T-there arent any criminals on this board, r-right?
I once stole a rare pepe.
>>24681693
we're all criminals.
Latent ones, anyway. Once they start passing hardcore laws to promote people to assimilate into society properly.
I once raped your mom, that's how you were born OP :^)
>>24681693
There probably is. I have seen many pedo faggots here on this whole website.
>>24682916
blah blah blah psycho pass reference
>>24682636
That is the worst crime in the book!
Pepes not for stealing!
>>24683013
Holy shit, shame I don't watch anime.
Judge dredd meets minority report. Thanks but no thanks for the referral.
>>24681693
>tfw no matter what you do it isnt worth anything if no one knows about it or you cant tell anyone
>can only imply in a cambodian fishing forum
Define criminals
I shot a man about 6 years ago. Got 4 years for manslaughter. Basically the bare minimum because there were mitigating circumstances and they were pretty sure I wouldn't do it again.
I sold heroin for about a year. Moved to a new state after some guys went crazy where I lived.
>>24683380
tell the story pls
>>24683449
>six years ago
>22
>engaged to a girl
>lived in a big city at the time
>she's raped, beaten, and left to die on the streets
>one of the cops I'd been talking to about her let it slip to me that they knew who did it and were holding off for some formality
>I went to his apartment and shot him
>strings were pulled and I got a deal for manslaughter instead of murder because I was grieving and had never been in trouble and he was a scumbag and really the whole thing seemed pretty shady
>sentenced to 4 years, the minimum sentence for manslaughter involving a gun
>got out early for good behavior
>came right back to 4chan
>>24683532
>made yourself sound like a former normie
>then said came right back to 4chan
I call fake
>>24683554
I was in a serious relationship, but she was the only person who was ever nice to me. Never had friends, never had another lover. I didn't want to get off easy, honestly. My life was over the moment she died. Figured I'd just die in there.
>>24683532
what happened to your grill?
I assume she left because all women are cunts
>>24683611
Like I said, she was left to die.
>>24683532
jesus christ that's rough
I smokes two marijuanas yesterday. I cycled on the pavement and through a red light at a crossroads. I also downloaded a film. Its tough being a hardened criminal some days but fuck the police!
>>24683532
lel i bet Drive is your favorite movie too
>>24683582
Sorry man. I hope you find someone again. Let me guess, a nigger did it.
>>24683641
I doubt I will. Basically resigned to waiting for death now. No friends, she's gone, I'm officially a Bad Person, and most of my family won't talk to me.
>>24683619
shit
I'm sorry. I'm sure she was good womanI assumed it was something like in the movies when they say they were left to die but somehow survived
>>24683658
No, if she survived I would have been at her bedside.
>>24683654
>disowned for killing a murderer & rapist that did both to your future wife
Your family is a bunch of pussified cunts
>>24683641
/pol/ just can't help themselves even when someone is sharing a horrible story
>>24683697
My family is mostly women. My mom disowned me because it's the cardinal sin or whatever. My sister's afraid I'll kill her kids or something. Dad's on mom's side because he has to live with her. Brother still likes me, because he always idolized me. He put in a good word for me at his old job so I can actually support myself.
>>24683718
>mostly women
That explains it
But if your bro likes you hang out with him more. Just try. Life is full of unlimited chances.
>>24683737
We hang out when our schedules match up. It's not very often anymore, though. We both took time off in February for the new Fire Emblem, though. I managed to preorder our special editions a couple weeks back. Always loved those games. She did, too.
>>24683754
Sorry man. Just make sure to stay close to your brother. Maybe someday you will find a be girl, I bet you, don't give up, you still can do this.
Also try reminding your mom that Jesus and God forgives any sin.
>>24683798
>Find a new girl not find a be girl
Sorry this autocorrect sucks
>>24683718
They sound retarded and your dad has no backbone, guess they would rather you just get c ucked by the "justice" system.
>>24683798
I just don't really care enough. My cousin invited me to her Christmas dinner this year anyway so I'm blowing my parents off to go hang out with her and her family. It's gonna be great, they like me.
>>24683813
That's good. Do what makes you happy but I strongly encourage you to not give up on love. It can happen again.
Spent 1.5 years years ago after i was caught running a botnet, one of the underground forums i was posting on was run by the feds.
Got caught "Infecting" 80 thousand computers.
>>24683532
holy shit
i'm sorry, anon
>>24683836
That was you? I'll have my revenge m8.
>>24683835
Thing is, nothing really makes me happy anymore. Mostly numb inside. A few moments of happiness here and there.
>>24683837
Thanks.
>>24683848
I think the cops already took their revenge on me especially with all the charges on my name like the fraudulent purchases.
Being in my 20's my record is not a good thing. I cant work around or near computers.
>>24683923
>commiting cyber crimes
Literally retarded, more likely to get away with rape.
Did 8 years for armed robbery. Still on probation.
>>24683995
how do you get caught doing something so simple
I have an unpaid parking ticket
75$ for parking there a bit too long (3 hours in a two hour zone) is way to expensive.
>>24681693
There have been multiple shooters and drug addiction board so what the fuck do you think you stupid piece of shit?
I pirate a lot of stuff. That's about it.
>>24684023
Cameras got the license plates, color and model. Cop cars are a lot faster than an old Honda civic.
>>24684058
>>24684058
>Cameras got the license plates,
You have to be the stupidest mother fucker, ever.
>>24684063
People that get caught usually are
>>24684063
Well I did park in a residential area 2 blocks from the store. Somone happened to have surveillance. I didnt park in front of the store ha. Just shit luck on my part. Had gotten away with it twice before. Pushed my luck too far. Fuck meth.
