I don't feel it.I simply don't.I don't understand what is wrong with me,if there is something wrong.I don't have a favourite anything.No favourite songs,movies,characters,poems,books,games,things,feelings.I don't remember.I don't know.I don't know how i got here,and i don't know where i end up spending 15 hours online.I don't watch anything,i don't spend time on anything.I don't feel anything.I don't like or dislike myself.I'm okay with it.I don't shower or change my underwear for weeks,i am okay with it.I don't understand how you people like someone or something.I wake up at 4 am everyday,because i don't want to waste time.What do i mean with that?I don't do anything with my time in the first place.I spend my time online,yet i worry about wasting it.How?I'm too caught up on trying not to forget things.I don't feel like i deserve anything.No pity,or being harsh on myself.I'm simply okay with the things i have.I'm okay with having a monitor from 2005.I'm okay with owning a computer from 2002.I'm okay with it running on XP.I'm okay with owning a headset which would cost less than 4 euros.Okay with living in a messy room.Okay that i'm alone.Okay with no friends,or someone to love.No desire for many things.Okay with being a failure.I'm okay with the fact i make my parents feel awful,and i'm okay with being a burden,But sometimes something happens inside of me.I burst out and cry.I don't feel anything.They just roll down my face onto my lap.I don't feel sadness and sorrow.I don't feel hatred,love or happiness.I don't know why and how or what.I do not have any type of mental illness.
>>24861859
Maybe clean your room?
It's not really a big deal to have new, shiny things, anon. You really don't need them to be happy.
I can't tell you what to do or where to set goals so it's up to you to do whatever. Maybe try with baby steps and try to have a little fun with it.
The bad feelings don't really go away so you're gonna have to try and bear it while trying to move forward.
I can't really say much else. I expect to get flamed for this comment.
Stop lying to yourself.
Where the fuck do I found primary sources for Greek trade in the ancient world? Literally NONE of the Greek historians mention it even in passing! REEEEEEEE
>>24861859
Sometimes I think I have no taste and just absorb others opinions
Fucking Virgin Media and their oversubscribed URBs, how hard is it NOT to sign up more customers when an area is already at saturation. You greedy fucking fucks. I'll bloody well claim my compensation every damn month from you fuckers, I haven't paid for my internet since 2013.
>tfw no prime lindsay lohan gf
>>24862039
I'm inclined to think that this isn't such a bad thing. Really, only snobs are the ones who will bash you for not "doing it yourself."
It's good to have the ears to listen to other people
I'm poor.I'm so fucking poor.I can't ask anything or anyone for anything.I'm too scared to ask my parents for money.I know we don't have it .I can't earn the money.I feel sorry that i have to go to school.I feel terrible that i'm such a failure.I get shit grades at school.The one my parents pay for.My parents pay for everything,and we don't have that much money.We're in debt,they have to pay for my sisters college,they have to give money to my brother.I feel terrible that they give me money for school lunch,since i know that money was hardly worked for.I don't use that money for anything,i don't eat at school.I stopped doing it a long time ago.My mother keeps telling me i am sickly,a stick.I try to eat more but i really cannot.I'm not anorexic,i'm not that stupid.I just feel terrible.I'm such a burden.I feel bad sometimes because i can't have the things other people and kids have.My mum and dad yell at eachother a lot.They fight a lot.I close the door and try not to think about it.Because i can't be happy i want to make others happy.Atleast online,because i can't do anything in actual reality.I wish i could get a mic.A shitty mic that comes with on a headset.The 2 euro one.Buti know i can't have it.I can't make other s happy.I'm too scared to ask my parents for it.We don't have the money and i know i don't deserve it.I can't accept anything given by anyone.I hate being pitied.I hate being poor.When my parents die,i want to kill myself.Not now,while they're still alive.It would cost them a lot for my funeral.My suicide would cost a lot.They're old and sick,i have to take care of them.I don't want to _________
>trying to balance myself on the sub
>girls keep staring
>I might look like chad but I completely abandoned anything to humans ages ago
>keep trying to balance
>they get aggresive and try to bump me
>bitches that was all in the plan
>now I can play dodge the bumps without moving while keeping your balance
it was a good ride
I can't admit things.I lie
Stop lying
>>24862181
I wish you would use spaces in between sentences.
>>24861859
wow, I have the exact opposite problem
>>24861859
i booked a doctors appointment. im nervous, when is the right time to go on meds?
