Anyone here feeling like their life has no meaning or reason whatsoever?
As a 29 years old khv, I just don't enjoy anything anymore. I live with parents so I don't have to pay taxes or anything, I have no friends and I never go out, I live on cheap junk food, my job pays well and I have a ton of money, I bought so many nice things I always desired, but I don't enjoy any of them. I have bought a gaming PC, 4k monitor, audiophile tier headphones, but I don't enjoy videogames anymore, I'm so alienated I can't relate to any movie, and all music sounds boring as I keep listening to the same shit I've been listening to for years, I just lurk 4chan or waste my time watching shitty youtube vids. I bought a flagship android phone, and I have no one to call, no social media, all I use it for is porn on the toilet. I bought a nice little car, a full-optional Fiat 500, costed me 14k euros, everyone compliments me on it but it's just trash to me, like my 20 years old Twingo that I had before. I don't enjoy driving it, all I use it for is going to work, something that my previous car did just fine.
So what am I working for? I don't care about the company, my colleagues ignore me and I hate them silently, I do it for the money, but I don't need the money, I don't need any of this shit I buy. Now I'm ammassing money to buy my own house, but even then, what's the point? I'll be living completely alone cutting out the little socializing I do with my family, I'll just end up rotting away in garbage, just like my shiny faggot car, it's full of garbage and smells like a dumpster, and I've only owned it for 5 months. I don't have any hobby, and I can't find one, everything bores or just doesn't interest me.
I'd kill myself if I wasn't such a pussy, but instead I keep on living this worthless maggot life.
TL;DR I have everything but I enjoy nothing, and I wonder what's the point in this life.
At that point you're only lacking a romantic relationship and person to share your "wealth" with. It's really as simple as that. Sounds like you have all the basics down to get one: a respectable job. The next step is either finding that GF or finding real friends. Whichever one of those it is, it helps with the the other.
There's no point to life, clearly. What makes life worth living is not meaning, but the presence of joy. A miserable life is not worth living, a joyful one is.
Find something that brings joy to your life, anon. Vidya entertains kids, but you're way past that age. There may be a skill, a subject, a passion, a person, something that will reward you with joy for your dedication.
That's what you must find. If you have no idea where to start, try remembering your youth. Childhood passions are often genuine and tend to fuel the greatest achievements.
>>24814418
I'm too alienated and autistic to get friends or gf. Nobody likes me, I'm a manlet, I'm fat, I rarely bathe, and I have no self esteem. I'm not even a supreme gentleman, I'm rude, negative and I have no positive qualities whatsoever.
Even if I got a gf, I would most likely be uncomfortable with the intimate contact and having to share my stuff as I'm horribly possessive. Getting a gf (and then inevitably losing her) would be the push I need to finally commit sudoku I think.
And besides, I'm not even that rich, I just live with minimal expenses so all I earn is mine to waste. If I had to pay a bunch of taxes, kids stuff, gf stuff, social gatherings, I won't have enough.
>>24814545
I don't remember which passions I had as a kid other than videogames. Unfortunately I was born before Autism was invented in my country, my parents sent me to a couple of therapists but they diagnosed me with bullshit like "he's too smart so he dumbs himself down" (remember that Simpsons episode where the same thing is told to Bart after he cheats in a test and gets top score?), or "he's hyperactive". Looking at autists on youtube, I was like them, I had full blown autism. Now I'm just an old socially retarded sperg.
I'm not yet at the same level, but I feel like I'm heading there.
Got a reasonably paying job with some career prospects, but it's not something I enjoy doing.
Lately I've been trying to get my life back on track (finally fixed my teeth, now saving to get a flat), but it still feels pointless.
All I do is work Monday to Friday, then spending the weekend playing videogames. It's the only thing I'm looking forward to all week, since it's the only time I don't have to talk to anybody and can just have some quiet time.
I don't even remember the last time I went out somewhere, it has to be 5 years minimum. Weird thing is that before Uni I was a really outgoing person, had a load of friends, a girlfriend and got along well with people. Then just something broke in me. Now I can only tolerate talking to like two persons and even then the contact is superficial. I never share anything really private anymore with anyone.
Suicide is an alarmingly appealing option to me, there is not a week I don't think about it. Even have a few potential plans for it.
>>24814573
>I'm a manlet
No one cares, it's a 4chan meme. Stop being gullible.
>I'm fat
Work out. Sounds like you have much free time and this will actually make you feel better.
