alright anon, whats your story?
no female companion
I was born, and now I'm here. Later I'll be dead.
My mom had borderline personality disorder and she'd switch from being an okay mom who cleans to being a psychotic bitch who drinks all day and tries to stab me with knives. My brain's all split up because of it, I have like no sense of identity and I have to hide and push away all my feelings. I think I'm developing borderline too, I don't know. Everything's really confusing. My dad neglected me too. He was never there, he hid from my family because he was too scared to take up any responsibility. There was never any food in the house, so I weighed like 110 lbs.
>>24789104
My life is a boring story of false starts, unexpected tragedies (albeit minor), building cynicism, crippling self-doubt, and disappointing outcomes.
You really don't want to hear it. There is absolutely no entertainment value.
>>24789153
I like your story brah.
>>24789104
Tequila please, thanks.
There's this girl in my class that I like, she might like me too but she has a boyfriend and I act fucking stupid and boring around her because I try really hard not to be as retarded as I usually am. Wat do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRp1G8Po3tM
>>24789104
No story to tell desu, I was born into conditions where it should have been easy for me to succeed, I just didn't.
I'm short, women don't enjoy fucking me, I'm tired all the time, apathetic, work averse. But I'm also warm, in a nice house, with a nice bit of money, and a closet full of drugs, so I'll take a drink and be on my way.
>>24789400
be the retard, humorous clumsy weirdness is actually appreciated by a lot of people
I just wanna know what's the point of any of this?
Why am I looked at with pity and disgust for not having what others do?
Why do I have to kill myself just to pay bills?
What is any of this for? We're all gonna die one day, why are our lives so full of time consuming shit and hate?
Why are we not allowed to enjoy life
>>24789486
Fuck, I'll try. Thanks, Anon.
I'm a chad. Banged a 7/10 asian virgin last night in fact and coasting through my classes because my teachers like me. I like to come here and see angry betas mad at the fact they've got no game
>>24789104
I have no gf and I'm a virgin.
Normies have ruined r9k. First they bullied us, made our lives a hell.. Then they come and just fuck our shit up.
They laughed at my virginity. Fucking normies. ree, Ree.
>schizophrenic
>no friends ever
>when i was 14 i found a gf who shared interests in things like anime with me
>happiest year of my life
>she moves away
>becomes tumblrina
>breaks up with me over text after i visit her, uses me for sex while i'm there
>currently in an open reliatioship with a harem of sjws, gained 100 lbs.
>been alone for the past 4 years
>off meds
>shitpost
>welfare
>>24789614
if you have to come to /r9k/ and tell robots that you have had sex you are
a.) not a chad by any measure
b.) objectively worse than robots
>>24789614
if this is true, you're insecure, you hate yourself deepinside and got enough problems of your own, but try to hide it by bullying people who have it even worse
>>24789104
Sorry if this is written odd. I just stayed up all night to finish a final paper.
I wish I had a "home".
I was born to and live in a military family. Every second of my life dragged around the world. Never staying in one place long enough to call home but long enough to hurt. I've learned to keep people away. Someone my age shouldn't have a list of people that I'll never see again as long as I do. My parent's can't relate to this, they had a traditional childhood. When we visited their home they were able to act like they never left. All of their friends and family where still there. After they are done with the military they plan on moving back. They believe that I will to, but I can't. It's not my home. I can't relate to the people. I don't have any memories of the place like they do. I wish I could just pretend that nothing happened, but there is no "before this" for me. It looks like I am going to have to find a way to move every 2 years on my dime.
If your career is the military, don't have kids.
>>24789104
>>24789736
Oh yeah, I'll have a coke. I'll be DD this time.
I literally have no idea how people flirt with each other and have no concept of how to start a relationship or date someone.
>>24789843
here you go mate
didnt you fix the problem by getting your own place?(this doesnt fix the childhood problem ofcourse)
>>24789736
Have you talked with your parents about this?
I also grew up as a TCK. I was able to tolerate it but only by making strong bonds with my parents and being open about my feelings toward moving around all the time.
