Tell me the most cringe-worthy thing you've ever said to a girl, that still haunts you to this day.
I do love you
>December 25th, 2015
>Can I hold you, one last time?
Bitch let me do it too, goddamnit.
>>24678343
>try to say that a girl's purse is nicely designed
>fail at grasping the words
>guy next to me notices and says something something he's complementing
I just wanted to say I liked the look of it, not compliment. Makes me realize I never complimented a woman out of my own volition.
man, I've seen the grossest cockroach porn!
>After stalking her on Facebook, getting her number from a lost phone post, and texting her out of nowhere
"Wow we have the same switchboard number in our phone numbers. That's pretty cool, huh?"
>12th grade
>Had crush on a half-asian half-white qt
>Coldest day of the year
>She sits next to me for whatever reason during break
>Try to make small talk about how cold it is, she just responds occasionally while reading a book
>Try to be cool and say, "You know, penguins in the arctic huddle together for warmth..."
>She just laughs to herself while reading
>Awkward silence for about 20 minutes until classes start again
>talking to women
>ever
wanna go out with me?
"I'll care of you and your baby, it doesn't matter if I'm not the father"
God fucking damn it, for even more lulz we're in junior highschool and the girl was like 15
Aaand I was confessing my love to her.
>>24678823
*were
fuck this
Another time, I girl rejected me, and what was my reaction? To hit the walls of my school until I broke my knuckles
>I actually like you, so this makes me feel pretty said, at least tell me why you dont want to see me anymore.
After almost getting a gf, but I was too boring for her :^)
She didn't give me any straight answer and just said the feelings weren't there anymore, topkek lads
>be junior in highschool
>think freshman girl is super cute
>friend knows her somehow and tells me her number
>text her that if we lived in Saudi Arabia I'd rape her
>>24678343
kiss me, you're beautiful, these are truly the last days
>10th grade or something
>friends with a qt from a few classes
>start messaging her on fb
>no idea why the fuck I told her I found a dildo
>"omg where?!!?"
>my mom's closet
>stops talking to me and is reluctant to conversations in class
fuck me.
>>24678813
>tfw shinji could've fucked misato/asuka/rei if he wasn't such a bitch
smhfam
also is misato not a pedo, because they never explained that.
>>24678343
>so anon, what do you think you were in a previous life?
>adolf hitler probably
The edge is still hurting me to this day
>Just remember Nayeli that I have always loved you since the 7th grade
>Her: Ok
>Me: So wyd?
>>24678970
>>24679072
weew ladss
>be me
> be skinny, socially inept eighth grader
>nobody in my class really likes me
>really have a thing for this one girl, solid 9/10
>conquer my social anxiety to go to a football game and sit next to her
>goodsofar.jpg
>we talk a bit
>I ask for something, either a phone number or a date or whatever, I forget
>obviously turns me down
>in an effort to be funny, I say "OK, guess I'll just go home and kill myself"
>she has no clue how to take it, just stares at me
>I walk away
>cry
>>24679072
>retards
if you were not taking majority ap classes in tenth-twelfth grade you are human trash
>I used to threaten women when they tried to approach me romantically just to make them stop because it made me feel uncomfortable
>"I'll kill your fucking family!"
>"I hope your house burns down."
>>24678783
Need story nao pls
>>24679145
>live in Arizona
The only AP classes offered were English and AB Calculus. I skipped freshman year and even then it was only seniors in AP classes. So many retards. I was just autistic and beta.
>>24679145
>bringing up high school "achievements" apropos of nothing
peaked early huh?
>be me, hyperautistic beta perma-virgin
>get invited to party by my chad normie roommate
>chad had already guessed that I was a virgin
>chad tells a whore friend of his about it, asked her to take my v-card
>be me at party, drunk because otherwise I can't look women in the eye
>whore grill hugs me, asks me if I wanted to go to the bedroom
>spaghetti starts spilling, I autistically croak out that I was fine
>end up almost dying that night when I start choking on my vomit and people had to roll me over in my sleep
I've spent the last 2 years of my life hating myself for not doing it. I am close to an-heroing, so I guess it doesn't matter in the long term anyway.
Alright, but first you need to know a bit about the story
>be 14yogrill
>cute 16yo girl moved in front of where I lived
>tomboy, short brown hair in feminine cut, green eyes, delicious tanned skin, glorious 10/10 fit thighs, gorgeous smile, does basketball, plays guitar, draws
>at the time I had dropped out of middle school so I was a hikikomori
Now the cringe part
>one day she invites me to go downtown to get to know me
>on the way back we walk for a bit after stepping out of the first bus
>she asks me what sort of stuff I do all day
>tell her I just browse the Internet and watch anime
>she says that she also likes anime "but only yuri, like Strawberry Panic!"
>think "oh shit man why is this even happening"
>stutter like crazy but manage to tell her that I also watch yuri and know that anime
>she gets all shy and asks if it's weird
>reply "of course not" while getting all excited inside
>at this point I already was in love with her
>eventually we take another bus
>"so what sites do you go to, anon?"
>reply 4chan
>doesn't knows what it is
>begin to explain further, especially the anime boards
>somehow, fucking somehow, I thought that it would be funny to tell her about the pedophiles in here
>begin to spout jokes about loli and pedophiles while laughing in the bus
>she tells me to lower my voice
>all the people in the bus were hearing
>she looks freaked out
>doesn't talks to me for some weeks and never invites me outside ever again
JUST FUCKING KILL ME FUCK.
>one day my mom asks me why she doesn't invites me outside anymore
>tell her that I don't know
>she begins to shit on me telling me that I couldn't be such an outcast
>she confesses that she personally went and asked her to ask me out and be my friend
>mfw
Never felt more humiliated in my life, having my mother go ask a hot girl to take me outside to socialize and yet I blew it all up with pedo jokes. To think that she could have been my girlfriend too.
