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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Your preferred suicide method
>>24821728
smoking and being an alchohol
OD'ing on illegal mems
Massive CNS depressant overdose, possibly combined with exit bag.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c8d_1448844308
>>24821764
You prick, my brother was killed by an alchohol
Shotgun blast. Metal as fuck.
>>24821728
meme ogredose
muscle ralaxer that eventually stops heartrate.
>>24821873
should've oxidised that motherfucker, made that nigga keytone
Why haven't any of you succeeded yet? Just curious.
Helium suicide aka the bane.
Falling head-first from a great height.
Flying a plane through a building
overdose on pills
you can die in your sleep then
>>24821728
Tie a sharp wire around your neck
Super glue your hands to your head
Jump off chair
Looks like you pulled off your own head
Why wouldn't shotgun or handgun to the mouth/head be the best option? Is it because of the willpower it takes to pull the trigger?
Exit bag. That, or hand gun in the mouth.
>>24821932
I have. I'm dead as fuck right now
>>24822142
Because if the bullet doesn't pass through a critical part of your brain you'll end up surviving as a vegetable. Fully aware but unable to end it all.
suicide helmet
http://imgur.com/a/Z5mEB
>>24822319
shooting in your mouth cuts your cerebral cord killing you instantly
also a thin part of the skull, 9mm will be fine
By taking some normies to hell with me
Shooting myself and then falling out of the plane
neck on the railway tracks or carbon monoxide poisoning
>tfw no guns
>>24821728
Carbon minoxide, via propane or natty gas furnace.
Easy, not messy, painless, peaceful.
>TFW can't obtain guns in the UK without a licence
That's my easiest method gone. Gonna have to be more creative ;_;
>>24822349
that was a good thread
we all witnessed the fuck out of that guy
The only truly authentic way to commit suicide is to sit down and suppress the will to breathe. If there is a part of you that still feels the urge to breathe, then you are not 100% committed to suicide.
>>24822639
impossible
even if you made it to unconsciousness, your body will breathe naturally and you'll have zero control
>>24821728
I'd probably go for a heroin and amphetamine overdose considering it's easier to get your hands on hard drugs than it is to get a gun in the UK, plus it's probably a pretty smooth ride out. Only problem is it only has about a 40% success rate.
>>24821932
I'm a pussywhen will God let me die
>>24822639
lol you're an idiot
duhhh not original
I'm boring and would probably use an exit bag. Would anyone be interested in seeing that? I mean, if I do it I'd stream it for the lads if anyone actually wanted to see it. Would probably be boring as fuck though.
>>24822684
You have to concentrate on maintaining consciousness while continuing to hold your breath. I'm not saying it's easy. It's probably something only a Buddha could do.
If dubs I read the shit.
>>24822046
i wish i saw a pic or vid of someone successfully pulling this one off
>>24821880
>been in this shithole for so long that actually made me laugh
I'm done for.
Overdosing on sleeping pills, or helium tank
I don't want a gory or messy death, I don't want to be naked either
Good clothes, in bed, perfect body to find
>>24821728
Drowning in pussy
helium tank and exit bag
>>24821728
I can't reveal because everybody will use it.
>>24823467
please share
homemade quadruple barrel shotgun
haha :P
>>24823245
Don't forget, you're here forever m9
>>24821764
Alcohol poisoning takes decades of abuse and in the mean time you'll be shaky, sweaty, shitting non stop, develop a stutter and slow brain. The best way to die alcohol related is binging, passing out and choking on puke
>>24823664
very clever, silencing it so it doesn't hurt your eardrums
>>24822319
l've shaky hands and l'll just end up missing my frontal lobe and become a potato
>>24822618
Deep web and black market senpai
>>24821728
I'd trigger every one of my allergies simultaneously.
>>24821728
i wanna get memed to death, guise!
even its the most painfullest way
>>24824929
Then take a flight over Les Bain
>>24821854
lol look at that attention whore
>I'm gonna set myself on fire in public!
