Question for the kissless virgins, the ones with no friends, the shut-ins and undesirables
What were the antecedent factors that resulted in you becoming this way?
I'm too far gone to remember, maybe I was always like this. That pic is making my peepee tingle.
Parents let me drop out of school because of bullying and depression for nearly 5 years.
Now I'm playing catch up.
>>24854646
This.
Go away.
Runs in the family
>>24854587
I always was hated by everyone.
Years of abuse made me bitter against humanity.
Also, I was trying to fight and suppress my autism diagnostic daily and all normal folks always sniffed me out for acting odd.
>>24854683
This is me too. Without the catch up.
I started to think about why, but that's a lot of effort so basically this:
>>24854646
Post more of that 2d girl.
Actual Autism. No Joke. It fucking Sucks.
I go to an SJW college cause they gave me a bunch of scholarship money, and it pisses me the fuck off that they are out there fighting for every fucking cause but autism.
I get it, it's cause we're creepy and gross, is that why you don't care about us? Nobody cares about people like me.
Problem is, there are other people on campus that have autism spectrum. But they're all furfags or non-gendered whatever. Like hell am I associating with them.
>>24854587
Being poor and being born with a methodical and sensitive temperament.
>>24854587
I was weird, autistic kid right from the start.
Hung out with other weirdos in primary school and had some good times.
Middle school was hell for the first half, constantly picked on and bullied. No friends.
Then I made some friends towards the end of it but by the time high school rolled around I was a cynical, anti-social misanthrope.
Eventually dropped out and now I'm am IT student at a tech school. 19 years old.
No friends, no passion, no future.
I, don't, know. It kind of just fell out this way
>>24854860
I feel your pain greatly. I went to school and my fellow autistic nigga were all into furfaggotry, tumblr and all that non sense. Yet I tried to socialize with the normal folk but I was told that I wasn't cut out for them. Shit sucks.
>>24854587
A shit childhood and resulting personality disorder. (Yes, diagnosed.)
>>24854828The catch up is slow.
>>24854901
Oh my god don't even get me started on tumblr and shit here. It's a Liberal Arts college, and the most "tollerant"you can get, yet people on campus still bitch about how "racist" everyone on campus is.
>>24854925
fucking this man. I really hate that shit. Nah, seriously people need to chill with the false racism accusation crap.
He many of you self-proclaimed autists are actually diagnosed, and how many are just using it as an excuse to act like a jerk?
>>24854958
Legit Diagnosed. Both the best and worst day of my life.
Best because it explained so much shit.
Worst because it basically said I'm fucked.
>>24854958
I am diagnosed with aspergers.
>>24854958
I don't know about you but I don't need an excuse to act like a jerk, being human is enough
>>24854958
professionally diagnosed asperger here.
I'm still trying to find a way out of it and fighting it. I want to live the normal life that was denied to me long ago.
>>24855000
>>24854978
>>24854860
King of /r9k/ here to remind you autism/aspergers=retardation.
Anyhow just like everyoen else I got the aspergers, although honestly I think the real cause of my problems was a emotional abusive father.
>>24854587
I have never really maintained a strong relationship with anyone outside my family.
I had special education classes in "speech" a lot when I was in elementary school. Didn't speak full sentences until I was 4 or 5. I didn't really think much of it until I got in trouble with a teacher in middle school and my mom brought up autism. I wasn't technically autistic but I had some red flags as an infant apparently.
>>24855020
You think I don't already know that?
Dad hit my mom and me.
Got raped by a nigger.
Was a bully in the school got kicked out of 3 schools.
Got bullied in school started skipping class.
Ended up passing through anyway cause ghetto teacher dont give a fuck if i did anything .
Move to another school again and self esteem is destroyed still alone.
Dont know shit because skipped a year forth of teachings.
Start skipping again cause why the fuck not.
Still pass through high school.
havent been doing shit for years since that happened.
