My boyfriend has decided that the only way to fix my crippling body image problems is by telling me at length that they are a delusion.
He thinks that talking means that he is doing something, which helps him feel control in a helpless situation. This ignores the fact that his side of the conversation is a screed of condescending blather that assumes that I ought to suddenly be happy, destructive and intrusive brain patterns be damned. He says that I have to have "tools for fixing myself", but I'm kind of allergic to self-talk. It always ends up sounding navel-gazing or childishly simple.
I'm frankly lost.
Mostly, I'd like some sane answer that is not "listen to person make you sad and detached from reality for 45 minutes."
>my boyfriend
poor little roastie.
>>24835081
If you can't fix yourself then seek therapy. You should also be thankful that you have someone in your life who actually gives a shit about your problems and tries to help.
>fat
>literally look like I have downs
>tiny mongoloid eyes
>piggy nose
>small lips
>pigeon toed
>barrel chested
>don't bother others with it like a cunt
>just keep barreling on
OP, have you considered not being a dumb slut?
He's trying to fix it because you won't shut your mouth.
You're really making it not worth it to be in a relationship with you.
>>24835125
It's less that he cares, and more that he wants to efficiently solve an inconvenience. It's more about him being right than anything else, so he excuses any sort of cruel or rude behavior on his part. I don't have many people outside of him in my life.
It is at the point where it might be easier to lie until therapy finally works. Do you think this is a good idea? Pretending that he has won to fix up his ego, and let him look on this as a favor he has done for me, rather than the pain it is?
>>24835081
what are you doing here?
What do you want?
It's not like there is a fucking BOARD ESPECIALLY FOR ADVICES!
kill yourself nigga and stop bothering others with this bullshit
>>24835213
Maybe you should leave your EVIL ABUSIVE HORRIBLE boyfriend then.
Poor bastard would finally have some peace and be able to meet a sane woman.
>>24835169
This is all him. I wish he talked less about it.
The amount of talking he does is actually the problem.
I know that my brain is lying to me, and so I do not talk about it. He wants for me to have normal levels of happiness about this that simply don't exist.
Have you considered talking to him about it?
>>24835081
Why come to an autistic misogyny board to tell us? Or are you a transexual?
If you want to the truth though you've come to the right place. Long story short and ignorance of psychology among the general population is so important in politics that several governments promoted pseudoscientists like Freud and Jung in order to derail progress. If you wanted to pick up where things left off you'd go here.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_conditioning
Your emotions are largely separate from more abstract thoughts, your body image problems are psychologically associated with your anxiety. It takes time but it is possible to end this association, however if your negative emotions are due to physiological causes like depression then you will need to seek medical help.
The process of reconditioning takes months. First you must identify the thoughts that are most closely tied to your feelings, the process goes something like this.
sensory stimuli (you have no control over) -> thoughts (you have control over) -> emotions (you can only influence by changing your thoughts)
It is possible for sensory stimuli to directly influence emotions, but these processes are very direct and occur among almost the entire population so they are easy to identify. An example might be the smell of putrecine causing disgust. So it is not the case here.
Get professional help. My ex was like this. It was very sad and your boyfriend cares about you, and wants to help very badly, but you need some professional help if you're a grown woman and still feeling this way.
Don't resent your boyfriend trying to help you even if you feel it's ineffective. He's just doing whatever he thinks he can.
>>24835227
I went to /r9k/ because I wanted to get a feel for the rage-filled tank of hormones that is my boyfriend on this subject. /Adv/ice is kind of a hugbox.
I wanted an answer that could placate somebody who is mostly sane, but would like to make a mental illness better through the magical powers of yelling.
>>24835213
Why don't you try actually communicating to him that you feel he's not being helpful and you feel he's condescending? Even if he thinks it's just an inconvenience, you ARE making him deal with your problems which you should be handling yourself. Make sure he knows you're fixing it yourself through therapy.
>>24835081
So you must identify the thoughts that trigger your emotions and replace them with others, preferably thoughts that are in sync with reality so you don't go off on a tangent.
