't met my deductible so I pay out of pocket and can't afford to go often. I do what I can.
>>24923998
And if anyone is interested, I'll do my damndest to describe the very much in-progress mental and ideological framework I've developed that I feel has done absolute wonders for my outlook, attitude, and spiritual health. I'm not so good at explaining it. Very abstract. But sometimes it is comforting for people to know that someone similar to them radically altered their lifestyle, behavior, and thoughts.
>>24923956
>Tell me, anon, what made you happy before?
I used to like drawing. Was never good at it but looking back at my school sketch books It was pretty obvious I enjoyed that class the most.
>>24923929
Thanks Barkeep, see above, I might try sketching again. I don't want to stay at this job forever, I feel like there's better things out there but I just don't know where to even begin.
>>24923943
>cry to sleep thing
I think I've nearly reached that stage already, there are even times when I feel like throwing up at random.
I started getting weary when I finished school, but I had video games and anime, thought it was awesome to finally be free, then it became a drag, got a job thought it was a nice change (this wasn't until I turned 21 I got my first job which is where I'm at now) There's a 60 year old guy at my job who makes me feel even worse because he goes on about wanting to pursue other things.
>>24923929
Since I was 12
I used to think it was normal but man it's became self intrusive. I look at anything and think "i could kill myself wit it".
A year ago I wrote a long list of uncommon ways to anhero.
Hey, can I just get a water? I like the vibe in here and just want to hang out a while, having trouble sleeping
>>24923929
Thanks, appreciate it... I did, matter of fact. It's so fucking frustrating, I gave them my all, and I ended up with all Bs and a C...I have normie friends that are graduating and getting into top law and med schools, and I'll be lucky to get a shit engineering job that'll just past the bills, that I'll work at for 40 years until I fucking die... Why even try anymore?
>>24922168
Can I ask for a French 75? They always help me think of better times.
I'll be honest, I've plenty of problems, but most of them I can ascribe to being my own fault.
The thing is, I have no idea how to approach any kind of romantic interaction whatsoever. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, and I could just go along being an alcohol-fueled robot as usual, but there's been a girl that has apparently taken some interest in me. I usually get around this by being an awkward, standoffish dick, but this girl is rather earnestly persistent, and I'd rather not be unpleasant to someone who has gone out of her way to be sweet to me. I just can't bear to tell her that I'll be long gone in half a year's time one way or another and I'll likely never see her again.
>>24924037
>I'm literally reading messages from 2011 from a girl who liked me
I know that feel but this is a girl from 5 years ago, we dated for a week but I fucked it up hard because I was so shy and beta.
I feel worse for my old friend because he tried his hardest to find me happiness but I screwed it up been GF-less ever since.
>>24923929
BTW DosEquisGuy, I'm the Bartender's Apprentice from last night. Sorry for bailing, had to cram for a midterm, might be able to join you for a shift over the next few days.
>>24924116
I'm literally listening to Shawn mendes and crying like a little bitch. I don't know what to do
Anyone seen 5cm per second? That shit fucked me up
>>24923998
I'm gonna be honest with you anon, I never went to any kind of show or these hardcore parties. My past marks me as a total robot, who doesn't really care about being a normie, just cares about being happy. And that's not me. Not anymore. I've never gone to these and never had friends that went to these events. I should be thankful for all the opportunities I have and will have in life, but this is one thing I really wanted a second chance, to change everything in my social life. Or even, to say "sorry".
>>24923515
>I take it you travel a lot?
I wouldn't say so really senpai
As a US cvck myself,
Only been to Mexico and China
But Mexico is just /default/ cause it's right across the border (2 hour drive), my parents are from there and most of my family/grandparents still lives there. So my parents would take me every summer since I was a wee baby.
So really the only place I've traveled to that I would consider >foreign
As in I'm completely detached/outsider to the culture, is China. And I went for 2 months a couple summers ago
>>24923998
Friend, I would guess that around a third to half of the people in the pit are just as awkward and lonely as you. At least, I sure am.
>>24924194
Yeah, beautiful and sad. No over the top story. An anime I can relate too which is what made it so powerful. Lots of people criticize it because it is a slow boring story but that is slice of life.
