Whelp, it's officially over guys. After this I don't think I'll be talking to any women for a long time, too much disappointment.
Eh.
greentext it fgt
>>24817924
What happened if you don't mind me asking bro.
>>24817924
You tried online dating, brah?
>>24817924
iv given up for 2yrs now. zero effort. feels numb man
>too much disappointment
>expecting anything but disappointment
this one is all on you senpai
>>24817980
touche
>>24817951
honestly, in hindsight it's not even worth greentexting, i just thought this girl was into me but she isn't. it's always the "mixed signals" trope with me so it's definitely all on me.
>>24817960
I have, but no luck on that front because of the girls want 10/10 chad situation.
>>24818036
it's okay senpai we're in this together
The girl also said it's because she's not over her "ex", but I know it's bullshit so I won't entertain that idea. She most likely only said it because I brought it up, I should have asked a more leading question rather than giving her a statement she could use.
>>24818111
True, but I don't want male companionship anymore
nice trips tho senpai
>>24818058
You're not wrong, but tell me this honestly, how many first messages did you send out?
>>24818176
All of them except one girl I never replied to and another I wasn't interested in. I just checked my messages and one girl replied in a pretty decent way, but I really don't care for it anymore.
>>24818249
All of them? In a how-many-mile radius?
>>24818267
Less than 5, except for one girl who lives in New Jersey. She was really cute so that's why I did it. I live in New York City, so most of the girls encountered are from here.
>>24818312
Ah, I see. Yeah, NYC makes long-distance travel a little tougher.
Just for reference, how many girls would you say that is?
>>24818352
I'd never do a LDR, even though my efforts here are fruitless.
I'd say around 10, in the course of almost 5 months. The girls I messaged caught my attention so that's why I have such a small number of times I tried.
I'm starting to feel more like talking about this current situation though: Basically she was a girl who was giving me what I and others perceived as mixed signals; most notably when, without being prompted she asked me if I was still with my ex. I ran into her with one of our mutual friends, and before she left she said "we should hang out sometime" then IMMEDIATELY after that asked if I was with my girlfriend. When I told her I wasn't she said "yeah we're definitely going to hang out" The only problem is, she was drunk (but not visibly drunk) so I wrote it off as girls saying dumb shit when they're drinking
>>24818839
I talked to her later that night about us actually hanging out and she gave me a vague answer, so I brushed it off. I ran into her a month or so later at a concert and she was with her new boyfriend, she almost did the "let's hang out" routine but I noticed she held back, either because she was with him, I gave her a look that said "I know where you're going, don't bother", or because she also felt it wasn't needed to be said. Later that week, I ran into her at a train station, she did her routine again and told me to take down her number, but since my train pulled in I messaged her on facebook the next day and got it. After that it was a lot of back and forth texting, with her actually initiating conversations from time to time, and me unfortunately ignoring her for a good amount of that time because of the confusion she caused me. She asked if I wanted to go to a concert with her, but I worked that day.
>>24818839
Why not ask this girl of yours out then? Pull the band-aid off nice and quick. One question and you've got your answer.
As for online dating, man, 10 messages ain't gonna cut it unless you're a chad. It took me 200 messages to 8s and above in a 250 mile radius before I struck gold.
You said it yourself. Online dating is heavily skewed in women's favor. You need to really play the numbers.
FUCK i just erased everything I typed, god damn it.
Long story short, we talked, we didn't talk, she liked a picture of me I posted on instagram(failed normie so I have to have one), and texted me immediately afterwards, which everyone knows is universal for "hey, I'm interested in you." amirite? My birthday passed, to which she texted me saying "blah blah blah whatever happy birthday <3" really!? what kind of silly little message does that send a guy hmm?
>>24819002
to draw this underwhelming story to an end, we talk and ignore each other again until the weekend where she texts me, drunkenly" to come hang out with her and her friends at a bar by my job. this is another good sign from a woman, as confirmed by other women i told this story to. however, there was another guy there she was obviously interested in. I decided to stick around to see in what new ways I'd be kucked by a woman, but he ended up leaving and she seemed visibly upset. I also remember hearing bits and pieces of her talking to her girl friend about "wanting to bang some guy" and "how do i get him to hang out with me" and things of that nature I can only presume were directed towards him. we hang out, we drink, we have pretty decent conversations, eye contact, physical contact. she says that we have to hang out more, and I tell her how I feel about her, and our situation. We had what I thought was a pretty good talk about what we want, how her friend was telling her they like me and she should be dating me. She even said it to me a few times "i like you" and other leading things which made me think it would end well.