>>24855020
Well emotional abusive parents don't make it easy too.
Though the retardation is only limited to the social environment. But no, we're not all some kind of genius like every pretentious aspies proclaim. That's the kind of behavior that usually end up isolating yourself from your surrounding.
>>24854977
The main factor is that they have the genes of a kekhold
Even when I was in preschool I didn't know how to play, I didn't understand how to identify what was play and pretend and what crossed into serious business.
In elementary school I had it all down to a science and appeared robotic, had some friends actually, but always but them on a pedestal and so never seriously considered developing those relationships further.
In Middle School I just did well in school and minded my own business.
In High School I started to think about the larger world and got really angry about it all, I was mad that everything and everyone was a phony, like Holden Caulfield.
Now I'm still like that, I hate this world, and I've decided if the world can't be an anime it is not worth going the extra mile for such a shitty return.
In short, I have put reality on a pedestal because I've overthought everything my entire life. Now I'm 19 and a weeb NEET.
I'm still self aware though, and I dress normally so I'm treated normally. I do wish I had never been born though, and I am going to jump in front of a train at some point.
There are very few specific instances I could point to. For most of my life and had no aspirations or dreams. When I was super young I wanted to be an inventor like Gyro Gearloose but when I learned that such a profession is hardly feasible and much less profitable, that delusion ended.
I coasted through school with great grades, never really having to learn or doing anything beyond what's required. I never learned the value of hard work if you will.
So you get a lazy and directionless person who, as soon as his school career ended and success starts to be based on personal initiative, fails at life.
Regarding social life there were really only two big breaks in my life. I used to be fairly popular and part of the 'cool kids' as 'the funny one' when I was younger up until 14 or so. That's when the cool kids get into smoking and drugs and parties and such and I couldn't really relate. I went from making the jokes to being the butt of the jokes so I stopped hanging out with them and found new friends. That was the first break.
The second break was after school ended. If you do nothing with your life it's hard to hang out with people that do. Eventually the whole "what are you doing now, what are you plans, etc." just became too much and I cut all contact with my friends.
That was 5 years ago and I haven't progressed at all since then in any area of my life.
25 year old kissless virgin here.
What does antecedent mean?
In high school, I wanted to be a school teacher, as cliche as that sounds. Then I came to terms and admitted to myself that I am a degenerate and a pedophile, so I just shut myself up and forgot how to leave.
>>24854850
It's Anzu Futuba. She is a fake NEET and a fake loli. Look it up yourself if you want to.
>>24855131
You can transform in to an antman
>>24855147
I saw that movie. I liked it.
I think it started since birth because mom is full bpd and insane.
Though I think it peaked around ~10yo when she took me out of school and locked me in a basement for years.
26yo kissless virgin now still living with the same parents waiting for them to die.
>>24855039
Took me 26 years to really realize, well at least admit it to myself.
>>24855141
How did it happen ? I'm curious.
>>24855175
Tabula rasa is latin and means to clean the slate.
I don't understand why you have it as a name though.
>>24855159
Me too it was funny
>>24855159
Needed more giant women scenes tbqh senpai
>>24855141
Oh believe me I've looked her up plenty of times. I just forgot what her name was for a second. Fake or not, she makes my dick hard.
It's all in my head. I'm fucked up.
I shouldnt be, but I am.
I just distance myself from everyone eventually.
I've always had a mild depression. Ever since I was a child. It's not manic, I don't get too much anxiety or panic attacks or serious suicidal thoughts, at least not anymore. I was bullied a lot when I was younger because my behaviour made me an instant target.
I still have to constantly fight negative thoughts that wash over me constantly.
It's like having a bully inside your mind constantly picking at your flaws. I can only distract myself from it. I know what I say to myself isn't true but the thoughts are still there. Eating away at me. Getting me hard when I'm at my most vulnerable.
It gets worse the less progress I make since it starts to validate these thoughts. People like me but I can't truely like them back because they won't understand why I act the way I do.