>>24862181
Hope you vote for Sanders in 2016 m8.
If not I feel no sympathy.
>>24861859
I'm like you. I don't think it can be solved
I hate atheism so fucking much, complete and utter bullshit just like nihilism fucking cocksucking reddit fuckers with their whole stoic belief in being humanists but subtly smashing any dissenting opinion and having secret opinions made manifest by the acts of the hive mind reeeeee... also fuck guardians of the galaxy avengers, pol ,b , fuckers who play strategic vidya and peg their egos to it, manly men, just bee urself, evolution rrreeeee the list goes on forever rrreeeee
>>24862341
how can you NOT be atheist in 2015?
I'm not saying you should be broadcasting it to the world and starting debates but you seriously need to be a complete retard to believe in a higher power AD2015
I don't really understand people's obsession with celebrities and gossip. Like sure they are in movies and tv shows but people glorify and idolize them as almost supernatural beings. I don't get it or care much about celebrities, probably never will either.
>>24862259
I suggest taking the meds as soon as you get them.You'll know the effect they have and how they work on you.From then on you'll know how to take your meds and which one you should consume and which ones you shouldn't
DlAE spurdo spade?!?!!!!???
>>24862442
No, atheism is shit, its dehumanizing, it strips the world of all personality and paves the way for societal domination of the soul.
I refuse to have my view of my place in the world tainted by black science man or bill nye
>>24862497
>by black science man or bill nye
Man, is this what american culture does to people?
Can't you just fucking think to yourself and realize that your place in the world isn't dictated by a higher power either, but your very humanity?
Material existence is maya (magic or illusion) and imprisons most people who let their thoughts cause them suffering. To be clear, suffering =/= physical pain. One can experience physical pain, even emotional pain, without any suffering. As Gautama Buddha died, he was in pain but wasn't suffering for he had liberated himself from it through ascetic discipline.
This world can be compared to a dream. It isn't reality, only a distorted image of reality. Happiness cannot come from pursuit, from becoming, rather one can only find true happiness, tranquility, in /being/. Being is reality, becoming is illusion. We live in such a society that has declined spiritually so much, everything we decide is based on becoming. Should we raise or lower taxes? Different answers will come from anthropocentric, utilitarian, and materialistic thought, but the point is that /all/ political policy of the modern age has its basis only in the pursuit of happiness, in becoming rather than being. Communism, socialism, capitalism, nationalism, all only concern the transient and illusory world of shadows, and do not look to the spiritual hierarchy for answers.
The dream will be over soon. Fear nothing, let the masses bedazzled by maya destroy themselves with their becoming. Let them all pass into oblivion, as you remain resolute in being.
Recommended reading: The Bhagivadgita, the Dhammapada, the Bible and Qur'an, the Nag Hammadi scriptures, Plato's Republic, Julius Evola, Rene Guenon, Manly P. Hall, Friedrich Nietzsche, Aleister Crowley, and every philosophy and scripture the world has.
>>24861859
Iktf, but I'm more self loathing atm. Before I was like you, I didn't care, but now... Something broke, I don't know why but I've come to realise how empty and worthless my life is. Hopefully you don't feel the same op
>>24862181
why do people have kids? specially poor ones. how stupid are they? how fucking irresponsible are they? how fucking ignorant are they?
FILTHY SINNER! How dare you sin?What have we ever done to you?!How dare you stop your fasting?Do not sinner,repel against your sins!Be sorry for what you have done and you will be forgiven!Shame on you!
>>24862523
Its not a higher power I believe in, its monist spirituality, my self is all in all, there is no such thing as an existence independent of the self and to even use the word self becomes redundant with this knowledge.
But societal ideas are fleeting and subjective, they have no place in my mind
>>24862594
I really like bananas tho. And tomatoes
>>24862544
Good shit m8, you sound like the type of guy I want to talk to, not dogmatic, but not atheistic either
>>24862596
>But societal ideas are fleeting and subjective, they have no place in my mind
k, enjoy being an idiot
>>24862544
This really touches me. It explains how i feel about this shitty world but i'm too dumb to articulate.
![lonely-boy[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/J3CvVl5.jpg "lonely-boy[1].jpg")
I need a friend.
But no one likes me.
>>24862633
Let me tell you about my recent experiences regarding meditation and suffering.