I wish you luck, anon.
I was always weird and pretty fucked up, but things are getting progressively worse.
I just want to have sex for once damnit.
I'm almost 21 years old, my sex drive is fucking crazy and if I have to look at another one of those whores at uni who wear nothing but yoga pants in this ice cold weather I swear I'll start RAPING bitches.
Guinness, please.
Told a guy that I knew who I liked, figured he could help. He told quite a few people and now I'm worried it's gonna get back to her. Then there's another girl I like, at least twice as cute as the first girl. Try talking to her on occasion. She seems pretty uninterested in talking to me. No idea what makes her tick.
>>24789995
GO BUY A HOOKER ANON
>>24789736
I know that feel, man. My dad is a german professor and for my whole childhood he got bounced around uni towns every other year b/c the job market sucked so much. Now it's been years since then and I still can't form relationships properly because I know it'll end soon. My parents can't relate either-- my dad lived his whole life in California and my mom lived in Arkansas for 17 years. They always expected me to just "make friends" and "put myself out there" like I could just do that. Joke's on them, though-- I now live in a uni town but haven't moved in 6 years.
>>24789981
im listening mate
>>24790043
T-teach me senpai p-please...
How do I do it?
I keep running away
>>24790101
>forever ago
>saw people on this anime forum I went to calling Shinji a whiny little bitch
>watch NGE expecting to hate him
>literally the only character in fiction I've ever been able to relate to, right down to the bisexuality/just wanting to be loved regardless of the other person's gender
>>24789104
No fap week 2.
It is way more terrible than I expected. Mostly I can escape my urges during the day, but going into shower is fucking dangerous. Atleast I finally came around to study again and actually started a book. Maybe I am going to start drawing again too if things get really going.
Life is surely slightly more colourful with your balls not drained, but fuck do I want to unload.
>>24790092
>call hooker
>meet hooker
>fuck hooker
>kill hooker cus fuck paying
>????
>profit
>>24790150
>right down to the bisexuality/just wanting to be loved regardless of the other person's gender
I am familar with these feels
>can't find the motivation to write more of my research paper for uni
>uni has no pharmacology major so majoring in Psych before getting a 5 year masters
>find myself disinterested in a good half of the classes i must take
On the upside its exciting to have a career path for the first time ever and I might learn to dance salsa with a qt I've been seeing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bcq3NXomaQ
>>24789909
No I don't have my own place yet. Parents didn't trust me living on my own since I lived in Europe for the past 14 years. Dad is on his last duty station after half a year they'll move to their childhood home. I can't stay here (Alaska is expensive). I'll move with them, but I'm going to be trying my hardest to get out on my own.
>>24789951
They can't know. My mother worries too much. I can't tell what my dad thinks, he died mentally in the desert. They are all I have. (Goddammit I'm tearing up now). I can't let them see me like this. I still hear my dad's words that he said before the first deployment. I have to be strong for my mom and sister. (Yeah it's worse than just tearing up now)
>>24790058
Yeah, kids shouldn't be moved like this.
I'm just going to hide under my desk in hopes that no one hears me...
>>24789262
I don't come here for entertainment, m8. I come here for feels. C'mon, type your heart out.
I know it's a trick to make you feel more connected and tip better.
>>24789104
I've given up on trying to date girls and so on until I find "the one".
I know all you are groaning right now, but I've seen it man. The healthiest, best relationships I've ever seen (My mother and her fiancee/Her step-parents) both report that for them, it was like a puzzle piece. They just immediately connected and their relationship is easy. They don't fight (maybe once in a very rare blue moon), they get along and are comfortable just being around each other all the time.
The both advised me that a relationship shouldn't be work. It should come naturally.
So I've come to the conclusion that until I find somebody that just clicks with me, it's not worth pursuing a girlfriend.
Double rum and coke please
>>24789104
Just give me another whiskey will ya, and leave the bottle
>>24789104
I'm a shitty tryhard.
