who /Iosing it/ here?
>tfw messing with BIG GUY and his friends
you don't get to bring friends, to be honest.
yesterday: damn im very drunk and im very sad to hear the girl i was in love with now has a hormonal disorder and became bipolar
today: haha serves her right for being a bitch. dodged a bullet there. no wait.. no..
>>24778369
I FEAR NOTHING ANYMORE
>ten hour shifts everyday
i am always angry
i am always tired
I was walking around after midnight with my pipe and a bottle of cider. I hallucinate. I'm irate. I like to be alone. I see myself ending my life before 30.
>chewing gum
>bite my tongue pretty hard
that taste of blood
>>24778595
What do you do with all the money you make?
i masturbate and cum to pictures of myself every single day and it feels better than cumming to porn.
>>24778353
You're my only friend, anon. And I will never know you.
>>24778369
H O T H E A D
O
T
H
E
A
D
>>24778353
Me
How do I get away from my parents holy fuck
>>24778353
THE SPIRITS OF MY ANCESTORS ARE WITH ME
>Be a wage slave serving food
>Work 10 hours shifts, 6 days a week
>Sometimes 12-14 hour shifts
>Coworkers and boss still get mad at me for trying to leave
>Girlfriend has mental issues and is either angry as fuck or ignores me when I get home
I swear one fucking day I'm going to kill them all.
Should just go Roman on chads. Send those barbaroi back across the Rhine to reclaim our qts if it is the last thing we do.
>at work
>go to sharpen knife
>suddenly beset by past memories or situations that I would like to be in
>can't tell what is real, honestly feel like I am split in half
>co-worker asks me if I am alright
>say I feel fine
I don't think I'm fine, this feeling happens often
>>24779179
Was hoping someone was gonna talk to me about this.
I often hear a voice in my head. It's my voice but it's more sinister, I see it as an alternate version of me. Whenever a stranger so much as looks at me it starts screaming abuse at them like
>fucking bitch
>dumb whore
>stupid faggot
>fucking retard
etc.
Also when I'm very sad it shouts at me too
>stupid fucking faggot
>dumb autist
>kill yourself retard
>no one loves you
etc.
To be honest I think it's a manifestation of what I've picked up from this board. It's probably unhealthy for me to keep coming here but I'm addicted.
I've been thinking about making a tulpa to ease the loneliness but I'm worried it will taint it.
>>24778595
Same senpai
Feel like I'm waiting for a day of sleep which never comes
>>24780898
Wee lad sounds like me its 5 am for some reason I inky sleep good at 10 am but that's impossible
I think I already did kind of lose it. I could give examples but honestly just thinking about it and trying to convince myself to even just post this is making my head spin. Idk fambotz
>>24780803
sounds like schizophrenia dude
>>24780803
That's how mine started man
Then it progressively got worse and I lost the plot. Couldn't leave my house or anything
Got sent to a mental ward for trying to kill my mum and resisting arrest with the police when they came to my house
Weird part is, I don't remember. Phychosis sucks, senpai. Seek help before its too late
>>24781002
what the hell does a shrink even tell you? i know im mental but i dont understand what a stranger is going to tell me that changes anything.
I'm getting more and more violent everyday with my outbursts becoming more intense, I'm worried that the next person that looks at me wrong or says something wrong to me I will hurt them very badly, I don't want this to happen and I don't why this is happening.
My hands are all swollen and bruised from punching walls.
I've been taking benzos inconsistently for about ~3 years, initially as a form of self-medication. It's now week 3 of my cold turkey and with the way I was using, I have no idea how to go about tapering; my doctor just tells me to book myself into rehab whenever I ask about getting any form of professional help.
>very sensitive to changes in light; sometimes I'll see things in the corner of my eye, when the light intensity changes
>phase in and out of focus (very difficult to maintain focus)
>feels like I'm cycling through a dialogue wheel, even when attempting basic conversation
>pupils are constantly dilated
>restless leg syndrome at very peculiar points of the day, i.e. when I'm about to get ready to go to bed
>joints are stiff and experience aches and pains throughout my lower body and my back
>can't remember the last time I got a solid night's sleep
>can go up to 3 days w/o sleeping
>during actual panic attacks my eyes start involuntarily blinking 3 times a second and I feel very light-headed
I haven't made any progress in my studies 2bh and i also need to buy christmas presents but my father is being a dick about it and won't tell me when he has time to drive innacity
Also i need to cut my hair again
Also when i just took a fat shit my sister came in and was all rushed again
>>24778353
Already lost it 2bh. Trying to get my body to catch up.
>>24781193
tapering is easy
first figure out your normal daily dosages
lower it by .5 mg every 2 weeks till you hit zero
the trick is to go slow
>>24781041
nothing but the anti psychotics work wonders
thread theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd9OhYroLN0
I've started whistling and laughing to myself like a fucking cartoon character. I also check my room and bathroom for cameras and microphones occasionally and keep my gun loaded next to me in case of a home invasion.
>>24781449
who /noided/ here?
>>24779331
Be more specific about how you felt during the "split in half" time.
>>24781474
Go to sleep, Stefan.
Derealisation out of nowhere, has made my life hell for the last couple of months. I don't know if it can be cured. I feel like my environment is a dream and I can't focus on anything. Only times I become lucid is while wanking or watching videos.
>>24779179
>>24779331
I like your picture.
I daydreamed so often through grade school, teachers thought i had add and tried to push drugs on me. Truthfully, school is just boring as piss.
I think I'm gonna strangle a cat tomorrow to see what it feels like.jk
I think i have multiple personalities in my head, and they each come out at differing times and constantly argue with each other.
I'm on the edge of the slope boys. I go from loving myself to wanting to die everyday my emotions are all over the place. I just want to die so this ride can be over already family
>working 10 hours everyday
>earn around 60$/h
Use so little of it
>donate half my earnings to charity
Just kill me, I have no family, no friends Irl or online. I'm just alive, on the weekends I get drunk enough to forget it all but only for 1 day, spend the rest sleepinh/preparing for the nezt week.
>>24781218
same with the studies... it's just that i have no motivation to study and I'm always tired which makes it even worse
It lost it awhile ago. Now I'm just enjoying the ride.
>>24778353
Lost it mate
>>24782237
>donating to charity
It's good but be careful who you donate to, majority of charities are largely profit organisations with the owners on ridiculous wages, paid by yourselves, with 'expenses' as bad as PM's not included in there wage