>>24679296
Why would a girl get creeped out at pedo jokes from another girl? That sucks though, sorry
>>24679466
Normies. That day I realized that you can't joke about such "sensitive" topics with normies, especially with ones you barely know.
>>24679142
>"OK, guess I'll just go home and kill myself"
"I'll love you no matter what"
Nobody means that. It's always false.
>>24678985
you grabbed my hand and we fell into it
like a daydream
or a fever.
I once accidentally congratulated a classmate on a day her favorite grandma died.
>>24679735
The skyline was beautiful on fire>mfw I'm listening to that right now
>>24678343
>at party freshman year of college
>friend of a friend's birthday, don't know anyone there
>everyone is a senior or older
>start talking about how great I am
>older girl asks "why are you so great"
>saying "bend over and I'll show you"
>she says "oh my god you're creepy"
>get kicked out of party
I have never been so retroactively embarassed
>>24678343
Get so autismo at my (e)gf because she was on her period + wouldn't shut her whore mouth up with the hate so I said I'd chop off her unborn nieces head if she doesn't stop fucking with and threatening me. I then go on to say that the US doesn't need another nigger Isis baby anyhow. (Her sister is muslim and black)
Instantly feel the worst form of fucking disgust towards myself and regret like no one has ever regretted. I don't know how I reach such feats of fucking autistic anger. I could never mean those damn words. Not even fucking racist. I guess a life of all V me,outcasted, hated. Father having a sailor's mouth. Her sister against me and her being together from the start... Idk.. Fuck my life tbqhfam.
>>24678970
>>24679072
only the dead can know peace from this pain
>>24679236
It's not a matter of achievement.
Taking AP classes gets you away from the dindus
>>24679828
We woke up one morning
And fell a little further down
>meet at school club
>start hanging out alone
>smoke weed
>she asks if I want a blow job
>too high, think I imagined her saying it and ignore it
>she never calls me again
>>24679296
You're autistic as fuck please be my friend
>>24679847
>the US doesn't need another nigger Isis baby anyhow
The truth always comes out in the end
>>24679882
>Taking AP classes gets you away from the dindus
Or you can just be in an area with no minorities.
>>24679691
Little does she know I was only half joking
idont like dwelling on the past
>i know this girl, we're acquaintances, i'm trying to get with her
>i've talked to her before but i'm awkward and nervous so i can't go past small talk
>she tells me she has a boyfriend, who lives in alabama
>loldontcare
>still try to get her
>one random day after not talking to her for weeks on end, flat out ask her to prom
>it's the beginning of fucking April so we have like 2 months until prom
>doesn't matter she agrees to go with me, pretty friendly encounter
>get her number on another random day sparsely talking to her in between
>text her, whatever
>she explicitly mentions boyfriend troubles to me and family specifically daddy problems to me
looking back i should've saw this as a red flag
>one day text each other constantly, then rarely ever again
>Rarely and i mean RARELY talk to this girl about anything until prom gets closer
>prom gets about 2 weeks away
>we start discussing what we want to do after prom
>HERE"S MY CHANCE
>i write the pros and cons of what i'm about to say, oblivious that our relationship is bleak and will not result in anything
>i decide to do it, fuck it i have nothing to lose
>as i'm weighing the pros and cons, i'm texting her suggestions as to what to do after prom
>she shoots down every one, pushing me towards this decision
>fucking threw a curveball at her and asked abruptly "Why dont we get a hotel room?"
>she's puzzled, as any normal person should be, mentions she has a boyfriend, feels like a slut
>honestly wasn't at all seeing this happen to me, completely went over my head
>realize what i did, apoligize
>after that we broke off contact for a couple weeks
>we both didn't go to prom
>doesn't even matter because i just got a job on the same week as prom so i wouldn't be able to go anyway
>after a week and a half of not talking to her, i finally apoligize in person
>she's cool about it
>she still wants to be friends
even though it didn't end badly, this is the one thing i truly regret doing to a girl
>>24679296
>ruining a potential friendship / maybe more by not knowing normie social rules and spilling spaghetti
we've all been there senpai
Just started talking to a new one. So I'm sure that I'm going to say some terrible, terrible things. This is why I don't like talking to girls.
>have you heard of a place called 4chan
Never again
>>24679296
are you looking for an akward bf?
>>24679289
>im fine, thanks
come on anon
>"Would a fair beautiful lady such as yourself date this simple but deeply enamoured gentleman?"
(I didn't say it in English, but it's a pretty accurate translation)
I put my knee on the floor while saying it. My knee. On the floor.
Sometimes, you don't choose the cringe. The cringe chooses you.
>mfw it was worth it, is there something as cringe-masochism?
>>24679296
>if you're a girl you can tell other girls you like yuri and they won't think you're a creep
Female privilege. Why the fuck wasn't I born a cute lesbian.
>>24679835
>kicked out of a party for being narcissistic and quoting christmas movies
nigger u wot
>>24680438
Only if they like yuri too.
>>24678727
LOL holy fuck you said this in REAL life?
>>24678970
chuckled. kekkekkeke
>>24680248
If he would have said yes then he would have puked on the grill and an hero long time ago
you can't do this to me
>>24679296
>she confesses that she personally went and asked her to ask me out and be my friend
fuck that's rough. i'm sorry to hear that.
that being said, what exactly did you think was funny enough about pedophiles and lolis to talk about...?
>>24678800
Are you me? I have actually done that before.