>Oh shit, fire hurts, put it out put it out put it out!
If I were to drink a whole bottle of vodka and chug antidepressants would that kill me?
>>24821728
The easiest way is to buy a generator and run it in a car with the windows up. You will die unless someone finds you. Bonus points for taking sleeping pills beforehand
>>24825021
when i do it, will i die?
>>24822046
From the chair, the glue, and the wire, it'll look like you hanged yourself and it cut your head off.
It also probably wouldn't cut your head off, just strangle you while cutting your throat.
I always figured that if I was going to do it I would get super fucked up on DXM and hang myself with a belt from the metal bar in my closet.
>>24825280
im sorry to say,
but it will kill you 100% NOT.
because my life is shit i took antidepressivants overdose and 1 + 1/2
vodka.
the only thing that will happen is that the next 2 days are absolut shit
45ACP hollow point to the brain tbqh family. I'd do it in the bathtub while holding a toaster in my free hand, so as to not become one of those people who fails at suicide and becomes a potato for the rest of their life.
Either that or I'd ride the wrong way on a major highway while on my motorcycle and hit the first semi truck I saw head-on whilst not wearing a helmet.
>>24825379
it wasnt a suicide attempt btw,
its was only out of misery
>>24825280
Probably not. Do some fucking research, if you're not being impulsive and can wait periods of time for planning, there are hundreds of effective painless methods.
>fentanyl
>ligature
>nembutal
>explosives
>HIGH height
etc list goes on senpai
>>24822733
>if I do it I'd stream it for the lads if anyone actually wanted to see it
If you want to stream it I'd be more than glad to watch.
>>24821728
>buy some rope from dollar store
>go to bathroom
>lock door
>tie noose and hang it on door knob
>wrap around neck and slide legs out
>blood circulation gets cut off so you pass out in seconds and go into a permanent comfy sleep
soon as i cant live the neet life anymore this is what im gonna do
Massive overdose of opiates delivered automatically so I don't pass out and wake up later. I live in a relatively large state with lots of wide, empty spaces. I could drive for a couple hours and then pull of the freeway and go deep into the desert. Get out of my truck and enjoy the night sky one last time before I do it. With any luck nobody will have to witness it and I don't leave brains all over my bathroom wall.
Learn how to fly a plane and fly as close to one of the poles as possible. Probably wouldn't make it half way before running out of fuel.
>>24825280
If you are female, Asian, paraplegic, 7 stone and haven't eaten in 12 hours, ya
>learn to explosives
>move to middle east
>make a bomb vest
>walk into crowded mosque
>strip black outer clothing, revealing American flag shirt and pants
>scream at the top of my lungs ALLAH IS A FAGGOT
>press da button
>hope it doesn't malfunction
>carry backup sidearm to an hero in case it does
bombing something
seriously
n-not to say I'll do anything like that now... h-hhahaha
>>24825528
>assuming dollar store tier rope will hold your body weight
Go to home depot f-a-m so it doesn't fail and you become paralyzed from the neck down
>2015
>not using potassium chloride injections to induce fatal cardiac arrhythmia
>not taking an entire bottle of retinol
>not flushing it all down with grape fruit juice and an entire bottle of everclear
>not downing a whole bottle of blood pressure medication to finish it off
stay on my level plebs
Protip, robots: OTC sleeping pills (and most prescriptions), suspension hanging, and starting the car in the garage are all now unreliable methods. Sleeping pills do not kill (only around 3% of attempts succeed IIRC), hanging is purported to be painless but it is indeed not, and car emissions being what they are now, it is not advisable to use any of these methods.
Charcoal is the answer.
