So some poster posted in the Vocaroo thread (that just got deleted) a story about how Eggman is actually a CIA/FBI/NSA/Reptilian plant who is solely here to make people depressed.
Thoughts?
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1raB05Vqeq1
Pic related: Eggman dressed far too well for his supposed $10,000 a year income
>>24868027
>Pic related: Eggman dressed far too well for his supposed $10,000 a year income
>Implying it costs a lot of money to look like that
Eggman looks handsome in his cardigan.
>>24868059
Listen to the vacaroo
Eggman's charm and upbeat humor makes me feel better about my lot in life.
The guy in this vocaroo has an awful voice
>>24868027
>implying eggman is even a little bit well-dressed
>>24868027
why the fuck do you say car like curr
>taking a retarded post on /x/ seriously
>>24868027
that makes sense actually...
someone can't be naturally that egg-like or ugly.
I'm thinking it was the result in millions of dollars in plastic surgery and human-egg DNA experimentation...
>tfw eggman will be the next bond villain
Eggman if you're reading this then they clearly know. Abort.
Begin stage C immediately.
>>24868166
>>24868131
>>24868099
>>24868094
>>24868059
eggman samefagging
if i can find that pic of eggman with the CIA agents I will post it.
it's time to expose that two-face lying piece of shit eggman
>>24868302
His agency wouldn't have allowed him to be so compromised during the UCC Shooting.
>>24868073
You were bullied into calling it a cardigan.
I'm not an fbi agent
I'm just a zionist jew
>>24869321
You forgot your trip, jew.
>>24868502
It's a shawl neck. Eggy looks very dapper.
>>24868027
dressed far too well? he looks like a grandma in that
We should crowd source him a new wardrobe. I'm ready for some GQ Eggy.
>>24869383
A shawl collar cardigan. We can both be right. But I'm righter.
>>24869613
yes, correct. Eggy looks fab in it pham.
You just know Egg is crushing pussy in that qt sweater.
>>24869659
I never said he didn't. Ok I did, but that was last week. I was still jealous back then.
>>24868027
>Eggman is actually a CIA/FBI/NSA/Reptilian plant who is solely here to make people depressed.
If that's true then they should fire his ass because he only makes me feel better about myself.
>>24869680
It's a cardigan, not a sweater.
>>24869736
cardigan is a type of sweater pham. And that hunky egg-man fills up every inch of it.
>>24869736
keep hearing about carigans being mixed in with looking gay or old or both not sure i fi should keep the one i own
I thought his parents were rich?
>>24869809
I yield.
>>24869932
u have to be an alpha male like Eggy to pull it off.
>>24869707
top kek.
fuck you why did japanm00t turn on robot9k again?
>>24869975
untrue
I look fucking good in a cardigan m8, and I'm beta af
>>24870121
Do you look good in all sweaters or just cardigans?
Pepe should get a cool cardigan like Eggy.
>>24870135
I only have one other jumper, but I think I look alright in it
>>24869447
We should at least design Eggy a wardrobe using that anime avatar creator thingy
I think Versace would flatter the egg. As loud and ostentatious as possible.
>getting influenced that much by a /r9k/ poster
Umm yea... something is wrong with you if this applies.
>>24870224
No, we need to get him ready to interview. A few collared shirts and some proper undershirts. Maybe a necktie.
>>24870271
No way. Eggy is too fabulous for a life of wagekekery.
Does Eggman wear autism jeans?
>>24868059
um have you seen how may hits the black pill vid has? Eggy is set for life.
>>24868027
the theory is too stupid to even be funny. If eggman actually has more cash than he gets from a minimum wage job it's far more likely he's a meth dealer than an fbi.
Plus the whole herpaderp, why is eggman here, he's a normie. Most of the board is normies you fucking mongoloid. Though I understand why idiots keep posting this: to bump eggman threads without seeming to because they literally want to suck his cock, that is why you posted this thread right?
>>24870322
Check out his dapper leggings. Are they slacks?
>>24870301
A necktie might get caught in the drawer of the cash register. It's a safety hazard.
>>24868027
I like eggman, yet id like to see the post the vocaroo talks about, it seems sorta fun
>>24868027
>no posts in /x/ archive
stop shilling your stupid vocaroo
egg looks like young stoned mr. rogers. he is qt3.14
>>24870360
eggman wears leggings?!?!