One way might be to take up exercise, if you are looking after yourself then whatever your body ends up looking like is nothing to be ashamed of. You can run faster and for longer than other people, your body is the product of this. If someone doesn't like it then they are in the wrong.
>>24835324
Oh, I have. It usually makes the rant longer.
>>24835081
try having anal sex every now and then and not caring about things like that. It will surely help.
>>24835081
>has body image issues
>wants boyfriend to fix the issues
Fix that shit yourself.
Your BF is there for support, but expecting someone else to deal with it for you is impossible.
>>24835330
You are very kind for spending the time to write that.
I am at the autistic misogyny board because I happen to be an autistic cis female dealing with frankly misogynistic issues. I wanted a hugbox-free answer that would make him shut up until the therapy works.
Yes, I am indeed depressed, and it is a pre-existing condition by seven years. Interesting.
I'll look into conditoning. I've attempted CBT self-talk, but it just feels infantilizing or ridiculous. This might be better?
Thank you very much.
>>24835081
>my boyfriend
Either fag, roastie or bait.
Timestamped picture or gtfo
>>24835169
>just keep barreling on
Kek
>>24835342
I am currently in therapy. My boyfriend is... impatient. He is a good person, really. One of my favorite humans. I just have a hard time not resenting him for making this all about himself. He is angry, at me, that I am in pain. It is hard to be kind when I'm hearing this.
>>24835370
Oh, I have. It's a refrain of sanity that tends to just make him worse.
He knows that I am paying for therapy.
He knows that I don't want his "help". All help from his corner is vocally unwanted. The issue is that he doesn't want to hear that.
>>24835400
Once again, thank you.
I go to the gym three times a week. I'm pretty great at cardio. I run for hours when I can't sleep. It's not about SANE thoughts, you know. It's not even about being "pretty". Ick. The issue is that I illogically hate all of the fat deposits on my body. Yes, all of them. I regularly fantisize about chopping them off with a knife. Thinking about my body, or considering it sexually, consequentially gives me the same sort of feelings you would get from squeezing putrefying roadkill with your bare hands. I'm a great liar in that respect. He has no idea that I'm that badly off.
So, yes. Pointless, intrusive thoughts that have no basis whatsoever in reality. Fun. I'll keep working on modifying my thought process.
WAAAAHHHH HES TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER
WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH HES ONLY DOING IT TO CONVENIENCE HIMSELF!!!!
Please break up with him to stop wasting his time you vapid cunt
What if you are just genuinely unattractive and your boyfriend says otherwise because he's also ugly af and doesn't want his cum deposit to off herself after he worked so hard to obtain you?
>>24835470
I do my best not to think about my body at all. I can forget about it for hours at a time. The thing about intrusive thoughts is that they happen to be intrusive.
>>24835514
Can you not read? I don't want for him to barge in on this mess at all. I want to deal with it on my own, but he wants to fix illogical, pathological fixations through, as I have said, the magical powers of yelling.
I don't know where you got your view of this situation. Maybe you and my boyfriend have similar thought patterns? He seems to have come to problem-causing conclusions that are similar to yours.
>man
>body image problems
>starts working out obsessively, gets a sculpted body but always feels inadequate and hates himself
>woman
>body image problems
>hates her fat body so she turns to food for comfort
>gets angry and sad whenever she's reminded she's disgusting
>wants people to accept her body that she's not happy with
>may on rare occasions turn to retarded solutions like vomiting or starving herself
Why don't you to talk to a professional about your body image issues instead of continually complaining about it to your bf? Complaining relentlessly about it is not going to fix it and you are causing him stress too. He is going to keep trying to help you if you keep bringing up the issue.
>>24835795
Haha. No. He is being a rude, boorish shit because he thinks that he will solve all of the earth's problems through sheer stubbornness.
Something that is ruining my life just kind of bothers him because I don't smile convincingly enough when he feels the situation calls for it. I do not exist to look like a vapid little shit that can do nothing useful besides preen and smile. Women like that make me sick. If he's singled me out based on intelligence, he can very well deal with the fact that I have settings that are not "bubbly".
