Does anybody else have trouble holding simple conversations? I want to talk to people, but replies just don't come naturally to me
>>24721950
I do. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to talk to people about other than hi how are you.
>>24721950
Yes
I have a shit taste in music, I don't want tv, sports bore me, I only play csgo and otherwise get bored of video games, i'm not smart, and i'm not attractive
there's just nothing to there to work with
>>24721950
It's just a constant series of "yeahs" and head nods while trying to think of something to say
>>24722032
>I have a shit taste in music
If you know this, you can at least suggest to people what you think is good in comparison. That's what I do.
They're so interested in their opinions on what some coach should have done with some player, or how much fun it is to daydrink and bitch at your husband, or how much they want to have sex with people who are much sexier than them, be they models or firefighters. People are fucking boring, and they will project that onto you if you appear as disinterested as you are.
When they ask you something, the format of a reply should be
>answer question
>give short piece of information thats related
>(optional) ask question related to the topic at hand
Simple example:
hey anon, are you coming to school tomorrow?
yeah, Ive got to hand in a chemistry assignment. Have you done that one yet?
If it feels like you're talking a lot about nothing, you're doing it right.
t. Normologist
Used to be a lot like that, then I nailed it.
Just ask questions. It makes conversations easy. Without noticing, you end up talking normally. Just ask questions until that happens.
>>24721950
yeah, this is probably the biggest reason why i can't laid or make friends
>HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MEET NEW PEOPLE WHEN I CAN'T MAKE SMALL TALK
>>24721950
All the fucking time.
>coworker says hi how was your weekend
>I reply it was ok
>30 mins later realise I should have asked how was his weekend
or when cute cashiers banter with you and you give one word replies because you can't think of anything witty on the spot
kill me
I have some advice, just what I've learned in this area.
You want to make sure the conversation doesn't linger on you for too long. When someone asks you a question, answer it, but then ASK THEM THE QUESTION BACK (took me forever to figure out).
Good:
>What have you been reading lately?
>-Nothing. What about you?
>Oh I've been reading blahblahblah
Bad:
>What have you been reading?
>-Nothing.
>[both stand there in silence]
You can also ask them a slightly different question if you want to move to a topic you think it might be easier to talk about.
So after you answer what you've been reading, you could just say "So what have you been up to?". More vague, and still fits the "person expresses interest in you-then you express interest in them" exchange.
If you don't have anything to add to a topic, try to keep asking them questions, or make comments on what they're saying ("That's good/cool/sad/etc.")
>>24721950
Yes. I always try to ask shit about something the other person just mentioned, but that's pretty much the extent of what I can do. Once they just respond with "yes" or "no", I'm fucked and it gets awkward.
Also, most of the time I have trouble even paying attention to what they say because I'm so focused on not looking socially retarded and keep thinking, "don't look weird, don't look weird."
>>24722095
What is with this t. thing?
>>24722139
Ugh i hate that. I feel like im playing 20 questions and they never throw any questions back at me.
Feelsbadman
>>24722201
In finnish they say t.[name here] at the end of a letter instead of regards. Its a dank krautchan meme
>>24722139
This is what I try to do especially when talking to girls but then I have to think about what questions I could ask and whether or not they won't bore the shit out of her
Also remember that the purpose of small talk is not to exchange information. If someone asks you how your day is, it's not just because they want to know. It's a way of saying "I am interested in you and want to talk to you."
That's why all these conversations seem totally pointless on the surface.
>>24722191
this almost exactly
>>24722212
This. I always feel like I'm interviewing the other person rather than having an actual conversation. I guess I'm just too boring of a guy for them to ask anything themselves.
>>24722267
It's exactly lethal.
I only like weird shit and half the time not even I know what the fuck I'm saying
>>24722252
I almost had this problem, I was blank as fuck so in panic I just asked a girl
>"so, how have you been?"
It was one of my best conversations with her. I'm still a huge robot so it didn't fix anything, but still. When you don't know what to ask, asking shit like
>what did you do yesterday
or
>what did you have for lunch
can stall the conversation longer until you get something going.