>>24870407
let's be honest, Eggman's cardigan is the real star of this thread.
this got posted in the last thread
who made it?
>>24870721
Now, what weapon would Eggman use?
>>24870751
He can only operate a cash register, so that
>>24868027
This does raise a good question about how Eggy is paying for his Lexus and recent lifestyle.
If Eggy is going to beg for money like he did in recent videos, I think he should note that he's been (or even still is) being supported by his parents.
>tfw eggman is going to kill himself this august
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSLeBAhDUxc
>>24870870
You must be really dumb and especially new to this place if you believe him.
I saw Eggman at a Kwik Trip in Minnesota yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn't want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, "Oh, like you're doing now?"
I was taken aback, and all I could say was "Huh?" but he kept cutting me off and going "huh? huh? huh?" and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like "Sir, you need to pay for those first." At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually "to prevent any electrical infetterence," and then turned around and winked at me. I don't even think that's a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
You know who else is an FBI reptilian? Me egg :^)
>>24870855
It's not difficult to pay for a fictional lexus.
>>24870870
What video is that comment on? Eggman really is retarded if he tried to hook up with gay men on craigslist and wants to commit sudoku for money. What employer would hire him after seeing these videos?
>>24870870
someone should pay eggman to cut off his right hand so he can't fap anymore kek
>>24870948
he posted a youtube link
>>24870913
what is eggy wearing on his egg head?
>>24870913
You Know to much!
>>24870971
I must be retarded also. That comment didn't show up for me until just now.
>>24871010
Would you a eggman sister?
>>24870913
Who knew Eggy was such a diva? The fame has gone to his head.
>>24871069
Is she a Reptilian too?
>>24871069
I'd fuck Mystery.jpg
She has a nice body and I could live with her face. Her personality is total shit though. Roofies would be a must.
>>24871190
dude ive never seen her face post pics
>>24870913
is there more to the story?
>>24871208
If we talk about her too much we will summon her. We must be careful.
Let's get some OC pastas in here.
I'll start with some pastas that I created myself about Eggman.
I recently met Eggman downtown while he was giving out leaflets from the KKK. When I approached him to talk about political stuff, he freaked out immediately. "No, I won't sign a leaflet for you", he said.
I was confused because neither did I want him to sign anything, nor did I talk about his fame on /r9k/.
He continued ranting about me, "Just look at you, typical student. Eating cereal and riding a bicycle. I hate slobs like you!"
Then he hit me in the face several times and one of my teeth broke and I spat blood. "What the fuck, you're spitting on me?! I don't have to put up with this! I am Eggman and I'll teach you a lesson!", he said while raging.
Then he pulled out a gun and hit me with it again several times in the head and pointed at me, while laughing like a psycho.
I knew it was a real 9MM gun and I rode my bike to get away from him. Later Eggman claimed it wasn't a real gun but I know that he's lying. Since then I suffer from severe anxiety and PTSD when I go downtown.
>>24871181
>white socks
>loafers
wew
eggbro is depressed, much like the rest of us. He is obsessed with finding a woman to be in a relationship with him. We have discussed this plenty, we have each other on Snapchat, talked on Tinychat plenty, he's not a bad guy. Everyone has their faults. He isn't a conspiracy, he did get fucked over by the news, but couldn't do anything because his name was never mentioned. He made himself popular on a board that now has negative connotations with society (the Oregon shooting of course), and he has tried to move beyond it and live his life elsewhere.
I'm just speaking the truth. Women are cunts, so it's not entirely his fault. If you see this post, eggbro, you know the bro with ms is on your side and I wish only the best for you - especially getting in a loving relationship.
Good luck, pal
>>24871306
Isn't he in a loving relationship with his current gf?
>>24871274
never seen this pic before
why is he sitting on the back all alone looking at pics of himself? jesus christ, that is sad..
>>24871355
He's a narcissist who was born fuck ugly.
>>24871274
eggy looks super keked. like JC Penny men's dept level keked.
>>24871404
but no autism shoes. just autism socks
>>24871436
egg looks like a middle management wage slave, not an autistic retard.
>>24871270
I once met Eggman in the movie theatres. They played Captain America and Eggy had already drank a lot of alcohol. He acted like a 15 year old, threw popcorn at other people, played with his phone and made inappropriate jokes. At some point the person in front of him was having enough and complained to him. Eggman then kicked his seat with full power and insulted him like I've never heard before. It was unbelievable. After a moment of shock the man tried to defend himself by holding Eggman down until the Security arrived.