Last Sunday, I had to travel to a different city to visit family members, some of which I had not seen in years, most of which I had never met. Being a robot, I didn't want to go but I couldn't bail. I realized early on in the trip that if I let my mind run rampant and think anything, it would make the whole trip a lot worse. Think of the book Notes from Underground if you've read it, how the underground man says a man with a toothache moans to make those around him suffer out of spite, and how the underground man does the same to himself. On this uncomfortable family occasion I was mindful, and didn't let my mind run away with thoughts like "this is terrible" or "I wish I was alone." No, I quieted my mind and nipped those thoughts in the bud by realizing that it would be over soon enough, and that a runaway mind would only make me feel worse. I was tranquil for the whole experience, I was uncomfortable yes but not suffering.
Today I tried an experiment. I kept mindful in the same manner, and taking a sharp piece of volcanic glass, cut my chest slowly. Then I bit into a raw clove of garlic, while chewing it I rubbed garlic juice into the wound to intensify the pain. The spice in my mouth was awful, as was the cut. I was in pain, but like before I didn't suffer. Later I took a shower, on impulse I turned the water cold and plunged myself into it. Unpleasant, but my mind was at ease.
And this has been a great epiphany for me regarding meditation. I used to think that the main goal of meditation was ego death, dhyana, samadhi and ultimately moksha. I meditated for years like this but it only seemed to help me when I first began. I was meditating on becoming, not being, and that's why my mind was hardly ever at ease in those meditation sessions! Perhaps samadhi is only a side effect of meditation? I have much more to learn. I hope this wasn't too boring to read.
>>24861859
>I do not have any type of mental illness
wew lad
>>24863316
Can it be anyone?Where can i contact you?
>>24863418
I meant someone in real life really, I've never had a proper internet friend but talking online doesn't really fill the void.
>>24863600
It does fill in a lot for me.Still,best of everything to you,friend.
College is so much harder than high school and I don't know how to deal with it. Dropping out is not an option, neither is suicide.
![they-break-you-know[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/oLSc0qC.jpg "they-break-you-know[1].jpg")
>>24863619
does it? it makes me feel a little better but I go back to the way I was before soon enough.
The world is dead. I see everywhere just mindless automatons that have empty conversations with each other. Especially noticed it in college. There is no hope. Materialism killed this world and all I see are empty smiles and dead eyes, giving out fake answers that have been preceded by the madness of the end of the mind.
>>24861859
Well, on a positive note, you're posting about it here. Which means you've recognized that something's not quite right.
If you can, talk to a therapist. But really...just give an effort to try. Clean your room. Do your laundry. Find a hobby, book, or TV show to watch. Make something yours.
And whatever you do, resist the temptation to give up and go back to shitposting here. This place is a fucking black hole for any semblance of a normal life. I'd wager its half the reason you're in this mess as it is. Cut that shit out and get back into the real world.
>>24862544
>>24863352
I like you, keep it up
>tfw some nigger robbed your local comic book store
>tfw the store owner is a total bro
I'm worried for the guy
>>24862497
It's not wrong though.
And it's not as bad as you make it out. Feels real, na mean
>>24862497
If you need lies to be human, you aren't worth having in a society to begin with.
>>24861859
I feel similar. At 22, the people around me have been doing things with their lives, and have hobbies and interests, and things they've achieved. Everyone on tinder has gone travelling or climbed a mountain or something like that. And at this point I'm wondering why I've never had the motivation/energy to do those things, or even wanted to do anything like that. I don't have any interests now, just vidya, and I don't feel like I have the energy to change.
I'm also trying to come to terms with the fact that I will never be a normal person socially. I will probably always struggle to connect with people, and often not know what to say. I've lost most of the friends I've had, because I'd realise that I was the doormat of the group, leave, and they would make no effort to continue the friendship. I have nothing to offer others, so my friendships are always shallow and easily discarded by the other person.
I've been working in the post room of this company for the last few days, and lots of people come in asking for their parcels. Even after interacting with people fairly often, I still can't really work out how to talk to them properly - half the time I either greet them too quietly or almost shout at them by accident. I feel like a defective person, who will never really fit in with others, and I don't know what to do about it. I just want to be a normal human being, who does normal human things and has normal human experiences.
(cont.)
>>24864755
2015 is going to be a kissless year, I can tell. I was holding out hope that I would go on a date with some tinder girl at some point, but it's getting a bit late for that, and to be honest I'm losing interest anyway. They're all so dull, and make no effort. I can't really imagine a situation where I could actually get gf - I barely meet any new women, I don't know how to talk to those women, and I probably wouldn't ask them out (or know how) anyway. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone.