>>24835802
I'm aggressively average-looking. I don't look particularly good or bad, and my BMI is on the low side of average. I just happen to fixate on any vaguely fat-containing part of my body with extreme prejudice.
>>24836057
>rude, boorish shit
You're using him as an accessory, you don't want to be seen as "alone" so you've taken your best bet for constant companionship. You obviously hate this fellow- leave him for both of your sakes.
Related issue to OP
my gf is transsexual and hasn't transitioned yet
she complains endlessly about her appearance
is there ANY way to express how stressful and unwanted her behavior is without coming off like a self-absorbed, intolerant faggot?
GTFO you fat roastie. Your bf is only trying to be nice to get your roastie, you are ugly and disgusting.
>>24835850
Yep. That would be the stereotype. I don't get why fat people comfort themselves with food in response to being fat, though. It's literally self-defeating.
>>24835890
Perhaps you misread a few pronouns? He is the harping fishwife in this situation. I would rather not talk about it until therapy is at least somewhat successful.
>>24836134
Ignore it when this person starts up.
Don't argue, don't tell them about how you find them beautiful, just let it stew.
Eventually, that tomfoolery will stop because you aren't rewarding it with attention.
Fuck I wish my problems were just thinking I was fat.
If you're not happy with things you can change, change them.
If you're not happy with things you can't change, you're a fucking mongaloid.
It really is that simple.
The more you tell people that you are repulsive and unlink able the more they will believe you, which will then cause you to believe yourself.
The more confidant you are with your body, the less people will mind you, even if you actually are fat and repulsive or whatever.
I met two really horrible looking girls, one was a depressing cunt and the other was chipper and self assured. Guess which one was more fun to talk to?
>>24835213
Why are you making YOUR issues about him? You are an adult, right? Deal with your own shit, no other person can help or fix things inside your head. If you don't like what he has to say about it, don't fucking yap at him about it then. Even a trained therapist can only help you fix yourself, why do you think a random guy can wave some magic wand and make you feel better, he can only offer you options for tools that he thinks might work for himself.
>>24836199
thanks for the advice senpai, I will absolutely give this a try
>>24836134
>my gf is transsexual and hasn't transitioned yet
>gf
your dating a man you faggot
>>24836313
I don't give a flying fuck what pronouns you want to use, it seriously does not matter. I just want some advice.
>>24836083
That's the thing. Neither of us are actually kind people. Conversations with us inevitably turn into debates. We're at a place where there's a codependency from the realization that we are the only sane people we know. Talking is a relief because we don't have to stop to translate and explain ourselves constantly. It's difficult to have a meaningful conversation while playing the teacher and pandering to a set of mental blocks. Whether or not we are in a romantic relationship, we are inevitably stuck with the only other person we can commiserate with. This is more about salvaging a friendship than anything else. He's being awful about this specific thing, but I've been wrong on my own in other areas.
I don't need to forgive him for anything. I just want for him to stop poking me in an open wound.
OP he just wants you to get your head out of your ass so he doesn't have to do pandering bullshit anymore
whether or not you're ugly doesn't fucking matter
if you're "crippled" by your appearance than you're a weak fuck and you obviously can't find meaning outside of your shallow vanity
>>24836256
The depressing cunt, right?
Positive people are fucking annoying
Don't pretend like life doesn't suck
>>24836432
Well, if you're just two abrasive assholes who sit around being dicks to each other, call his dick little or something when he brings it up.
>>24836134
Based on my need to not talk about my problems with my boyfriend, this is pretty foreign to me.
I don't see a way out of this one. I'm on the train for ignoring it too. Not because it is necessarily attention-seeking behavior, like >>24836199 stated, but because everything you say will probably sound like a lie while they are spiraling. It's better to just not say anything incriminating and project attentive body language. Attempting to change the conversation with things that they find mentally engrossing works with me. If they're reading a book or working on a project, get into it just enough to know what bugs them about it. Three cheers for sublimating rage.
