I found out a couple hours ago that my unborn son, which will be born in about two months, has trisomy 13, which basically means that he most likely won't live past the age of 1.
I know this is probably a bad place to ask for tips on how to deal with this, but I would like to keep myself anonymous, and not talk to my family or friends yet. My girlfriend is doing better than me, so I'm actually not worried about her right now. Call me selfish, but that's how it is.
I've been watching Adventure Time to keep myself distracted so far. Getting drunk is out of the question (got work tomorrow). Bought my first pack of cigarettes since I quit three years ago.
TL;DR: My unborn son will not live long. What do I do to get through the next couple of weeks?
That's some heavy Shi man. I don't think is this best place to ask this considering none of us are ever going to reproduce let alor9kalone Have sex.
>>24862182
you just keep going
I had twin sons born at 26 weeks on the cusp of viability thanks to twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. I was lucky in that they both survived, but I remember being told by 15+ doctors odds were low they'd live.
I just went into zombie mode and lived life and just took the blows as they came.
>Implying he's your son
Drop the cigs, it'll only make things worse in the long run
Sorry to be this edgy, but how can you even care that much? If he's going to die in less than a year, it can't even show any other emotion than discontent. It will be like a screaming, smelly, hairless cat.
>I know this is probably a bad place to ask for tips on how to deal with this
It definitely is. Please post on /adv/ or reddit (yes, I know).
I had a nephew with trisomomy 18, he lasted a few weeks.
My wife and I lost twin boys in the second trimester.
Just do what you can and be there for her. Everything else is empty words.
>>24862300
That is beyond edgy. You edged yourself back to b.
>>24862300
that isn't edgy its just retarded. enjoy your soullessness.
Everything you taste and feel in this world will be but ash upon your tongue. Enjoy!
>>24862182
Meh, babies used to die so often that parents didn't even name them until after a while. You should just treat this as though you never had a son, at least internally. Treat it the same as if your wife had miscarried a couple of months into the pregnancy, because the end result will be the same.
1) Throw away your cigarettes. Smoking them will only make it worse.
2) Good job on deciding not to drink, especially in this time. It'll only throw up red flags for the people around you, it'll also just make you numb to the pain temporarily and drag it along.
I'm not a medical doctor, but you should seek the comfort of your girlfriend, then eventually close loved ones. Maybe even therapy or a support group would help
Make sure he doesn't die a virgin
You had a son. Having children is literally the most morally unjustifiable, evil thing that anyone can do. Fuck you and fuck your wife, I hope she miscarries every time, you pathetic sack of dog shit
>>24862372
What keeps you breathing?
>>24862340
>Everything you taste and feel in this world will be but ash upon your tongue.
Full Fedora
>>24862398
My bodily functions. Are you implying that because I recognize that it's morally wrong to force someone to live, I have no purpose in life?
There's only one choice. You're going to have to mercy kill it.
>>24862411
You hate reproduction therefore you hate life even if you enjoy your own.
>>24862182
you are a faggot
kill yourself now
I don't want to go into details, but I was in similar situation as yourself, OP.
The short of it is, tell yourself these two things. In the older times, children were often times left to die or abandoned or killed because of genetic defects. Beyond that, even if you did care for him he would eat up so much of your time that any other children or your wife would simply... be negatively affected.
On that note, this has the potential to completely change your relationship with your wife. So during this time, make damn sure you pay her more attention than normal, on the off chance she gets emotional (for some unknown reason).
The short of it is, at this point there's nothing you can do for him. There are still things you can do for yourself and her though.
If you're anything like me, I recommend breaking down and crying and apologizing to him and that it's all somehow your fault. Because you will. And you will feel that way.
But try to do it where no one else can see you at least.
I hope this doesn't break you. Take solace in the fact that unlike what I may have said above, this actually *isn't* your fault though.
In my case I was able to break because the gf left me (technically, before this happened). In your case though, make sure to plan and measure your weakness moments because you'll have someone still relying on you.
>having kids
You deserve the pain you feel right now x1000 forever because you're forcing another person to go through the same hell you did but worse because you're a shitty parent.
Kill your whore, your son, and then yourself.
>>24862458
Life isn't anything of value. We're fucking monkeys. How blue pilled are you?
