So, pretty cut and dry, I'm going to kill myself. I decided months ago that I'd use formic and sulfuric acid to produce carbon monoxide and just slowly fade away. I have them in an online cart right now, hovering over the SUBMIT button.
I guess, I don't know, I wanted to talk a little before I committed to it. I'm not looking for attention, not looking to be talked down or talked up. I don't really want to talk about myself, I just want to talk.
What do you guys think happens after death? Definitely not a Heaven or Hell in the Christian sense. But I'm afraid to accept that it may just be nothing. I want to believe that there's some higher or parallel plane of reality that awaits when we die... Is that reasonable or delusional?
Do you have any friends or family that killed themselves? Is there anything you wish they said before they did it? I might be a selfish prick, but I don't want to fuck up other people's lives on my way out.
>TL;DR- faggot going to commit sudoku, how's it going?
>Do you have any friends or family that killed themselves? Is there anything you wish they said before they did it? I might be a selfish prick, but I don't want to fuck up other people's lives on my way out.
They will get over it. Don't let your family stop you.
>>24709083
Just do it
Who cares what comes after death if your life is shit right now? It could end up being that part of when you're asleep but can't remember it afterwards, just blank nothing forever. You won't know the difference
I tried to off myself a few years ago. There isn't really anything you can say to make it any better. You'll have killed yourself and they'll wonder why you did it and probably blame themselves for it
>>24709107
They're not, I just want to make it as easy on them as possible. But I also can't really gauge how much of an impact I have on the 20 or so people I care about. I don't know if it would be nice to write each of them an individual letter, or just presumptuous.
>>24709083
What happens after death?
Nothing. Your consciousness will die with your brain. You know it and I know it. Everything else is just a security blanket.
I'm more spiritual than most, and I even know it.
>Do you have any friends or family that killed themselves?
Yes. I have.
I still think about them everyday, a decade later, Something I would've never thought possible.
Do I wish they said anything?
well yeah, I wish they'd say alot of things, actually.
>>24709083
>I don't want to fuck up other people's lives on my way out.
Then don't commit suicide you fucking asshole, that's all that happens. Dying is super shitty to your loved ones, even worse if you kill yourself because they will all spend the rest of their loves wondering what they could have done to save you. It's the ultimate, shitty, most selfish act a human can even do.
>>24709107
>>24709138
>>>>>>>>>>www.edgelord.com/I_am_really_fucking_hilarious.html
Nothing comes after death, you idiot. Your brain rots and the matter will be recycled for cockroach food.
You're literally cutting of all possible futures. Kind of a dumb move, considering how rare self-consciousness is in the universe.
But I guess it's your choice.
You're going to burn in hell for all eternity.
>>24709083
Maybe you should try to take some normies with you.
>>24709182
Aye, I know I'm selfish in this. But I've landed here, and I just want to make it as smooth as I can for the people who don't deserve to be hurt by my selfishness.
>>24709230
Nah.
>>24709229
Nah
>>24709083
>carbon monoxide
This might hurt at first opie. The good thing is you'll be out cold after two breaths. Remember to get close to the floor, that stuff is heavier than air.
>what comes after death?
Gee, I dunno faggot, what came before your life? What, you don't remember? Well guess what, it's gonna be the exact same. There's no reason to be afraid of death. Your "self" as you perceive it won't be around to feel the aftermath. There will be nothing, literally. You won't experience the nothing because the reactions in your head that enabled you to experience shit won't fire anymore. That's all that killing yourself is, you're shutting yourself off permanently. Like a PC without energy, kinda.
If you think ceasing to exist is better than your existence could ever be, mash that submit button. You're ridding the world of a person who stopped desiring the world for itself and give the ones left behind a better chance to overcome their humanity in your stead. In a way you're doing humanity a final, collective favor.
On the other hand, if you have any drive left whatsoever, you should harness it. But I'm not the one to convince you of anything and I won't try. So have a last few happy hours with other anons I guess.
>>24709083
>Definitely not a Heaven or Hell in the Christian sense.
>Definitely
Kek.
If you don't have any idea, any answer, you don't really should kill yourself dear senpai.
Thats pretty important thing in the whole killing buisness.
Read some books, at least.
>>24709083
You'll miss out on good anime and video games. You can't really not hurt people that know you when you kill yourself, err, die. Just dying will fuck people up.
But it should be fine cause you won't be here to see them suffer. I think about it a lot too. Just make sure you're sure about it and not wasting money.