Eggman managed to get out of his clutch while his "Death to the normies" shirt ripped, making his upper body with all sorts of horrible tattoos visible. I remember a swastika and a crucified dog.
When the security finally arrived and him laying on the ground with a bleeding nose, I thought he was finally gonna be arrested, but I was wrong. Eggman jumped over four seat rows, snatched a pack of nachos from a child and threw the dip at the security guards. They dodged it and ran after him. Shortly before he arrived at the emergency exit he threw a bunch of USB-sticks at the security guards which caused them to trip. With manic laughter and a "genetically inferior" he passed through the door and managed to escape.
>>24871306
So did a cunt make him depressed and suicidal or is it his shitty no-skill jobs?
>you will never double team prostitutes with eggy
>>24871515
>middle management
Let's be realistic pham. Maybe lower-middle management. Eggman looks like the kind of guy who when he is 35 will be managing a Payless.
>>24871677
Yeah, and if you bring your daughter he'll be overly helpful and try to touch her feet.
moar rare eggys plz
>>24868027
>is solely here to make people depressed.
He left months ago
>>24871550
I once met Eggman at the airport, while we were waiting in line at the Check-In. I look at him for a while to make sure it was actually Eggman before I approach him. He noticed that I was staring at him and he looked at me with a disgusted look. Then he yelled at me, asking if a dirty normalfag such as me has nothing better to do. When it was his turn at the line he asked the friendly stewardess if he can get a first class upgrade for free, which they had to decline. When we entered the plane, he almost drank everything in the bar alone. When the stewardess refused to give him another cognac, he yelled at her: "Are you out of your mind, I'm paying here with donations from robots for a little bit of service, you old trolley dolly!"
Then another passenger intervened and asked him to show some good manners. Eggman's face turned red and he roared: "Huh, who the fuck are you?!" and grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt. Then he beat his head against the wall a few times.
Then he jumped up, ripped his "Death to the normies" shirt up and tackled the stewardess. Then he kicked the trolley down and injured several passengers that way. After that happened, he grabbed the microphon and said: "Listen up everybody, I'm Eggman and if ya'll won't donate some money right now I'm gonna drive to your home and kill your dog!"
Shortly after that a bag was filled with a few thousand dollars and handed to him. He grabbed it with a greedy look in his eyes, took a parachute and jumped out of the plane. His last words were: "Goodbye losers, and don't forget - GENETICALLY INFERIOR!".
Probably his parents buying him clothes to try and make him normie.
>>24871836
Eggman and family.
more Eggy in sweaters
>>24871999
He's too well dressed there. This can't be real. He's got to be from old money or the CIA.
>>24871999
hummmmmm
there's no way eggman is in his 20's
the only normal looking person it this pic is eggman brother the others looks like a hybrid of a man and pig
>>24872020
Might be last one I have.
>>24872114
meant to reply to
>>24871999
sorry for bad english
>>24871999
La familia huevos!
>>24871978
Last week a user named "Eggy" logged into the children's chatroom that me and few others were moderating. Shortly after we got several complaints that he was harassing children via private messages.
He introduced himself as a "e-celebrity", "Youtuber" and "aspiring rapper" and that he was looking for child models for his future campaigns. He also sent them pictures of his naked genitalia and asked for the same in return. When the children refused, he reacted with lots of insults. He said that he wasn't asking for "anything other than your dad or your brother hadn't seen already anyway".
When we confronted him about this he stuttered something about "investigative journalism" and disconnected immediately.
>>24871999
Eggy in a qt argyle.
Egg's bro looks like chad w/ downs.
>FBI too disconnected with Internet pop culture
>needs someone on the inside who would "fit in" with the most likely people to commit mass shootings
>acts as a recon agent that looks/acts the part of a depressed NEET
>gathers information about possible shootings or happenings, reports back to the Beta Uprising Tactical Team or BUTT
>Eggman inadvertently becomes a 4chan meme
>the_mission_is_compromised.egg
>Eggman is to be killed before exposing BUTT or other government secrets
>fakes his death, government not out to assassinate him anymore
>Eggman lives as a NEET sitting in his safe house being comfy
>>24872127
Egg looks like Truman Capote here.
egg sister with her bf perhaps?