>>24825853
>Buy 50mg of fentanyl from deep web
>Inject it literally anywhere and die instantly
Even if someone found me minutes after and called an ambulance, they would not have enough narcan to reverse the overdose. After 15 minutes you ded
>>24826051
>not going for the easier option and ODing on nicotine from vapes
>>24826051
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fentanyl
>Fentanyl is approximately 80 to 100 times more potent than morphine and roughly 40 to 50 times more potent than pharmaceutical grade (100% pure) heroin.
sign me up senpai
>>24821987
into*
exit bag with N2O instead of helium
>>24822522
well meme'd, my friend!
rrjghvbkrefdjgbfkerwj
>>24825776
>implying anyone will understand you
Is it suicide if you lose a fight with an animal? I always thought it would be best to off myself trying to fight an apex predator like a bear or shark or something.
>>24826321
Who cares, nerd? With the USA garb, they'll get the message. Give the little shits a taste of their own medicine lmaoooo xD
Knife in my chest right under my sternum, tipped at an angle upward.
>>24823253
real men use shotguns
>>24821728
Someone explain what's happening in pic related
>>24821728
A severed jugular.
Something about dying via bleeding out seems so... Romantic, dramatic, and much more dignified than an exit bag.
>>24826634
>[vaping intensifies]
>>24827160
I just spent the last 20 minutes rubbing vick's on a 12 year old bear chest.
>>24827323
Why were you rubbing vick's on a bear?
Gun shot to the head. If I had the money for a gun I would do it right now.
>>24827117
yeah except for when your landlord finds your stinking corpse festering in a pool of blood after 2 weeks. Blood squirts out in jets from the jugular, it's not a pretty death.
I always thought taking some hydros, getting a nice warm bath going with some candles and a bathbombno that doesn't make me gay anon, slitting my wrists all the way down, putting on some good music, and smoking a joint would be the best way to go out.
>>24828346
pick a fight with a nigger pays for itself
Lethal feed me with navratan korma. I just want navrtatan korma to kill me, a disgusting white piggu. I will buy the peas.
Self-immolation. After a couple minutes you've burned away your nerve endings and then you just wait for oxygen deprivation and/or massive shock.
>>24828428
I'm a black female so I'd get raped first no thanks. Seriously considering selling nudes on the internet to fund my gun purchase.
>>24828577
USA? I have a gun you can borrow
>>24828577
>Not becoming a crackwhore
>Not fucking dealers for drugs
>Not becoming a hooker to fund your addiction
>Or to acquire the gun
Nigger.
>>24828666
I don't know anyone who leads that kind of lifestyle and I don't like sex or drugs.
>>24828638
Do you live near GA? My car is too shit to drive more than 10 hours away without breaking down.
>>24828845
aw fuck, I'm sorry bud I live in California, but if you ever wanna suicide pact I'll join You, trying to get money to buy nembutal currently because I'm too much of a pussy to shoot myself. I was in a crazy hospital with a qt black girl once though, was that you?
>>24828577
>black
>female
>mfw my perfect girl was browsing /r9k/ all this time
>>24821874
Im considering doing this
>>24828884
If you didn't live so far away I'd say yes. I've been in the psych ward a few times. I've never had access to any good methods of suicide. I don't even live near tall buildings lol.
>>24829056
okay well here google google groups suicide method hideout and click on the first link, most of the people are attention whores and whiners but they do have access to painless methods and the peaceful pill handbook for free and if you ever wanna talk to a robot about killing youself and shit my email for friends I meet on here is [email protected]
>>24821728
The classic of course
>>24828411
I was thinking about this during a walk a couple hours ago.
I'd rent a tux, get a haircut, pick up some roses, and have suicide notes for my mother, father, friends and everyone else, all in a manila envelope and take a taxi at around 4am and then off my self right in the middle of Dundas Square. (Toronto fag here)
My corporeal body will be swiftly taken care of + I'd make it onto the morning news.
OD on a sleeping pill if possible. Other than that a big cliff/roof or gun will work.
Drinking myself to death "Leaving Los Vegas" style.
Might as well die doing the thing I love.
>>24829224
Too high of a risk of botching the shot and surviving with permanent disabilities and/or paralysis. I'd rather throw myself off a 40+ story roof.
