any suggestions to overcome social anxiety apart from therapy? exposing myself to social situations worsens it
'Meditation' will throw your anxiety together with drive.
Start by killing yourself.
>>24740243
have some grade A quality advice from the golden age
>exposure
That's only a part of it. You also have to practice proper coping behaviors too. Getting a panic attack? Learn to progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and deep breathing. Overcoming any behaviors that's reinforced itself in the past (e.g. your anxiety being reinforced by your escape behaviors) takes a while and lots of practice.
>>24740243
I have severe social anxietyamong other thingsand this is what worked for me:
>get a wagekek retail job and be a greeter
You'll literally just stand there and say hi to strangers while offering them shit they don't want. It'll put money in your pocket, slowly teach you how to socialize, and it comes in 4 hour increments. At first you're going to hate your life and curse my name, but over time it becomes easier when you realize that there are some nice people, and the rest don't give a shit about anything. If that doesn't work, there is another secretxanax, clonaz, or adavan.
>>24740348
>progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and deep breathing
Escapism. Becoming preoccupied with one's sensations will solve nothing, it will just make OP even more emotional.
My doctor just told me to 'go outside more'.
I guess she was angry because I asked for benzos.
>>24740419
Benzos are shit and your doc probably knows it too. If you're desperate, you could get shitty, unregulated, mass-produced from a shithouse in India/China, RC benzos. But those are even worse.
>>24740528
I'm already planning on doing that, I'm gonna get some etizolam.
>>24740559
As somebody who's been self-medicating for 2.5 years, let me tell you that symptoms from tolerance to benzos is hell.
>phase in and out of reality
>feels like I'm cycling through a dialogue wheel, even when answering simple questions from my parents
>aches and pains all over my body
>super sensitive to changes in light
>suddenly feel out of breath, for no apparent reason
>severe increase in all symptoms of prior anxiety
Unless you've got someone who can monitor you, so you don't take them long term, I'd avoid brain chems like the plague.
>>24740740
I'm just gonna take them during panic attacks, once or twice a week. I have online friends who have been doing the same for years and have no tolerance to benzos at all.
>>24740799
I suppose it depends on how bad your anxiety is. For me, I'd have panic attacks almost daily where I would spend anywhere up to 20-25 minutes in a public toilet just to 'recharge'. But the whole "no tolerance to benzos", if you're friends have been taking them consistently for "years", is bs.
better off drinking than taking benzos, they are highly addictive.
What in particular do you struggle with? I have some excellent advice but I'd like a little context so I'm not talking in vague generalities.
>>24740954
OP here
i'm terrorized by girls, i never want to hang out with my few friends because it makes me anxious, i always assume people don't like me (and i don't understand if i should just socialize more or people actually don't like me)
>>24740243
Go to therapy moron, it changes your life
>>24740397
Yeah, some random chucklefuck on the internet is bound to know more than psychologists. You should really listen to this guy, OP.
>>24742217
>>24742247
Been to therapy and been doing CBT for like two years, it doesn't help at all. Anxiety and depression are medical conditions.
>>24740243
drink about 1/8 cup of bleach a day. i cant explain why it works, but it does
Remind yourself that nobody actually gives a shit about you. Think about how "much" you notice other people's behaviour and know that it's all in your head.
It doesn't happen in a week but it will slowly get better.
Xanax.
In all honesty, benzodiazepines may help in the short term, but will lead to exaggerated symptoms in the future, so they end up hurting you in the long run.
You just won't feel the same knowing there's a pill that will make everything better. When not taking it, you will always feel low and shitty, even though you don't feel different than you felt before. You just had a taste of a good anxiety free stress and worry free life, but now you have to go back to your own problems. And you will feel ten times worse.
So it's really easy to take it every day, and before you know it, you're taking it for a month straight, and you can't stop yourself anymore, even if you do, you will just want to wither up and die.
>tfw autistic and social anxiety
even at meetings/therapy groups for other autist i stand out as the weirdo.
>>24740243
Phenibut senpai
>>24742288
Anxiety and depression are all meme illnesses
The mind can't be ill.
keep exposing yourself to social situations, just take it easy, do one small thing that scares you and work your way up to the harder stuff
also see if you can get on any meds, zoloft helped me a lil
>>24740348
This is good advice. I have moderate to possibly severe social anxiety and this stuff has made a big difference.
Need to recognize sources of anxiety and talk yourself through it as it approaches. So for me, it's meetings at work, phone calls, and family gatherings. I recognize when I'm anxious which thing is causing me anxiety, give myself rational talks ("I'm anxious because I think there's going to be a conflict, but it's unlikely; if it does happen I'll [blahblah] to resolve it quickly.")
The progressive muscle relaxation helps. Also try exercising, you get a lot of positive energy from it and it's a boost to your self-esteem.