It sucks. I'm sorry.
>>24835364
you literally sound like the stupidest bitch on the face of the earth
>>24836573
Good luck, you seem like a nice person based on your writing style.
>>24836239
Well, I'm not so crazy about my dumb spiraling self-hatred. I'm trying to change that with therapy, which is by the numbers pretty commensurate with any other solution. So far, it's a process that is not done yet.
I also do not like that my boyfriend likes making this a measure of his capabilities. Any ideas on how this could be changed through a reasoned discussion that is not an outright statement of dislike concerning its general lack of helpfulness? That, strangely enough, did not work.
>>24836261
Once again, you're not actually reading what I wrote. I am not the one who asked him to help, wants him to help, or expected his brand of "help" to work. That was all, annoyingly, despite repeated logical statements, him.
>>24836453
The thing is that I derive all of my meaning from non-physical attributes. This makes me feel ahead of the curve and fairly satisfied with myself.
It is difficult to maintain this contentment when you are struck by the sudden illogical urge to carve yourself like a Thanksgiving turkey. I do not like these thoughts, so I try to not think about my body.
It is as simple as that.
>>24836518
You would think that responding in kind would work, but this subject tends to put him in a mood for unswayed confrontation. He knows the conversation will fuck me up. He knows his restated basic points of reality add no new information. He does not want to stop until I conceed that he is right, and I am wrong and therefore suddenly mentally whole. It's exhausting and uncharacteristically idiotic.
Do you have any ideas? I have run out of them.
>>24836892
Well what the fuck do you want him to do?
If he sees them as a delusion then obviously he's telling the truth from his perspective
He's not adding any new information because there is no new information to add
You're just not getting the information that's already there
I hope you can at least pretend to see why he might be frustrated
>>24836892
you won't make any concessions or really confront him so I guess your best route is to agree with him and pretend to be fine.
Then come back here and whine at /orbiter/ as we spam your thread with pictures of angry frogs.
>>24836978
>not posting cute frogs
>>24836604
Thank you!
I hope that she can get the medical attention she needs soon.
Just make sure to vary the distractions up so she doesn't start to associate Asimov/school/art/music with feeling like steamrolled shit.
>>24835516
LOL
NOPE
GTFO SLUT
GO GET ATTENTION SOMEWHERE ELSE
>>24837004
Those are moeblobs, not frogs.
>>24836950
It is obviously a pathological delusion, and I am self aware. We both know that I am crazy. This, to his chagrin, does not actually make me happy, comfortable, or less visited by intrusive carving urges. I don't know what to tell you if you don't understand. Do you heal a broken arm by saying that it is broken? This is going to take a few months and an actual liscensed professional. An hour of ranting from a frustrated friend isn't really equivalent to that. The whole point of this thread was an attempt to come up with a good way for him to stop attempting to fix broken arms a la Adult Swim's surgery simulator. Because pride tastes good apparently.
>>24836978
I do confront him. Unsuccessfully.
What logical concessions would you recommend?
Thanks for the future frog pictures.
>>24835081
Have you ever considered that your feelings of persecution is simply a manifestation of your lack of will to change? That, even if your boyfriend voiced his thoughts in a less hostile manner, you'd still disregard it? You say "talking means that he's doing something," as though he can do anything more than that. In fact, your blatant disregard for any introspective examination of yourself means that you expected him to be magically take away your insecurities or tell you what you wanted to hear with no mention of how he felt in the matter.
The truth is that because you're a woman, you've never had someone tell you a harsh truth about yourself. You've never been pulled out of the mental shell you've built around yourself where you think you know everything about yourself and expect others to know too. You've never had a character-building moment where you had to admit and confront something you loathed about yourself but didn't change because it was too hard or would bruise your ego. So, when your boyfriend presents you with a reality you reject, you do so because you've never had that experience of self-reflection and improvement.
Of course, you can dismiss me as some arrogant, self-righteous know it all who is just as condescending as your boyfriend. Perhaps I am. Perhaps that dismissal is fueled by your simple refusal to change.