>>24680112
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1CGMFARMcCj
>>24679145
>going to a high school that can afford ap classes
I bet you had art and band class too
>>24678343
>be me 9 years of age
>some fat dude randomly starts humming the indiana jones theme song really loud right at my face
>knee him between his legs
>he runs away crying
>some girl in my ghost club runs up to me saying "it's over" (didn't even know something was going on)
>try to explain to her why i did it by visualizing what he did to me
>she runs off
>never talked to me again
Remember how i thought nothing had happened so i went up to her to talk about some headless dude
>she calls me an idiot and laughs at me
>confusedautist.png
>some other girl which i played tamagochi with confessed that she liked me but not anymore because i kneed this guy
Could i have had it?
>>24678343
>I don't see many cute girls who are into anime.
I fucking hate people who say stuff like this but in the moment I was so nervous I had no fucking clue what to say. And to make it even more cringeworthy I said it more than once. I can still remember who disgusted reactions to me trying to talk to her.
The funny thing is I said worse stuff to my onetitis in middle school, but I guess knowing the fact that I was a stupid middle school kid and that was 10 years ago it doesn't make me cringe as bad as this one since this happened only a couple of years ago.
>be me a year a go
>a night out with a few friends
>decide to try to talk to girls
>walk up to four girls, ask which one of them is having a birthday
>one of them says she does
>I stutter something about how the stars are aligned the same way as when she was born...
>mfw they are all disgusted and cringed out
>mfw one of them said "wow i felt sorry for you when you said that"
>mfw my friend cuts in and says that I'm drunk
>mfw I was sober
called a night right there.
I dont talk to girls anymore
true story senpai
>>24679828
that album + skinny fists are the pinnacle of popular music
>>24680985
>tfw no one will ever dub you greentexts;_;
why even live?
>>24681217
I bet if a chad said that the girls would of thought he was funny or quirky or some shit. Since women seem to love that cheesey shit and find it funny for some reason.
Also >mfw my friend cuts in and says that I'm drunk
What a bro.
>>24681278
link me your greentext and I'll narrate it bruv
in a text
>squad's gotta turn up
three hours later after no response
>sorry wrong person lol
>middle school
>tall white trash trailer park waifu invites me to walk home with her after school
>sitting behind her house
>picks up a plastic water bottle
>hands me her pocket knife
>"How big is your dick, like, cut a hole that your dick would fit into in the bottle."
>shocked
>too autistic to really know how to interpret this interaction
>ended up cutting a tiny hole the size of a middle schoolers flaccid peepee in the bottle
I usually would just lurk
I have a ton
I'll pick this one that lands in the middle of how severe it is
>the worse ones just trigger the feels too hard
Story:
>11th grade
>bullied like no fucking tomorrow
>quiet, never talk except to 3 ppl total
>10/10 popular, rich chick talks to me in English everyday tho
>literally invites me to her game to watch her play rugby
>I said "i cant, I have youth group tonight"
>her face was awestruck as she had to explain what I said to all the other popular hot bitches
>mfw she never talked to me again
>mfw when they did that shock laughter
>mfw when I hated that youth group anyways
>mfw if I just went out of my comfort zone
>mfw all the fags on here are going to light this comment up
Send a grill a long text message basically confessing to her. I gave up on girls later that day.
>dad said we could take his car
im 27
>>24681078
what am i reading
nigger robot
>>24681402
How is that cringe?
>>24681346
>that feel when no lewd tall hillbilly gf
>>24681422
I am white tho.
>Is it okay if I kiss you?
Especially when thinking back, it's fucking cringe-worthy, but at the time it was not too bad.We clearly liked each other and were already bf-gf, she was pretty young so it was probably/hopefully deemed cute. It was too awkward at the time to actually kiss, but the awkwardness dissipated over time and we ended up kissing a week or two later.
Knowing this is no longer an acceptable thing to ask at this age, I doubt I'll ever be able to kiss/make out with a womanexcept drunkenly, apparently, found that out some weeks ago,if a situation was to ever arise.
>>24680985
I fucking Iove you
>>24681217
If you're going to do something don't hesitate, don't be insecure. The good thing is that you always learn from these fuck ups.
>carpool thing going with girls down the street
>one of them gets a boyfriend
>rides with him as well
>maximum autist, so I don't know shit about other people's social lives
>ask "hey where is femanon? She get into an accident or something?"
>everyone in the car calls me on my autism
>feels bad man
>just tell everyone to forget I said anything
>rest of the drive in complete silence
>I ended carpool thing later that year
>Haven't spoken to them since
> did swim team in hs
> hottest girl on the team 9/10 brazillian with 15/10 ass would constantly make comments on how she loves my back
> she would always try so swim behind me to look at my ass and watch me do fly from behind.
> literally every comment she made I would just laugh to myself or not say anything and avoid all eye contact.
Cringe about it at night when im about to fall asleep at least twice a month.
>>24681462
>Knowing this is no longer an acceptable thing to ask at this age
What? I did that twice this year and it worked. Well I already knew they were interested in me.
I'm 25
"Sorry I'm kinda gay. Haha"
>>24681588
>HaHa
beta confirmed
>>24681522
Sorry to here that. Grills love lats. Rememba that anon.
>>24681545
>I did that twice this year and it worked.
Really?
>Well I already knew they were interested in me.
Even so, I did not expect that to still be the case. Unless she's very clear in being interested in you I guess, and it's not really so much interested as it is more completely smitten/crushing on you or something.
26 here.
Interesting, so there may still be some hope for me if I'll ever meet a woman as clearly interested in me.