>>24924197
Although I never did tend to post on /r9k/, even now, I could have truthfully written your post 2 years ago. I'm 24 now.
Well, not EXACTLY, I suppose. I'm very fortunate to have made such good friends relatively early in my life. I am forced to acknowledge that it wasn't ALL luck. I've been damned good to each and every one of my friends through the years. But the thing is, I've had nothing but pure reciprocation on their parts. Ain't ever been fucked over by them.
I'd be a liar if I said that I didn't care at ALL about "being a normie". Can't help but give 1/4 of a shit, you know? But mostly I am interested in happiness, as you seem to be.
I never reckoned that I'd actually be happy, walking into someone's house I barely know, to be greeted and introduced by dozens of drunk, stoned, or otherwise intoxicated folks. NEVER, man! Sounds like a bunch of jackasses getting fucked up and doing stupid shit, I thought.
Well, I wasn't all wrong. But as it turns out, I enjoy it exponentially more than I thought I would!
I don't know anything about your current circumstances, but try to hook up with some folks that seem endearing to you, see if they're the sort that likes to party.
> Or even, to say "sorry".
Oh, god. That one. I feel it, man. I feel it fucking HARD. The few times I've attempted to do this; pour out my exact feelings and notions to someone I feel that I've wronged. I don't mean to have a saint complex, but I only rarely wrong people. I'm very, very careful and caught up in morals and ethics. But it certainly has happened!
Anyway, these folks seemed...almost embarrassed to receive such a heartfelt apology. They don't understand...as loathe as I am to say that cliche shit. They really don't get it.
Actually, I'm currently debating and procrastinating writing rather wordy, heartfelt expositions to many of my loved ones. I feel a strong need to tell each of them EXACTLY how I feel and what they've done for me.
>>24924097
You gotta stop chasing the normies expectations man.
Life doesn't get better as a medfag or court kike, they're treading water as much as you are now. Pay off your debnts, give shekels to taxes or the IRS will seize your 40 years of desk jockeying, work harder for the bosses new boat and save for retirement in florida. The cycle never ends no matter how high you go.
You must operate your life from the bottom of society or be trapped in a race you'll never win.
>>24923929
Thank you, barkeep. I never heard of that kind of cider, but it sounds fancy.
Got back from a concert I went to with my friend. It was fun, but he mentioned a get-together he and his other friends had earlier this week. One of them debuted his short film for his film class final. I wasn't there or invited. I was one of three people in the movie. He just always mentions these get-togethers I'm never aware of until afterwards so casually. I see the guys on board game nights and every week at D&D, so it's not like I don't know them at all. I've even gone places with them a couple times.
I hit the glass ceiling and can't delude myself anymore. It hurts. I want friends so badly, bartender. I should be happy with the one I have since we spend so much time together, but I want to be part of the group. I don't know what's wrong with me, that this always happens. What did I do wrong to these guys? Am I not fun?
I know it's just the shitty weather, me being an over-dramatic shit, and being burned out from school and 'work', but sometimes lately I've been half-seriously wondering why I didn't look for my grandpa's shotgun harder a few years ago.
>>24924299
Yeah, reckon so.
What kinda tunes you into? Just saw Dance Gavin Dance and A Lot Like Birds in Atlanta recently. I'm not a large man, only 120lb and 5'10'', and I drank quite a bit. Very good show.
Apparently, I was being ogled and eye-fucked hard by a female or two that I was in conversation with. Naturally, I had no idea, being rather intoxicated and in such a hectic environment. Hell though, I don't at all regret not "making a move"! It does absolute wonders for my confidence, though.
Fucking alcohol, man. Hell of a social grease.
>>24924053
Please explain Anon-kun
I get pretty close to An Heroing on a daily basis almost
Feel like I'm gonna die alone
>tfw 20 and already starting to come to terms with the reality that I will never have a gf
>>24923943
Guiness Stout, here you go.
How so? what kind of job do you have at the moment?
>>24923998
Yuenglings. good choice.
I've been to a Danzig concert. that was cool, but I wouldn't call that hardcore.