I just disappear. Sometimes I come back, sometimes I don't. The longer I go without seeing someone the more likely I am to shut them out. I come up with excuses like "They don't need me around" or "they have other better friends" and I don't want to become dependent on them either for reassural.
It's my burden to bare, and mine alone. I was born a loner and I'll likely die one too.
Counseling is just a waste of time for this sort of thing isn't it?
This is long term problems going back to our childhood. How can they even help with that?
Be fat = not attractive = don't interact with women romantically or sexually = KV
Introverted = few friends = don't interact with most people = be made fun of = trusting people and social interaction are difficult.
I could've been an blissfully ignorant normie, Good thing i've achieved "no longer give a fuck" status
>raised by single mother
>also happened to be sjw feminist along with older sister
>constantly preach about how men are bad
>internalize it all by the age of 12
>puberty hits
>all guys ever talk about is girls
>feel constant shame
>guys think I'm weird/gay and make fun of me
>can't even make eye contact with a girl without feeling deep compulsive shame and guilt
>effectively psychologically castrated by the age of 16
>23 now, no friends, never talked to a girl, mom constantly asks why I don't ever show any interest in girls
Ugly as all fuck thanks to shit-tier genetics. Also my sister fucked it up so my parents never brought me with them when they went out.
>>24854587
Moving house and having to get new friends.
How am i supposed to get girls when i dont even have friends?
And single mothers raise betas.
>>24855187
its ironic and vaguely true, why not?
>>24855179
How I came to that conclusion?
I kinda knew it since I was 14, but I told myself I just liked kids and didn't think much of it. Sometime after about the fiftieth time I caught myself checking out lolis, I got worried and made a concerted effort to not do that. I never felt attraction to developed women though. And even when I was 16 and found out there was CP on limewire by watching the incoming searches, I would just shamefully deny I was a fuckup afterward. Despite how retarded it is to broadcast that to the world over an open network, nothing came of it. I've not looked at CP in eight years, so I think I'm safe confessing that. That shit rots your brain and fosters delusions. Then, when I was 17, new neighbors moved in. There was a daughter, who looked about eight, that I became infatuated with. Wow, that was some feels. I just had an urge to go meet her and be nice to her and make her like me. I would day dream fo taking her on dates and buying her cute stuff. I never did talk to her, but the angst and fantasies and realization of what I felt forced me to admit that I was a pedo.
And then it was time for college, where I got embarrassed and stopped going to class, then dropped out, but by then my parents had moved to a smaller house, and here I am.
I don't like being around people. It's that simple
Dropped out of highschool because I was that opposed to social interaction. I can't stand it
>>24855435
>all through my life never pursue relationships
>while other guys were checking out girls I never had enough interest to bother
>spend lots of time online
>become a shut-in for various reasons
>Decide "fuck it" and find cp
>Finally understand what normal people feel when they see attractive girls
>Finally know what it's like to actually desire a relationship
>>24855499
>Finally know what it's like to actually desire a relationship
Isn't it the most painful thing?
I'm also tall and ugly. Little girls fear me. I wish they were only disgusted by me.
But it does feel like they have a different kind of beauty. Just so... well formed. Being attracted to them just feels more than natural, it feels... just?. I can't even fucking describe it without sounding like Plato.
I often wonder if normies feel this way. Few seem to act like it, but I haven't found the average normie to be very introspective.
>>24855499
>>24855660
Don't fucking touch any.
I'm a very quiet guy.
A simpler question for you kissless fucks, since you're having so much trouble:
What is the mathematical formula used to determine the volume inside of a pentadodecahedron?
>>24855820
Trivia4U: Card Captor Sakura is all about love and the different kinds of love, even the romantic love of a third grader and her teacher, in the manga. Really, look it up. Sakura is looking for advice on her relationship with that boy, and in a long series of people she meets, she finds her teacher the park. After she leaves, his lgf comes out from behind a tree and wishes they didn't have to hide their relationship. It was cute.