Semi-seriously thinking about attempting to climb Everest. The aim would be to give myself something to be proud of/a sense of achievement, or to die in the attempt.
>>24862203
>Be me /fit/ on way home from college
>crowded, jam packed train
>lots of qt student grills
>one infront of me
>leans back into me
>soft, fragrant hair, big arse
>feel her weight against me
>why cant the train be this full every day
>can see how the japs have such a thing for train porn
>qt makes me wish i had a gf
Where do girls go on weekends, holidays znd after college hour apart from clubs and pubs? What do they do? They just dissapear
>Haven't taken a shower in a moneth
>Bottom of feet are disgusting
>Hair so greasy if I touch it, it looks like I dipped my hand on olive oil
>Smell like absolute shit
>Want to take shower
>Can't because the only shower I can use is a communal one and my slippers broke
>Either I take a shower in barefeet and step all over people's shit, blood, and jizz
>Or try to go another day of smelling like I came out of someone's ass
>Also my anus is still dirty because my anus is all torn up from cheap toilet paper and bleeds
Fuck my body, fuck my life, and fuck lady fortune.
What the fuck is wrong with people today? I worked to try and be someone people would like because I was treated like shit in my youth, now they love me but they're all narcissistic, vapid pieces of shit driven by nothing other than hedonism. I'm tired if pretending to be happy-go-lucky, I'm tired of pretending I'm not disgusted by roasties bragging about their sexual escapades. I just wanted a friend or some meaningful relationship, but all I have now is wishful thinking that someday things might change. I wish I knew what I'm supposed to do to fix this shit, am I the problem or are they? Now I don't even have the motivation to work at anything because I will only be continuing down this path that I hate. I wish I was somewhere else, I wish I at least had the courage to kill myself, I wish I had something, but I don't and no matter what I tell myself, I probably never will.
>>24865070
>step all over people's shit, blood, and jizz
Can't you just wash it off, since you're, y'know, in the shower?
Just go in there and take a nice, long 30 minute shower, and come out completely clean. You'd probably feel amazing
>>24865233
It's all over the fucking place and the water coming out of the shower head is low pressure and dribbles out if anything because of >muh environment. So unless I stood in the same exact spot for the duration of the shower without moving around in the stall it wouldn't work.
>>24865600
That shit is the worst. For me, a decent shower is an important part of how good I consider my living situation to be. My current shower has a middle "watering can" setting, and a high "4 minutes until the fuse blows" setting. I would love to be able to actually feel clean when I get out.
Do you have any friends whose shower you could use?I know, I know
I'm pretty sure I'm depressed but I can't do anything about it until my mother dies, and by that point I'll be too far gone.
My mother is my last support I have in the world, and she already has to care for my autistic younger sister and my older sister who got schizophrenia in college
I'm the last one who she can still consider "normal" and if she finds out I'm depressed I don't think she'll be able to handle it
I'm still on her healthcare, I don't know how to see a doctor without her knowledge
i've beentalking onlinewith a nearby girl for the past few days. things seemed totally fine - more than fine, really - and for the first time in years I've actually started to hope that maybe I won't need to be a kv any longer
we stayed up and went back and forth for a few hours until midnight on monday. but then she was only online twice yesterday for a little bit, and not even once so far today.
i know i'm being horribly unfairly paranoid and that there are countless perfectly sound reasons why i should just not worry about it, but every single time i've ever started hoping it's only led to me getting very soundly crushed not long after. she could have met a chad concurrently and now i'm old news. she could have just lost interest because maybe i accidentally said something wrong, although i have no idea what. maybe she knows somebody who knows me and they painted an ugly picture based on what i was like 10 years ago.
>anon it's barely been a day or two don't be so creepy
it wasn't just a random girl, this was somebody truly inspiring; i'm so terrified now that i've fucked it up somehow and lost the only real chance i've ever had and probably ever will have, but if I try to "pls respond" and figure out what's going on it'll only make me look even more desperate and pathetic. i was fully intending to kill myself before the end of the year until this happened and i can't fuck it up now, i can't
>>24863679
Find some time to really get organized. Plan things out, start a organizational diary, clean your work environment. Doing things like that really helped me, you wouldnt believe the difference it can make
>>24865869
Urgh, iktfb.