And yeah, I understand the looking good thing. I gave up on working out about 2 weeks ago, nothing much in my life was changing anyways.
>>24924037
Damn. I understand that feel. I had a gf once in highschool, never kissed or anything else like that, but I remember thhe warmth of her body.
Maybe some whiskey will help the both of us?
>>24924046
that's good. Whatever you can afford to do, do it
>>24924082
interesting. Mine developed at around the same time, and I suppose we just have to live with it.
Finding humor in the morbid isn't all that bad.
>>24924086
sure sure, a glass of water.
Imsomnia?
>>24924097
feels bad man. Just try to preservere.
We hate it When our friends become more successful than us.
>>24924108
Well, I'd say take a leap of faith with her for the time you have left here. Would you be able to do so?
>>24924169
It's fine, bartending isn't too difficult. If you could take the shift tomorrow that would be nice.
>>24924194
Never heard of it. is it a movie?
>>24924298
>fellow mexican/hispanic
that's cool.
have any family plans for christmas?
>>24924380
It is. Top shelf as I think they call it?
I used to hang around a group like that, with my detachment ever so prevalent.
I eventually left, but for you I'd say to try to become more involved with them, if thats what you'd like to do.
>>24924461
Ahuevo! Orale compa.
>have any family plans for christmas?
Not much yo. Stay home. /cozy/. Tamales, champurrado, bunuelos, ponche and rompope for the nice little buzz. Probs meet up with a few uncles/aunts/cousins that live nearby. Maybe have some nice little platicas and bromeadas around the fireplace.
Wake up next morning and more tamales pa la cruda.
feelsgoodman.jpg
Nomas me falta this week of finals and I'm solid :^)
>>24924359
It's good to finally see someone who is not interested in "getting tons of pussy DUDE, DONT BE A NERD :PPP" but rather, who wants happiness, not necessarily to be in parties in stuff, but to do what pleases you. I as well, can't say I don't want to be a normie, but I do want to get someone who I could talk everything to and not get judged heavily on first, and then, get a gf and stuff (I was lunching with my father today and he said "yea, when you become a father, you will understand those things", and that really touched me, because that maybe never happen).
Do it, tell your friends about your gratitude, one day they may leave you, and you haven't seen time pass. I never really had good trustable friends, so I couldn't say I wish I had done that. But I'll take your advice. I am hoping to move countries in a not distant future anyway. We shall see.
To the anon that was depressed and was interested in drawing, try painting or even drawing, have some classes, try to learn new techniques and spend time with what you like, having a hobby is what keeps most human souls alive. That is why for the first time in my life, I'm starting to feel, not dead, but weakened from inside.
>>24922855
I'll have a XX green pls. I'm in love with my side girl who has been with her man for 7 years. Me and my gf have been together 4 years but I want to be with the other girl. Yes we've fucked more than once
>>24924451
Alright, bud. Be sure to cut me some slack.
Where to begin...
Well, there are two components to this framework I can elaborate on most easily. First is the re-direction and re-description of likely prevalent negative emotions running around your head right now.
I do not agree with many people on a certain point: I strongly feel that negative emotions such as disgust, anger, or sadness are NOT useless. I'm not claiming it is entirely healthy for the general population, but where I began turning my life around started with re-direction of these harmful emotions.
For example, I used (and still use) disgust at myself as a very strong motivator. Although I'm employed and on my way back to finish university, I still consider myself a failure.
HOWEVER, this does NOT mean that I am obligated to continue being a failure. I do not accept myself as I am now. Continued progress is required, and strong anger/disgust at myself is a very good motivator for progress.
Let me try to explain re-description/personification of negative traits now.
I find it very useful to create an entity out of a negative trait you have. For example, depression. I don't mean to PERSONIFY this thing, exactly...oh this is difficult to explain.
Think of it as this. Your mental space, your "desktop" takes the place of a house or property that YOU own. Any negative patterns of behavior, such as depression, are INTRUDERS or UNWANTED TENANTS inside YOUR home. It is your duty to evict these tenants with mental force. I find it extraordinarily helpful to think about it in these terms. It gives you an enemy to fight.