I was fat till i was 20. Had zero friends and zero social skills because of it. Lost weight and now girls say I'm handsome but I get so nervous I avoid them at all costs.
>>24855903
Triple integration of the piecewise function describing the smaller polyhedrons it forms.
>>24855903
~7.6631189606a^3
>6.25% content
thanks moot
>>24854587
When I was younger, I was fat. Also I lived as a russian immigrand in germany. That led to a lot of bullying. I think that made me the husk I am today.
>>24855660
I know the feeling. It's not lust, it's a genuine appreciation of their beauty.
I hate adults. They're all scum.
Normies don't know. Most normies never detach themselves from society which means their thinking never ventures out of the box that society creates.
>>24855820
I won't. The only people I care about are lolis. Lolis don't deserve to have a freak like me possibly ruin their life.
>>24855904
Yeah I know.
Kids are not on the same level as adults and they will be taken advantage of most of the time. The taboo is important.
>>24856072
>Lolis don't deserve to have a freak like me possibly ruin their life.
I take it back, THIS is the most painful thing. Why do I want to love them if all I can do is hurt them? Was I made to be an poisoned weapon that inflicts evil on innocence?
I really want to teach them things and help them grow to be the best they can be, but the best I can do is stay away. So why am I here? Why even live if my greatest achievement will be not fucking too much stuff up?
Them fucking feels, man.
>>24854587
>some people get irritated at me
>some just don't like me
>some pretend to be my friend
>some just wanted my attention
>What were the antecedent factors that resulted in you becoming this way?
I've been home schooled my entire life and my only social outlet up until this point has been church
>tfw I'm not even religious I just want human contact and this is the best way
I also don't have a license so I can't go anywhere and where I live isn't exactly a place for young people either.
>>24856156
The most painful thing for me is knowing that I will never, NEVER have a happy relationship
To see happy people every single day in relationships but knowing you will never have the chance to experience that no matter how hard you try
That's crushing
>>24856156
evolution's a bitch to everyone in some shape or form
>>24855020
>honestly I think the real cause of my problems was a emotional abusive father.
>My father used to beat me with his fists, belts, and sticks as a child
>enforce me to be nice to people and do my homework
>too socially awkward to connect with other people
>too miserable to work hard in school
Why can't I just have a Chad for a dad?
i was actually pretty normie as a kid despite being asperger out the ass, when i was 13 i stopped going to school and dropped out of society all together
i spent my days playing world of warcraft and watching anime, days turned into weeks into months and finally into years. it's not been a decade since i started doing this and i just don't interact with other people
it was entirely self inflicted i'm not going to pretend there is some boogyman out there trying to get me, the problem now is that if i wanted to get back into society i am 10 years of social development behind everyone else and would have a hard time fitting in and relating to others
>>24856460
Same, but I dropped out at 14, I'm 20 now.
I've spent over half my life so far at home, weird how I was only in the outside world for 9 years.
>>24855660
>little girl reaches towards me at pizza place
>mom telling her theyre leaving
>still staring at me reaching and trips backwards as her mom holds her hand
>tfw
I would be so popular with loli
being desired by children is such a great feeling, I also have this one friend of my parents who brings their daughter over and she always grabs me and stuff, cries when I cant come back to their house
i am this way cuz aneme
>>24855820
And if you do, you gonna pay behind bars
Little Billy on 4chan thinkin i memen just wait
>>24856539
>she always grabs me and stuff
>>24856553
We will get our powers soon.
There's a lot of shit, evidently I'm innately undesirable in some way since I was always shunned/excluded/treated like shit by my peers, and even when by some miracle that didn't happen I still was never able to get remotely close to anyone so I'm pretty much permanently socially stunted.
