Let the roast toast
>broken hymen
>wants children
>brown eyes
>nose ring
>tattoos
never
>"I used to party a lot but I've calmed down since then!"
>brags about not leaving the house/having no social life
>makes plans and then bails the day of
>uses multiple social media accounts daily (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, whatever the fuck else there is)
>texts/uses phone while out with friends/in class
And so much more
>>24803972
I read that line
>And so much more
in his voice.
>Posts pictures of her self on websites such as 4chan, especially nude photos / tit photos etc..
Big one for me.
>>24804019
>"And if you order now, I'll throw in "thinks she's funny" for free!"
>mustache
>can smell pussy from 10 feet away
>is a woman
>claims to be strictly heterosexual
>>24803914
She posts shit on her fuckbook. Anything from selfies to "really smart" pics.
No gf for me ever with that high standards i guess.
>>24803914
>>broken hymen
THHATTTSS NOT HOW FEMALE ANATOMY UFCKKING WORKS!!!!
>>24804516
okayyyy mister expert on girls, what do YOU call it when her viggyvag has been crashed into harder than the twin towers, huh?
>is anything but straight and white
>has had sex before
>grew up in anything but a loving man and wife and daughter household
>going to college for any of the SJW non-sciences
>has a fuckboibook account
>tweets
>plays a video game and uses a the in-game mic instead of a private skype call
>lets other people know she's a girl
>>24804516
Nice try spreading the "hymens can break from anything other than vaginal penetration" myth.
>is normal and well-adjusted
>no major flaws or issues
>fat
These are my only red flags.
>she doesn't want children someday
>she doesn't enjoy documentaries
>she rarely, if ever, daydreams
>she spends a significant portion of her budget on clothing & clothing accessories
>her order at starbucks, if anything, is more than 8 words long
>she applies so much makeup that she fundamentally transforms her facial appearance
>she tans
>she isn't a classical feminist (men and women are about equal overall, but different)
>she doesn't like cuddling
>she doesn't regularly exercise
>she swears often
>she clutters her speech with "like" and "uhhs" and "umms"
>she doesn't enjoy literature or other forms of escapism and fantasy
>she's interested in someone like me
>>24803914
>Not devout Catholic (""""devout"""" "Catholics" not welcome)
>Ever was a slut
>has had a long term bf before
I cant have feelings for someone that has claimed to "love" someone else before
>thinks any color of the LGBBQ gay flag isn't disgusting
>tomboi
God, i hate those freaks, fucking dress your gender bitch
Your standards are too high. It's probably the reason you explain your kissless virgin status.
I've dated a girl who's virginity I took, she sucked in bed. I'm now going out with a girl who's had way more sexual partners than I have, and she's filthy in bed and I love it.
>Friends are mostly male
>Exclusively plays minecraft
>Doesn't work full time
>Selfies
>Wears makeup
>Likes naruto/bleach/one piece
>>24805741
fag enjoy you unfaithful slut tho rolf
>>24805741
>wants a loving gf without the scent of 100's of cocks on her
>too high a standard
:^)
>>24805741
>Don't be a slut and share my religion is now a high standard
>>24803972
>uses phone with friends
every girl ever
>>24805155
fleshy dicks can't break steel hymens
>>24805816
I have a loving, faithful relationship. She's had sex with other guys, but I've had sex with other girls. So what's the problem?
If you do eventually find this unicorn virgin girl, guess what's going to happen once you start having sex? She's going to realize there's a whole world of dick out there that she's been missing out on.
ITT "The reason I'm a virgin is because I don't like sluts, not because I've a repulsive personality"
Every thread like this is full of turbovirgins who will wait forever for their pure virgin waifu to be dropped at their doorstep.
>>24805155
He's right though. Hymns technically stretch, not break/pop/whatever you think
>>24805945
'turbovirgins' lol
>>24803914
A big one for me is someone who chooses to be uninformed. I know a girl who is really nice but never knows what's going on around the world and blindly supports Bernie Sanders because everyone else does. Also:
>tattoos
>piercings other than ear or a dot on the nose
>overly into social media
And the biggest red flag of all:
>does not understand sarcasm
>>24803914
I have big brown eyes and I'll have you know they are very cute, and not poopy, they're just super dark, unless you're pooping blood your poop shouldn't be as dark as my eyes are.