Your mental maladies and aberrations should be treated NOT as parts of yourself, but as trespassers in YOUR DOMAIN. Your mind, your brain-box. The only thing that nobody can take from you.
You are the sole sovereign of your mind, heart, and soul. Reclaim them from the invaders of depression and anxiety.
I'll try to continue with the next component I can describe.
>>24924461
>>24924656
>fellow latinos
Nice. I wish I could speak Spanish, but I happen to live in the only Latin American country that doesn't speak it. So, a question I always had: do you guys like the heat (lo calor, I suppose it's like that in English)? I hate it. I can barely sleep when it's really hot.
>>24924461
Damn, that really is fancy stuff.
How do I become more involved? I invite myself when I can, but it doesn't seem to work. And my friend seems to have no idea that me not being invited to something I helped make was not fun to hear. I asked him if it was fun a couple of times and he just said 'it was just a spur of the moment thing' with a smile and honestly had no idea that wasn't very cool. I live closer to the brothers' house than him. I didn't push it or act like a bitch but I ordered a few more shots after hearing about the get-together I wasn't at. Then I was actually happy again but that was hours and hours ago.
I acted for six hours without a coat for that movie, Barkeep. It was cold. I did it without complaining or asking for anything, just like with the last two movies I was in. I can't go back to no friends. I won't live through having nobody again, I'd blow my brains out for real. I'm close enough with my good friend and deep enough in starting a company with him that we're cool, but... Shit. I don't know.
>>24922168
Some fireball whiskey wouldn't hurt.
Every time I see an attractive girl that I would see myself with, my mind plays out scenarios of us spending our lives together and doing shit together even though it's usually a complete stranger.
I'm starting to wonder if this is because of loneliness or something different. Am I the only one who really does this or is it a common thing?
>>24924737
Latino music is the feeliest of all music. It's all about no gf or had gf then lost gf
Can I get a pitcher, barkeep? No, I don't have friends joining me. I just want to drown my sorrows. Also, are we allowed to smoke cigarettes out here or is there a special area? Sorry, what was I talking about. Oh yeah. My troubles. Seems I have a lot of them. If I were a suicidal man, I'd be free of them all. Alas I am not. Instead I just drink until I forget about them. *takes out mirror and baggy of white powder and hundred dollar bill out of pocket* You don't mind if I do this on the bar, right? I'll give you a rail too. *snorts loudly* Ahh. Good God. That's some fucking fire right there. Woo. Damn. Anyway. Where was I? Don't interrupt me. I remember now. My life is some spectacular shit. I've already taken three xanax tonight. Anyway, I'm a kek. I'm kek'd by a disease. Schizophrenia. The thinking man's fetish. Mein Gott. Why isn't suicidal legal in the USA? It seems to me that... *lights up cigarette* Hey! Where are you going? Are you gonna get me my pitcher? Son of a bitch. Everyone leaves me. *takes a deep drag and begins breaking up more lines of coke on his mirror*
>>24922168
Bartender I fucking hate myself get me your strongest shit.
>>24924752
It's loneliness, I have been having dreams about old friends and Us going to do something together more than this girl thing. What about you?
>>24924771
That is true. If you want to, I'm hearing "The Girl from Ipanema" on Soundcloud (this way I can post and hear on my phone since no PC) if you want to, really comfy imo.
>>24924794
Tell us your problems if you want to anon, don't worry, we all are doing the same.
>>24924771
Jose Alfredo Jimenez (Pic Related)
Literally Robot: The Singer
>>24922168
Whisky. Single malt. Scotch highlands. Ancnoc.
Double.
>>24924656
Mmmm. sounds nice. I'm gonna be meeting up with some family at an aunts house and eat a lot of tamales. A portion of my family's from Mexico, some from Spain
>>24924715
good choice. Sounds like a difficult situation you're in. I's say just to keep it as you have it.
Has your gf or her bf ever been close to catching you two?
>>24924737
From America here, southern-ish Texas.
And no. The heat sucks. Shorts helps, but not by much.
What country are you in?
I also can't speak spanish, I just know a few words and phrases
>>24924741
Have you tried expanding your friend circles by meeting other people through them?