>>24722212
When that happens I try to make the other person say something personal or show some weakness. It becomes much easier to talk to someone once you know something bad about them or something personal.
I always thought I was introverted, but I actually love partying and talking to people. The problem is that nobody likes me.
>>24721950
the only thing I can actually keep a conversation about is video games, everything else I'm just like okay....
>>24721950
Nope. Don't understand why it's so difficult for you all. I know autist who figured it out.
>>24722095
>>24722139
>>24722178
>>24722259
>>24722439
IT'S SO FUCKING SIMPLE HOLY SHIT
>>24722873
>dude just b urself lmao
It doesn't come naturally to everyone which is why we need strategies
>>24722259
Why would I ask questions when I don't want to know what the answer is?
>>24721950
I'm either super short replies and no questions or long winded about my interests.
>>24723680
There is a purpose in communication. When you wanna talk to someone, you want to do it for a reason. It can be to have an interesting conversation and also to make a friend or get a gf. If you just want a meaningful conversation there's no need to small talk, however if you're interested in the person you'll have more success by making small talk and asking about trivial shit over saying "hey wanna be my friend/girlfriend" or just not talking
>>24721950
>not hmm'ing your way out of conversation
let me show you how it is done:
>hello how are you
>hmm
>oh I am fine I guess, how was your weekend
>hmm
>that sounds a lot fun
>hmm
>well I did blah blah blah blah
>hmm's internally
>>24724023
lololollollooll
>>24721950
Yes. When someone is talking and they say something that doesn't immediately make sense (usually because I heard it wrong) I get stuck on that part and can't keep up with the conversation. This happens once every few sentences. I think I'm basically retarded.
>>24724111
Same here
Also suck at saying sentences out loud
Practice I guess; I've somehow been getting better, even though I have about 2 to 3 conversations with people outside my family a week.
I've got a cool tip here. I learnt this from trying to imitate movie actors.
When you're talking to a girl, when it's your turn to speak, don't start immediately after she stops talking. Stare deep into her eyes a second or two first.
It works because it gives you a second of intense visual contact, it gives you a pause to prepare for what you're about to say so you sound cooler (this happens unconsciously) and also because, if you're doing things right, she might go back to talking before you speak. If you're a sperg it's a great trick because you can keep the conversation having to talk less.
Also it helps if you have trouble making eye contact while you speak, but you should always try to keep that.
>>24724000
>There is a purpose in communication
The only purpose I can possibly think of is to exchange information of some sort. If I'm asking a question, it's about information I want. What would be the purpose of asking a question about information I don't care about or don't want?
I can't motivate myself to talk about something useless.
>>24722012
This
I try to get a conversation going but it all just feels completly forced. Plus I cannot hold eye contact to save my fucking life
>>24721950
Is it too much pressure? a confidence thing? Just be natural and the replies will come pretend you're talking to someone you know well and act like they already want to talk to you don't be insecure sometimes some people don't know how to respond either
Really I have no problem holding conversation with others it's just it doesn't make sense for me to initiate it. I don't want friends, I want sex and women don't want sex with me regardless of what I say or do.
>>24722056
That's also what I do, it's just repeating the same phrases over and over again. It's the same with texting people, one worded responses
>>24722873
Please fucking share then. Explain.
>spic
>moved to usa basically so parents could force to go to school
>quiet and awkward
>have a horrible stutter
>mfw i have a persuasive essay presentation tomorrow and i havent even started
>>24722056
^^^
This is so fucking me it hurts.
My conversational dialouge includes just the follow words.
>"Yeah."
>"Nice/Cool"
>"Really?"
>"Alright."
I'm a fucking autist.
bumpiii
>>24724247
Jokes on you I cry if I see people's eyes
>>24724531
When I'm myself they realize how inept I am and don't know how to respond. It never ends.
>>24721950
>What?
>I don't know.
>Uh...
>Yeah!
>Hi.
Someone end my pain already for Christ sake.
>>24724290
Then I guess you don't want to have a social life at all, man.
>>24726847
You have to understand that theres a begining to everything you gotta start somewhere you can alwaysimprove yourself failure is experience fall down and get back up