>>24805978
>blood is dark brown
?
Be my gf anyway
>>24805952
Ya and they usually break from stretching from doing sports or gymnastics or trauma or masturbating or tampons, but you guys can keep pretending the reason you don't get women is because your standards are too high.
>>24805929
she's a roastie that's craving new dick behind your back
>>24805990
when you're pooping it out it's brown because the cells are dead which is why poop is brown now quit making me talk about poop
>>24803914
Has BOTH of her legs
Doesn't think the floor is lava
Can shrink to the size of a tennis ball, like all women can
Doesn't like for me to eat peanut butter out of her belly button
Doesn't chop an inch of her hair off her head every week so I can piece her hair follicles together and spray paint it, so I can look like Carrot Top
Doesn't sniff caffeine (like raw caffeine, like the whole thing)
>>24803914
I'd be more worried about a roastie who doesnt want children
>vegetarian
>smokes
These two things would make dating her a lot more difficult.
>>24806057
what the fuck is this supposed to be
>>24806016
What makes you think that? You don't know my life.
>>24806099
You know what this is supposed to be, don't play games with me Carlton. I know where you hide the Dolphin vaginas in a jar.
>>24805978
brown eyes will never be cute.
stop deluding yourself
>>24806157
I don't really believe that but to each their own, I know a lot of you people like to troll about shit that doesn't matter like height xD hahahahah soooo funnnnnny....not -.- whatever the fugg colour your eyes are will never be cute, stop deluding yourself, that's not why girls don't like you.
IF SHE EVER LOOKED AT A GUY WHO WASN'T ME OR FAMILY
NIGGA I AIN'T GOT TIME TO BE KEEPING YOUR ASS IN CHECK, IT'S EITHER ALL ME OR ALL ON YOUR OWN BIIIIIIISH.
HAHAHH SLUTS!
*is a scrawny beta virgin who has never even spoken to a female outside of his family*
>>24805586
I feel the same way. It would feel second hand.
>isn't a virgin
>claims to hate children
>brown eyes
>brown hair
>nonwhite skin
>tattoos
>piercings
>dyed hair
>wears corrective lenses
>checks facebook/instagram/twitter/etc. daily
>wears yoga pants outside of the gym
>doesn't wear skirts or dresses a majority of the time
>her parents are divorced
>she is a feminist
>she has feminist friends
>can't cook
>is 'educated'
>wants a career
>fails the wine test(selects chardonnay and/or holds wine glass wrong)
>isn't christian
>knows more actor and actress names than directors
>doesn't like anime and video games
>is obese
>isn't kind
>is mean to her friends, to animals, to children
>isn't playful
>is passionless, lacks motivation and has no desire to initiate
>>24805741
Too beta to teach a girl sex so instead you settle for sloppy 200ths?
Virgins are always better in bed than sluts. You're just a kek.
>>24803914
>broken hymen
You know broken hymen can happen with any activity like running or gymnastics yes?
>wants children
What is wrong with this? Is not so bad I am thinking.
>>24806410
What's wrong with Chardonnay?
>>24806479
It's just overdone. It's like asking a friend to pick up beers and he comes back with budlite. It shows they have no taste.
>>24806430
Look dude, I don't know how to teach someone to give a good blowjob. I'd rather have a girl who comes with the knowledge preinstalled.
>>24806496
You don't know what you like in sex? How would you know if she's good or not then?
>>24805517
They don't even break, it's not the broad side of a drum. Its a stretch inner ring that rips and bleds when you go too hard. THAT'S what people think of when a hymen "breaks" and it means you did it wrong.