My brother is pretty much perfect and has a major's in computer science and years of athletics, also a wife with psychology degree.
My dad tried to make me like him.
It failed miserably.
My mom's dead.
>>24790294
Since you're into pharma/psych, can you give me the inside scoop on any OTC supplements I can take to promote overall brain health? Or advise against me drinking 5+ cups of coffee a day?
I hate getting older, I turn 25 next month and each year just sucks more and more.
>>24790070
Thanks, Anon, it's nothing serious but some venting could not hurt.
I was always a sad little shit, even as a child. guess my brain is not right. I used to be an outsider through HS, but I've had some friends and some will to live.
I've moved away for uni years ago and I'm completely fucking alone. I enjoyed this for some time, but isolation started eating away at me.
the stress that comes with uni is fucking me up and I procrastinate all the damn time. like right now. studying was the only thing I was good at, but I'm too depressed to properly do that now.
I'm too much of a fucking coward to ask a girl out, and don't believe anybody would want to spend time with me.
I'm chugging coffee by the litre, smoking like a chimney and popping benzos every day. I also binge drink till I black out every week.
I think my sanity is slowly slipping away.
thanks for reading my blog
>>24790365
Fish Oil.
Seriously. 2-4 capsules a day.
i recommend Alaskan salmon oil.
>>24790428
Not him, but I feel you anon.
Every single day I have either alcohol, weed, or caffine in my system at any given time. Doing work while buzzed + drinking coffee is the only way I know how anymore, and because of it whenever I'm not like that I have constant headaches. And then I smoke a ton of weed in order to cope with the workload at the end of every week.
I cant wait for the semester to be over so I can quit this shit. Its fucking awful for my health. I've been doing it for two straight months now.
>>24790032
Oh, and my friend is pretty much best friends with girl #2. No fucking clue what his strategy is to talking to her.tfw jealous as hell
>>24790428
the anon from before
do you have any hobbies anon?
why the fuck am i getting muted for typing this
>>24790365
I haven't been studying it too long but I can tell you a bit.
OTC Supplements often boast of being able to more than they can (and as such you will see often see on the label that they are not FDA approved). All i take is Vitamin D in the winter (no sunlight - i'm near canada). and like >>24790439 said fish oil seems to have some positive effects and definitely no side effects.
A large part of OTC are placebo effect so if you believe it works it can often have an effect.
Lots of caffeine has side effects, maybe try to limit yourself to 4 cups. there's a good mayo clinic article about it that you can google easily. the bot won't let me post the link
>>24790406
>22 and freshman in college and just learned to drive earlier this year
>look younger than i am, for instance someone actually mistook me for being a 15 year old the other day
>classmates are 18 year olds and think i am one of them
>almost backed into someone in a parking lot and they chuckled and asked me if i'm still learning to drive
sometimes i'm grateful i can't grow facial hair and have a baby face
>>24790300
>I'm just going to hide under my desk in hopes that no one hears me...
Alright I'm good. Amazing how remembering just a few words can make a person known for being emotionally distant break down in tears. I doubt that's normal.
Anyone know how to get the facial redness to go away quickly?
>>24790537
I used to lift a lot, and I was pretty /fit/. but I had to stop for a while, because it takes up too much time and energy from uni. my diet is also really shit now, I'm barely eating. I lost like 25 pounds of muscle.
I used to like vidya, but I don't enjoy it anymore. same with movies or shows, I've watched everything I wanted.
my main problem is that the workload is so fucking huge, while my will to live is so miniscule.
>>24789104
finales closing in, need to do pretty good to pass the course, did nothing during the semester hence why I need to do pretty good to pass the course, the final is cumulative and in a week
also have tendency to cripplingly procrastinate
>21
>Cognitive psychology major
>Drug addict
>Probably have Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder
>Seeing a psychologist because I feel like there's no more hope to life
>Awkward as fuck in most situations
>Almost forgot, probably got infected with hep C this summer
>>24790734
your main goal for now would be to find some things you enjoy
balance your stressgiving things and things you enjoy, that way youll at least feel a bit better
>>24790770
know that feel bro
>>24790785
hep C? shit anon, hope you've gone to the doctor.
