I'm sorry for venting, I know this isn't my blog but I have no one to turn to.
>be 18 year old college freshman
>meet girl that's into me
>not into her at first
>she grows onto me by flirting with me and making suggestive sexual comments
>begin texting all day
>think she likes me, after a few weeks tell her i like her through text
>says she doesn't know, only has a "Weird crush", but well hang out and decide if shes right for me
>avoids hanging out with me for 5 weeks, ask her to hang out every weekend
>get hit with excuses, be suspicious that shes avoiding me
>ignored my suspicions because our texts are getting more and more sexual so i think she actually likes me
>after weeks of being ignored she comes out and says she feels like it would be awkward hanging out with me because im quite
>doesn't have feelings for me anymore in that way, but wants to be friends
>tell her to leave me alone, be depressed for a few days because i felt used and unlikable
>she texts me after a few days, I tell her to fuck off
>had so much pent up anger and energy that I began cut my thighs about a dozen times (in one night)
>be so lonely and depressed that i later text her and apologize, figure having someone to talk to would be better than being completely alone
>she later tells me that I cried when I told her off, I apologized again, felt like she actually cared about me
>didnt tell her I cut myself because of her, not that much of an attention whore
>begin texting all day again, she says she feels okay with hanging out if were only doing it as friends
>soon enough our conversations turn sexual again, says she has a crush on me once again
>end up hanging out for the 3rd time after 2 months of talking, actually went really well and we hit it off and wasnt awkward at all
>try to keep it small and kiss her on the lips to say goodbye
>she sticks her tongue in my mouth and we end up making out
>claims things are now awkward again and just wants to be friends again
>feel like shit for a few days, try to brush it off
>a few more weeks of texting and asking her to hang out with me (but shes busy all the time of course)
>while were having a conversation in class today, a friend asked her how her date with another guy went (he cancelled)
>turn my head and avoid the conversation
I don't know how to feel robots, I'm so fucking lonely and shes the only person I can talk to. I don't want to stand around while shes seeing other people, but if I cut her off I'll have no one.
Everything hurts so bad, the fact that she avoids me. The fact that I could get so close to someone who thinks I'm attractive and likes my personality, yet doesnt like me. The fact that she'll just move on like I was nothing to her.
She's sending you mixed signals because she doesn't actually give a shit about you, you're just the mysterious weirdo on the side she can use. Don't get used by anyone, you're not a bottom.
You'll soon be sucking tyrone's pole before he enters her.
>>24817555
>>24817559
Get out. Now. This is unhealthy.
>>24817621
She supposedly cares about me and likes talking to me in person and texting me; at least thats what she says. I'm not sure I believe it, and even if I did I still don't want to be on the side liking her while she sees other people.
>>24817683
I know, I can't stop thinking about this whole situation. But, is it worth being completely alone again?
>>24817555
Lol
Enjoy being her "backup plan."
Maybe you can get a job so when she settles down in ten years you can get her a big fancy house and a Mercedes.
>>24817707
>at least thats what she says
Do you know what you are?
There's that survey where like 75% of girls in a relationship said they had a backup, you're the backup.
>>24817775
>>24817818
I'm thinking of telling her I don't want to text all day anymore and if she wants to do something call me.
Or should I just completely break it off?
>>24817707
Listen, if one girl likes you another will too. This is unhealthy and childish. If you can separate yourself from emotions and keep talking to her then maybe you two will have sex at some point, but theres no use in investing serious emotions into something that is clearly messy from the start.
This is not how good things look. This isnt how healthy relationships are. Either realize she just wants to play games or give up enough emotional investment to play them with her. Those are the only sensible options.
>letting someone do this to you
How do people like you exist? I'm angry just reading it. Tell her to fuck off and go suck a dick you fucking spineless kek
>>24817871
Dude, if you've been cutting yourself because of her, it's not worth it man. I'm asking you as a fellow robot, cut her off. I know it's easier to just ignore anonymous advice on the internet, but I'm asking you to seriously consider what we are saying
>>24817555
>>24817559
>I'm so fucking lonely
The most beautiful thing about us is our longing; this longing is spiritual and has great depth and wisdom. If you focus your longing on a singular person, you put an unfair strain on it. Thus it often happens that the longing reaches out toward a distant dream-- but because it overstrains itself, it bends back to become cynicism, emptiness, or negativity. This can destroy your sensibility.
>shes the only person I can talk to.
These are your personal feelings, not objective facts. There's literally a thousand other people you can talk to. The only way to make the pain more tolerable is to build a tolerance over time, anon.
>The fact that she'll just move on like I was nothing to her.
Of course she will, people part ways all the time. Even people that mean something to one another. You were noteworthy, but you just didn't make the cut. Happens to everyone, and your suffering is in no way unique, though I feel for you.
Now its time for you to move on.
>>24817555
She wants you to think you will be lonely without her, but the truth is that there is absolutely no data proving that this will be your only chance at connecting with another person. This is a really common method of abuse/manipulation used in relationships to coerce people into sticking around; make them think that without you they will never have anything.
Stop lying to yourself.
>>24817555
>being a college freshman
stop talking to her, she obviously doesn't like you enough to respect you or your feelings. She's selfish and indecisive, and you're cutting yourself over her, the whole situation is unhealthy, you'll find other people anon, this whole situation is detrimental for the both of you.
show her you can't be thrown to the side and used as a back up plan, if she's a complete cunt she'll just replace you, if she isn't, she'll learn her lesson. but the main thing is to stop fucking talking to her, and don't be rude about it either, cut that shit off while keeping your cool and staying mature about it, if you blow your lid you're just going to seem like a butthurt beta