>>24818903
>>24819002
From what I understand, she's the kind of girl who throws bait all around and then waits for the biggest fish to come to her. She wasn't super into you but the possibility was probably open for a time. You missed the tempo though.
>>24819086
We stayed after her friends left, we talked about her "ex" some more, and she mentioned her dismay in my knowing of him(we used to work together), we walked back to the train, had fun talking and doing stupid drunk people shit, and she fell asleep holding my arm and resting on my shoulder. I should have made a move at the bar before we started talking about her ex(she even wanted to stop talking about him and I should have fucking made a move then). We texted a little bit afterwards and it seemed pretty good, but I suspect she hung out with the other guy the next day(saturday) and i lost my opportunity. She didn't text me all day sunday(it was kind of my fault, i ignored her for a few hours on saturday) and when I asked her about some thing she invited me to on facebook she gave me a bad response. I put all my chips on the table and asked if she's interested because I felt mixed signals, and she said no "because of her ex" she's not into anyone at the moment, but I know that's bullshit.
>>24819086
This guy >>24819106 may very well be correct. I think what he says would hold true with most girls in this situation.
BUT you should consider the possibility that she just doesn't know how to make moves properly. This was the situation I had with my current girlfriend. For the first few months I knew her, I was dead sure that she was just jerking me around for the sake of her ego.
Nope. Turned out she really liked me but was at a loss for what to do, and any time she'd wanted to make a move, she felt insecure because she thought I wouldn't reciprocate or whatever.
That's why I said earlier on. Just do a solid, "hey, dinner at [restaurant] at 1900. Just me and you, and we can go to my place afterwards."
Just do it, bro. I believe in you.
>>24819106
She's just an alt-stacy, and I fell for it like I always do. It's not about baiting, it's not about anything other than her small attention span, and her buying into the idea that girls are supposed to be spontaneous and difficult to catch. But it's all over now, so I have nothing else to do but run into her a few weeks or months from now and see that I was right all along.
>>24818925
Yeah I know, but I'm not willing to message a bunch of boring women in hopes that one of them will talk to me. Like you said, it's a numbers game and I don't have those numbers, so I'll play it safe and do nothing until I get definite green lights.
>>24819195
No, she knows what to do with guys. I just didn't make the cut is all. I tried asking her to hang out, and never got straightforward answers. She may claim >le awkward forever alone grill
But she knows exactly how to talk to guys she's into. I just wasn't one of them.
>>24819289
Damn, dude. That sucks. This kinda shit happens, though. That's why you eventually learn to avoid emotional investments with girls you have limited contact with.
Which brings me to...
>>24819269
You do have those numbers. Or rather, you can get those numbers. It's statistics. Message as many women as you can, and you increase the chance of one of them finding that you're the exact type of guy she's into.
>>24819002
>FUCK i just erased everything I typed
use ctrl+z next time
>>24819389
The shit of it all dude, is I didn't even "like" her. I thought she was cute, I just wanted to fuck. I'm more upset at the fundamentals of what happened, because this is how it always goes when I'm single: months of confusion, rejection, and disappointment until I somehow break out of it. And it's never a cut and dry "no I don't like you" sort of thing, it's always a convoluted "maybe she does, maybe she doesn't" situation. You're right though, the limited contact should have been a sign, but I was willing to initiate more, it's just difficult with a flip-floppy person such as her.
At this point, I don't want to anymore. A lot of the women on okcupid are boring, impossibly unobtainable, or some mixture of both. I don't even want to look at another woman on the street anymore, there's no more fun in it. All I'd be able to think about is how she'd run me through the proverbial wringer and set me back to where I started.
Fuck this shit, she replies back to me saying "yeah sorry i'm not interested in that way" like an hour later of me clearing up the fact that I wasn't into dating
Insult to injury man, she probably thinks I'm some loser trying to fuck outside of his level.