If all sentient life on Earth suddenly died painlessly, can you honestly say anything of value would be lost? If so, I have some penis enhancing pills and holy water to sell you.
Take care of your wife and make another one.
>>24862487
This. Fuck you OP, I hope you die in a car crash. Slowly, not on impact.
>>24862182
Better than losing someone you've spent years or decades getting attached to. Not trying to be edgy here, just saying that putting things in perspective might help dealing with it. Babies died in droves throughout human history, i'm sure you can handle it. Don't let it get to you and keep looking forward, nothing of it is your fault.
just make another one
OP here. I'm already seeing a therapist on a regular basis (diagnosed stable type 2 bipolar), and next session is on friday. When it comes to my girlfriend, we're helping eachother out so far - she's a lot more practically inclined than I am, while I'm the emotional one of us, so it works out in difficult situations.
And I'm actually happy to see some edge in this thread. It puts the whole thing at a distance. It's somewhat strangely comforting to know that strangers online don't give a flying fuck about my drama.
When it comes to cigarettes, I have enough self-control to quit after one pack. I just want to go zombie mode as >>24862268 said for a while. Eating, sleeping, working, just the necessities. Everything else can go to hell, at least for a few days.
>>24862501
Who hurt you? You can let your feels out.
>>24862182
remove his skull,wash it and place it proudly on your book shelf as a symbol of the white race and your genetic heritage.
>>24862372
Not easy being antinatalist in a world of people selected for and existing due to their profiency at breeding. I just gave up the whole thing when i realized most people actually don't feel miserable (even though they rationally should, the human condition and all).
CAN YOU ABORT IT?
>>24862557
It's not edge. You're forcing someone to live. You don't know if the kid will be retarded, or have a fucked up horrible painful disease, or be 5 feet tall, or be horribly ugly. You're gambling with someone else's life, and if they are born with something bad, you're forcing someone to live a horrible life.
>>24862557
I'm the edgy poster, you seem like a real man. Better luck with the next kid and all the best!
>>24862653
Btw, I did read the post and know he already is confirmed having a gimp, fucked up retard of a freak of nature son, which only proves my point that having a child is evil. I mean if he chooses to try to gamble with an unborn soul again.
>>24862182
Go abort him, Kansas has legal abortions until birth. Don't try to have a kid again, at least not with her. Her genes are shit.
>>24862182
Can you abort still? Probably should so you don't have to even see the baby and deal with that.
Also, the West has too gooey of a view on infants. Take a little from the ancient world. It's not like you have to hate babies, but they knew that sometimes it just didn't work out, which sucks, but it's not some mysterious "whyyyy meeee" ordeal. Not blaming you or trying to make you feel bad about your reaction -- I'm just pointing out a different one.
>>24862363
All of /r9k/ in one post .
Bravo!
>>24862745
OP again. Abortion is out of the question, even though I have suggested it. I'm not going to force my girlfriend to do something she does not want to do. Her body and all that jazz.
>>24862815
That's just the oxytocin talking.
Most illogical.
>>24862182
man, a kid is a mix of your genes, and it takes little effort to make one compared to raising one. it's the emotional work you put into that matters. i know the past # of months have felt futile, but if your gf is doing good, it's okay. she literally spent all this time making a child in her womb, so much physical and emotional stress. at least you CAN smoke and drink you fucking pussy. and when you do feel better, you'll make a new one. and it'll be great.
It's hard to say how you'll feel when your child dies after a short time. Will you have bonded? You and your gf will deal with it differently, but don't be surprised if it hits you or her harder than makes logical sense. You're not only losing the child, but the entire future you built for the child. And that loss is different for everyone, depending on how much they looked forward and built up in their mind. And as crazy as it is, the mourning for that loss can be intense. I hope you both can weather this storm. My only advice is, for your part anyway, is to cling to your woman and not isolate yourself in the pain. She may do that, and there's only so much you can do to help that. Be there for her. Talk about your feelings together. Cry. It's crazy, but the cathartic release of crying can be rejuvenating. No booze. No cigarettes. Those are band aids. And they'll do more harm than good.
I'm just a random guy online. But I care. If you're into religion at all, you may find some solace there. I get that not everyone is, but in my darkest times, my faith in God kept me from eating a bullet. I'm praying for you and your gf.
You deserve it for trying to bring another innocent unborn soul into this world to suffer because you're a selfish piece of shit.