>>24740397
That doesn't even make any sense. Those things involve CLEARING your mind, not cluttering it with emotion.
Friendly reminder: If you're a true robot, therapy is useless.
>>24746096
>Those things involve CLEARING your mind, not cluttering it with emotion.
>literally focusing on your breathing/relaxation/whatever instead of the matter at hand
>clearing the mind
Please read your posts before posting.
>>24740243
Honestly LARPing is a good way to deal with it and dip your toes into the pool of society again.
I find that playing online games with a microphone also helps.
If all else fails, drugs. I wouldn't recommend weed though.
>>24746298
That is clearing the mind, anon.
That's why professional fighters are always reminded by their coach to focus on their breathing.
>>24746420
>That is clearing the mind, anon.
Aha. Cluttering the mind is clearing the mind. What novel does this remind me of again?
>That's why professional fighters are always reminded by their coach to focus on their breathing.
Except the preconditions required to beat the shit out of somebody and the conditions to handle, for instance, a presentation or an interview smoothly are different. Breathing deeply might put you on a crude, joke-cracking, laughing 'whatever' auto-pilot, but that's not the way to go. To remain fully conscious, you must remain anxious, and just train yourself to say what should be said nonetheless. Note, I've never been anxious, but that's what I've been doing. Instead of just 'relaxing' and 'letting go' and 'stopping caring' and other Buddhist sophistry such as you're recommending, I chose the harder path of, in spite of my hesitation, consciously and clearly, albeit very quietly at first, saying whatever I want, for instance 'I think this is a bad idea'. And it doesn't matter that I'm not going to be heard or heeded at first. Because at least I don't throw the baby out of bathwater. I haven't become an instinct-driven normie who just stops caring at all how he is perceived and says the first thing he thinks of. The point is to still be as concerned as always, but having control nonetheless. This is something that Buddhists like you will never recommend.
>>24740269
like TM and shit? was lynch right all along?
>>24742288
>anxiety is a medical condition
Sounds like you actually have mental retardation, which is a medical condition.You should get that checked out.
>>24746567
How is focusing on one simple, naturally occurring act supposed to be "cluttering the mind"? That's the complete opposite. Clutter is too many things.
Explain that in a sentence because I'm not touching your retarded wall of text.
I swear you were molested by a Buddhist monk when you were little.
>>24740243
>Eat the hot dogs Brian
>Get it? Hot dogs
>Ha Ha Ha
>>24740243
Not everyone is the same, but some, including myself, need to exercise to be able to relax in certain environments. I feel depressed on my own and anxious with people if I don't do exercise.
Again, some people don't benefit, but it's worth a try. Me personally, I need exercise to feel good. Start with jogging early in the morning if you don't want to see people, or buy a set of dumbels for at home.
If exercise doesn't work, you should read self held books, the type that don't have a picture of the author on the front are usually better. Not all self help is bullshit. I read one called maximum influence, it really put into perspective how people think, it does go into a lot of detail about sales, but I'm much more perceptive of conversation, which makes it easier to engage in.
Failing that, just bee yourself m80!
>>24740243
I had it real bad a few years ago but now I could pass off as normal. You won't like this advice but exposure is the only way. I'm at uni so I had to be in situations I didn't like and force myself to socialise. It's horrible but it's good practice, we usually feel social anxiety because being social feels alien to us because we haven't had enough practice.
>>24746567
I have determined from your posts that you are an insufferable faggot.
>>24746709
>How is focusing on one simple, naturally occurring act supposed to be "cluttering the mind"?
How is going from perception of other people, their behaviour, their words, implications of that behaviour and words, with which anxiety co-occurs and which it causes, to blinding yourself with a single sensation, not 'cluttering the mind'?
>Explain that in a sentence because I'm not touching your retarded wall of text.
I write as concisely as possible.
Nothing magically gets rid of it OP, just deal with it in whatever way you want, whether that be drugs/drink or killing yourself
Also.
>>24746709
>Clutter is too many things.
This is as hilarious as ever. No matter how few things one has in mind, Buddhists will always insist that it is still too much.
>>24746833
>I write as concisely as possible
>spells behavior with a pointless extra letter
lmbo family member smdh
>>24746863
I snorted.
>>24746863
(Also, sadly I couldn't cut off one character from 'co-occur' by removing the hyphen and spelling the second 'o' with a dieresis, because ASCII only.)
>>24746833
>How is going from perception of other people, their behaviour, their words, implications of that behaviour and words, with which anxiety co-occurs and which it causes, to blinding yourself with a single sensation, not 'cluttering the mind'?
Because that's literally not what cluttering the mind is. You're asking me why a horse isn't an orange.
>>24746859
Why are you bringing up Buddhists?