Does toaster in the bathtub actually work? I always fantasize about that.
>>24821932
I got about 4 seconds of inaction away from crossing the line, and in that moment every piece of me almost literally screamed to stop
I hadn't cried in like 8 years but I spent the next half hour sobbing on the floor, terrified and angry at myself both for putting myself through that and for being too much of a pussy to go through with it
there's a very, very bold line between wanting to do it and actually doing it
I sort of want to shoot myself but due to gun control here in Australia I'd have to get the gun from some online market. Way too risky, but I'll give it a go if I do decide because eh, I'll be planning on dying anyway.
Will drive out to the country, drink a bunch, listen to music, take shitload of pills and shoot (pills incase gun miraculously fails)
Just hope my gf understands
>>24829445
>gf
I was about to say "kill yourself normie" but
If I jumped from the banister of a 5-story building and fell five floors onto solid concrete, would I die?
>>24829435
What method anon?
>>24829487
Potentially, yeah, but unless you have experience with diving, you'll just fuck it up and paralyse yourself
the chinese already figured out the best way, charcoal, look it up on wikipedia
>>24821728
I play legit russian roulette every month
What is the exit bag success rate?
>>24829445
Fight a kangaroo in the wilderness
>>24821932
I want to at peace with myself before I do it. Still working on that. In the meantime I work a shitty job and live in a shitty apartment and just exist
fat ass shot of 10 bags of heroin. very quick non painfull death.
>>24828279
Maybe the bear had a cold? How old do bears live to? Is 12 an adult for bears?
>>24821728
I was ready to go, I had it all setup ready to kick the chair from under me.. I figured if that was the end I could do anything.. or literally nothing at all, instead of ending it, I got down and decided to waste my life in music drugs and a japanese imageboard that understood me more than anyone I have ever met in real life
>>24821728
Fools!
only a man with no honor commits seppuku
I strive to become something greater, that IS my death.
The ascension takes you foward, into un-death
>>24829339
Can you buy me an Xbox one first?
hanging myself from a giant balloon so the whole city sees my corpse and the police have to get it down with a helicopter
>>24830010
does self stabbing count as seppuku?
Walking into a crowded area with an AK-47, shooting and killing as many people I can before the cops eventually kill me
is death by opiate overdose painful? asking for a friend
>>24830374
You end up pretty much puking yourself to death, but you're high as balls on opiates so you shouldn't really feel much
Carbon Monoxide.
>wake up at 4AM before the sun rises
>get into car and drive to a beautiful forest or at a view
>put on radiohead, listen to 6AM
>get carbon monoxide ready
>slowly get poisoned and pass out listening to music
>>24830440
How does one unleash carbon monoxide within a car?
Roll down window, connect hose to exhaust (tape?), opposite hose end into the car, seal off open window with garbage bag and tape?
How do suduko?
>>24830599
you're correct, that's basically all there is to it.
Does the helium tank with bag work?
>>24830599
I'm watching that episode now
>>24830374
>>24830397
Confirmed for pure ignorance.
Opioid OD's kill you via respiratory failure.
You fucking suffocate to death, nigger.
Mauled by a hippopotamus.
>>24830727
nah they have oxygen mixed in them now
>>24822618
Just go to Eastern Europe senpai
>>24822142
because not everyone is a murrifat with a gun.
>>24831007
(You)i
>>24828532
why choose the literal most painful method? people survive burns all the time.
>>24822319
>shotgun
>bullet
Either stab myself in the heart or fill a coat with stones and walk into the sea.
>>24831306
I like you senpai desu
>>24823253
You'd shit/piss yourself once you die.
>>24821728
old age and negligence
>>24828577
You should just be selfless and take some robot's virginity before you off yourself.
I'll get waifus too.