Something even more cringe-worthy though, I bet you didn't/don't ask themduring foreplay if they're in the mood for actual sex. Every. Single. Time.In my defense though, she specifically asked me to ask her every single time, she supposedly liked that I did that even though she only said yes about 4 times a year regardless of how much she seemingly enjoyed the foreplay. I'm still convinced she simply snapped out of the mood and dried up almost every time I asked that question.
haven't shared this b4
>going to prom with at Japan waifu senior year
>talk daily hang out for weeks
>1 day go to mall
>taking her home later in night
>go for kissy
>arm around, spew the most autistic shit, literally said yoloswag420 before going in
shit didn't work out after that, more to the story after but I don't want to think about killing myself right now
I've never said anything cringy to a girl because I don't talk to girls.
>>24681976
>yoloswag420
>>24680985
Kekistan
>8 yrs ago
>be 12
>parents having a fundraiser, so I'm playing WoW
>qt girl comes in room and sits on bed
>tries to talk to me but nah WoW
>asks if I want to go outside and hang
> no ty
>qt was Emma Roberts
>what could have been
>>24678343
> "Let me just pop this right here"
>>24681959
>Unless she's very clear in being interested in you I guess
It's the securest way to play, the problem is that maybe you're missing on other girls, however you won't risk being rejected.
> if they're in the mood for actual sex
I think you have a similar problem as me, we should be more confident. Just fucking do it and stop thinking too much.
>>24682158
IiteraIIy who?
>>24682238
google search
>>24682313
still have absolutely no idea who she is
>>24679083
>being so retarded you can't understand basic character concepts and archetype from fucking anime
>go to Catholic high school (not amerifat ones, it's fine)
>decide to try this weekend-long youth retreat thing because my friends and crush are going despite being euphoric
>fun for the most part, boring prayer stuff aside
>one night, the gym is dark but filled with candles (major fire hazard)
>people there are supposed to pray in there and confess their sins to god I think
>pretty much everyone ended up crying except me, walked around with a tissue box and handed out kleenex like a retard
>two cute girls, one of them my onitis, were sitting one chair apart and crying
>sit in that chair and wrap my arms around both of their shoulders, a girl in each arm
>"A DOUBLE HUG! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!"
They fucking loved it. And talk about how sweet it was the next day.
>>24682204
>It's the securest way to play, the problem is that maybe you're missing on other girls, however you won't risk being rejected.
Agreed, though I play it that way to avoid causing nuisance/awkwardness rather than rejection. I prefer not to end up making follow-up encounters after a rejection awkward to that person, and women I might find interesting tend to be ones I can get along with already; friends or acquaintances. I prefer not to lose that "relation" with them.
I asked out an acquaintance some months ago thinking she was interested in me as well; turns out she wasn't, but as there was no awkwardness past that initial moment of the rejection itself and acquaintanceship is also still intact, it was surprisingly easy to accept it and moved on the same day. Heck, if she'd now ask me out, I doubt I would say yes as I've already moved on. It helps I don't longer invest too much emotionally until after some successful "dates" or something.
>I think you have a similar problem as me, we should be more confident. Just fucking do it and stop thinking too much.
Sounds relatable.
My main problem with that first and only relationship was that she was a starfish in bed. Zero indication of actually liking sex, and even mentioned several times how she didn't really like it.
I can take the lead, take initiative, just fucking do things and whatnot with no problem, provided all parties involved desire so. Be it leading or taking initiative in a project, suggesting courses of actions at work,taking the lead when dancing, etc. So too with sex most likely. All parties wanting it is pretty damn important though, and if it's unclear they want it, I simply won't risk forcing myself / the actions upon them.
>I have a habit of liking girls without knowing them well, and it always ends up with me getting rejected. I like you because you seem so perfect, so amazing in every way. That's why I want to get to know you, so I can justify loving you.
From my old fb messages in2012
>>24683782
What was her answer?
>>24683782
she asked me if I knew what grade she was in. I was in 9th, she was 10th,
>>24683913
meant for
>>24683825
because my comment was not original, I'll mention that that probably isn't the worst thing I've said to her, but it's probably pretty close
>>24678343
an hero
i said it, it does
>be 18 years old, semimanlet and young looking
>go up to tall fat girl with maroon hair, leather jacket, and combat boots
>excuse me, could you hold onto something of mine? maybe even forever?
>...
>my virginity
>she looks down at me and then bursts out laughing
>starts walking, shoulder bumps me out of her way
fugg
>>24683782
haha I remember that issue of Star Wars: Tales
Jar Jar's father and the father of the average robot would probably get along.
>>24678343
>be me, sophomore year of college
>have extremely low self-worth
>always ignore when girls hit on me because I can't imagine why they'd want me sexually
>brushing teeth in dorm bathroom one night
>meet female dormmate as she's walking to shower
>she's wearing nothing but towel
>she starts telling me about how "showering alone sucks"
>"haha yeah you should check out a turkish bath or something"
>tells me about how she's thinking of cleaning out the bathtub downstairs sometime, loves bubble baths
>"haha yeah you should get some of those scented epsom salts"
>she laughs, turns around, takes off her towel and slowly walks into the shower
>thinking to myself this entire time that there's no way she could want to have sex with me
>finish brushing teeth, go to my room and cry myself to sleep
Do I win? Am I the most pathetic faggot here?
>>24682158
this emma roberts?
>>24680112
Zero fucks given
>>24684839
She probably didnt
Probably not the worst autism pasta I've ever spilled, but a pretty good one.
>At college
>qt from class walks up to me and asks "Will you walk me to the library"
>Visibly surprised and confused, I ask, with a scornful tone "Why?"
>>24685361
That's savage as fuck senpai.
>senior year hs
>very low self esteem
>friends with emo qt in chemistry
>she gives me her number
>no experience with girls
>thought my loneliness would finally end
>ask over text "Will you be my girlfriend?"