>>24872366
That nigga got lego hair.
>>24868027
>Pic related: Eggman dressed far too well for his supposed $10,000 a year income
he's in a clothing store you fucking morons.
>>24872366
maybe eggy's younger brother again?
>>24872366
None of them know how to wear a necktie. Plebs
i feel like a real fucking asshole for making this pic
i'm sorry eggman
>>24872163
A while ago I met Eggman at the hospital. He was standing in front of the reception desk and had an argument with the nurse. The young woman at the desk was looking pretty intimidated but was still trying to say something back to him.
She told him several times to look at the contract that he signed. He was serviced and now he has to pay the bill. Eggman just didn't want to understand the matter. After all, he was advertising worldwide for this hospital on his Youtube channel.
All of this went on for around 15 more minutes when Eggman finally left, seemingly very angry.
I was glad that it was finally my turn and the young nurse apologized for the inconvenience and I was just about to tell her about my case.
Then it happened. Eggman broke through the door with a camera on his shoulder, wildly yelling that he's not gonna put up with such an injustice. He ran towards the nurse asking what this hospital was thinking for practicing such unfair methods that drive simple Youtubers into debt and that she might as well work at Auschwitz-Birkenau.
He ran around and demanded to talk to a "Doctor Mengele". Before he could cause more mischief the security finally arrived. Eggman was yelling that he was just denouncing the fascist methods of this hospital and that he was just resisting passively, exactly like Mandela and Gandhi.
When the security guards came closer to him he thew the camera and one guard and tried to get to the exit door. The other one was able to knock him down though. He started to scream immediately that he may be arrested but the resistance will continue. Apparently he also shat his pants then.
I was really shocked about Eggman's behaviour. I unsubscribed his Youtube channel and I have to say, I'm deeply disappointed of him.
>>24872490
Eggy is not wearing a belt. Just baka senpai.
Young Egg.
>>24872163
I was in a local Korean place once when Eggman walked in. I didn't really want to bug him, but I wasn't sure it was actually him or not so I guess I gave him a look with a wondering expression. He took it pretty aggressively, said "what, you've never met a famous person before you autist?" and called my sister an inferior normie. I did'nt really want to get in a confrontation so I just kept quiet until he fucked off and ordered his food. The card he used first was also declined and he flipped right out at the poor cashier, demanding they give him free food in exchange for some free publicity if he made a video there. They looked scared and confused so I just did them a a favor and payed for eggys food so he would leave. He didn't even say thanks.
I thought eggman would be a pretty chill dude, but it turns out he's an asshole.
>mfw he ordered kimchi with fried egg on the side
>>24872522
they are wearing identical pants.
>>24872500
that thicket of brambles is a great backdrop
>>24872500
XD nice bro!!
>>24872536
he's the cutest baby there
where did everything go so wrong?
>>24872536
A sweatered Egg is a qt Egg
>>24872587
Eggy was keked by inferior genes.
>>24872587
GENETICALLYwll you know the rest
why is she so pig like?
Does eggy smoke his angsty cigarettes while wearing his qt sweaters?
>>24872536
where did it go wrong??
>>24872657
I feel bad but I want to see what Eggy's mom looks like
>>24872706
you're in luck senpai
>>24872587
I think the cutest babies make for the ugliest people.
I was a fucking adorable baby / young kid, now I'm pretty ugly. The rest of my family is the opposite, they were some ugly, ugly kids but turned out objectively good looking.
>>24872515
I met Eggman around a year ago at a movie studio of a war movie. He was supposed to play a corpse, just a background character, you know? Obviously Eggman didn't like this at all. He went to the director, who was sitting on his chair, kicked him to the ground and started to yell: "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM? I am EGGMAN, e-celebrity, Youtuber and aspiring rapper! How in the world can a movie be produced here in which I don't play the main character?!". He yelled this while kicking the director with his boots in the head.
He then picked up the chair, sat on it, and ordered the main character to get him some free cocktails, who obeyed him because he feared him after this "incident".
After a while the producer arrived at the studio and was able to make a compromise with Eggman. And so was the movie produced without him but instead they bought him a few things to produce music, with which he is producing his rap songs today.
What I found curious was, that he was walking around in an SS-uniform all day even though the movie was taking place at a time of the Napoleon wars.
Another young egg.
>>24872734
>tan lines
Are we sure Eggy wasn't adopted?