>>24790734
obviously work is important and all, but don't let it consume your life. make the time, even its only half an hour, to hit the gym or go for a run outside. exercise is really great for mental health and that takes precedent over going 100% on all of your work. best of luck
>>24790859
Yup, first tests came back clean but since there's a fair chance that I might have some form of immunodeficiency because of my drug use, they don't mean shit
>>24790785
go to see a doctor as soon as you can, seriously, nothing else matters more than that
>>24790927
please see >>24790926
original comment yo
>>24790802
yeah, I know. but I can't find anything I enjoy.
I should get some friends, but dealing with people is such a hassle and I do not wish to jump through all the social hoops. or a gf, but that's almost impossible, given my cowardice.
>18
>abused by father my whole life
>have played vidya everyday since i was 8
>literally wake up, play vidya and go to sleep
>want a life with adventure and that is fun instead of just playing vidya all day
>have no social life, no friends, never had a gf
>have been awkward as fuck my whole life
>severe depression
>only living because i care about my mom and don't want her to be sad if i killed myself
>>24790968
Do you smoke, drink or do drugs?
Would you like some suggestions for hobbies?
>>24789104
I had decent potential. I'm 6'2, white, and can be pretty likable on occasion. Of course since i grew up without my dad, raised by a mom too busy to teach me much of anything, here i am. Mine is a life of could've beens, all i can hope for is to live a semi comfortable life before watching it all fall apart.
>>24790926
go to a different lab or doctor for a second set of results, hep C may not do much to you right now but it will kill your liver later if untreated
>>24791010
yes, yes, yes
sure, let's try it. reading, movies, shows and vidya are already boring for me.
We've got no future, we've got no past
Here today, built to last.
>>24791008
I was you 3 years ago. You can change, Anon. You can get better. You can learn to drive, become sociable, go to school, get a job, etc. It's all in your head. I swear this is true, Anon.
>>24791031
I already have a second and third set of tests scheduled for January and March, that way the three (it can, in some very rare cases take up to six) month time window is over which guarantees the absence of infection if the test comes back negative
Thanks for your concern though, appreciate it
I have social anxiety, and its ruining my life.
It makes my job a living hell, turns my friends away, and makes even going to McDonald hard as Hell.
The Only reason i havent offer myselbis because of my qt latino gf,who Im Not good enough for.
Someone help me
>>24791344
try anal with qt latino gf
>>24791293
hope it all turns out well anon
>>24791118
Go smoke at outside some public building, ask a stranger for a ligh5er and hit up a conversation, keep it general though
Is strange how easy smokers connect, even if its just for a second
Personally i like walks at night, just with some music
I like to climb buildings, its peacefull on rooftops, this might sound retarted but it really is, also, girls love stars, take some girl to a rooftop at night when youre ready to socialize a bit more
Go learn how to play a guitar, youll have something to do and people like people who play guitar
Travel, it will create memories, and the experience you get will give you some new views on life, also, youll have some pretty good stories and conversational subjects afterwards, just grab a backpack and hit the road anon, run without a destination
>>24791396
thanks mate, same goes for you as well
>>24789249
Scott? Is that you?
>>24791344
I have social anxiety but talking to mcdonalds drive-thru is easy as fug
It's when I'm having a real conversation with another human being or when a conversation gets intense, that's where I get pounding adrenaline and freak out, I am constantly on edge when talking to someone I barely know, I have to overanalyze fucking everything
And even if people like me, I'm still a spaze. I've had grills come on to me at parties and clubs and ask me to finger them or try to make out with me, I excused myself and ran out of the room, ready to vomit and cry.
I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS
>>24791461
No, it's just Andrew.