>>24924752
I like to imagine its common.
Heres that Whiskey. How's your night going?
>>24924780
Err if you could do that in the bathroom that would be nice, but smoking is allowed out here.
My father has schizophrenia, and I'm scared it might be hereditary. Any notable symptoms?
Here's a pint of surprise, just take a swig
>>24924794
Moonshine. >>24924794 and yeah get it off your chest Anon
>>24924724
The second component involves lofty ideals and goals; these may be unreasonable or unattainable. It is very important that these goals be dear to YOU, and not synthesized to "fit in" to society's narrative.
For me, this lofty ideal involves long-range space travel and eventual colonization of other celestial bodies.
I am intrinsically motivated to render assistance to those that require it. This desire is easily summed up as this (manifesto-like, heh) statement: "I am obligated to make a tangible, positive impact on others of my species, in order to do my part to catalyze technological, social, and spiritual growth eventually resulting in propagation through the stars."
This goal is likely not going to be realized before my death. This is unfortunate, and makes me far more sad than the lack of a significant other could. I've come to relative terms with it, though.
But THIS is what keeps me going. What I posted before is how I turned around and clawed my way out of the nasty pit of despair.
Please, ask questions if you have any. I will be as open as possible. I am aware that I am likely being vague and pretentious. Sorry about that. I need to hammer out this mental framework of mine better in words, so I can share it properly.
>>24924676
I think that we are something like kindred spirits. It is rare and very refreshing to see, especially on this board. I have such little hatred towards others to give compared to others here. It doesn't seem like you have very much either.
Could I ask where you're from? I'm from Georgia, in the Southeast US. I've kept rather strong online friendships with people from all over. Had lovely homies from Chile, Dominican Republic, Germany, Greece, and Norway.
Thank you for your advice.
Here's a tune that has been dear to my heart these past weeks. Maybe someone will recognize my pseudo-homoerotic fascination with Jim Morrison.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dpuIMLugCw
>>24924817
Women do not like me and I am fucking lost in this shitshow of a world.
>>24924846
coming right up.
How's your night going?
>>24924865
>slams drink
The night is well. There has been murder and suicide in my town as of late. That isn't too well.
The Glenlivet 16, double.
>>24924850
Brazil. It's horrible here, and it's gone worse in the last year or two. I can't even do night walks, it's way too dangerous.
>>24924854
Women don't like most of us here anon, we are rather socially inept or ugly. But, why are you lost in this world? I'm not lost, I have an objective, but the other parts of life have not been easy for me. Some have, others not so much. I complain too much, tell me about you.
Hey 'keep, saw your thread the other night but it was already dead, glad I could make it tonight, I'll have a Glenfiddich on the rocks.
>>24924886
Feels bad man. I'll sometimes take a look into the newspaper obituaries, just to imagine what would be written for mine one day.
Here's your drink Anon. Enjoy
>>24924915
Damn. I've heard about the stuff going on there.
Whats your thoughts on y'alls leader?
>>24924955
Mmm, good taste. Yeah I berkeeped for a bit last night before i left. I'm not gonna be able to do it tomorrow though, gonna be studying.
How's your week been like.
Here's your drink
>>24924752
I do that shit, man. I'm the cunt posting walls of pseudo-religious text.
It doesn't worry me at all. I like to exercise my imagination! It is truly fun to imagine things like that. It'll happen to me once in a while. I'm only modestly lonely, and not at all upset about that.
I just love falling in love. Ain't worked out that well for me in the past, but even imagining falling in love is great.
I wouldn't fret homie.
Not bad at all, got an Economics final tomorrow so a bit of anxiety, ya know?
>>24924915
>But, why are you lost in this world? I'm not lost, I have an objective, but the other parts of life have not been easy for me. Some have, others not so much. I complain too much, tell me about you.
No objective, no skills, no anything. Just...lost.
I don't fucking know man, I'm hoping shit turns around but I'm slowly losing hope.
>>24925012
that's great. I've only realized this morning that these weeks are going by fast.
Yeah finals are nerve wracking
>sips drink
Sure are, what are you taking?