I can't see there being a benevolent God. WHY are some people born with 180 IQs and some people are mentally retarded? Same with people who are hideous and people who are models. Do you really think God designed failures like us in his image? No. It is a tool to give comfort to the dregs of society who have no power in this world, to give them hope for a better afterlife, while they become insignificant cogs in the machine and amount to ultimately nothing.
>>24709083
That's so sad, senpai. It's sadder because I know that I want to do the same, but don't have the guts to do so. I hope you finally find your peace.
>>24709286
>This might hurt at first opie.
There will be no pain. CO is a very sneaky fuck. If low concentration, may be a slight headache and disorientation, but it is lights out pretty quick.
T. process engineer. Had friends die due to CO and sour gas.
>>24709182
>It's the ultimate, shitty, most selfish act a human can even do
You, you're always around, like sympathy for the devil level presence.
There's always a guy...
How about skipping the country to die and leave them wondering with their thumbs up their noses?
Background:
>20 year old gay faggot, caught HIV two years ago right after I became sexually active.
>Used to think I'd rather be poor but happy, but that's not an option if I want to afford antiretrovirals and not get AIDS.
>Never been particularly attractive. Whatever looks I had are fading even faster now.
>Antisocial, haven't made a friend in years, pushing away my old friends.
>Going to a decent school that's way too expensive. Can't muster up the motivation to put in the work needed to make it worth the price.
>No hobbies other than vidya and flipping shit on ebay.
>Been on antidepressants and in therapy for years without results.
And I know all of this is my own fault. I'm not complaining, just throwing out more fodder.
>>24709438
It's so unfair that some of us must endure shit like that while others have good lifes. I just can't stop thinking "why me?"
>>24709438
Try to wait a bit more for the cure Anon.
>>24709455
?
I know that I still have it better than most people, especially if we're talking about quality of life on a global scale. Even so, I can't find meaning to propel me forward. I'm certain that if I had been born into a less privileged life with the same shitty constitution I have, I would have been dead years ago.
OP where did you get your acids? I was actually thinking of going out exactly like that.
>>24709455
You can still live normallish with HIV especially being a fag
>>24709529
The problem is our inside, senpai. My material life is better than most people around me too, but I can't find a place for me in the world. It's like I'm a piece that doesn't fit. I live with this constant pain inside of me, nothing gives me pleasure anymore.
What is the point in carry on? I don't see any.
>>24709538
http://www.dudadiesel.com/
>>24709541
Knowing that is how I've been staying afloat for the last two years, but I guess what I'm realizing is that I'm too weak to deal with something as small as a stigma and financial obligation.
>>24709182
I owe my fucking parents nothing. Nothing. They forced me into this world, were disappointed when I didn't turn out to be the Chad they so desired, and so I will end this nightmare whether it further disappoints them or not. My only option is suicide or lifelong disappointment to my family and everyone I know and suffering.
If only they hadn't fucked that one night. If only, and then they wouldn't have to feel the pain I will inflict on them by my suicide.
>>24709083
here u go
part1
If we take our own life, we invoke the workings of the law of karma in a number of ways.
As i understand it, the first consequence of suicide is that we find ourselves in a semi conscious condition on the other side for a length of time. Some people feel that length of time represents the time between the unnatural and the natural death, but the question has by no means been settled among spiritual scientists.
This condition has been described as a gray, hazy state. Another spirit communicator described it as a fog of apathy. The ones so affected are usually unable to hear or see spirits who attend to them and generally watch over them, or, if they do hear or see them, they may be unable to respond.
A second consequence for some is that we must make an abrupt return trip to Earth to pick up where we left off. Mike Swain describes it this way. Notice that he says here that the suicide is placed in a state of rest. That may be the outcome for some. As indicated earlier, each situation may be different.
When someone of the earth plane feels so restricted, so cramped, so frightened, that he sees no solution to it when, in fact, he can no longer face up to the day to day burdens that confront everyone else in your world he thinks that committing suicide will be an easy way out and will punish his tormentors at the same time.
When his soul comes here, it is immediately placed in a state of rest until the jangling dislocations of the suicide have subsided. Then he is immediately sent back to earth to inhabit a new body. Once again he finds himself a mortal man, but he retains no recollection of his previous history.
>>24709407
That's actually a really great option for everyone. I get to see one last new place before I go, and everyone else assumes that I've just dropped contact.
>>24709619
don't take your beliefs as the universal truth
>>24709619
and last, part 2
What is more, in this second life of his, he is going to be confronted by exactly the same problems. If he fails a second time, the same process will occur and continue to occur until he learns to face his problems rather than escape them.