>>24684106
Why not just steal a car you stupid fuck or steal license plates?
years back (well past statue of limitations, hotpockets) i shoplifted 'professionally'
stole like 50k worth of shit (what i sold it for, no idea what the retail value was)
>>24684111
If you're doing something major, you don't want to stack multiple felonies on eachother. If I stole a car or plates I might likely still be in prison.
>>24684134
>caring about stacking on "more felonies"
you are a fraud and never robbed shit. you'd be made the bitch nigga in prison with your weak thinking.
>>24683532
>being THIS much of a kuck
toplel
>>24684144
>>24684144
I live in a very unpopulated mostly white state. Prison was very shitty, but nothing like the movies. Only witnessed 2 fights, both were over meals. Never heard of anyone getting raped, never felt like I was about to get my ass beat. It's not some bs where you have to "prove yourself". I minded my own business, everyone else minded theirs. And once again, you'd be an idiot to do a robbery in a stolen car. I don't think you realize how much more significant that wouldve maked the charges.
>>24684134
if you'd stolen a car or plates you wouldn't have been caught
>>24684214
>>24684214
Either way, what happened happened. Glad I wasn't caught in a stolen vehicle or with stolen plates.
Used to generate fake coupons that would give you free shit YEARS ago.
Xbox 360 right upon release was free because Walmart employees were too stupid to realize you can't save 300$+
>>24684231
18 years old and a meth addiction makes you do shitty stupid things for money
I've committed countless crimes, only online though.
>>24684209
>much more significant that wouldve maked the charges
literally none more.
Crime is punished based on how niggerish it is:
Theft < Robbery < Armed Robbery and so on
there's no additional manipulative punishment for grand theft auto (a comparatively minor crime next to armed robbery) + armed robbery. Punishment for armed robbery dwarfs auto theft, and stolen plates are barely even a crime
>>24684240
I remember the coupon threads on /b/. Ah, good times. I never used them because I figured "surely the companies have caught on by now." Cheated myself out of $1000's worth of free shit, probably.
>>24684283
Even if all this is true (I honestly don't know if it is or not) what good does it do to scold him now that all's said and done?
I almost got put in prison for fucking a 14-year old. Met her in a bar because she got in with a fake ID. I figured she looked young but you know she's in a bar so she must be legal. They decided to just warn me because it turns out "I met her in a bar" is a pretty solid legal defense.
Starting at age 8 and ending at age 19 I would steal almost every day just because it passed the time and was easy not because I had to or anything besides that just other petty shit like minor arson and stuff regular early teens shit.
>>24684320
For fun you pleb, where do you think you are? 4chan is shitposting
>>24681693
I killed my cousin and sunk his body in a lake when I was 11 after watching silence of the lambs and everybody assumed he was abducted by a pedophile
I stole some lego and some marbles once when I was a kid, from some other kid. These days I let my dog shit where he feels and I don't pick it up.
I'm also facing 7 years for public triggering and thought rape.
>>24684320
laughing at failures makes us feel better about ourselves :^)
>>24684375
how was it?i'm talking about her vagina
>>24684603
It was awesome. The only time I haven't had to pay for it, to be honest. She was tight and firm in all the right spots. Sometimes I come home after work and just jerk off to the memory.
>>24681693
DUMBASS
why do you think /pol/ recruits so hard? lmao. this is where shitty little white boys come to drink the klan's koolaid. the good recruits are the ones who know how to keep their mouths shut and find a local org to affiliate with. idiot tier: dylan roof or whatever the fuck his name was, total embarrassment.
>>24684662
I've literally never seen anyone shill the Klan here. The Klan is totally irrelevant.
>>24681693
I smoked the wacky tobacky once. Does that count?
>>24684690
Yes. I reported you to the FBI, you fucking criminal scum.
>>24684687
i don't think you know what "recruitment" means, faggot
dunno why i bother spoonfeeding any of you to be honest
>>24683014
haha lol can always count on /r9k/ to make me laugh! Post rare pepes (lol) and i promise I won't share with my bros on /r/4chan :P
I'd been sentenced for a D.U.I. offense. When I first came to prison, I had no idea what to expect. Certainly none of this. I'm a tall white male, who unfortunately has a small amount of feminine characteristics. And very shy. These characteristics have got me raped so many times I have no more feelings physically. I have been raped by up to 5 black men and two white men at a time. I've had knifes at my head and throat. I had fought and been beat so hard that I didn't ever think I'd see straight again.
I smoke weed and drive with only a learners
>>24684717
The Klan doesn't even fucking do anything. If /pol/tards want to join the Klan and circlejerk about how superior they are in a meeting somewhere, I don't really give a shit
Do you ever fantasize about being the bad guy, /r9k/?
hey nigs
whachu want I get some dope fire bomb ass shit nigga u be drippin yo face into the ozone get some of this shit nig. fuck
>>24684662
What is this, 1930? The klan doesn't even exist anymore you fucking retard. It's a meme. It ended. There's like 3000 members total now. Use google you stupid fuck.
>>24684453
I was kidding bout this guys, I've never seen silence of the lambs
I may have done something illegal at some point, but I'm pretty sure I got away with it.
>>24684776
no,but they fantasize being a misunderstood good guys
i shot a man in reno just to watch him die
>>24684880
Didn't your mama ever tell you never to play with guns?
I drank alcohol before I was 21. D-does that count? I'm not a degenerate, am I?
>>24684894
The Sambian tribe males of papua new guinea consume their own semen. they don't want to waste the energy the magic juice holds.
That's badass