>>24872657
is little brother is taller than him, and a chad?
>>24872734
I wonder if his family knows about his videos, and what they think about them?
>>24872832
Since they're leaving him to rot on the street, I'd assume they care little for eggman's future.
Egg probably doesn't give a shit what his parents think as of now.
>>24872832
they look so Midwestern and wholesome. i bet they would ban him from being alone with small children in the family.
>>24868027
What the fuck Eggman looks like a thin, younger Stephen Fry.
>>24872811
top fucking kek
the only thing eggman has is his big ugly egg shapped head xD
Eggman and family visit Barn Bluff.
>>24872881
They took him to dinner for his birthday
>>24872734
Eggy's family isn't even ugly. How was he the only one to inherit those sunken eyes? Poor Eggy.
>>24872657
Eggman's brother looks like a fucking Chad
Eggman most be jealous
I still don't get why he would wear this outfit.
I wonder who he made take his jumping picture.
>>24872948
Really, he should be grateful they fed his genetically inferior ass for one day.
>>24872932
Eggy looks like he went turbowigger
>>24872773
Recently I was visiting a well-known porn movie theatre. A few seats next to me was someone who looked exactly like Eggman. Naturally, as a huge Eggman fan, I didn't want to waste this chance to get closer to my idol. So I sat next to him and started to caress his dick. He touched me too pretty early and so we jerked each other off. I couldn't believe it, I held Eggmans penis in the hand! He was smaller than I expected but that didn't kill my fun. When I told him that I knew he was Eggman, he mumbled something along the lines of "be glad that I'm horny, else I would have broken your nose now". I didn't know what to think of that. Long story short - we went to my place. It was really nice. I also found his suggestion to play his videos on my TV while we were fucking interesting. He said that he "does it better" when he sees himself in the TV. He also wanted to be called "The Egg" when he was taking the role of the man. And when he was bottom, he wanted to be called "Kate". I don't exactly know why but I thought it was pretty cute.
Next morning he left very early. I hope I meet him again some time.
Are you man enough robots?
>>24872932
Look how his "mother" shies away from his hand, her body language is crystal clear. Must've been a rough childhood.
>>24873099
How many of us are the black sheep?
>>24873079
I wonder how hard I could punch her face.
>>24872811
>>24872793
>>24873121
>>24873099
He was adopted and he's a crackbaby.
His mom is a mailman.
I'm preparing myself for wigger egg.
>>24872932
is that guy that took the pic the little brother? how is he part of the family? he's a total chad.
>>24872932
What u fools talkin about. How retarded exactly are you? That is a Midwestern meatball, not Chad.
>>24873219
He's just a normie fuccboi from the midwest.
>>24872657
is eggmans little brother hiding his egg head with his hair?
>>24873022
I got know Eggman at a synagogue. He seemed like a hard-working and very religious person. One day, the rabbi was holding a speech, Eggman drew bad attention to him. He always started laugh loudly when the rabbi was talking about charity and was generally very disturbing due to inappropriate jokes. Suddenly he got up and went to the rabbi and threw him off the pulpit. He then started to hold a very racist speech about goyim. He continued to talk while getting angrier and angrier. He then demanded that we all harm the non-jews as much as possible. He also made suggestions on how to scam them, for example by lying to be "poor" to get donations. We weren't frowned upon these ideas generally but Eggman was even for a jew, way too greedy, tricky and arrogant. Due to that we banned him from the synagogue.
Since then we get bomb threats every now and then and also cut off pig heads get thrown through our windows.
We haven't been able to prove it's him yet but the police is working on it.
>>24873407
>>24873022
>>24872773
>>24872515
>>24872163
>>24871978
>>24871550
>>24871270
Anyone want me to write more?
comfy egg
reeeedeeedeededooo
LEAVE THIS PLACE
>>24873447
if you're up for it.
>>24873452
kek my sides
thank you senpai desu
>>24873464
I'm definitely up for it to write some more. But I want some feedback. Is it funny? I guess the grammar isn't that gud since English isn't my first language.
>>24873486
not that other anon but i'm saving your stories so i can read them tomorrow when i ride the bus home.
continue if you want but don't force yourself anon
>>24873546
I'm not forcing myself, m8. The question was if I should write more right now. Else I would write some more later that day.
I'll dump them in all future Eggman threads. I find them funny personally and they have a bit of truth in them.