Don't overcome it, accept it & move on to other problems
>>24746911
>have a shelf filled with stuff
>useful stuff, clothes, instruments, books
>it is somewhat messy, but you basically know where's what, it just takes some mental discipline to find things
>suddenly, decide to throw it all away
>fill it to capacity with foam rubber
>claim that it's better, because it's easier to manage now and you waste no time finding stuff
Literally your argument. Focusing on bodily sensations cuts you off from awareness of your environment.
>>24746988
>inb4 it's temporary
First, it isn't, the impairment is permanent. And even if it weren't, it is obviously better to have full self-control in social situations.
>>24746988
well that's a shit analogy because by focusing on one's breathing you're not killing brain cells and forgetting math or how to read music.
>Focusing on bodily sensations cuts you off from awareness of your environment.
awareness is a state of mind, if you're too nervous then you're not truly aware because you're over-thinking. Focus on your breathing and you'll slow it down, bringing your heart rate down, literally making you less anxious and more relaxed.
It doesn't get any simpler than that.
>>24747100
>by focusing on one's breathing you're not killing brain cells and forgetting math or how to read music
Partly, I do, because every time I choose to self-obsess instead of thinking about the environment, I become more likely to do that again: it is pleasant (otherwise why would people 'meditate'?)...
>if you're too nervous then you're not truly aware because you're over-thinking. Focus on your breathing and you'll slow it down, bringing your heart rate down, literally making you less anxious and more relaxed
...but what I mean is, as I already have explained, it is the narrow-minded, short-term 'solution'. It makes you marginally more efficient. Instead of being anxious, you become an animal that reacts without thinking to whatever whoever says. The real solution is, again, the hard way, namely, detaching yourself completely from your feelings and, for instance, addressing interview questions one by one, literally, consciously remembering and formulating the answers, at first withdrawing from the situation for a dozen of seconds, then, as your thinking gets better, for a couple of seconds, eventually doing it instantaneously. This, this process, is how it used to be just a couple of decades ago, before introduction and adoption of 'mindfulness' 'meditation' has led to debacles like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmO-ziHU_D8 .
>>24747351
>wall of text again
whew lad
http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/relaxation-techniques-breath-control-helps-quell-errant-stress-response
>in b4 Harvard is a Buddhist propaganda breeding ground or whatever crazy nonsense you think about all day
>>24747413
Like every Buddhist, you're just throwing random links at me, thinking they're relevant. I have explained twice the fallacy in your cherished 'it makes you relaxed'. I have no intention to do it again -- or even, (not really) for a change, to explain things such as the reasons behind the intentional ambiguity of 'focus' in whatever studies that article might've been based on.
But yes, I didn't think a university would mar its name as badly as to sign picture related.
>>24747530
But then, we really are living in a time of spiritualization of science.
>>24747530
>Buddhists in the trees!
>Buddhists in the bushes!
>Buddhists in the drinking water!
you're just great, guy. best of luck on your jihad
>>24747571
Hey, different mental illnesses for different kinds of Buddhists.
Tulpa practice induces paranoid schizophrenia of hearing voices.
'Meditation' induces catatonic schizophrenia of having loops upon loops of self-referential thoughts.
Choose your poison. It is going to be my responsibility to resist your attempts to push it down my throat anyway.
>>24747623
>Tulpa
>Meditation
Neither of those things are what you described, you should take a day off and rethink your purpose in life. You're ranting about Buddhists in threads that have nothing to do with them.
>>24747657
>Neither of those things are what you described
Yes. 'Meditation' is 'about awareness'. Both 'about' and 'awareness' are well-defined terms which cover comprehensively the consequences thereof on behaviour. Science said so!
>>24747697
>>24747657
Seriously, though, what would you say?
'Meditation is about awareness'?
'Meditation allows to behold better'?
'Medication causes consciousness'?
'Meditation develops discrimination'?
'Meditation elicits elucidation'?
>>24747757
>'Meditation elicits elucidation'?
(How did I not think about 'effects enlightenment'...)
>>24747697
>Both 'about' and 'awareness' are well-defined terms which cover comprehensively the consequences thereof on behaviour.
Is English your 5th language?
>>24747757
>>24747816
...
'Meditation fuels focus'?
'Meditation helps glean gestalten'?
>>24747833
Second and last.
>>24747873
'Metitation will help hark'?
'Meditation incites introspection'?
'Meditation just makes judicious'?
'Meditation is the kernel of ken'?
'Meditation leads to learning'?
'Meditation is mastering the mind'?
(Sage, sage, don't worry.)
>>24747959
Well, I got stuck on 'o'. Anyway, I wouldn't very like it if that list ended up being unironically used by Buddhists, although the (actual) irony of that would be hardly unprecedented.