I always pin all my hopes on one person, and then constantly worry about it. It's really not a healthy way to look at relationships. I'm always disappointed in the end anyway.
when I was 14 I finally asked out my crush who lived across the street from me, I was the happiest I've ever been in my entire life
I was kinda introverted and nerdy and obviously I told my buds because I was excited
a few days later one of the more popular kids came up to me and said
>"is it true you're going out with her?"
i said hell yeah it's true, cuz i felt like a big dick alpha
>"oh... she says it's not true"
what
i talk with her and she says
>"oh, you meant like that?... i wish you didn't tell people. we're still friends though, yknow?"
she barely even talked to me after that, despite living right across the street from me. i was getting made fun of in school for it, and she moved away like a year later.
it was the single most embarrassing moment of my life and i still think about it. i almost cried in front of her.
"i wish you didn't tell people"
I feel sorry for most of you and somehow ashamed for how relatively good i have it. I guess motivation is some of the most important things many of you need. I know its said so easy but dont let yourselves down. Please. If you feel like you need to climb a mountain dont overthink it and just do it. Feel hugged
>>24866046
>If you feel like you need to climb a mountain dont overthink it and just do it
Thanks shia. Now to pick a brightly coloured coat, to be one of those landmark corpses on Everest that climbers use.
>tfw your spooky skeleton will be at the highest altitude of your entire family, the entire way back through human history
>>24866137
It was more to the guy who said he'd like to do so even if its dangerous and btw there are other mountains than mt.everest
I respect computers not because they never break or need rest, but that
they can keep working despite it.
I respect not the person who never experiences mental anguish, I
respect the person who does but never lets it show, and keeps going,
even to his own death.
The Athena computer, responsible for guiding ICBMs to Russia, had a
mode called "BATTLE LOCK", which disabled all of the computer's safety
features. All the fuses, breakers, thermal cut-out switches,
overvoltage relays, all of that. It was known as a "melt-before-fail"
system. Once engaged, the only way the machine would stop working was
to melt. No safety nets. It would simply work until it was physically
unable to do so anymore, run itself right into the ground without a
second thought.
I respect that computer. I wish I could be like it.
Gonna kill myself Friday morning
how do I get the confidence to buy and display figures
I see threads on /a/ where people have fucking half naked pochaco figurines that are a foot high displayed in their living rooms, I don't grasp how you can get to the point of not giving a fuck where you do that
>>24866189
>It was more to the guy who said he'd like to do so even if its dangerous
Which guy is that? I can't find the post, unless you meant my one ("2015 is going to be a kissless year...").
>btw there are other mountains than mt.everest
Is there any point, though? Those places aren't the highest place in the world
>>24866247
There's a painting, it's called "faithful until death", or something
like that, that depicts a Roman soldier in Pompeii as the ash is
falling. He was never ordered to leave his post, so he stayed there and
faithfull stood guard until the ash consumed him.
And not for lack of fear-- He was scared, but he stayed anyway.
It was apparently based on a real discovery of the bones of a soldier,
in his armor, at his post.
I respect that sort of dogged machine-like devotion.
I found the painting. "faithful unto death"
I had the talent, drive, and creativity to make amazing music but I chose instead to waste away in my room, on the floor, drunk. I'm 24 now and want to change, but now I feel like I missed my window of opportunity.
I'm so completely devoid of a personality or identity it's painful
I change who I am depending on the social group, and if that requires lying, I lie through my teeth
I don't want to be like this but I'm intensely afraid of rejection and abandonment
>>24866380
Creativity isn't bound to age, especially not for music
Today was a bad day. Most days I don't care but today was really awful. This whole week I've done nothing but sit in my room and browse the internet. I want to see and speak to people but they don't care about me. I resent them anyway, for one reason or another. Made me think about quitting my job, moving out, becoming homeless, etc. I just need to get away from the apathy. I'm not sure how I can keep this going, but I'm also not sure what I'd do if I didn't.
>>24866382
I am currently absorbing your feels, because I do exactly the same thing. I've hidden my actual interests for most of my life, and only actually started to reveal them in the last few years.By interests I mostly mean vidya
>tfw became a doormat for every single friendship group I was ever in, because I was so afraid of rejection
>tfw based all my actions on how it would be perceived by others, and whether their opinion of me would change as a result
>tfw lost almost all the friends I had between 4 and 18 anyway, despite my efforts to make sure they didn't reject me
>tfw pretty sure you're ashamed of all your own interests because of your parents making you feel guilty for playing the vidya you liked as a kid
Do you think there's a reason for us being like this? Like some childhood feeling of abandonment? Or were we just born like this?