>>24791344
Social anxiety is in your head, youre afraid that you wont be accepted by anyone, the only way i know to ovetcome this is to simply dont give a fuck
Be yourself anon, there will be enough people who wont like you, and surely there will be some who will, do what you want, only help others when you want to, try everything you can and youll be just fine
>>24790631
I feel you bro. All of the girls that I hung out with with told me that they "feel like pedophiles" for loving me. Help me /fit/, you are my only hope.
>>24791528
They feel like pedophiles because you have the sexual maturity level of a kid or because you look like a kid?
I'm a saucy L
Negress who would like a free glass of warter
Say, why come us niggas has to drink warter but crack ass butch boys drink water?
Me in a nutshell, topical and sassy!
;_;
>>24791538
The latter. Kill me now senpai.
>>24791476
You're right man, im always worrying about weather people think I'm weird or a jerk, I need to not care
>>24791201
I want it to be true, but i don't know how to be happy and change
>>24791596
Go for it bro
>>24791596
*whether
>>24789249
>tries to stab me with knives
something about how you wrote that amuses me greatly
>>24791619
Thanks man, if you live in chicagoland I'd buy you a drink.
Alright bartender. I'll tell you. Be warned, though, it's pathetic.
>be me
>18 years old
>currently going through class to join an engineering school
>work a lot, still easy for me, but I don't like it
>almost no friends
>socially awkward
>don't even wanna become an engineer
>dunno what I want to do with my life
>feels like I'm throwing it all away
>tfw I have no dream
>tfw 18 and already feel like I should an hero
>>24791366
I tried to, she's down for anything except that :(
I was born into a family that gave me everything I ever asked for and encouraged me to invest in my interests and dreams...
I was in love with a girl when I was 16 and we had a stable relationship
I tried to get into college but I failed to do so because of one or many faults
I currently study at State college after ~2y at community
I currently no gf
I wish to be a sage
>>24791598
You can change, but happiness is a long ways away. Happiness is a symptom of pleasant circumstances. But for some people, those pleasant circumstances aren't just given to them, for some people, you have to work hard, and for other people, you have to work extremely hard to get there. But you're a lot closer to happiness than if you stay NEET for 3 years.
It's hard, Anon. It's honestly the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. But you can go to school, learn to drive, learn how to talk to people, get a job, etc. These are all things you can achieve but you have to put one foot in front of the other.
If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will.
Was a normie, still a bit of one now I guess. Used to go out all the time, have lots of fun. Which was weird since I was around 240 and as pale as a piece of paper. Now I'm 140 and would think of myself as a bit more "attractive" in other peoples eyes. In mine I'm still the same if not worse. I had big dreams, I was even on the path to them. The Christmas after I turned 18 I was diagnosed with epilepsy and almost crashed my truck mid seizure. Epilepsy took nearly everything I wanted to do from me. I had it all planned, now even though I'm medicated I still can't do any of those activities because of it. I learned to live with it, I stayed in school for a bit and even got a job. I was still social, just took a big dent. The medicine contributed to me losing so much weight. Which I was thankful for, but it also made me have huge mood swings. I was bipolar. I wanted to kill myself. After the medicine balanced out I got better. I'm 20 now, over the past year there's been something just beating my self esteem down. I'm still a virgin, I haven't dated since freshman year of high school, I'm bullshitting my way in college with a useless degree that won't get me anywhere except teaching high school government. Pretty sure I'm going to stay lonely. Which is fine and not fine at the same time. My Uncle, who was a savant, passed away in October. He was the epitome of innocence. He didn't let his disability get in the way of anything. He stayed happy. He had his video games. He wasn't supposed to live past 12 but he passed away at 69. It was unexpected and since then I've been getting depressed. I don't have an outlet because I work two jobs on top of school work. The people I would rely on left. The people that I did rely on ditched me and now just treat me like shit. Over the past week, every night I stare at the wall and want to kill myself. I'm just so lonely at this point. Surrounded by people that say they'll be there, but they aren't here. Pretty edgy I guess.
>>24791790
Your just going through hard times,man. There's still time to change your life for the better.