In terms of a single event though, the turning point was in 7th grade when everyone I had thought were my friends or at least acquaintances decided to turn on me because I trusted some fuccboi enough to tell him what girl I liked and he promptly went and blabbed to this sociopathic fuck who immediately went and told every single person in the grade in as embarrassing a way as possible.
From there it was constant mockery and verbal/psychological abuse, starting with stupid shit about that girl but soon turning into daily "anon you should kill yourself", "you have no friends/nobody likes you", "nobody will remember you" etc. All of this was instigated and encouraged mainly by that same piece of shit but everyone joined in on it.
Shit fucked me up senpai, until then I was an idealistic forgiving dumbass but ever since I've gotten more and more closed off, bitter and hateful. I've made a promise to myself that if I ever run into the fucker who was behind all this shit I'll kill him, although as it turns out he's done the same thing to at least 5 other people so someone might beat me to it
>>24854587
I don't know ;_;
I just want to go back and start again
>>24854683
this for me as well
Nothing special. I'm not go girl crazy like all the normies so there's no drive to socialize irl. I'm also not a audibly talkative person, further reducing my social drive. That's not to say I can't socialize.
When I do know cute girls (very rare for me) my brain kicks into overdrive so I actually start talking. But taking it further is out of the question since no cute girl will ever my hobbies so why get together? I like my freedom and like to do what I want so getting in a relationship and having to compromise with someone else is not attractive.
I think the same goes for me forming relationships in general, which is why I don't have too many friends.
Thus I stay inside and keep to myself most of the time. Internet is enough socializing for me apparently. Some days I go without saying a single audibly word.
Shitty childhood that didn't allow me to develop the social skills needed to get friends in real life.
>>24855499
Same. I was attracted to girls since kindergarten and I suppose I never changed my tastes.
>>24856002
Whose moot?
>>24855499
>while other guys were checking out girls I never had enough interest to bother
You're triggering flashbacks hard.
>"hey check it out man you can totally tell she's wearing a g-string"
>"so?"
My only sexual experience was being molested as a child, so I have messed up feelings about sex.
Or maybe its just my autistic social skills.
I grew up fat, never progressed socially. And im just kinda stuck where i am.
>>24857040
>"so?"
You and I were cut from the same stone.
BROTHER!
Basically, I found the internet at a young age and became immersed in it. My parents divorced when I was younger and I was always being thrown back and forth between my mom, dad, and sister, sometimes even my brother. The internet was the only constant thing I had and I took refuge in it. Since I was bullied and had no friends, I became reclusive and shit, spending all my time on the internet talking to the only friends I could get. Eventually, I dropped out of high school and haven't done much with my life since. I've never had a job, I have severe social anxiety from constant bullying and alienation, I'm a kissless 21 year old virgin, I've never been in a date, I don't even have my license. I have trust issues and shit with both genders because both parents and their new partners are shitty. And to top it all off, I'm fat. I'm pretty fucked, honestly.
My mother.
She took me out of school.
She made me paranoid of everything.
She made me dependent on her.
She makes me nervous if I go for a job interview.
She makes everything difficult.
No contact with my dad so I need her SSN for college financial aid, but can't get it because she hasn't filed her taxes in years.
She pushed her poor eating habits onto me and I've constantly overate since I was a child.
Literally 80% of my problems are a direct result of my mother.
>>24854958
>you're an aspie
>so you have to act like a jerk
nice projection
>raised by a single mother
>never met my father in my life
>once when i was 13 he called my mother for a divorce and when she asked if he wanted to speak to me he said no
>didnt really give a shit about me
>drank all the time
>abused me
>rarely provided me any proper nutrition, was just given a bunch of garbage packaged food and until i was 17 i thought this was normal
>as a result fat throughout my entire conscious life
>she had a new boyfriend every 6 months, some were drug addicts, some were abusive
>had my ps3 stolen by one of her boyfriends for drug money
>watched her get smacked around my entire childhood and early teenage years
>had some friends but they were only ever just tools that i used to escape loneliness, i never truly gave a shit about them and they never gave a shit about me
The only happiness i've ever known is fleeting, i have never had the confidence to set any goals. I have no desire to achieve anything. I simply want nothing but for my life to end.