So if you want a frustrating round trip ticket up to our world and right back down to yours again, Dad, commit suicide! It will get you nowhere fast!
A third consequence is that, in the case of souls who remain on the astral planes, we may be required live for a period of time on a plane of lesser station than we would otherwise merit until we understand that suicide is generally not an acceptable act. The natural law brings to our remembrance our act and we are obliged to reflect on it. Release from the lower planes usually comes when we have assimilated our lessons from the experience.
A fourth consequence may be that, when we are reborn into a life in which the conditions of existence are agreeable, we may find ourselves cut off or cut down at a time when we might ordinarily relish living. Thus, a person might find themselves happily married, wealthy, challenged, etc. and yet die of a heart attack in the prime of life. I imagine that the keen disappointment we may feel might serve as an antidote, existing deep within the subconscious, when next we consider suicide.
These four consequences comprise what the unnamed teacher speaking through medium Betty Bethards called a hell of their own making in order to become aware that this is not what they are striving for. It teaches the soul that it does not have the right to take its own life, that it cannot kill. I know this sounds a bit harsh but suicide is generally frowned on.
>>24709083
>I want to believe that there's some higher or parallel plane of reality that awaits when we die... Is that reasonable or delusional?
Is there a higher plane of existence for beetles and worms too? If you don't believe God gave us eternat spirit or some shit, there is no reason to believe life beyond death.
>>24709633
Make sure you discard any identification somewhere before you an hero. Just thinking about it makes me warm.
Like the climax of some spy movie, imagine flying to Germany all packed and travel ready overnight without telling anyone, arriving. And tossing your ID and passport in a fucking lake and going somewhere to be killed.
Like casino royale or some shit.
All this is more than plausible, i've done much of my homework. it's a a plan executable with no less than $850 but i'm dead broke with no job experience and no energy to work.
So i'll wait. Unless something better comes up.
>>24709438
You deserve it you disgusting faggot
>>24709182
>most selfish thing you can do meme :^)
No, it's not, you're just fucking retarded. If you aren't sustaining anyone, like a kid that would be fucked financially without you, the most selfish thing in this case is literally the fact that your stupid friends/family can't accept the fact that it was your decision to kill yourself, that it was what you wanted and you did it because you thought it was for your best.
Seriously kill yourself and take your stupid muh edgness meme with you, calling someone selfish for not wanting to spend more time with you in this world is pure irony.
>>24709665
>>24709619
Delusions: the post
>>24709900
wish u were right but ignoring the reality will not change them. there are literally billions of documents about these topics, about karma, incarnation and the purpose of life. the real delusion would be just ignoring things without even makin an actual research about them
http://www.healpastlives.com/future/rule/runights.htm
http://www.ananda.org/ask/spiritual-consequences-of-suicide/
http://goldenageofgaia.com/2011/04/28/the-destiny-of-a-suicide/
>I have them in an online cart right now, hovering over the SUBMIT button.
topkek, OP
But if you're serious, do what you think is right. Don't worry about the memerific o-holy-void that all the nihilist neckbeards spout.
You're going to die & be reborn, but if you choose to kill yourself then you didn't blossom in this life as you were supposed to. You'll be reborn lower on the food chain.
When you eventually get to be a human again, I hope you'll be more committed to finding truth than drama that time around. So long
>>24709083
I assume that after death there is the same kind of nothingness that was before birth. It seems intuitive to me.
I do wish your consciousness would survive dying, but knowing what physically makes people, I can't imagine how it would happen.
I wish i could just fucking kill myself. I started smoking cigarettes to become popular which worked but now my chest hurts all the time and my lungs are probably jet black
I can't believe i was dumb enough to do this shit for 3 years i used to be an intelligent kid who never smoked or drank. Now my life is worth next to nothing because i destroyed it myself
God i just want to be dead already and never be born again
>>24709284
You can always make it seem like an accident. Tragic accidents happen all the time. Seems less selfish way to go.
>>24709182
>super shitty
>ultimate shitty
Either reddit or a female.
>>24709083
But I'll miss you. Can you at least be my friend until you go?
>>24710336
>cigarettes for 3 years
>life is worth next to nothing
well memed
>>24710441
you don't know how much pain i have and it's been only like that for a week now after i got sick and kept smoking
>>24709726
This is true. We're basically just worms with egos.
>>24710441
Buy a good e cig. Yeah you look like a faggot but it's cheaper and you don't feel like shit all the time.