>>24806496
NO I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG AND OYU'RE JUST SLOOPY 300THS BECAUSE ALL WOMEN LE HAVE SEX BECAUSE EWWW HAHAHH WHORRRRRRRES EXCEPT WHEN IT'S ME BECAUSE I'M THE ALL POWERFUL MASTER DICK THAT DOESN'T MAKE WOMEN WHORES BECAUSE WOMEN SHOULD BE FUCKING ME ANYWAY, RIGHT? THOSE FUCKING WHOOOORES
>>24806410
>parents are divorced
Whaaaaaat. Surely a robot wouldn't want to deal with having to actually meet her parents and get accepted into the family. Thats uncomfortable.
>fails the wine test
If you're here should you really focus on such trivial things?
>isn't Christian
Okay this has to be satire.
>cares if she knows famous actors and directors
This has to be satire. If not have fun with life alone.
KATIE PLEASE MESSAGE ME
>>24806632
Sorry babe, my standards are too high for you it seems.
>>24806536
Are you a failed normie or something? I doubt any of us know what we want in bed so why would her skill matter. Even if she sucks, so would you so it'd be okay.
>>24806650
Your standards are borderline autistic but it's not me looking for a gf so good luck.
>>24806653
no he's just butthurt that she'd have been attracted to people before him, the way it works in his mind is that she's totally blind to all men up until the moment she notices anon and then from that point on she falls in love at first sight with him and they lose their vcards like a bad high school movie. It's absolutely unspeakable that his pure virgin qt had anything of a life before him, he's the one pivotal moment in her life where things start going right and he's the one driving force to keep her sane, as soon she loses him she's just a whore slut who belongs to chad. As with most/all? guys on this site
>>24806536
>'How would you know if she's good or not then?'
By the number of buckets I cum.
Virgins suck in bed. They're all awkward and you have to go slow to not hurt them, boring! Give me a slut any day.
>>24806686
THEN YOU'RE A KEK BECAUSE SHE'D RATHER HAVE CHAD SHE JUST LE SETTLED FOR YOU SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO EVER HAVE ANY SORT OF SEXUALITY OUTSIDE OF ONE PERSON AND SHE MUST BE BOUND TO ONE PERSON FOR HER WHOLE LIFE BECAUSE THOSE ARE HEALTHY VIEWS TO HAVE ON SEX.
>non-white
>dated blacks in the past
>has non-white friends
>is a feminist or SJW
>dresses like a slut
>non virgin
>votes democrat or has parents that vote democrat
>>24806706
I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or not :/
>Is attracted to/interested in me
Shows she has shit taste 2bh
>non white
>doesn't work
>5 or more sexual partners
>piercings
>fat
>well known
>both parents are alive
>doesn't play some kind of vidya
>against mary jane
>talks to a lot of guys
Some are nitpicky and depending on who it would be cool, but I'm chill with my situation right now. I want romance, but not that much to where'd I'd be in an uncomfortable situation.
>>24806736
It's just a butthurt feminist false flagging because she's butthurt that an outstanding gentleman on /r9k/ refuses to date her for being a slut.
>Not from Asia or Latin America
>>24806788
holy fuck people are actually using this pic from that guys thread
im dying
>stupid
>fat
>is a normie
>hates drugs
>hates animals
>wants kids
>isn't fucked in the head
lesser flags
>vegetarian
>owns camera
>weird piercings
>tattoos
>>24806791
WOW LIKE HOW DID HE KNOW THAT'S EXACTLY WHO I AM AND EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING
LE WOW
LIKE DAMN I JUST CAN'T EVEN
BTFO
TOASTIE
EPIC
WIN
THIS GUY THOUGH
AMIRITE?
LIKE FUCKING WOMEN
UGHHHHH
VAGINAS
UUURRRRGGGGHHHH
SO MAAAAD HAHAH I WIN THOUGH IN THE END BECAUSE I CAN DELUDE MYSELF NO MATTER WHAT, AND I ALWAYS COME OUT ON TOP :^) WOMEN LE INFERIOR
>>24805586
i feel you anon
but nowadays that's getting so incredibly common most people have had one by the time they're out of highschool
>>24803914
>they have neckbeard white knights like >>24804516