>>24854587
For me, Christianity and refusing to degrade myself.
>>24854587
>parents divorced when i was 5
>always moving every year, finished elementary school on 6 different schools at a normal pace but never kept any friends since i was born in 1990 and the internet was not a big thing until i was a teen as far as communication went
>step uncle molested me
>step father beat me
>step sisters had the hots for me and it made me weird
>had a lot of trouble managing my anger growing up
>retreated to video games, anime, reading and working out in my spare time
>moved out of country so lost touch with my only 2 friends when i was 19
And I've been alone ever since. I have a family but I've been slowly distancing myself from them. My endgame plan is to purchase this island that's going for 150k USD. It already has two small solar powered houses so I plan to buy it and make arrangements so I can live off the land away from society for the rest of my life, with internet of course. Since just the island is 150k and I need other preparations, I estimate I will be 32 by the time I have everything ready.
>>24854587
i became incredibly self-conscious and started skipping school and avoiding social situations
All my friends left me starting middle school. Everybody had old connections from Elementary, and it continued being that way. I always had poor clothing because my parents didn't have too much money, so I couldn't fit in with the cool ids. Everyone is so materialistic, and if you aren't their equal they'll ignore you, if you're not able to adapt by the 3rd week of school and find friends that's how it'll stay. Because then you're not only the poor kid, but the weird kid, and nobody wants to be friends with him.
So I just looked forward to playing vidya back at home, sense I became secluded from social interaction for a very long time. I became scared and unattached with my peers. After all a lot of them did bully me. I was also a small unattractive little guy and was unable to build any confidence because of it.
>>24858063
good luck brother i hope you make it
Was bullied hard and betrayed/hurt by every single person who I viewed as a friend, or someone close, aside from my parents.
Had only child syndrome, so parents catered to my beck and call. I love them both with all my heart, but I feel their kindness has done a lot of bad, even when compared to the good.
Things got really bad, and I started falling behind in HS, ended up dropping out entirely and to this day, have been trying to play catch up... a very slow process to be honest.
Every time I feel as though I'm climbing a step, I trip and fall back two more. It's almost as though the things I desire and want out of life are unobtainable for me, almost as if the world's against me, when I know logically speaking that it isn't.
So here I hide away, on the internet, when I'm not attending school or working a shitty job. If someone looked at me from the outside, they'd probably think I was a normal human being, but I feel but nothing more than a husk. A shell of my former self that continues to crumble.
My parents don't know this, but after they pass away, I plan to kill myself as well. I'm planning to go back to my home country and kill myself in a forest where me and my dad used to hunt for frogs when I was a kid.
I'm killing myself not because I rely on them, but because I don't want to hurt them anymore than I already have. They say they love me and support me, but I know they're disappointed to a degree, which I can sympathize with.
More than anything, I hate myself for being unable to become the person my parents have wanted me to become. It's just hard to say these types of things in real life, so I'm grateful for threads like these.
>>24854587
As a kid I read tonnes of books and got introduced to vidya, MMO's and the internet at a very early age. This stunted my social development as I stayed inside all day. In addition, I have incredibly high standards and rejected any girl who ever showed me any attention IRL. I've become a very introverted person who doesn't seek out social activity or friends.
>>24854587
>parents split up when i was 12
>choose to live with my mom because she pretty much let me do whatever i wanted
>dad would have made me exercise and do homework and go to school
>mom let me stop going to school and play on my computer 16 hours a day
>woke up one day to find i was 18, obese, no friends, no education. no chance in life.
worst part of it all is that i started out as one of the cool kids at school, all the chads parents where friends with my dad. fuck i wish i went to live with him, every day i wish i could turn back time and do things differently.