>>24924987
Makers Mark, Knob Creek, Woodford Reserve
All triple
Leave the bottles
>>24925056
English, which I'm okayish at.
Did you come to the Tavern often?
>>24925072
Whatever helps.
>hands bottles
Allergies are acting up again.
Is online dating worth the risk? I made a profile on one just to see what it was like but I didn't message any girls or upload a picture. I'm too scared to.
I have little hope of meeting any girl in reality. How do I unfuck my crippling fear of women?
>>24925109
Eh, never really trusted sites like that, so i wouldn't know.
It could be a childhood related thing. or just life experience thing .
Want anything to drink?
>>24924851
>being vague and pretentious
>sorry about that
Nah, you're good. We're straight. Lofty goals, I see. Ahh, I too once had a very similar outlook. Moreso to the 2nd part of your explanation, the first only sort of tangentially.
Came out of HS wanting to be an Astronaut, pioneer to colonize Mars (even if that meant never being able to return to Earth), get a Ph.D. in Nuclear Astrophysics or some such.
Got accepted to top-Tier STEM school. (Basically MIT level or a little bit tougher workload even but not MIT, was a different school)
Fast forward to end of freshman year
Barely passing classes
But felt disoriented and alienated from everything around me
Even avoided my college friends for a month (would stay iny dorm, skip lectures, sleep in the day and stay up at night researching suicide methods/painless ways to go)
Almost Blew my Brains the Fugg out (was pretty close to buying shotgun from some Tor router site)
Dropped out
Now all my close friends are gonna finish their Junior years next spring
And I'm here in CC rn
I wanna go back to the same Uni actually (Dean said it's chill since I left on good academic standing)
But not sure if I deserve another chance at that school considering the first time the pressure almost killed me
>mfw I would be a rising sophomore next fall and all my fellow generation will be graduating seniors
>mfw the qt girl I used to talk to 2nd semester freshman yr that I've been crushing on ever since will be there
At least I know what my most probable hobbies would be if and when I go back next fall (weed, acid and maybe opiates)
>>24925140
Nothing for me, thanks. I've got work soon.
Honestly I think I know why I am this way, but I'm not going to rant here to explain it. I'm just lonely and I'm in a bad situation with some people. I'd like someone else to spend time with but I'm too afraid to reach out and find anyone. It's nobody's fault but mine, but I can't do it...
GF stuck her finger up my butt today. dont know how i feel about it. She thought it was super hot though.
what do /r9k/?
>>24924987
Terrible thoughts man, terrible thoughts. She has become a joke here. Literally. Some say she is nearing insanity, she can barely speak cohesively and is with an approval rating of 20%, if not lower, and on economy was supposed to grow like 1 or 2% this year, but it actually got worse by 3% or something like that. Horrible times my friend, horrible times.
>>24925029
Damn, it seems bad for you. So, I have you tried to get a job? If you have the no experience problem, try lying, putting shitty jobs in your resume just for the sake of it, it's worth the risk in my opinion. After that, try doing something you like. Anon, what did you like to do what made you happy in the past?
>>24925109
If you are desperate, then yes. But take my advice, don't try to be a normie, to have a gf desperately. Try easy, try getting a good friend, talking to people that share interests, etc. We all have to start from somewhere. Try that and you should be more confident with women. It should at least make you more happy. That is my philosophy, don't be a normie wannabe, be a happy person wannabe.
>>24925143
On second thought,
The 2nd greentext is actually a positive for me
Assuming I don't Spill Spaghetti as per my usual self :^(
>>24925169
Oh well. There's always a way out you can find.
Mind to elaborate?
>>24925170
?
>>24925174
Thats terrible. Well, I hope things get better for you and your country.
I might lay down soon. Anyone wanna take up the barkeep for tonight and tomorrow night for me?
Jack daniels honey with ice.
Why can't i find direction in my life? I just want a good job so i can do nice things now and then, just go on a small vacation to a nice sunny country or having a nice car that is comfy to drive in
>>24922168
Can I get a Virgin Gin and Tonic?
