I got a real crazy brain. Fortunately it's not violent crazy or sex crazy or liar crazy. It's a crazy that I've lived with my entire life and it basically just manifests itself as absolute utter madness. Otherwise I'm pretty goddamn normal, late 20's, got a salaried job, close with my family, lots of friends and hobbies, active dating and sex life. But when I'm alone and I haven't taken my ADHD medicine the crazy comes out.
- I'm obsessed with the following words: bees, beef, beans. At least once I day I hear myself saying out loud: "Get beefy, bitch", or "Get REAL beefy, bitch" (I like to put a lot of emphasis on the word real)
- It's nearly impossible for me to pee at a urinal in public, and even at home alone sometimes. But saying things like "c'mon you lil pissbitch" quietly to myself and generally just berating myself seems to help a lot. Just to be clear, I don't actually hate myself. It's all nonsense.
- I talk to myself out loud soooo fucking much. It's so bad that I'll ask a question out loud and then answer it. I sometimes find myself using the word "we" to describe myself like I have multiple personalities or something but I don't, it's just me talking to me, and that ends up becoming we.
- I have a lot of musical training so I've got a great ear. I use that to sing songs to myself, sometimes in an accent or a weird voice, and usually I'll be replacing the majority of the lyrics with one of the above mentioned words...beans is the favorite here
I'm totally at peace with all this and honestly not all that ashamed really, just gotta make sure that when the person I end up marrying learns all of this that she doesn't get too freaked out. Occasionally I actually crack myself up with the stupid gibberish I hear coming out of my mouth. But I wonder, do other people do any crazy shit like what I've described? Or am I straight up certifiable?
>>24810391
I almost exclusively refer to myself as "we"
GET REAL BEEFY BITCH
BEEFY LIKE BEANS, BITCH
BEES KNEES BEEFY BITCH
thanks op, love it
It's normal man. People talk to themselves when alone, say silly phrases out loud, mimic things, sing silly songs and even in silly accents as you put it.
I like saying bacon, cabbage and chicken wing.
The talking to myself really is a problem for me too. I do that so much, i almost never sit around silent. No idea how to change it though....
>>24810391
I like to make silly noises
>>24810391
GET
BEEFY
BITCH
If it makes you feel any better I sing to myself and sperg out random words all day, because it's fun. For instance, I sing kekold over and over in various tones.
I think it annoys my girlfriend, but whatever.
>Otherwise I'm pretty goddamn normal, late 20's, got a salaried job, close with my family, lots of friends and hobbies, active dating and sex life.
If you made this thread and specifically stated that you DON'T have these things then you wouldn't have gotten any replies.
Now watch how I don't get replies.
You guys wouldn't talk to yourselves if you talked to people daily
I like making sounds with my mouth, usually imitating like small creatures in a lot of pain. Like a rat burning alive or a bird in agony. I also like making really weird fucking faces, as for the singing I too sing in different voices. Or talk in different accents.
>>24811241
70% of my daily interaction with my gf consists of making random noises at each other, saying words we've made up, singing random songs while adding our names in place of the words and just straight up meowing at each other and making silly faces and the like.
This isn't unique to people who are lonely, as OP has stated otherwise and this guy >>24811222
>>24811282
I'm a Brit but I like to monologue as a U.S. army commander when I'm alone
Confirmed non-autist here.
I feel like repeating words and phrases is akin to having a certain song stuck in your head and singing it often. I do the same shit, I talk in stupid voices, I especially talk in stupid voices to myself while playing vidya.
I also talk to myself and sometimes even speak out dialogue to myself on the fly. I'm a writer and a film student though so I think it's less to do with being a whack cunt and more to do with a creative mind always spinning potential stories/plot lines.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD so I think it's a similar issue - mind racing and your mouth spurting shit due to it. My partner doesn't mind at all, nobody should really care about that shit. It makes you goofy and charming.
>>24811292
Omg.
That is so autistically adorable
I'm sad now
My tic is "CHIPPY CHOO THAT"S MY NAME"
and then sometimes I say it like "RIPPY ROO RATS MY RAME"
also the phrase"gripping and sipping" or just "grippin sippin" in various melodies and registers
>Get REAL beefy bitch
I can't breathe
>>24811333
Don't be sad, you could have this too. It wasn't always like this, it just gradually progressed. Around others of course we are normal, but the feeling of just being able to spaz out like that without repercussion with someone that close feels nice. Before it I would do pretty much the same thing as OP
You're just as sane as the rest of us. You're not special, don't worry.
>>24811432
I've never had a gf. But I'm not bitter.
I hope your very happy together
I find myself in the shower repeating NIGGER over and over in my head.
