>>24801457
My mom's dad tried to kill himself in front of my uncle, fucking up that side of the family permanently. I can't do that to them, so I'm waiting until both parents die.

>>24801504
Are you a burden on your family? You can always make your death look accidental.

honestly nobody is going to read this but i feel like life is so fucking overrated. i think about all this shit i have on my mind that i'm stressed as fuck about and i think sometimes that the easier way out is death. when you're dead you don't have to deal with anything.

>>24801535
Nope, in fact I'm known for having my shit together. I just crash hard into depression for hours to months at a time. I'm really good at keeping up appearances though.

I told my self it was normal for the longest time but had a wake up call when I was about to force myself to sleep on the street because my apartment was too good for me and I didn't deserve shelter or food.

I'm wondering if I'm bipolar since it runs in the family.

>>24802166
Why don't you try volunteering or charity if you feel guilty about what you have?

>>24802213
Because it's only in those moods that I'm like that.

It's just sometimes I'll crash for variable periods of time. That time I was just out on the town for a night, crashed and ended up just sitting in an alley until 1 in the morning when I realized what I was doing.

>>24802083
Death really is more rational when you look at it.

Our lives are centered around maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain. When you realize your future consists of much more pain than pleasure, the best option would be suicide.

>>24802083
I read this, and I feel the same way.

Our lives are so pointless that it's hard for me to care.

I'm pretty terrified of death.

One of these days something is going to nudge me over the edge. I can feel it.

>>24802396
Well then if it really is as random and strong as you say it is you probably could benefit from seeing a psychiatrist.

>>24801457
I'm an asshole, if the system won't accept me I can still be a leech on it.

>>24802442
Don't worry, the fear of death eventually subsides as the fear of life becomes too great to handle.

>>24802410
>when you realize your future consists of much more pain than pleasure

That depends, stupid. Obviously shit happens and plenty of people don't have control, but a lot of it comes down to choices and mindset.

>>24802557
It also comes down to genetics and personality. I have so many flaws that I consider myself entirely unfixable. I am smart enough to see that I will not be able to change my future, since that would require me to change basically my entire identity.

>>24802528
No.

My mom was fucked over by a psychiatrist, I don't trust them.

Even if I went to the one at my Uni It would crush my parents if they knew. My brother died so I'm the only one left to keep the family going. I'm not going to be the generation to drop the ball while people are watching.

I'm just keeping everything running smoothly until they die and there is no one to disappoint when I kill myself.

>>24801457

vidya and anime are the only two reasons i'm still alive


i don't see any reason to kill myself while i still enjoy these two things

>>24802701
"While I still enjoy these things"

You will eventually find your life empty and those things empty too. What will you do then?

>>24802591
So what can't you change?

>>24802919
I could give you a list, but I don't think that's necessary. Pretty much everything about me is flawed, and I never had a real chance at life to begin with.

>>24802647
My mom kind of fucked me over with psychiatrists too, but I won't deny they can be helpful for legitimate mental illnesses.

You're logic is silly, don't hate a whole group based on the actions of a few.

If you're 18 or over your parents don't have to know who you see, and your psychiatrist can't legally notify them unless you're homicidal/suicidal.

>>24802741
then i would just kill myself since there would no longer be any reason for me to continue suffering through this hell.

>>24803016
I am just like you, only a few steps ahead in the game of life. I used to enjoy anime and video games too for a while.

>>24802971
Problem is I'm still on the parents' insurance and can't afford to get my own.

I'm good at not letting anyone know though. I'm very good at being normie when people are watching even when thinking about suicide.I've become very good at lying too if someone gets concerned.

If I feel a big break happening I just disappear for as long I can and no one ever knows better.

I've built a functional facade and life, it's basically what everyone does I'm convinced.