>she somehow agrees to a date anyway
>beat her at bowling
>lose at ddr
>thought it was a good idea to bring her outside in 30 degree weather for no reason
>first kiss at the end
>thought that meant she loved me
>text her for second date fucking 30 minutes later
>doesn't respond obviously
>deletes me off facebook
>ignores me in class until graduation
>never see her again
tfw literally this pathetic
>>24686324
how is that pathetic, she said yes?
>>24678343
I'm not a fucking normie so I never talked to a girl.
I guess that one time some bitches walked up to me at recess and asked me to say an at-the-time current meme could count.
>>24686324
holy shit that's so cu..i mean, r-ree
>2009
>be cliche sperglord, very awkward at any given time
>know this one girl since kindergarten, she has always been nice to me, try to keep in touch
>we go to a linkin park concert
>she is rather small and petite but still takes part in the moshpit
>after the show we take the train back home
>she tells me that hurt feet hurt and places them next to me on the seat
>ask her if i should rub her feet
>she looks at me in disgust, says eeewww noooo and pulls her feet away
>awkward silence for the rest of time
i still scream and slap myself in the face when i think about it. thx for reminding me OP.
>>24687420
The fuck?
People still went to Linken Park concerts then?
>>24687445
last time i saw them was 2014 and i think tickets were sold out. it was the biggest available hall too.
people even still go to limp bizkit, korn, deftones, slipknot, system of a down (if they actually move their asses on stage) and all that other crap. i love it
>>24684839
>there's no way she could want to have sex with me
You were right. She didn't.
>>24686324
>tfw no qt to call me cuuute
>>24678343
"i wanna plough you like the romans ploughed salt into the fields of jerusalem"
we were camming and she was trying to get me to talk dirty. it instantly turned her off. and she just said nope and ended our call. it was probably one of the most humiliating things to happen.
"I would like to take you up on that drink but I'm attached to someone else"
She never spoke to me again even though I'd love to be friends with her and my gf thought I liked her because I implied I'd go out with her if I wasn't in a relationship.
>>24685361
I do this kind of shit too senpai
It's not what I said, it's what I didn't say
>>24687610
That's some Mark Corrigan shit right there
>>24687610
If it were I, that would be the kind of line that would elevate you to houseband-potential status.
For real.
I would probably laugh until you ended the call, but I would deffs want to do it again.
>>24678970
kek
what is wrong with you
>>24680985
kekliano
Hi, fellow autists; i have not one but three stories to share, one more autist ic than the other.
In late elementary school, i had two female friends, both of whom would later grow into fine women. We used to hug each other often - just because we liked hugs and each other.
One day, after hugging more than usual, i felt something awakening in me, so i told them:
"Kate, Victoria, i somehow feel like hugging is not enough. Like we have to do something else after that."
I really didn't know what that could be. But they seemingly did, because they looked at each other in awkward, even bitter silence. Not knowing what to do i kept hugging them even tighter.
Flash forward to high school - or rather the summer holidays. I was in a summer camp, and the only 16yo (the rest was younger) besides me was a girl named Chanel, who had a slight inferiority complex, despite being quite attractive. She was fun to hang out with - and, again, the only other "big kid". I kissed her neck once, but i had no further intentions beside passing time.
The last holiday they that particular summer camp had a "feedback day", where all the kids & the staff exchange honest opinions about each other in public. Mostly, it was used for light-hearted compliments, but the older kids sometimes proposed here as part of a tradition.
It was my turn. Meaning nobody harm, i said mostly good things about the kids. As i had to say something about Chanel, i decided decided to make a joke, because all the little kids thought we were already a couple. So i just said one sentence:
"Chanel, you are kinda fat."
(She was a bit chubby ass and thigh-wise, but nothing a sane male would complain about.)
The kiddies giggled, i thought she did too.
So after that it turned out, she was really, really, really into me and expected me to propose, plus she had a bad feeling about her weight all the time. She cried a lot, the camp staff told me later.
Third one is soon to follow, i reached the character limit.
>confessed my love to a girl i rarely talked to when i switched schools.
>ended up coming back couple years later
She told a bunch of people too, i lied about it and though ppl were skeptical they ended up buying it.
Thanks.
without context, it's nothing, but
>girl was clearly trying to start a conversation
>complements my shirt
>say "thanks" and then proceed to ignore her
Fast forward to high school. I am extremely into a 8-9/10 qt, my type in every possible way. We talked about arts and history and i thought she gave me signs.
So i asked her out. I really had to crawl out of my skin to arrange a meeting, because we were in different majors - she in arts & design; i was in computer science. So, Saturday morning (not really) and i put in my best suit (for real) and ask her out.
She says no.
I ask her "what is the reason?", because i was disappointed and angry - i was used to be popular artsy qts.
She says "i have a boyfriend" in a timid and non-offensive way.
I utter "Well, that would be the only legitimate reason [for not going out with me]".
It was not easy, but by doing so, i actually managed to sound autistic, rape-y, creepy, narccissist, humorless, bitter, tactless, schizoid, egoistic, aggressice, juveline-egocentrical and misognystic at the same time.
>>24685361
I'm with you phampai
>>24678823
holy shit, kek incarnate
well, at least You had the guts to spill
You guys think you were bad...
it's what I didn't say when I had the chance that haunts me. i'll never see that shy qt again. all i had to do was talk to her
>>24688835
She's so apathetic it's painful
I better skedaddle if you sniff my drift
>>24684839
Do they really have coed bathrooms?
>Anna, come back
>>24678865
probably because you would have ended up like the bitter faggots here if she told you the truth
>>24678343
>intended to say Hello
>comes out as an unmistakable HEIL-OH
>>24688835
>The only important thing about a relationship is cultivating love and honesty.