I also sing "gas the Jews" a lot when I'm driving to work.
I also have a voice that use to ask me to burn my house down and my whole life with it as well as yell NIGGER with me but it's been quiet for a while.
I need help.
Everytime anxiety kicks in or i think about something I regret, I say socially unnaccaptble things I dont mean nor have any interest in
>sit at computer
>involuntary think about something embarressing i did
>start repeating "i'm mentally ill i'm mentally i'll"
>"i want to rape animals I need to rape animals"
>"it's really healthy to commit suicide"
I stop myself often because walls are thin and I dont want neighbours to hear me.
Also, one time i was drunk drove to the forest and I screamed really loud, really morbid and evil things.
No i dont intend to do it, it just feels good screaming these messed up stuff
>>24811508
Is it a voice, or just an intrusive thought? I get a lot of intrusive thoughts like this, I even get them about cutting my own dick off.
You haven't acted on them, so don't worry mate.
>>24811587
As long as you aren't acting on, have a social filter understanding that saying these things out loud in front of others is a bad thing, then you should be fine.
You'd be surprised as to the amount of people do such things like this. Sounds to me that it is anxiety based, hence your reaction to the intrusive thought.
>>24811638
It's a voice. I use to laugh at it and just be like "the hell is up with that" but it got worse and started to change from this disembodied voice to like...a manipulative voice trying to pretend to be my conscious or something.
I'm fairly functional aside from that. My family considers me a success but there was a time when this voice really had me under its spell and I did start fucking my life up. Quit going to work, spent every dollar I had on liquor and drugs and got ready to really fuck my whole life up and take as many people down with me but I woke up in a state of clarity one day and got emergency help.
Been a while since then though...
>>24811793
That's... that's schizophrenia. Be careful anon.
Who /OCD/ here
>tfw the amount of times I need to check something to put the annoying thoughts away is steadily getting higher
>tfw count my steps
Gettin real sick of this shit tbqh. My therapist wants me to take pills but I'm terrified of them
>>24811896
This desu lol
That's a fucking psychotic episode. Don't advise meds personally but keep a very close eye on it.
>>24811241
Nah, dog.
I've grown to like conversation as I've gotten older. I enjoy talking to strangers, people I've known for years, and myself!
Vocalizing my thoughts, and making it into a bit of a real conversation between two...entities, if you want to put it like that. Sometimes I like think of it as "I" and "Me" are talking.
Aiight, there ain't no way to type all this out without sounding straight bonkers. But believe me, as unhealthy or helpful as it may be, it ain't because I lack human interaction.
And as OP, I enjoy berating myself under my breath or in my head as well. It doesn't stem from low self-confidence...I'm far more confident in myself than I EVER thought I'd be. I don't have a low opinion of myself, either.
It is just a form of motivation for me, I guess. I'm perfectly at ease with it.
>>24811896
I was thinking that but I just somehow keep floating along.
I even have a gf and all that. On the outside looking in I'm a normie if there t was one but walk into my house and it's a whole different ball game.
I don't really know what to do about it.
>>24811709
Dont tell me whats fine or not fine, and don't try to psych-analyse me, you demeaning LITTLE WHORE!!!
I'm increasing my anti-social sentences by 200% and will now do it in public as response to your insolense.
>>24811587
Any time i think of something embarassing i did in the past, even decades ago, i start hyperventillating and think of ways to kill myself
Im at least not as bad as i used to be, but I hated myself so much in middle/high school that i wouldnt even include myself in my own dreams.
>>24810391
I shout nigger rape nigger fuck black people to death rape all.niggers for no reason sometimes. I feel ur pain>>24810391
I'm a special unique snowflake too.
And i'm totes random.
>serious replies
>>24812152
Please get help anon. That is absolutely not something you should brush off.
I COUNT TO SEVEN IF I NEED TO PEE, SEVERAL TIMES. I GUESS MATH BRAIN DISTRACTS ME FROM "OMG IM PEEING DONT LOOK" BRAIN
I often cuss a lot saying crazy shit in my car yelling at random people to go fuck themselves and for a bad driver to eat a dick. I also song random shit sometimea. One time i was singing "id dance naked in the street for you" on my way out of work and pretty sure a female coworker overheard.
Sounds something like obsessive compulsive disorder anon. Only seek treatment if it's actually impairing your function. If you can live with it then good for you.
>>24812322
I do have a scheduled appointment in my new city to see a therapist and have my files transferred. They want to give me a concrete diagnosis I think. Who knows what with though.
To a lot of people this probably sounds crazy but it's just how I've lived. I don't know anything else.