>>24873447
>>24873464
I'm this solo post
>>24872538
Admit it, I am clearly the superior penman here, quantity of your posts can not compare to my remarkable lexicon *tips fedora*
I might write some more too. Anything to procrastinate studying some more.
>>24873596
write a story about how you met eggy's cardigan
*buttons cardigan*
>>24872966
>>24872127
Literally, if eggman just wore eye glasses to cover up his dark circles and lost some weight, he would be a 6, maybe even a 7
So many rare eggys itt
>>24873720
he really should lose weight
>>24872734
looks like a fat ellen degeneres
I saw him at SGDQ. I was too beta to say hi.
Eggy needs to abandon his explorations with facial hair.
>>24873930
pretty genetically inferior tbhf
>car insurance is 2000 a year
>gas is 2000 a year
This guy is just a dumbass who doesn't live in the real world. Unless you drive 40 minutes to work and from work every day, gas is like $50 a month with a car. Insurance on a car is about $100 a month.
>>24868027
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMQK2sVxf2A
a real human bean
>>24868027
>/x/
dropped.
>>24873626
I met eggman once. I mean I get he is somewhat online famous, but the dude literally had a bigger ego than Kanye. I was in H&M checking out clothes, and had a cardigan catch my eye. I tried on a medium, but it fit too tightly so I asked the nice sales-lady if they had any larges left. She returned with one and said I was in luck as it was the only one left. Then, out of nowhere, another guy who was also shopping yelled out "ITS A LARGE? YOU HAVE A LARGE??!" She looked a bit shocked as he snatched it out of her hands, I was a bit dumbfounded at first - after all a stranger just stole the cardigan she brought out for me - but I knew I had to say something. I politely tell him that the shirt was intended for me, then he absolutely flipped out. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" he retorted... That was when I realized it. I was talking to the one and only eggman! I was still pissed about the sweater so I pretended I didn't know him, and me and the saleslady both asked for the cardigan back. "I AM AN INTERNET FAMOUS COMEDIAN AND I HAVE YOUTUBE, YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE THIS" is his civil response. I then shrugged and let it go, because really I have a great life and hey - if the sweater makes eggman momentary happy - maybe he needs it because that dude was a prick.
On the plus side, I got a 10$ gift card from the saleslady for being so civil with the guy. I hope he understands that he really isn't that famous, and even if he was that's no way to treat other people.
And that's the story of how I met Eggmans cardigan.
>>24868027
People actually took that normie seriously?
Dude had sex two times. Fuck that nigga and his stupid ass theories.
>>24873626
done
>>24875535
Taking more requests if anyone is bored.
>>24875605
Swimming at beach when unexpectedly eggman floats into you in the water.
>tfw uglier than Egg
Well, if he's incapable of finding love, then I certainly am as well. Bad feels all around.
shit this would explain why i replay his vids over and over
this shits real its scaring me.. his car is a pontiac btw im pretty sure im good at identifiying cars
>>24868027
I don't think theres anything conspiracy wise going on when it comes to eggman he's just an anomoly of r9k like many before him
>>24868027
>24868027
>Speakers are shit so need them at 50%
>Need to still crank up pc volume to 50 to even listen well to audio
>Play vocaroo
>HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE EGG -
>Speakers nearly get blown out
T-thanks it's not like my speakers were expensive or something.
>>24868027
>Government agent trying to make people depressed
In what fucking universe does that make fucking sense. They would want people happy, because unhappy people get unhappy with the system and start making unhappy thoughts about correcting it.
>>24875651
will work on after homework is done, stay tuned folks.
>>24871677
He looks like the guy you'd find working in the desk in the alcove by itself.
>>24874179
My insurance is 900 every 6 months, but I have a nicer car than you.
>>24872536
>how white people smile when you pass by them on the sidewalk.jpg
>eggman's face right now
>>24872366
i thought eggsister was just a meme. all the other ones people used to post were fake though
>>24876779
yeah they were fakes like pic.
>>24872932
where the fuck are all these rare family eggs coming from? did someone just find a fresh carton
>>24876814
I got an egg for you.
>>24876972
where are they coming from though? are these eggs freshly laid?