>>24821728
Shooting schools up then kill myself
>>24825379
>the only thing that will happen is that the next 2 days are absolut shit
>absolut
kek
I have thought about suicide recently.
here goes
Perfect suicide: set all my ordeals out, give a lot of my shit away. put all my bank accounts in the hole before i die. buy myself a nice last meal. I would have garlic shrimp and some nice pasta. along with a decent ammount of good top shelf vodka. and a dr pepper to wash it all down. i would drink myself into stupidity before i would go into my room making sure it was spotless before i died. i would then shoot up a near overdose ammount of heroine, and put a german luger under my chin the right way and pull the trigger. and then be greeted with the sweet release of death.
Most likley way i would an hero: probably a half assed impulse attempt that actually worked like idk overdosing on xanax or some shit. or an exit bag or suffocation.
rate?
>>24829619
pretty shit since they put a lot of O2 in with the helium now
greater chance at brain damage, you're going to have to couple it with an overdose
>>24821932
Bad luck/gypsy curse
Everytime I try I end up failing.
Test rope
Inspect it carefully
Make sure it's all in one piece
Make the noose
Proper height, it's made properly, tug on it a bit make sure it's stable
Alright took a shit, showered, comfy clothes
Put my neck in noose, kick chair away I finally fall feel a bit of pressure then the rope snaps and I fall on my face like asn idiot. Goddamn that's embarrassing.
When I went to check it looked like the rope was cut with a knife. Fuck.
Just inject yourself with 200 units of rapid acting insulin a few hours after drinking alcohol. You go into comatose and eventually die in your sleep.
>>24828845
Chelsea?
I took SSRI to treat my chronic depression a few years ago and the newfound energy was great for a while but the thought were still there. Long story short I got the saddest I ever was one night and in the span of a few minutes I decided during a rush of a delusion that the best course of action for me was to take all my medication at once to treat the problem. I knew what it implied and I didn't see it for what it was and still don't.
I don't take meds anymore, am still miserable and still fantasize about death but I know I won't act on it no matter how bad it gets without meds.
But yeah, otherwise I'll have to go with inert gas asphyxiation like helium.
>>24826075
This, this is what assassins use to poison people. A few drops of pure nicotine in hot coffee is effective poison. It will give you a hell of a buzz before you slip away into oblivion.
>>24833294
Why do heroin then shoot yourself?
>>24821728
I'm thinking about breathing oxygen, eating roughly three times a day, shitting and sleeping sleeping semi-regularly for roughly another 80 years
It's a pretty rough way to go, but I deserve the pain
>>24825528
>tfw actually tried this
>tfw I was too tall for it to be effective
>>24822046
>Jump off bridge
Now it'd work fine AND your body/head will end up in different spots after the cut.
>>24822142
>>24822319
Or blowing your fucking face off while missing your brain entirely.
Tank of nitrous + facemask
atleast i'll die happy
>>24821728
Just google some chemicals that can kill your ass in a couple of minutes then ingest of inject them into your bloodstream. My favorite is cyanade that you can get some certain fruits.
Although the best method is put a shotgun at the back of your head, aim for the back because if your medulla oblongata is destroyed then THATS IT YOUR DEAD because all of your autonomic functions are controlled by it meaning you can breath, your heart doesnt beat and so on absolute death. Also you dont feel jackshit because the parrt of your brain that allowed you feel pain will be shut off.
>>24821932
Can't shitpost when you're dead
>>24835027
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=bef_1375219396
LET ME SAVE YOU BRO :D
>>24835103
Fucking Christ.
End it already, damn.
>>24833374
You know being unable to breathe for several minutes as you slowly die is one of the most painful deaths imaginable, and in the middle of your struggles you will regret with all your will choosing to go out that way?
If I were to kill myself I would jump off a cliff or building.
>>24835103
Why the fuck are they trying to save him?
Help this man, give him the death he wanted. Fucking normies man.
>>24835103
JUST
FUCK
MY
SHIT
UP
bloxxxxoxoxoxoxx
Living, working my entire life, and then die of old age is my preferred suicide.
>>24835103
after this, he received a $150,000 medical bill
>>24821728
OD onsmugness
Cite your sources, buddy