Sorry to hear OP, my former relationship had child issues as well, five known miscarriages and two stillbirths.
If you have your own ways of dealing with it, that's not selfish and there's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone or cope with things on your own. Just something to consider though that your girlfriend might seem like she's coping with it, but that might be her way of dealing with the problem. I say, because while there's nothing wrong with trying to cope with the problems in your own way, at the end of the day you are each others' best way of getting through the situation, together.
Our problem cost us our relationship, because in part we couldn't help one another deal with the problem and stress.
>>24862182
I envy your unborn son greatly
>>24862815
She sounds like a fucking retard, makes sense that your son is
>>24862182
Dude, I cannot imagine. Shit.
All I can say is that you're going to find it hard to sleep for a while. Work out or something until you're absolutely exhausted, keep a light on or the TV with low volume to distract yourself.
This is hard on couples. Be patient with her, and try to recognize when you have a real problem and when it's just anger / frustration / grief and you're displacing it.
Through yourself into work, but give her time, too. Avoid being alone, get together with family, with friends.
Ah, fuck...I don't know. That's gotta be one of the most life-wrenching experiences right there. Anything I can offer seems idiotic by comparison.
>>24862182
Be happy, senpai. Kids are really annoying useless exapansive brats.
>>24863787
Wish your parents thought that way and used a condom
>>24863883
I wish it every fucking day
OP, last entry.
I've had some time to think, and I'd like to thank all of you for your kind messages. Strange as it might be, the edgy responses puts things in perspective - the world does not care, life goes on. I just have to deal with the bullshit thrown at me.
I'm going to go be with my girlfriend, smoke a cigarette, and watch some more Adventure Time.
Thank you, r9k, for being both considerate and harsh. We'll probably try again.
>>24864532
You can still abort the fetus in the following states:
Vermont
Oregon
New Mexico
New Jersey
New Hampshire
Mississippi
D.C.
Colorado
Alaska
West Virginia
Why not take care of it now, and prevent your child a miserable 1 year of existence?
>>24864532
>we'll probably try again
Better get genetic counselling first you faggot.
Have another one after the genetic failure dies. Sitting around and moping won't do anything and you obviously want to start a family, so have a nother one. Don't be like those cringeworthy couples that make memorials for the dead baby.
>>24862182
Sorry about those feels bro :/
If your son doesn't survive the year show him as much love as you can. Communicate with your girlfriend. Don't let it become something that drives you apart. She's probably feeling just as heavy as shit as you are.
>>24862372
That's eloquently put. I wish my parents never reproduced, but for all I know my consciousness would have been implanted into some other shitty body.
implying its even yours
You're still having a son.
Greet the child, try to make the best life for him even though it may be short.
Take pictures, introduce him to your family.
He may die- but there are plenty of children who perish fro SID or freak accidents, that still enrich the months they share with their parents.
>posting on 4chan with all the fat tipping m'stemlords for this
OP, I'm so sorry to hear that.
I have never been in your shoes and cannot imagine what that is like. But you will have a son. And you will love him. And you will see him smile. And he will love you. Even if you don't have long with him, there will be love and it will be special. Know that.
>my son
>believing it's even your son
>>24862182
You make another one. You have hundreds of tries.
>>24865707
No, it actually helps.
My best friend died and I cried about it on r9k, they all called me a dumb faggot and said she deserved to be worm food and was probably full to cum when she died, that I should break into the morgue, rape her body and then hang myself too with her shit and cum-filled intestines, all that horrible shit.
Other people belittling your grief makes you more ashamed to feel it, so you drift away from your feelings out of shame.
It's a healing process.
![article-1251130-084B11F9000005DC-786_634x431[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0dukG44.jpg "article-1251130-084B11F9000005DC-786_634x431[1].jpg")
As long as he's baptised and under the age of reason (commonly thought of as seven year olds), he can't go anywhere but heaven. It's enough to make me jealous of the innocent dead sometimes.
>>24862815
this has to be b8
originale commento breh
>>24863883
> he thinks this is an insult on r9k
>>24863933
absolutely, painfully, BTFO. breeders on suicide watch tbqh
>>24865907
>the child inherited the deadly condition from his father
>OP doesn't have the genetics to cause the condition
wew lad
>>24862681
>trisomy
>genetic
