Have you ever fucked an inanimate object, /r9k/?
yes
your mom
lol
>>24829058
I tried to have sex with a bagel once. It was cold and hard, so I microwaved it and proceeded to burn the tip of my penis.
>>24829058
a bathtub when I was in that phase
>>24829058
Strangest thing I fucked was probably a loaf of bread. I had crumbs all over my dick. It added a nice filling though.
Yes i'm not into bestiality of furries but I had a toy fluffy dog with a hole in it's belly, so I stuck my dick in but the edges gave my dick a paper cut or something
>>24829103
the phase for putting your penis in things or the phase for bathing?
when I was horny and 13 i had these gorilla slippers that I fucked and came in so often they got crusty and once I came back from school and they were back in my secret hiding place BUT THEY WERE FRESHLY LAUNDERED
i blew my load in an empty yogurt cup once simply because it was the only thing available
>>24829192
DID YOU CUM SO MUCH HOU FILLED IT UP THE CUP AND THEN PUT IT BACK SO YOUR MOM WOULD THINK IT WAS OYGURT AND EAT IT?
DID YOU
I stuck my dick in a tin can with oranges inside. It was mediocre but I came.
>>24829178
holy fuck that is the biggest cum shot ive seen in my life
thats crazy
>>24829370
Why is it blue though? Like seriously what the fuck that nigga just came a whole tub of blueberry yogurt.
Yup, lots of times in my teens.
Was horny enough to try to stick my dick in damn near anything once or twice.
Did not cum once from doing so though.
>>24829417
i didnt even notice that
im starting to think it might be fake but the dick looks legitimate so she must be holding shit in her mouth
how did she force it out of her nose tho?
>>24829058
Does you're mom's corps count? LOL
BTFO
###edgy
>>24829370
>>24829417
I have bad news for you dudes.
That ain't cum, she gagged and vomited on his dick.
>>24829058
what counts as fucking?
lay on your stomach with your dick between a pillow and the bed. hold the pillow down and fuck the space.
![atka_plush_wolf[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/35jd9wH.jpg "atka_plush_wolf[1].jpg")
>>24829058
amazing warmth
>>24829239
No senpai I just threw it away and thought about what a slob i am
I fucked a jar of peanut butter once
Who hasn't?
I actually have a fantasy/dream of owning a beautiful doll that also has something like a onahole built in so that I can fuck it.
A fleshlight, but I guess that's pretty normal.
I tried a toilet paper roll and found that if I started soft it would perfectly fit my dick when I got hard, but it wasn't any good to fap with.
I fucked my rented school trumpet before giving it back
>>24829058
Yeah, I invented my own fleshlight over a decade ago.
>buy a pair of floaties
>blow one up nice and tight
>squirt some lotion in it
>fuck it
Total cost of flotation device + lotion: ~$5
Watermelon
>tfw parents didn't believe you ate a whole watermelon
i bought a cheap blow up doll and fucked it like a mad man.
I have one of these, I don't even care no more
https://www.toydemon.com/meiki-plush-doll
>>24830869
Tried that before.
Fucking hurt my dick because their was a seam on the inside that scratched me raw.
>>24830879
They knew
Desu
I tried one of these once, but it had plastic fish in it and they hurt.
>>24830935
Even when I was 12 I could not actually get my dick properly in one of those to actually fuck it.
>>24830976
I had to stretch it to the limit and that's why the plastic fish hurt.
I have this stress ball shaped like a babies head that I cut a hole in and turned inside out and now that's my fleshlight. It's made of a soft, squishy, rubbery material and it feels so good.
Somehow this thread was not taken over by faggots or girls.