>>24791790
I'm gonna pray for you tonight
>>24791704
fellow uni guy here. I just recently found what i wanted to do, it'll get better but only if you want it to and take the opportunities that are given to you. there are more than you would expect
i have anxious/ambivalent attatchment disorder i cant get close to anyone i just shun all. but i cant be happy alone.
Parents divorced when I was 4. Had to stand having to move every two weeks. Living at mom's was pretty shitty but my dad has a lot of money. I went to a sorta poor school as a kid, I was the leader there, but when I changed schools everyone hated me. The new school was kinda sheltered and they didnt like that I was the smartest in class or that I didnt believe in God. It's not hard to guess what comes next, I never had a gf, aced all my classes but lack of motivation ended with me being a virgin NEET.
>dad died when I was 5
>after a long bout of depression my mum became a typical wine-drinking middle aged dog lady
>that and the experience with death left me socially stunted throughout primary school
>would cry multiple times a week, spent most breaks sitting alone outside
>continued onto secondary school where I managed to get some friends but never felt 'in' with any clique
>could have easily gotten a chubby emo gf but didn't, only chance at a relationship I've ever had
>felt forced to go to uni and do Business because it was the only thing I was good at
And now I'm 20 in my second year stuck surrounded by ultra-normies doing a course I hate. I haven't ever been able to find a part-time McJob so I'm fucked as soon as I enter the real world.
Just end it all now lads.>implying anyone will read this or care
>>24792058
If it is any consolation I would end you anon. I would end all of you itt
I'm so tired, my soul is tired. I just want to lie down and sleep.
serious question
how much chance do you think youd have right now, to get a stable job and a house/appartment
also, would you like to live before you die
finally, what would you like to drink anon?
>>24792058
I always feel like a scumbag when I read about guys who lost a parent or went through some shit and didn't end up NEET like me.
So here's a reply.
>>24792058
>>24792175
forgot to link you, sorry
>>24789909
>>24789951
>>24790058
I'm not sure if you are still here, but thanks. You helped me do something I didn't want to, think about my situation.
>>24792058
Hey man going to Uni for business is pretty impressive all things considered.
Try to make something of yourself.
>>24792280
im here, im also OP by the way
i saw i can help quite some people, do you think i should make a thread like this every night?
its not like i got anything better to do anyway
>>24792121
Now now, anon. No need to be edgy.
>>24792175
Very luckily I've got a house to live in already. My mum is still a great parent and after my brother went to Uni we downsized enough that we now own a comfy little Edwardian house in a decent small town.
A job, I'm on a highway straight to NEEThood m8. The most I'm hoping for is a full or part-time job at one of the shops a few minutes walk from the house.
Sorry, forgot to order. I'll just get a pint, the usual.
>>24792180
No need to be ashamed, anon. We're all fucked up here. Some of us have clearer reasons than others and even despite all that shit up there I still had opportunities.
My brother's a full on normie earning 30k a year in London and he's only 4 years older than me. See my reply to the guy above for the job part.
>>24792289
I'm not a complete fuckwit academically and my grandparents managed to fund the majority of it so it's not a massive feat. I'm not disadvantaged at all, I just didn't have that crucial social development.
>>24792351
You may be socially inept, but at least you have hope. University could change your life for the better. You just have to make the best of itsorry for the normie advice
>>24792351
heres your drink anon
you know, ive got this backup plan myself, to get a few thousand bucks, leave with nothing but a backpack, and just travel by foot/lifting whatever
youll live life to its fullest for a while, every day will be something new, and when you run out of money, or are still feeling like shit afterwards, then you off yourself
at least then you can tell god that youve actually lived, instead of just being alive
>>24792410
Hope and a degree ain't worth shit without experience and contacts. Especially in a personality-based non-STEM subject like Business.
My brother got a shit degree in Law but because of his social prowess and contacts he managed to get his job.
>come back home after 3 months in grad school
>parents gave away cats
>one is missing after they saw a big owl in the area
>>24792315
Only if you want to. I think it's good for some people to get this kind of stuff out.