She's right as fuck desu ne. Even if she's being disingenuous.
The last time my oneitis talked to me she said that she was sexually assaulted. I said "ok I don't really care." We were in a brief relationship where she immediately kucked me. I didn't talk to her for a month, she contacted me crying that she was raped at a party.
Not really cringey I guess, but I haven't talked to her sinceand I still love her.
>>24678846
*a girl
Holy shit you're a fucking autist. No wonder you said such cringe worthy shit
>12th grade
>girl has crush on me, start to develop crush on her
>she gets detention for something, jokes that I should get detention to keep her company
>took her seriously, tried to get detention but didn't
>instead I wait in freezing cold weather after school at the parking lot for 2 hours for her to get out of detention and surprise her
>I have no ride home
>make her drive me home
>to this day I can't figure out how I thought that would've impressed her and made her think it was cute
A year or two after High School a mutual friend of ours told me that the girl told her about what I did and how creepy she felt it was while driving me home that day. I never cringed so fucking hard in my life.
> hey wanna dance with me?
> no thank you
fast forward 10 years
> OMG ANON YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE?
>>24690745
that's cringy as fuck mate
>no thanks, I already have a girlfriend :)
To this day I'm a kissless virgin.
I did it because my 2 friends said she wasn't attractive.
>>24678343
>Hey do you want to study with me?
>I'm sorry I have a boyfriend.
I realize now that in this strange dimention I've been warped to, asking a girl to study (and maybe go out) is asking her to fuck.
"I'm no good for you"
HAAAAAAAOUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>24690745
Jesus christ fampai
>>24679296
shit i did this too when i first found out about /b/
i even tried to join anonymous by changing my wallpaper holy shit why did you have to remind me
the girl even thought that i jerk off to lolis until i told her that's disgusting a day later
shit still hunts me
>>24678343
>meet friend's uni flatmates, mostly girls
>they're talking about some guy who just sits in his room and wanks all day
>"haha, that guy sounds sick, I really need to meet him!"
>the whole kitchen goes quiet
>everyone avoids me for the rest of the night
>next day friend tells me all his flatmates thought I was really creepy and weird
>tfw i was literally jus bein myself
JUST
>>24685361
no but seriously... why?
>>24684839
Fuck though, that's worth a good wank though at least. At least you've seen a naked girl in the flesh.
>talking to qt pi
>say something about how cute she was
>"oh haha, anon, you're so nice"
>"yeah, for now"
>stops laughing and gives me a dead eye look
>didn't help that she knew I always carried a pocket knife around
>never talked to me again and always stayed clear of me
Idek why I said it
http://vocaroo.com/i/s132BOtIv9e1
>>24690932
Did you ever meet the King of Wanks though?
>>24678343
>I love you
It hurts
>>24690886
I've been interrupted multiple times midway through a question with "I have a boyfriend." I used to think it was just a meme, then memes became real life.
>>24684839
I don't k ow how to feel about this but I'm definitely in discomfort
>>24691042
what the shit is this
k i l l
i
l
l
y o u r
o
u
r
s e l f
e
l
f
>>24679835
>tfw if Chad says this she'll do it on command
>>24691043
I did not, probably because he was in his room wanking.
HUZZAH THE LEGENDS WERE TRUE
>>24687539
System and deftones are still pretty good desu
>>24678343
>what are you doing on my seat?
>>24691042
>mongolian cave painting board
>>24678343
>trying to flirt with high-school crush
>we're up late texting so I decide to engage her in 'stimulating' conversation
>out of nowhere I send, "Do you ever wonder how the universe began?"
>turns out she was with a bunch of her friends at the time so of course they were all following our chat
>news of that spread around to others
>one day in gym class some guy shouts across to me: "Hey anon! Do you ever wonder how the universe began?"
>>24679296
I refuse to believe that this happened to a person. I just don't... Want... To...
>>24686324
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
THIS ISN'T REAL
>be me, 16
>getting handjob
>only sexual encounter I've ever had
>kinda meh, she's not very good at it but it's pretty hot so whatever
>30+ minutes later still haven't cummed
>mixture of nerves and handjob not as good as doing it myself
>she asks "what can I do to make it better for you?"
>"can i see your boobs?"
>"n-no anon, it's cold out!"
>boner getting softer, balls getting bluer
>"then... how about you do it with your mouth?", I mutter excitedly
>awkward pause for like a minute
>"haha no anon, I've never done that before! h-haha"
>mfw
>willy retracts back inside body
>balls turn into bright blue space hoppers
>mood completely killed, give up
>dumped me a couple of weeks later
>still no blowjob or gf
>still mountains of cringe
Protip from the cyborg realm: if you ever want a blowjob, for fuck's sake don't stutter out the words "do it with your mouth". There are other ways you can obtain the sucky sucky without desperately saying the first thing on your testosterone-drunk stupid horny mind.
jamacian half cast girl asks me out and i go full /pol/ and start shouting things like "i hate fucking niggas" in front of her and her friends
tbf its not really cringe-worthy because i'm just trying to keep my 100% turkmen blood
>>24680112
>still wants to be friends
She's keeping you around so when things end with Billy Bob she'll have a backup beta with a job to financially support her and Billy Bob's son, Joey
>>24688277
>high schools
>majors
ya blew it
>>24678343
Not cringy but definetly haunts me.
>Girl i like asks me if i like her
>Say no
>tfw was too shy and autistic to say i like her
>tfw havent got a second chance with any girl since, it's been 5 years
>>24678343
>17-18 years old
>kv
>recently got pretty /fit/ and /fa/
>still pretty fucking aspie
>at one of my first highschool parties ever
>the stacies randomly come up to me at the party
>"heyyy, anon wanna hear something...we think youre really hot"
>are they for real? I guess they are, after all Im pretty buff now hehe
>ok be smooth you got this
>this was around when LMFAO's "sexy and I know it" had been playing on the radio alot
>"h-haha yea Im s-sexy and I kknow it...haha..."