>>24924850
*takes pint* Surprise, you say? I'll take a swig. *swigs* Hmm. Quite good. Schizophrenic symptoms, eh? Well, I suppose it all starts when you think you're being tracked and monitored and mkultra'd and monarch mind controlled and you start believing in elves and fairies and aliens and ufos and angels and demons and you start to think the world is ending or that you're dying or already dead and awaiting judgement. Delusions. Fortunately my medication keeps it in check. But I still hear and see things ocassionally.
>>24925214
I wouldn't mind trying my hand!
>>24924850
Nope they have clue bar keep. Both obvious to the fact we are seeing each. I mean it's cool but I feel feels for her. I mean I feel for my girl as well but I'm not sure what it is I feel you know
>>24925214
we were gettin it on and she startted rimming me for the first time, which felt pretty good, then the finger went in and it kinda hurt but whatever, she just really found it hot, so i pretended to like it more than i did. then she told me she thought we should both get butt plugs. weve dated for 3 years and this is the first time weve done butt stuff. idk what to do
>>24925257
Ready to take over whenever you're ready keep
>>24925214
We all hope it would get better. I would, but I have no knowledge in drinks.
>>24925170
Ask her to not do that again. That's not really nice. But again, you have a GF, I don't, I never knew how women work
>>24925217
Do it then, what stops you from doing it anon? Tell me.
Alright, shifts starting, what can I do y'all for
>>24925284
i would, but i think she really really likes it. like we had sex 4 times today, we havent done it that much in years. and i think its because she got off on being in control. idk
>>24925305
>>24925170
>>24925272
>>24925339
tell me what u think barkeep
>Be me
>Be 8 am
>Lurked for a couple hours already, sorted some stuff out, feeling pretty decent for a change
>Want to unwind, maybe have a quick fap before hopping innabed
>Step outside to take piss before that
>Greeted by my mom's fat ass
>She's bowing down hovering over the dog and scratching his belly, RIGHT before my fucking door
>Saw that the lights in front of my room were on for 10 minutes or so already so she must have been there all the fucking time quietly scratching the dogs' fucking belly RIGHT in front of my fucking door (thank god i didn't fap during that time)
>Ask her what the fuck she is doing
>"Oh you know anon i've got liek sooo much work and shit down there"
>"Yeah but it's fucking 8am in the morning on the weekend"
>Blah blah meaningless pseudo-defensive emotionally charged bullshit female patronizing drivel
>Okay.png
>Blah blah smalltalk
>Says she's going to vacuum all the floors too now
>Her blabbering ends up making so much noise again dad wakes up and comes downstairs too
>I now have to wait for several more hours until i'm free to masturbate without fear of being caught
I guess this was a mixed deal though, she wasn't drunk and sleeping again in front of the PC tonight like she usually does when it's the weekend, but since she hasn't intoxicated herself again the night before now she's up this fucking early doing all this other shit instead
Smdh
I was not destined to even remotely experience any kind of joy on this shitty little miserable planet it seems
Lots of women do enjoy the feeling of dominance Dave, have you asked her directly how she liked it?
>>24925217
>>24925284
I'm trying to, lack motivation. Started reading Redpill stuff lately. Good info there, but still got a problem losing that extra 8KGs of fat.
Altough, i used to be 130, now i'm 83, goal is 75 before i start lifting
Ever considered moving out? I mean it's a big step but it could potentially save you some grief.
Can I get some jalapeno poppers? I'm a sucker for jalapeno poppers.
Tonight was a decent night.
I discovered that thekiefI have isfar stronger than I thought it would beand I gothigherthan I have been in a really long time. Read two more volumes of Berserk and had a good fap. Debating now between either playing Maplestory or making a sandwich.
>>24925411
Jalapeno poppers coming right up, would you like a drink to wash that down with?
>>24925416
Glad to hear it! Interested in any of our sandwiches? It could save you some time, and our cooks in the back are great.
>>24925420
Just leave a bottle of Crown Royal Black and a glass, thanks.I'm 25 and starting college next semester. I'm scared out of my wits because I've always been nervous and it's going to be weird hanging around these people who are so much younger than me.