>tfw you take a 'risk' and mention you play something like MH, and the reaction isn't negative at all
>tfw playing EU4 in the living room and your female flatmate asks what you're playing, and you have literally no idea how to answer in a way that she will understand
>>24863925
>24863925
Thank you Coldsteel the hedgehog.
I hate living in fucking rossia, being a college dropout with bleak perspectives, with no decent path to get out of this frozen passive-aggressive shithole.
What I hate most is observing life in 1st world countries via the Internet while knowing that I will probably never experience this life myself.
What brings me even further into despair is the fact that I'm actually far from the poorest human being on this planet - indians and africans have it much worse than me. Sometimes I imagine all these people's daily feels, their lifes full of misery. The current state of the world looks unstable: the recession is probably coming, and there is no guarantee the world economy will recover this time. Peak fossil is coming, and with it the start of decline of world wealth. We may as well live in the golden age of humanity right now, and its still shit for most of people.
I hate you, robots. You were born into the top 10% of humanity, and you fucked that chance.
>>24866806
We didn't get to choose.
I used to enjoy the holiday season. As a kid, Christmas would never come. As an adult, it blurs by in an orgiastic display of materialism. These days, I spend it alone. I walk the streets at night passing by all the warm and cozy houses decked in lights and ornaments, and see trees in living rooms through the window, and I think - I used to belong to something like this. Not anymore, though. I just disappear into the woodwork when the sun sets and hide from the world until day breaks again. I don't really have a place with all of this, and the sad thing is that all I ever really wanted was a place. It feels like everything I draw close to me or everything I hold dear is destined to wither away until gone. I figure it's just better now to burn bridges outright and get the inevitable loss out of the way, rather than deal with a slow, wilting demise punctuated by the agony of trying to hold on and the grief of loss. There's no point in making a connection, let alone continuing to exist, but much like Mary Shelley's monster relaying his story to Victor, I too, realize, that one clings harder to life the more wretched it becomes.
im obsessed with collecting images of armour
sci-fi, fantasy, historical whatever I fucking love it. its my favorite hobby, one day I want to be able to draw my own images of such things, thats the idea of a perfect life for me. Living on autismbux and commissions drawing concept art in a cozy little apartment doing HEMA on the weekends.
I hate having autism, but being able to be so passionate about something so simple and benign really is a comfy, wonderful feeling. Arms and armour just makes me so happy.
Is it even worth having kids in this day in age?
>>24866989
I think about this all the time.
It really is so expensive. And you lose control of your adult life. It becomes centered around providing for your child 100%.
I don't like kids. I don't want kids. But I feel a duty to have them. I feel like if I don't continue my lineage, I've failed.
>>24866806
Russia looks like one of the most depressing places to live.
>>24866989
>>24867035
I'm planning to have the first one next year.
One thing that seems to not be as common anymore, but which is extraordinarily helpful, is hiring a nanny during the first few years of childcare. Especially a live-in one. You don't have to lose control of your life and time. But it does up the expense.
I've never had a single straight female friend.
I can't tell if I'm a cynic or if everything is really getting worse. Seems like most things I'm excited for are letdowns.
>>24867215
the only female friend i ever had was this lesbian girl from high school, she was one of those weird artsy types who would paint murals and stuff, which is really not me but we smoked pot together so it was cool
i haven't heard from her in like 6 years, I'm pretty sure she moved to south korea
>hear about friend's female flatmate months ago
>fb stalk her, none of the pictures really give a clear idea of what she looks like, all expressions that distort her face a bit so can't tell
>begin to imagine our relationship together
>regularly check her fb to see if anything has changed
>now have this whole scenario in my head where we meet for the first time and instantly hit it off
>went to the website for her work a few minutes ago and checked the "The Team" page
>has a couple of photos of her on it
>they're clear photos, and it turns out she's pretty ugly
>imagined relationship is kind of ruined
>avoiding looking at the photos again because I don't know how to deal with this
This is an abstract kind of feel.
How far gone am I, mentally?
I just accepted a job that pays $200 a month. What the fuck is wrong with me?
>>24867855
Are there any mitigating factors? Like is it an internship or something?
The fact that you're posting this suggests it isn't
>tfw unwilling NEET, but too much pride to accept a job paying minimum wage for non-minimum wage work
13-15k (pounds) depending on experience as bullshit