>they arent too creeped out, they just kinda laugh
>powerwalk the shit out of that situation
>later the hottest stacy comes up to me
>she still has the best body I have ever seen IRL
>that ass especially
>pushes me against the wall
>Im sweating bullets at this point
>tries to kiss me
>what the fuck is going on what am I supposed to do
>dodge the fuck out of that kiss and pull a disgusted face at her
>she looks confused and gives me a kiss on the neck and walks away
>yea that was a close one I should better go home now
Now that Im ugly and balding I think about that night everysingle day. I could have had sex with a legit 9/10 slut. Still a kv at 21 at yearsold. Sigh.
most of your "cringe" moments were just meh jokes, you failed normies
>tfw 24 yo kissless handholdless virgin
"I like your nectar"
After going down on a girl for literally (LITERALLY) 4 hours because I am a premature ejaculator and didn't want to do actual penetration sex.
>>24678343
Girl: Do you think I'm pretty?
Me: No, go away.
She was 9/10
>>24690999
Kekd irl tbhq senpai
>>24692010
>nectar
>>24690932
You know, I've always considered myself a normie, and that seems like a normal joke to make.
Those people were just humourless turds tbqh
>Helping out a bunch of kids in my chem class because they're fucking idiots
>Insanely hot 10/10 keeps needing help on the simplest things
>Someone suggests I tell her I should be allowed to take her out on a date because I'm helping her so much
>I say the first thing that comes to mind
>"Nah, I only fuck with tens"
>Realize I said this loudly
>She looks genuinely hurt
Not sure if alpha or autistic
>be 18 yr old kv
>have never even approached a girl
You fags are all normies
Told her what cp was. The look she gave me...
>>24690897
Image combined with text made me laugh. Overall, this was a very funny reply.
>>24692126
I know, right? Girls can just be fucking vapid most of the time.
>grade 6 or 7
>almost everyone has msn
>add my friends and eventually some girls from class
>start acting bad ass while talking to the girls
>talking about beating people up and stuff
>other weird things
I was the shy weird kid in person.
>>24692199
I'm a grill and I make jokes about crysterbating and people think it's hilarious
Why the fuck is my weird wank joke laughed at and yours not
It's not fair anon
>>24692277
Emily?fug the ribbot
>be /pol/
>talk to some girl i had an interest in
>conversation goes good, little jokes here and there
>do tell a joke that is a little politically incorrect to slightly reveal my power level
>turns out that already was too much
>looks at me like i am a demon and berates me
>people around us staring at us
>fogg
The joke was
What have frozen pizzas and parents in common?If they are black you have nothing to eat
>>24692277
Probably because you're a girl and guys secretly get turned on when a girl talks about masturbation?
>>24679900
so did it happen, or did u imagine it?
>>24679296
even though your mom probably had the best intentions for you. i fucking hate her for that. she's just like my mom was. god fucking damnit. overprotective moms are excruciatingly naive
>>24692680
>talking to girl at university
>she says she's open-minded
>start being candid that I find sjw stuff silly
>she's laughing
>get too comfortable
>admit i'm a nazi
>university, at a bar
>playing pool with an acquaintance
>very high and drunk
>take a long time to line up the shot
>girl tells me to hurry up
>i tell her to shut the fuck up
but that wasn't even it friends
>she comes and talks to me later outside
>i'm thinking why would she talk to me after i yelled at her
>significantly more wasted by this time
>another guy i talked to says something to me
>one on one side, the other on the other side
>stare straight forward, ignore them both
>a good ten seconds, the girl leaves
that one haunted me for awhile.
oh also i don't know exactly how this one went, but a group of frosh friend types from my dorm were sitting on this stairwell. somebody says something and i end up making a joke about abortion, something to do with the same gloves that were used to perform it or something. needless to say i was very drunk and in a dark mood.
another one i was in grade 2 or 3. a teacher comes in, asks if anyone has such and such name, was probably european or something. i say "i do i do," teacher says "oh really?" and i yell as loud as i can "NOT!!" in an attempt to impress a girl named christina. she turns away and stares straight forward. i was one of those "too autistic to be self aware" kids.
>>24692827
shit man, never admit that, i really need to cut down my racist jokes when i am around girls i have interest in, or i pretend i mean it ironically
>grade 7
>very obsessed with the band system of a down
>there's a girl who i sort of met through a friend who has a soad sweatshirt
>i think this is wonderful
>i've long since interpretted system of a down as permission to act weird because i idealized that sort of thing
>decide to be weird on purpose, in hindsight having always come off as fake and tryhard
>i'm yelling things at her in the hallway
>says something like "stop!"
>looks scared
>i am oblivious
>Having sex with grill
>She tells me she wants me to say mean things to her
>Tell her "If I could kill you with no legal repercussions whatsoever, I would do it without hesitating for a second"
>She says it's really disturbing that I would say that and that I should stick with saying cute stuff.
>>24679142
>"OK, guess I'll just go home and kill myself"
JUST
>>24688195
this reminds me
>go to bring your kid to work day, probably 12 or so
>dad's a teacher
>sitting in his class while his kids are doing work
>girl with really bad acne but is really nice asks me my name
>answer her, say nothing else
>she looks really sad
i was awkward, afraid of being rejected, so i operated at bare minimum. i'm sorry, i don't remember your name. i hope you didn't think it was because of your acne.
>>24688277
you're hard on yourself famm. that's not that bad. i 'awww'ed at your chanel story though, poor girl.
still, you gotta forgive man.
