I posted this yesterday but I still feel like venting, so fuck it repost with some more detail. Thanks anons.
I've slept with like a dozen girls and had a couple of short term (<1 yr) relations but always had a crush on my friend. He's the only guy I've ever liked, but I love him more than I've loved any girl. The physical attraction is decent, I've had way hotter girls but none come even close to him in terms of personality /compatibility with me.
Was having some really mediocre sex with a girl last night when mid-thrust I had the realization that I'll never be happy if I don't get some closure with my friend. Not sure if shitty hormones or if it was some sort of epiphany. Maybe both who knows.
I think it's a 50/50 on him being gay or at least bi, I could just be way off here. He has never dated anyone but it could be him roboting. We now live on opposite parts of the country, but we talk together literally every day and I see him on holidays and we visit each other now and then.
Should I just "fuck it" and confess next time I see him over winter holidays? No one has any idea I'm (bi? I guess?). The friendship, which I value a lot since he's one of my best friends, may or may not be ruined, I honestly have no idea how he'd respond in this situation if he's uninterested.
Pipe dream best case is he loves me too and we go off being super gay happily ever after lol.
Green text version?
>Meet guy in 7th grade
>Vaguely aware of each other's existences for 2 years
>Casual acquaintaces for 2 years
>Become friends for 2 years
>STart liking him at the end of this period
>Really good friends for 2 years
>Keep alternating between sort of liking him and ignoring it during this time
>Super close/best? friends for the past 4 - 5 years
>Like him for a year
>Ignore it for a year
>Denied it to myself for two years
>(Mostly) come to terms with it about 1.5 years ago
>Start seriously disconcerting (more than ever before anyway) telling him about a month ago
What do??
In the interest of friendship, dont. Because if he isnt gay, he certainly isnt going to be friends woth you knowing your sexually attracted to him. Some things are better left in the dark anon. Trust me. At least you got laid though! Your doin better than alot of people.
>>24789787
This is dumb
You should be honest with him OP
If he gets weirded out, which he shouldn't if you're as close as you say you are, you can write off your attraction to him as being a result of your emotional compatibility and the confusion caused by it
Some things will cause you to be haunted by hypotheticals all your life if you keep them in the dark, and this is one of them
Don't be a homo about it, or flirtatious or whatever, though because that may skew his perception of you
Just straight up tell him that he confuses you
If he stops being friends with you then he's a shitty friend
>>24789893
Also it would be best to be in a state of inebriation or something when this happens
You don't want it to seem like it's on the forefront of your mind, but that it's one of those "weird thoughts", you know what I'm saying? The ones most people write off and only the closest of close people discuss.
If he doesn't respond positively you have to be willing to back off and dismiss it at a moment's notice, and continue being friends with him without acting like an awkward fruitlord around him
>>24789893
>>24789930
>Don't be a homo about it, or flirtatious or whatever, though because that may skew his perception of you
So like we act super gay around each other. This was before I decided I fucking loved him and we would just do the typical bros pretending to be super gay with each other shit and now it's just habit. Like we hug and cuddle each other all the fucking time lmao, and whenever we chat we just toss innuendo and explicit shit at each other all the time >.>.
>Also it would be best to be in a state of inebriation or something when this happens
>You don't want it to seem like it's on the forefront of your mind, but that it's one of those "weird thoughts", you know what I'm saying? The ones most people write off and only the closest of close people discuss.
>If he doesn't respond positively you have to be willing to back off and dismiss it at a moment's notice, and continue being friends with him without acting like an awkward fruitlord around him
Could be the way to go I'll think about it...
>>24789787
This was my course of action for years but see:
> I had the realization that I'll never be happy if I don't get some closure with my friend. Not sure if shitty hormones or if it was some sort of epiphany. Maybe both who knows.
>>24789787
try to figure out if he would date a man first, then go for it
Go for it. If you never do, you'll feel the regret of never having said a word to him.
I took the gamble and it paid off so I may be bias.
>>24790117
>we hug and cuddle each other all the fucking time
>whenever we chat we just toss innuendo and explicit shit at each other all the time
All bros do this, it's probably not that big of a deal
Source: my best friend and I always call each other pet names and he cuddles me and rests his head on my shoulder a lot but he has a gf
>>24790928
Jelly as heck. I think thats pretty rare, I don't think most guy friends would be okay with that at all.
>>24789715
THIS ISN'T FUCKING LGBT HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS BOARD IS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR AUTISTIC WHITE 20 YR OLDS GET THE FUCK OUT YOU FUCKING QUEER GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING FAGGOT NORMIE PIECE OF SHIT! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU GET AIDS AND DIE YOU FUCKING FAGGOT
>>24790269
I have no idea how I would figure that out. If he would he is definitely closeted about it, and it's not like I can just straight up ask him...I feel like that'd make my intentions way too obvious...
>>24790706
Fuck man happy for you mate, you're living the dream.
>>24790928
Yeah sorry if it wasn't clear, I wasn't saying I was reading into it or anything. I also do it with a few other friends (not nearly as intense as I do it with him though).
>>24790987
Yea some people are chill with it some aren't, I don't think it indicates much about their sexuality either way.
Fag, come on >>>/lgbt/.
Just tell him and off yourself if he says no.
>>24792353
I'd rather not inflict any possible undeserved guilt on him, thanks.
>>24793069
Just off yourself right now then faggot :)
>>24793919
I'm pretty happy with my life (with the exception of this issue) so no thank you.
Just do it anon I didn't tell my friend till it was too late
>>24789715
got to /lgtb/ with your gay shit,
why the fuck do you annoy me with your disgusting problems?
fucking gay attention whores
>>24796078
I already did D:
>>24795743
:( Fuck maybe I should do it to avoid those feels
