Listen to me very very carefully. I have lost all drive, motivation, direction, or ambition. I wake up and fall asleep in a miasmatic haze of drugs. I am in a constant cycle of caffeine, alcohol, and THC, self-medicating and self-intoxicating in a vain attempt to make the pain go away. I browse 4chan and reddit and facebook and wikipedia and news sites and little blogs and other fora looking, seeking, hoping, begging for something, something valuable, something real, something to give me the vaguest, foggiest notion of what to do or where to go. I make and share and consume meme after meme, new memes, old memes, forced memes, dead memes, anything at all to fill in the space. To disguise the nothingness of what goes on. But there is nothing, no catharsis nor panacea for this sickness, this utter paralytic disease of the mind. My *soul itself* is rotten and decaying, and I do not longer wish it convalescence. It is undeserving. Today I woke sober for the first time in three months, and I've finally found the truth. That there is no reason, no ultimate knowledge, no final, unifying salubrious idea that will finally bring me peace. I have accepted my death and I pray to any God that might listen to pity me and understand that although I have failed I have tried.
>>24705531
science will bring back the dead and make us immortal, it will take a lot of hard work and there will be much suffering before this, but it will happen
>>24705586
Oh my God. You're right. It is the final End of all conscious action. The immortalization of suffering. There has been and there will have been much suffering before this terminal catastrophe, but there exists no mind now nor until then that can comprehend the magnitude of the permanent, immortal, eternal suffering that will be all that is afterwards. I die knowing that even in death I cannot escape my pain. I hate you and curse you, prophet of evil. May the remainder of your existence be as terrible as your words.
samerobot filter
>>24705531
I'm from >>>/s4s/3966890
I went through a period a few years ago where I had very severe anxiety and was failing out of college and basically withdrew myself from all outside contact for about a year. I turned to pot as well, which helped make sitting alone in my bedroom browsing 4chan and reddit for hours on end somehow not boring. I then got myself addicted to my dad's pain pills, which was hell because I don't even like opiates. This went on until one day, an old friend I literally ignored for years texts me and just wants to chat. I start feeling guilty as hell and contemplated telling him everything, while also wishing I was dead, much like you. It really woke me up.
You got to reintroduce yourself to the outside world. Its hard. My parents were supportive and let me take time off from university to get better. I still browse the internet regularly, and even toke once in a while, but what I took out is there are actual, real people out there, and the reality you see on the internet is deliberately false and poisons you. So to beat this I found something real to be passionate about. A hobby other than browsing the internet for 12 hours a day.
Dank Memes isn't a life, its a sarcastic, post-ironic, meta joke that most people on [s4s] are in on. Your life has value in what you can do to transform yourself. Please explore your possibilities. Don't die OP.
Try and stay sober for a while, man.
You might change your tune once your brain gets a rest from the drugs.