>I rarely bathe
How is that a problem? Just take a bath.
>and I have no self esteem
You're not a NEET. That's more than needed to feel worthy.
>Even if I got a gf, I would most likely be uncomfortable with the intimate contact and having to share my stuff as I'm horribly possessive. Getting a gf (and then inevitably losing her) would be
Chances are if you get one GF you can get a 2nd one. You also probably don't want to settle with the first one.
>the push I need to finally commit sudoku I think.
Yeah, no. If you wanted to kill yourself, you would have done it by now.
OP I'm a similar position (decent job, saving up to buy a house) and I'm planning to kill myself as soon as I get a gun permit. I have no reason at all to keep breathing. this is no way to live. even if a girlfriend showed up tomorrow I think I'd still want to kill myself.
>>24814707
I used to work out, but then I got bored of it. I even got some nice gains but not enough to be considered a fitfag despite my immense effort (it's the thing I put the most effort into). At first I loved working out at the gym, but after a while it just felt pointless to go on, as it was tiring (especially after work) and I couldn't get the gains I wanted. Being surrounded by turbochads and feeling inferior didn't help. I could buy some equipment for myself and set them up in my parent's basement but I'd get bored of that in a week, no doubt about it.
>>24814819
https://github.com/bibanon/bibanon/wiki/The-Return-of-the-Well-Cultured-Anonymous
This may help.
Screw the people telling you to get a gf or kids. What you want is a pet. A dog is way more loyal and lovable.
>>24814819
Did you just want to lose weight and stop being fat or did you want to become ridiculously ripped? Losing weight sounds more appealing.
>>24814220
you hit me right in the feels OP, your story makes me cherish the few friends i have left
>>24814902
Yes, and a dog will engage him in meaningful or satisfying conversations which will prevent him from venting and complaining on an anonymous imaged based forum.
>>24814949
>women
>meaningful or satisfying conversations
>>24814707
Just Bee Your Self~ oss
>>24814220
Man you got the perfect setup for life, why not try moving out and exploring new hobbies
Work out op, look to join a cross fit gym or a place that has classes. If you can't be bothered then you are doomed
>>24814220
I know that feel.
After years of wallowing in self pity, I put the effort into making myself desirable...and I hated it.
I hate to pretend being someone else, a stereotype, to be liked and accepted.
I decided to be myself, and be a social outcast.
I don't seek women anymore, friends come and go, and my goals are somewhat disposable.
I don't want anything out of life, and I don't feel like I'm missing out. All the "succesfull " people I know are happy and living the dream till their thirties, then they spend the rest of their lives remembering the good time they used to have.
Fuck that, what's success if you can't keep it from the decaying condition of time.
You should do what you truly want from the bottom of your heart, and if you can't find anything after time of looking everywhere, you should kill yourself.
Sorry if I was too hard on you anon, just trying to be sincere to you and me.
>>24815256
Sorry for my english , I could make it readable but today I'm just not in the mood.
>>24814677
Unfortunately not all of us can be guided towards self-realization and you seem to be in the uncomfortable position of having to find a path on your own. Your parents and your therapists couldn't help you, but you're still left with this important task.
I'll insist: find a passion. Your life is lacking in goals and rewards and only a passion will give you that. It's not simply about filling your time with hobbies, or some insipid concept like self-improvement. It's about the ambition, having those dreams that keep visiting you at night and make you wake up filled with energy, ready to do what you have to in order to achieve what you want.
I know you have that, all of us do. Life might have become bleak and forced you to forget this, but you still have it. That excited child exists in all of us, you'll just have to bring it out again.
Heres my opinion on your situation OP. I feel like you're living your life as you were conditioned to by society and the expectations of those around you. By that I mean you're expected to finish school, go to university, get a full-time job, buy a car, buy a house, make kids and become a boring adult. But have you ever asked yourself what YOU want, it's obviously not all this materialistic crap, you buy something you get bored of it. As a human we are all seeking social acceptance, but you need to just ignore what everyone else expects you to do and just go do what you want. I cannot tell you what you want though, a lot of the time I daydream about hopping on my bike and just roaming around because I like bike riding. What's the point? who cares whats the point to anything? there is no point life has the meaning that you give it, if you want to live in a van and play acoustic guitar all day with your dog then that's your right. What I guess I'm saying is to just mix something up, sure quitting a 'good' job may sound like a bad idea, but if you truely are miserable then what are you actually losing?