>>24837597
Why do you expect him to know what to do in the first place? Seems like the best solution is just to stop talking about it and for you to solve this yourself, if he isn't getting it.
What's actually your problem here? What do you want him to say? Do you want him to somehow decode your shit and get to the bottom of your little problem? Why should he be bothered to do that? Why can't you do that yourself?
This whole situation is ridiculous. I feel like you're hiding a very basic desire to be listened to behind complexity and irrelevant bullshit. You have to fully acknowledge that nobody is required to understand you and not dismiss what they cannot understand. Move the fuck on. You can't be hung up on this forever.
>>24837647
I do want to change and have sane ideas about my meatsuit, thus the therapy. It's not an instant fix, though, so my boyfriend's interim need to shout me into health is both counterproductive and awful.
I find your curiously gendered stipulations for character-building moments curious and contradictory to the reality I have experienced. We could have a lovely metaphorical dick measuring contest over the Faulkner-worthiness of our shitty childhoods and the life in the wilds of being an adult, but that doesn't seem relevant.
>>24837827
The answer is simple: you've realized you're a skeleton living inside a person.
>>24837879
this
you're not delusional OP
you're waking up
you can't expect your boyfriend to understand
he is still sleeping
leave the sleepwalkers to themselves
>>24837776
>Seems like the best solution is just to stop talking about it and for you to solve this yourself, if he isn't getting it.
This is exactly what I want! He will not do that! He brings it up almost every time we see each other! It's like a child picking at an infected scab, or a dog gleefully eating its vomit. The differences between reality and those examples are that he is harming me instead of himself, and I can't put a cone of shame on a fully-functioning adult.
I have to use words instead.
He will not respond to logic, personal pleas, or a returned portion of childish arguing.
I am stuck. I don't think ultimatums are a good way to live. I wanted something other than threats. This is so fucking petty for something that hurts me this much, but his inability to be confronted as someone who has done wrong forces him to push forward into this stupidity.
>>24838001
just give him the silent treatment dude
when he brings it up switch subjects to something stupid
talk over him
put your hand in his face
direct denial my (wo)man there's nothing else that can be done
Link him to this thread.
>>24838034
...This is going to be a long five months, isn't it.
Thank you for your suggestions, anon.
your relationshit is going to fail if you don't seek help for your problems. either go see a therapist or accept the fact that you're a broken person who can never love anyone by breaking up with him and being a whore who dies alone with lots of cats
Post pictures of yourself you fat shit cunt.
>>24835113
Thread should have ended here.
Fuck the rest of these normies.
>>24838034
but above all, let him know that you're okay, he doesn't have to worry, that you're handling it
and that because he doesn't know how to help you he should stop trying and instead indirectly help you by just being himself around you like he used to
you gotta get him to stop thinking about it
and what are the root causes of why he's thinking about it?
I don't know cause I'm not you or him
but if you can alleviate those then he should shut up
>>24835081
If you want a bigger ass without getting fat. Do squats. If you want to be a healthy kind of thin, don't eat like shit/become vegan
Or you can learn from us men. We have the same kind of body issues but only worse. But we deal with our issues like badasses
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2oW7Nt5FO1M
>>24838082
>54m50n doling out the relationship advice
>>24838143
yes, I tell people not to do what I do
>>24838163
I know the feelio s-man
>>24838163
Why don't you just do what you don't do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY
>>24838137
I meant don't eat like shit AND become vegan. My last post was unclear. Sorry about that
Been with a girl like OP, they are just broken and don't appreciate any help or attention you give them. Like here >>24835292 she'll act like he's coming to her on a regular basis and just talking for hours on end, when the reality is that she won't shut the fuck about it, will complain about certain parts of her body, and will be a massive fucking buzzkill even though she has a boyfriend who obviously loves her, wants to shove his cock inside of her, and is happy about the way she looks, but that is never enough is it? "But I'm not happy" not many people fucking are, you grin and bear it and appreciate what the fuck you go going on for you before you ruin it with your neurotic ways.