>>24925382
she likes it when im a little rough with her which im pretty good at. we usually have sex 2-4 times a week. but today (when she was playing with my butthole and in control) we did it four times. we talk about sex and ik how she likes it, but this is the first time she dominated me uk? I dont know how i feel about it. should i feel unmanly?
>>24925438
Ah, great choice!
Eh, don't worry about it, fact of the matter is you're going to college, and that's a step in the right direction no matter what. What are you taking there?
>>24925461
No way, Dave, there's nothing unmanly about letting your girl take control, is this the first time you two have experimented?
>>24925463
A Computer Systems Technician course. I'd been thinking about it for a few years. Only figured out what I wanted to do back in 2012 or so. Talked to my uncle's brother at Christmas dinner last year and he's in that field. Pays really well and he likes it. My little brother's going into his third year in the course, too.
>>24925339
I suppose making sex 28 times a week is worth a finger up your arse, even more if your GF is hot, but if not, tell her not to do it always, like once a week. And don't get butt plugs, that's really not ok.
>>24925396
You need to set small objectives. Like first, get /fit/, then save up 6k, then take a small holiday and think about a new job and how to get the knowledge needed for that job. It's all a question of one thing at a time. Full focus on one thing, and then another. Think about how it will be good and worth it, never fails to me.
>>24925438
It's gonna be fine, it will be great. So, what type of College are you going to, law, computer science, math...?
>>24925498
Definitely no shortage of jobs in that field, is it a four year program?
>>24925486
we did anal on her a few years back but she really didnt like it. but yea this is the first time ive had anything in my butt. she really liked that though which i wasnt expecting
>>24925519
It's just the local college.
>>24925527
Two years with an optional third.
>>24925519
why do you say that about buttplugs? i dont know much about them
>>24925545
A buddy of mine went to college at age 29, he said that his age helped him voluntarily stay out of the early 20's party scene down there, graduated with top honours. Depends what your into though.
>>24925564
It doesn't seem very nice to me. I feel like I wouldn't like it, but if you don't get triggered by that like I do, go ahead.
>>24925570
I'm not really a party guy. It's a long drive, though, so I'll probably be bringing in this thing to play between classes. Loaded it up with PS1 stuff. Gonna get myself a bigger microSD soon so I can hold all the stuff I might want.
>>24925629
Nothing beats the PS1 classics, what did you have in mind?
>>24925647
Well, right now I've got a bunch on it. Mostly limited by space.
>Azure Dreams
>Crash 1-3
>Einhander
>Grandia
>Guardian's Crusade
>Mega Man Legends
>Parappa
>Resident Evil
>Spyro 1-2
>Tekken 3
Going to put FF7 and FF9 on there at some point too.
>>24925680
Almost jealous of your selection there! Mega Man always brings me back to those simple days, sounds like your commute will be quite a bit better than mine, I usually just play some shitty music on my phone while on the bus.
>>24925539
with women you never really know, and as long as it wasn't a man doing it, you can still mark it down as a straight encounter
>>24925723
It's about a 45-minute drive, yeah. Not worth it to leave when I've got a 1-2 hour break.
barkEAP
I AM DRUNK NOW
NO MORE PATRON ANEJOS
>>24925967
Yeah, I supposes so, so sgiidkcu di with alk thr douudnd back
>>24926007
Guys, I think he just had a stroke.
THE ALCOHOL
IS KICKING IN MORE NOW
I NEED PIZZA OR CHINESE FOOD
NO ONE IS DELIVERING NOW
>>24926063
NO
I NEED INDIAN CURRY
UGUUUUU ITADAKIMASUUUU
Sheeiiit
I'm already drunk, just got home from the bar. It was sort of fun but honestly just wish I could sleep without getting the spins and throwing up
>>24926075
Do you really want Indian food?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_peUxE_BKcU
I could do with a cider of some sort and maybe some soup.
My day has been massively tiring.
Got any of those drop and roll drinks? The ones that cause memory loss? Cause I really need one, thanks senpai.
Here's a tip for the great service you guys bring
>>24922168
I want to drink but I shouldn't. What's the solution?
>>24922168
>That other bartender sucked. Glad you're back.