Eggman is actually an seventh human/grey alien hybrid, the first stages were overlooked by the insectoid aliens, however the later generations are now abandoned to live among human beings and wait for orders for the happendings. He's an expected hero, without knowing it, he still managed to gather a following of like-minded folk online to enjoy his videos, despite looking slightly deformed because of his alien DNA. Soon, when the happening begins, Eggman will be our leader in grey times by posting threads that will direct us to UFO craft where we will be taken to safety away from total nuclear annihilation and apocalypse to live in a secret alien moon facility on the dark side of the moon with our hero eggy, The aliens will teach us to use superior mind controlled technologies and we will be able to simulate our own companions, essentially waifus that are physically manifested from your thoughts. You will basically get to live in robots paradise, no need to work, just be NEET all day with Eggy and other robots.
>>24876972
never seen this one before
thanks for the rare eggs my friend
I wonder which son they're more proud of.
>>24876972
that looks like a pretty nice family 2bh
>tfw mine is always screaming at each other all the time
>>24877048
Obviously eggy for his sick raps
Vintage sis.
>>24877184
Ive already starting writing an erotic fanfic I'm going to email to Eggy about the graphic details of eggys sisters getting fucked for the first time by Chad,
>>24875988
Then you're seriously wasting money, lolkucked by a corp. I pay 1200 a year in insurance but if i wanted a nicer car i could afford up to 8,000 a year total. I'd rather save it since I'm not some loser obsessed with the rat race :p
>>24877213
Plz post those now
>>24877213
Her feet in orange.
>>24877242
>young eggy in his room at night, about 4 am on a saturday morning
>two sisters returning drunk from their friday night out with their friends, each have a boy they take to their room
>eggy puts his headphones on and pretends he cant hear them
>shit
>this egg needs to take a leak
>reaches down beside him and find there are no empty piss bottles
>he sighs and walks out to the bathroom
>walking down the hall past his sisters rooms he can hear their moans getting louder through their doors
>he could hear the whispers of Brad, a tall older handsome boy who owned a car and played alot of hockey while he fucked the oldest in eggys house
>he turned back to his room in rage, tears streaming down his face
>unlocking a case under his bed he pulls out a semi-automatic pistol
Thread is getting creepy desu.
>>24868027
Eggman never affected me, at least not bad.
If he CIA/FBI/NSA plant, so just think about him as a puppet and they gonna dump him when they done with him. it's will make you feel better
>>24871355
He's taking selfies retard
>>24871999
Would: the whole family
>>24871999
cheaper by the half half dozen lel
>>24871999
eggman here looks like their grandpa kek
>>24877347
this
i can't even fall asleep anymore because i feel eggmans eyes on me right now
>>24875651
>>24875921
I met the Eggman once.
I was enjoying the sunshine, minding my own business wading in the ocean with my friends when the eggman bumped into me with a boogie-board. "s-sure is warm in here, amiright?" he said. I wasn't really to sure who he was talking too, if anyone, and nobody really responded. He then got visibly flustered and repeated himself "SURE IS WARM IN HERE AM I NOT RIGHT GUYS?" It was then I noticed the droopy, sad eyes, the large forehead, and the recessive chin. Holy shit, I thought to myself, it's the eggman!
I decided to break the nervous tension of the moment by cracking an egg joke. "It sure is warm in here, hell it's probably hot enough to boil an egg" I said. I thought he might get a kick out of it, but I got the opposite reaction I was hoping for. He fumed silently for a minute or two, then had an angry emotional outburst - demanding I pay him money for using his name in a joke, asking who I was filming for, and threatening to take my videos off youtube. I've never uploaded a video in my life, and I tried telling him that but he only got more aggravated, thinking I was filming him the whole time as part of a prank. I don't know how he thought I would even be hiding a fucking camera while swimming in the middle of nowhere.
I swam back to the beach, but he followed me demanding the footage. "MY NAME IS MY COPYRIGHT" he kept saying. He wouldn't leave me alone so eventually I had to phone the police and they picked him up and took him away. The funny thing is he didn't even realize the police were there to take him away until they already handcuffed him, he is so delusional he was thoroughly convinced someone phoned the cops to warn of my "illegal photographing" and he demanded the police arrest me and seize my belongings. It was the weirdest day of my life.
>>24877630
Giving me Tarantino vibes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxYHxJahzmU
>>24877347
Is that jimmy iovine?
Why do you hate this guy so much?
>>24872734
The hen who laid eggy keked his dad. He looks nothing like them in this picture.
>>24870913
Nice copypasta bro now leave