Fucking cuntbag
>>24835081
Tell him that. Either he'll wise up or he'll get butthurt and the relationship will be over. Either one would be an improvement.
>>24838082
I am seeking help with a therapist for my actual problem. My boyfriend is counterproductive and impatient. I could drag him into couple's counseling for a double dose of the vaguely average results of talk therapy, but I was hoping to find some sort of way to convey "conditionally stop being a dick specifically about this thing/you can have a personal identity without a 100% success rate" without going ahead and germinating the need for him to be even more of a dick about the specific thing and spending on potentially wasted couple's counseling.
I am not smooth with people. I was hoping for some sort of suggestion in that direction if you have any opinions on the matter.
Like >>24838129. See? Look at him having reading comprehension and being helpful.
>>24838129
The root causes are a toss up between awareness of an unsolved issue, a specific and unaccustomed lack of personal agency, a frustrated inability to comprehend irrational emotions, and a personal view of reality contingent on the ability to pummel his personal neuroatypicality into submission.
Being a decent human being, he is probably also sad that he cannot help and has decided that suddenly being able to help will make us both be less weird and sad. Thus, persistence.
You know, the root causes are all things that make him fundamentally himself. It would be awful to wish that he wasn't a relatively decisive, self-confident rationalist who makes his anxiety super-productive. It's, well... him, you know?
I just would like for him to keep it all in his own lane. No luck so far.
>>24838429
All you want to do is fling shit in the air and cry when it falls and hits you in the face. Then this guy brings you an umbrella and you want to complain about that too. The problem is you, entirely. How can you not see that when you can write:
>The root causes are a toss up between awareness of an unsolved issue, a specific and unaccustomed lack of personal agency, a frustrated inability to comprehend irrational emotions, and a personal view of reality contingent on the ability to pummel his personal neuroatypicality into submission.
I suppose that you actually like all the attention he gives you for acting like a gross piece of shit. Quit being selfish and cut him loose so he can get a decent human being for a girlfriend.
>>24838353
It would be reasonable to assume that this thread contains large exaggerations and apply a typical regression to the mean for your expectations of my reality, but this is sadly not the case. Your relationship sounds like it was miserable, but I sit on the far and ugly end of the "How Much Do Boyfriends Realistically Like Arguing about Mental Issues" bell curve. I'm not the fucking NSA, so I do not have recordings of him initiating pointless hour-long conversations, but this is my life. I'm sorry that you were saddled with someone who thought that a steady diet of tired assurances fixes anything.
I do not complain because I know that I am actually very average in all respects. Also, I have no intent to follow through on any intrusive urges unlike this thread's consistent allusion to eating disorders. My interest in medical illustration paints a very clear picture of all of the fascinating yet unpleasant results.
Being in a relationship is more than being someone's cocksleeve, you know. There's supposed to be trust and some basic respect. I'm not getting those right now, and it is not a bizzare whim to want them. Fuck being happy. That's a performance for other people. I'd be content with being treated like what I am-- an independent person who is functioning. And it would be enough.
You can't put the weight of your insecurity on your boyfriend.
There's a reason it's called self esteem.
>>24838916
I don't think it's insecurity in OP's case, or really about appearance
She's having a meaty existential crisis from the looks of it
>>24838636
I don't enjoy what my brain is doing. People who celebrate neuroatypicality as though it is some sort of glamorized troubled genius bullshit need to be shot in the streets.
It does not matter whether or not I enjoy the experience you colorfully describe as raining shit. The precipitation is not linked to my approval or agency. It would be a lovely and kind universe if mental illness worked that way. Unfortunately, we live in the shit rain universe.
My boyfriend is unarguably a rude asshole, but he is still a great person. Everything that predisposes him towards awful actions in this circumstance is also a part of what makes him good. I think that many people are like that.
He just refuses to look at the evidence of this specific circumstance and then change his usual routine to better fit reality. Thus this thread.
>>24838429
Seems like he just needs to chill out
Seems like you do too
Gotta accept that you're a fleshy blubberball, what we are handed isn't always ideal
Are you planning on acting on your dissatisfaction with what you are?