I can see certain individuals shitting it up and ruining it for everyone else.
>>24792515
How attached to the cats were you?
>>24789657
>uses me for sexy.
lucky bastard
>23
>shelfstacker
>to afraid to talk to girls
>4 by 5 room
>vidya turned to shit last couple of years
>learning more and more that this world is cold and hard since living on my own
Only thing i look forward to every week is making jackass like videos in the weekends with a couple of friends and getting wasted afterwards
>>24792596
I got pretty attached to them since they would be the ones to keep me company for most of the day. I raised them since they were kittens for a little over a year while I was NEETing it up at home. The boy cat, the one killed, was the nice one who would lick your hand if you pet him. Also, one of the girl cats is kinda dumb so there's no way she'll survive the outdoors.
>born in to a poor as fuck family
>3rd world country
>mom is super overprotective because her sister got kidnapped and murdered
>didn't gone out till I'm 8
>have no idea how to interact with other kids
>get raped when I was 9
>grow up to be a avoidant, depressed and anxious mess
>no gf
>fat, small dick and manlet in my puberty thanks to no sleep from depression and no decent food from no money
>25 years old now and still have no idea what to do
>only thing you can do if you don't belong to elites here is to work in a min wage job till you die to make 5k a year
>too retarded study engineering or other science fields to up myself from my class
>tfw no hope
>tfw nothing
At least I have anime.
I can't do anything right. Every time I try to change my life for the better I always end up worse than I was before.
I was a normal kid in early elementary school but my parents started to get very angry at each other all the time. According to my mother, my father was very heavily into cocaine but I am not sure how true that is.
Anyways, they ended up divorcing and I went to live with my mom with my sister during the weekdays, and we would live with our dad during the weekends. When we were with our mom we would be staying with our grandma because my mom had no way to afford her own housing. I ended up changing schools probably 2 or 3 times and was always an outsider at the new schools.
During fourth or fifth grade we all had to go back to live with my father, I suppose we could not live with our grandmother for whatever reason. I think that there was a lot of animosity between her and my mother. Around halfway through fifth grade my sister attacked my dad with her very long fingernails, and he went to the kitchen and took a large knife and said he would cut off her fingernails. My sister told my mom this and she took us away to a different state, where we stayed at a long term shelter for probably 4 or 5 months. Typing this just reminded me that we had spent a while in shorter term shelters over the years.
After those months, my mother had to go to court against my father because she had taken us, and she lost custody of my sister and I. During the time that we were with her she had filled our heads with toxicity about our father. I remember crying and screaming that I would "give that bastard hell" when she came back to the car from the courtroom and said that we had to go back. And so now years later I still do not have a good relationship with my father after living with him for a decade. I do not hold any ill will towards him but I choose to isolate myself completely. I also stopped talking to the few friends I had halfway through tenth grade.
Seems like a bunch of familial overreactions and petty infighting turned me into a reclusive loser. Sorry for longposting.
>>24792750
I'm so sorry man. I know that feel all too well. My cat died this summer (right after I quit retail) from cancer. Out of the blue too. One day he was his usual self then next he is super sick. He was my only friend.
Pic related, less than a month before his death.
>>24791344
how the fuck did you even manage to get a gf with social anxiety?
>>24793809
He's probably a troll honestly
Either that or so lucky he should buy a lottery ticket
>>24791704
I know how you feel, only I am 19 and not in school, and the only "employment" I have is occasionally helping one of my fathers friends package things for shipping over Amazon.
I really want to die but I am a pussy who can't even kill himself.
>20
>studying physics
>shelfstacker in the evening to face uni fees
>just do my shit everyday like a machine
>lost all social contacts before i could notice
>no social life, no sex drive, no interest in women whatsoever
>im just continuing my life like a machine
i refuse to be part in this society because nobody should go down to my level, i literally deserve nobody, they all deserve better
but you know what? this somehow makes me happy inside for some reason
