>>24800885
2015 has been a phenomenal year for me
I even feel like I don't belong on arkanine

i used to think life could get better now i know it will never get better


is that better

>>24800911
Nice my school year started out shit and i was failing calculus physics and spanish and i finally got them up to a b-

>>24800930
It can get better i just needed to stop smoking everyday

I thought it would, but everything went back to the same. Bad luck man, at least I tried.

It destroyed my self esteem; each an each by a day.

I just want feel threads. I don't give a shit about politics or religion... Seemingly they are people with gfs/bfs, with /pol/ views whilst imposing what's valid, or not... Really just fuck off, get your dick sucked, and your race doesn't care too much about you either.

I just wanted to say that. Thanks.

I've become more numb this year.

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I'm a wagekek now. the job doesn't make me consider suicide any less than I used to but I'm performing much better than the people around me and I've already been promoted once, so it's all good resume stuff.

I picked up the basics of programming at community college, and I'm going to start working on getting some certs since there's no way I have the time or money to get a degree at this point. hopefully that can then get me in somewhere, at which point my tendency to rise very fast in merit-based hierarchies will bring me where I need to go.

still a kv, though. I've been telling myself since last month that it's time for suicide if I don't make it to 2016 with at least the potential for getting a gf in the near future, and I think I'm going to hold myself to that. I've crossed the line between "want to do it" and "will do it" before; I know what it feels like and I've been over it a few times in the past couple of weeks, for the first time in years.

>don't do it anon, look at your professional life
I'd really like to make my brain stop giving a shit, but there are stupidly powerful subconscious needs I'm just not able to fight anymore. it's affecting my performance and pushing me away from other people; at this point I can't even watch movies or tv where people have anything resembling a fulfilling romantic relationship.

Funny I see this thread.

Use to visit /r9k/ a couple years back when it was reintroduced. decided out of the blue to check it out tonight after not lurking it for years.

My life was shit. Was in high school, didn't have much friends, acne like crazy, bad hygiene, never kissed a girl, but my main problem was I was just really socially awkward. I just couldn't figure out the concept of socialization with other people. was 'that kid' who never talked in class and just kept to himself.

Then college started and I was out on my own. Was young and hated how my life was going, so decided I was going to practice my social skills every day at my job (worked fast food, which also sucked.)

boy did I make myself look like a complete autist. Still cringe about the things I've said and done during those times. My social skills were so poor, it took a year or so, but eventually over time I got better. I just took every day as a learning experience.

I got my acne under control, practiced GOOD personal hygiene, started dressing better and just generally caring about my appearance. This also meant eating healthier and hitting the gym. Things were looking better and I was finally starting to see some hope dwindle into my life (albiet wasn't much, but some) still kiss less virgin during this time.

Then it happened. A girl was finally interested in me (she was a 6/10 on a good day). Anyhow... because I was so in inexperienced with talking to girls I completely fucked it up. It was me and her alone in her car in an empty parking lot. I had no idea how to flirt and she got visibly frustrated. I'm really going on a tangent here... but I had the easiest opportunity to fuck her but was so nervous I used a completely retarded excuses "err... I only have sex with women I've known for a month!" God, why I said that to this day I still have no idea.

But I learned from it. I started going out more, tried different clubs and met new people....

(cont)...And everyday i just took as a learning experience. My acne cleared up, I felt more confident, and was actually able to talk like a fucking functioning human. Quite the gym on and off, but got into the rave scene, which I really enjoyed because I liked edm and it was another excuse to meet new people.

I eventually realized shutting myself in sent myself into a spiral of depression, so I would force myself to go out, even if my anxiety was through the roofs. I couldn't even help it. My friend would call me up asking to check out a rave or concert and the whole drive there was just me being physicaly sickened with anxiety.

It took awhile, but eventually all the social anxiety dissipated. I started loving myself. I didn't even know the type of person I was because I shut myself in and never really discovered myself as a person.

It got to the point where I actually enjoyed going out. I realized If i wanted more oppurtunites, I needed to market myself and meet new people. Got a job as EKG interpreter making decent money for my age. made myself look like an idiot in front of different girls on my path to getting laid, but again I learned from my mistakes and was willing to change.Finally got laid, wasn't as big of a deal as i thought(had trouble getting a boner). and for the first time I actually saw a direction for my life.

And that leads to now. Trying to dwell into freelance work while studying business, hopeful entrepreneur one day. Life can get better, there is no one tip or advice someone can give you. For me, I just needed to leave my comfort zone and truly experience life. I needed to take everyday as a learning experience,I made myself look like a god damn fool, embarrassed myself plenty of times, but I learned and became more socialyl aware because of it, and I needed to build confidence to start loving my self. If I cant love myself, who can? Girls started to like me, people actually enjoyed my company, it was an amazing feeling.

>>24803704
>>24803723
Long post, but I just found it funny to see this thread after just deciding to visit here again before going to bed. Im not at the point I want to be in life yet, and I still have flaws I'm working on (need to quit drugs, need to get in a closer relationship with family) but its funny looking back at who I use to be....

Whenever I look at old pictures of me when I was struggling in life, it really does even look like the same person. When I think about my mindset I had in those times, It really doesn't even feel like the same person. I made small steps every day, and couldn't notice the change day to day, but after awhile I took a step back and realized the progress I made.

My life has gotten worse since discovering r9k. I can't leave though. As much as it sucks this place feels like home.

>>24800885
Since I've begun regularly coming to /r9k/ in summer, I've actually felt a lot better about the world.

Just because I've finally found a place with similar people and honesty about our places in life. (Wizchan may even be better for this, but I can't admit to being female there).

/r9k/ has boosted my spirits, somewhat. At the least, it's helped me through my horrible wageslaving days.

one time i got a internet gf but it turned out she wasn't real

>>24803723
>My friend would call me up asking to check out a rave or concert

Get the FUCK off my board

>>24804106
Lol. You're probably imagining something like an underground warehouse or some desert fucking light show with people blown out of their minds on molly and shit.

I live in Vegas, so a lot of Big name DJs play in venues. It was really one of the only places that I was comfortably able to socialize. And I liked the music so meh. You will meet your fair share of complete degenerates there, but mainly filled with good people.

>>24800885
Objectively. Yes, it cleared my head for more forward thinking decisions.

I have a GF and a job I like. I used to come here in 2009 and ask questions about asking out girls. It hurt me more than it helped, tbqh.