Crying
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Well /r9k/, I cried myself to sleep last night.
I haven't cried in years. I thought my emotions were more or less numbed to the point where I thought I didn't feel anymore, but I couldn't sleep and thoughts were racing through my head about how pathetic I am and all of these situations that I've been in with girls and screwed them all up by spaghetti-ing my way out of the premises,how I have no friends to confide in, how I keep telling myself that I'm ok and am an emotionally strong person after going through some shit and not crying like watching my father die of leukaemia and being in 3 car crashes, but really everything around me is falling apart and I just realized how mentally and emotionally unstable I really am.
This time I cried, and I cried hard. Really, really hard. It got kind of gross with all the snot everywhere and I kept getting a shortness of breath.
However, I felt like there was so much pain and frustration being released. It was honestly quite relieving.
When was the last time you cried /r9k/?
Cant remember
wont be much longer now senpai
I think it was about 2 weeks ago. I was crying for a friend, who's been so hurt and damaged, and I just didn't know how to help her.
Last time I cried I was in boot camp. It was my first night there. I was thinking what a fucking mistake I made. 6 months later after all the training bullshit I'm doing pretty much the same shit I was doing before I left.
I thought it'd be good for me but nothing really changed.
I'm probably gonna cry tonight. Been missing some old friends from a couple years ago. They were net friends but I think those were my best friends I ever had. I know I was the happiest when I was with them.
Making friends is hard.
>stepdad mad at me, shouting
>try to hold back the tears, can't cry for the first time in like a year
>he ridicules me for being a pussy
He just wants the best for me I guess, but we're so different
>>24826422
Well shit, I missed a comma
I couldn't remember, so I decided to cry right now. Ha, funny that it worked.
I was home alone, watched the Road, thought about what it would be like to have a son. Thought about how shit women are, what it would be like to be in a situation like The Man.
Also, have some music to listen to, anons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bN-uD43ig0
Thought about how the world is shit and getting worse, that I don't even want to force another life to live in this hell.
Thought about how the whole story was an allegory of the author's own wife leaving him.
Surely it would happen to me too, inevitably.
Infidelity and degeneracy are the accepted norms.
I'm living on borrowed time. The thoughts of elaborate suicide are getting more frequent.
At work I'm getting closer to breaking down more often. Sometimes I tear up in the file room, this weird pinprick feeling in my skull, poking all over my brain while I feel like this.
I'm going to get the money for a shotgun soon I think. Go somewhere secluded like my grandpa's vacant farm, take some pills, listen to some nice music, eat a nice dinner beforehand. See my dogs one last time.
Is it selfish? I mean I don't want to ruin christmas for my family by associating it with suicide but I can't take this much longer. Maybe I'll wait til spring and see the green of the pasture again.
I don't know
I just want out
I can't remember the last time I cried, but I came damn close when I talked to my grandma the other day. She told me that she's just 7 classes away from her bachelors in psychology. At damn near 55, with a criminal history, her degree is going to be worth less than some faggot's liberal arts degree. She's finally kicked her drug habit (probably, I hope) and she's working a shitty fast food job to take online classes on a computer she can barely use, on the internet at the public library. She got in a car crash and got a concussion that gave her headaches for months, and still went through her classes. We're not really close because of her old habit, but fuck that's just crushing. She's been wanting that damn degree since I was in diapers.
>>24827278
Why didn't you tell her to go into STEM master race son?
>>24826260
i bottle shit up, then i do meditation to numb myself further
haven't cried in ages because i refuse to engage the feels, it would probably be quite nice to let go but it would also probably cripple me
>>24827278
>having a 55 year old grandmother
What the fuck, are you a gypsy or are you literally 5? My grandmother died at like 97 last year.
>>24827500
Well it's been about 6 or 7 years since I talked to her, so 55 is just an estimate to convey a point. She's old. I'm 20, but my family on her side is white trash so it wouldn't surprise me if she and my mother both had a kid before 18. I'm pretty sure me and my brother make up the first generation in our family to make it to 20 without having a kid. He's 23, so unless he has a kid in a year or two we'll probably both make it to 25. Even my upper-middle class grandparents on my father's side were taking care of my aunt when they started college. My parents don't even bother mentioning their desire for grandchildren around me anymore.