If not, then he has no reason to worry, and there is nothing for him to "correct"
Sounds, to me, like he needs reassurance and to just take things as they are for now, with the promise that you're working on it to sustain him
>>24838932
Pretty much. I am super uncomfortable around sharp knives. The call of the void, and all that. Except constantly, like a pop 40's earworm about slicing off your flesh. It is not an experience I would recommend on Yelp.
>>24835125
>>24835213
>want to help a smart girl with pretty bad personality disorders
>trying to accept her for her issues and not change her dramatically
>she is pushing me away
maybe i should give up trying to comfort her
what the hell is this slut saying?
>>24839146
she is insecure about the way she look.
her boyfriend tries to comfort her.
she thinks her boyfriend is stupid so it doesn't work.
>>24839043
You've been very kind. Don't worry-- it's been about a decade of this shit and I'm still here. That won't change any time soon. I'll try to work with this context when he starts the next time.
>>24839105
Still reach out to her if you like her! There's a reason why there are mental health hotlines, talk therapy, and the human capacity for social alienation.
Mental illness isn't a one-size-fits-all deal. Just don't talk down to her, be reasonable, and be there if she wants. It is really that simple. Seriously.
It sounds like she's functional, but don't put too many of your future plans on a fundamentally unstable situation if that is the case. Just get to know her and get a read on where she is in life.
Best of luck.
>>24839025
>I don't enjoy what my brain is doing.
> The precipitation is not linked to my approval or agency.
You're just trying to recuse yourself from responsibility for your own actions. It's one thing to have a certain thought, it's quite another thing to verbalise it and quite another to defend how defective you are by saying:
> People who celebrate neuroatypicality as though it is some sort of glamorized troubled genius bullshit need to be shot in the streets.
It's even worse to blame your boyfriend for being rational when he either comforts you are tells you how to fix your problems. You're reveling in you condition and taking advantage of his kindness.
>He just refuses to look at the evidence of this specific circumstance and then change his usual routine to better fit reality.
What evidence? That you don't like your body - even though you freely admit that? Or is it that you aren't doing shit about it and would rather whinge like a cunt? What's he supposed to change other than his girlfriend?
>>24839105
A) run
B) stop enabling the shit that she hates herself for
>>24839146
>>24839203
Nope. I have weird intrusive thoughts that I'm going to therapy for on my dime. See >>24839072.
My boyfriend is annoyed that I am not immediately well for root causes stated in >>24838429. He has decided to fix this by having long, unconstructicve, and repetitive conversations about how I am still crazy. This has the great effect of fucking over my coping skills for the rest of the day, but he will not see reason due to a perfect storm of various, normally useful character attributes.
This is a thread about how to make him re-evaluate and stop.
>>24839404
>This is a thread about how to make him re-evaluate and stop.
He's not gonna, you need to make the leaps and bounds to fix yourself
Stop acting like he has some duty to sort out your problems in a correct way.
We also don't know the degree of the interactions; we have no examples, so it's safe to assume that you keep bringing it up. If he's really that rational he won't just barge into a room and bring it up.
>>24839404
>intrusive thoughts
that is called questioning yourself. your therapist will call it a problem because he is a quack.
You boyfriend is most likely attracted to you.
From his perspective your insecurity does not make any sense at all.
For whatever reason this doesn't work for you, either because you do not value his opinion, or because you're just looking for anything at all to get attention from.
>>24839339
>stop enabling the shit that she hates herself for
i genuinely do care about her. she has selfdestructive thoughts and i worry she will do them on impulse
>>24839270
she is literally all i want in a person. she is great in many aspects of her life but she is a social and emotional wreck. it doesnt help that our communication is mostly online. she can be distant and cold sometimes which i recognize is part of her personality, but she also demands attention and affection so i worry if she is seeking others.
Maybe she should get some social validation, hearing it from her boyfriend may not be enough
Cover all your basis; eating right, healthy exercise, going outside, SOCIALIZING, MEETING NEW PEOPLE, etc.