>>24688835
oh, buddy. yeah, what you said lacked tact, but you're hard on yourself. you're doing what young men who care about the well being of others do. you were trying to figure what was going on and then make sure she didn't get hurt. tact is often learned by realizing why it's important, aka fucking up. you're alright man. people make these mistakes. they're necessary.
"I miss your lips" or something to that effect. Only one that I'm truly ashamed of.
>>24693065
Why are girls all brain-dead libruls? Why can't I just meet a qt right-wing nationalist grill who believes in Britain?
>On random party
>Hey wanna dance
>Uhh no
attemp no. 2
>Hey wanna dance
>Everyone around her tells me to fuck off
I tried a few more times and got rejected everytime on this party I got rejected like 5 times, on the previous one 4 I think? And three on the last party I was at. Pretty bad when so many drunk girls reject you. Im not even ugly or anything. After that I lost all will to live like normie and dont want to go to parties anymore
>>24681278
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1OWA2pJgBX3
Familia
>>24689710
How is he not a bitter faggot here now?
>>24680437
kek
the autism is strong in this one
Since someone else talked about how they spilled Roman spaghetti, I will share my moment of Roman cringiness (I am autist and Rome is my special interest).
>Be me
>Family reunion
>17
>Somehow have to sit with 22 yr old cousin and her Stacey friends that she invited (she is a Stacey as well)
>They start talking about alcohol and getting drunk
>Somehow get reminded of this one Roman civil servant carrying 100+ gallons of wine with him for personal use while on a business trip
>End up spilling 10+ min of Roman spaghetti about things only tangentially related to alcohol
>Everything from the possibility that "fucked up" may derive from Roman terms, to that the Romans slaughtered tens of thousands of refugees by inviting their leaders and getting them drunk
>Eventually get stopped by mother
>Look around and realize everyone is cringing really hard
>Pic related: my feels at the time
>I just went inside and didn't even look at any of them for the rest of the reunion, which lasted another three days.
>I still haven't spoken to the cousin since then, despite us being pretty close when we were younger
>It has been three years
>>24691878
Same here tbqhfam. Nothing special.
"Your hair smells really nice"
She gave me this look that I will never forget, like I had just pissed in her cornflakes
Drunkenly texted my ex a very long rant about how she shouldnt try to talk shit about me because I only wanted her for sex anyway
The reason she broke up with me was because one day I just flat-out said "You know, youre the only reason youre unhappy."
>>24679296
I'll be your pedophile yuri gf!
>>24678343
Got nothing particular because I didn't usually talk to girls, but I once had an autistic as fuck facebook account with few friends in which I added some female classmates that I liked and would occasionally thumbs up their photos while I never even talked to them IRL.
At least I was aware of my social autismitis, but I still don't know why I thought it was a good idea and wouldn't come out as some creepy fuck.
I'm lucky that those pics had tens of likes tho, maybe they didn't notice desu
>>24691546
im not from the US originally
"University" in german: Hochschule (literal translation: high school) So i keep using that without noticing. Every german can confirm.
Damn, Robots. You make me feel a little bit better about myself. Thanks g'd social anxiety has stopped me to show my autism.
I posted a thread about this a couple weeks ago
>Walk into math class
>qt female friend and homie there as usual
>Pull out worksheet thats due at the end of class
>"heh, only have the last page done so far"
>Grill says "You didnt do any of it??"
>for some reason that still aludes me I reply "I said I did the last page, learn how to listen you dumb cunt"
>instant silence
>feels like stomach is knotting from mix of guilt shame and cringe
>try to apologize after class
>really doesnt wanna hear it
>havent talk to either of them since
"Well, at least I still have my good friend Jack Daniels"
After mt freshman year gf broke up with me. We were 14, and no I did not have a bottle of Jack Daniels
>>24691878
29yo khv
and when i was 25 i sperged out on a girl i liked (she was older than me)
that was the first, and probably the last, time i old a girl i liked her romantically
>>24685361
rofl, sounding mean by accident is the biggest problem with my fucking asptism, fuck.
>>24695855
if it makes you feel any better, that made me laugh harder than anything in this thread.
>>24695855
i dont get it phampai
>>24695505
>So i keep using that without noticing
idiot
>>24695855
>"I said I did the last page, learn how to listen you dumb cunt"
That's made me laugh every time you've posted it.
>>24680985
Are you a professional?
>>24688835
This is text. This forum requires text.
>>24679296
You might think you're still alive, but that was the moment when you died on the inside.
Don't kid yourself, though. You probably never stood a chance anyway.
>>24678343
>I really like video games.
>I just thought this would work. I'll miss you.
just fuck my shit up
>>24693174
fuck mane. that is some serial killer shit desu
>in dorm room with girl
>"hey anon i think i want to kiss you"
>"ya...ha..ha.. ha ...ummm ya some time"
>8 hours later
>come back
>"can I take you up on that kiss"
>"no"
Not so much of what I said but what I did
>First day at new school in America
>Age 15 and this school is more socially advanced then my old school in Australia
>Girls and guys hanging out and hugging while in Australia sexes were still in their own groups
>Meet a girl in my first class of the school and encounter her in the hallway
>She is holding a folder and opens her arm to give me a hug
>I am not used to this and nobody did this where I was from
>I thought she wanted a hi-five
>Slab her a fiver
>SNAP
>I broke her wrist
>School outcast and weirdo for the rest of my time in highschool
>Ended up skipping school and sitting in a drain pipe for 3 years till I graduated,
>>24692548
Oh didn't see your post, hit me up on skype senpai
I've never talked to a girl
fucking normies get the fuck off my board
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe
this desu
There's been plenty IRL but not nearly as bad