>>24815402
the problem i have ran into man, also not the guy you replied to, is that i can't find a place to be comfortable and bring that child out. my life is too stressful and dealing with all the bullshit of the world makes it really hard and i have no strength to make it anywhere close to being able to do what i want to do. i'll have to get some education and have some full time job to realize my dreams and ambitions, and the job and schooling i will more than likely not want to do in any way and i have no strength to even give it a shot
>>24814220
Same. Minus three years on the track, money and any relatable wealth, as I am poor as fuck. Joining French Foreign Legion next week, because if this won't change my life, then nothing will and I can rest easy that I tried.
>>24815511
But that's what I'm trying to say. If the ambition is clear in your head, every step you take on your way there will bring you the positive reinforcement you'll need to keep going. You just have to take the first step and start gaining momentum.
You only have this life, and unless medicine figures a way of stopping aging, your time is really running out. Don't be afraid of taking a shot while you still can.
>>24815402
Not the OP but someone who's going through something similar. I like the advice giving here but I have a question that pertains to me. What if I'm struggling with seeing the point in finding a passion? I feel like happiness is nothing but a distraction from the fact that it only exists as an evolutionary trait to help preserve the species. As much as it is nice to be happy and search for my passion, I'm always reminded that everything is, in essence, pointless.
>>24816020
You're partially correct. We are all running towards death, the extinction of the species is a certainty and in the timeline of the universe, our destiny is oblivion.
But you're equating life's worth to its meaning. Since obviously life has no meaning, than by these standards it has no worth. My point is that life becomes worthwhile thanks to the happiness you'll achieve in searching and fulfilling your passions.To put it briefly, existentialism.
>>24816020
There is no path
Beyond the scope of light, beyond the reach of dark.
...what could possibly await us?
And yet, we seek it, insatiably...
Such is our fate
>>24814220
>he have a job
idk op
personally i found god (i guess that's what constitutes the direction that i'm in.. sort of), but atheists are not atheists by choice so i can't tell you to read a bible.
was there something that you always wanted to do?
>>24816334
I just never have the motivation to pursue whatever I'm passionate about. I'll stick to something for like a day or two and then go back to fucking around on the internet and wasting my time. I never feel the drive to do anything and when I do, it's short-lasting.
I'm in college right now, and my GPA is good enough that I don't really need to study, I can get a B with minimal effort and that's "good enough" for me to have more time to waste on the internet and normie book and other bullshit.
OP, try different things, maybe you won't find it at all, but at least it's more fun to die knowing you've tried
>>24814220
Find something, anything, to sink time and passion into. Start painting, pick up a guitar, learn a language. Anything to get yourself out of the monotonous rut
>>24814220
You mother fucker are you me? I am lost. 28, I work a job I hate for money I don't need because despite all the expensive things I buy nothing gives me enjoyment any more.
If it wernt for my mums sake I'd be about ready to just call it quits right about now. I've failed as a human, I have no purpose.
When I'm not at work I just sit watching YouTube videos or other crap, chainsmoking my days away.
At least I'm not alone...
Post faggot car please
>>24814291
basically same as you OP except i make less money, live alone, and im 22
>>24814220
i relate to this thread so much
i think im too far gone.. all i want to do now is destroy.. any joy, any purpose, any meaning.. im wasting my life on purpose, sitting on r9k, because everything else seems so meaningless i want to rebel by doing absolutely nothing. i'll sit it all out and waste my entire life just to show that it means nothing.
Dude we are to similar not to talk you just said everything i do. Please lets contact each other and talk about are shitty life. Somehow.
>>24817766
I understand. To me, the will to achieve goals came out of an existential necessity: if I'm not really invested in achieving these things and I'm just going to linger in this morose state, there's really no difference between being dead or alive and I might very well just end it.
Just like you I acknowledge the meaninglessness of it all, but my passions keep me going. In a way they are a manifestation of my will to survive, against the nihilism imposed by the intellect. Maybe if you start seeing it as a matter of life and death these reflections might arouse the motivation you are seeking.
>>24814220
did you calcify your pineal gland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdUzM7PIvNw
somebody!
say something inspiring to me, to do something with my life!
>>24819299
you got dubs
read philosophy.It slowly changed my life.
Also,there's a youtube channel called The School Of Life
You need to find Jesus or Islam tbhfam
Start learning something that fascinates you and that you love
There's a 65 year old guy at my work who has just been a wageslave for 45 years and he is like a quadruple PhD in physics and math and publishes as an independent scholar.
