>Interviewer says, "Tell me about yourself".
wat do
"I'm boring, and you're understaffed. Cut the shit and hire me."
>>24675174
Talk about your education and previous jobs, that's all
>>24675174
He doesn't literally mean tell me about yourself. He means "why are you a good candidate for this job"
then you list of any skills related to the job you have
if this is a shitty retail or cashier job just be like I'm a hard worker that gets things done or some bullshit
DO NOT say something irrelevant like you like playing video games unless you think they do also and then you can suck his dick to get your job
>>24675213
>previous jobs
ill be right on that
I'm a kissless virgin with no friends. I live in my mother's basement and I have no future. Want to be friends interviewer?
p-pls respond....
i'm desperate...
pls
>>24675198
>Note to self: not a team player, unfriendly and passive-aggressive.
Thank you, anon. This interview is over...don't call us, we'll call you.
>>24675253
Virgin and you are 25? Hahaha, nice joke. You are hired.
>>24675174
The term "yourself" is used when addressing another individual to speak about that same person, or to emphasize them. It has four vowels, and four consonants.
>>24675357
"Sure, joke, I'm totally joking"
>>24675253
>"Virgin? We'll be sure to change that."
>your dream waifu walks in
Problem solved.
I graduated with GPA of 4.0, I was the chairman of 2 societies in my time in college, I love swimming, reading and hiking. Last year I went on a week long hiking trip in the wild with myself and my closest friend. While on the hike my friend and I had to work side by side, relying on each other heavily. I also play numerous musical instruments, my favourite being the drums as I love playing jazz or blues.
>"Now we're going to do a role play exercise
Just had this today. It didn't go well.
>>24676159
>favourite
I see. We'll be in touch.
>into the trash it goes
>>24676064
Back to le'ddit
Share all of your memes with them and hope they're as much of a meme master as you are
Might even get you preferential treatment
>>24675258
Where does he imply he's not a team player?
>>24676228
that's how interviews work
>>24676176
I NEED THIS JOB MAN. I NEED IT BAD.
>>24675174
Sit there slack jawed while staring into his eyes for five seconds before mumbling something about being good with people.
I'm a hard worker, I set high goals and I've been told I'm very persistent
>>24677084
>I'm very persistent
Why don't you have a gf yet though?
>i have no hobbies, no interests, I get neither joy nor pleasure from anything. I stopped being sexually attracted to anyone at least a decade ago, I spend all my time in my head fantasizing about my idealized self, which I can never be. I have no confidence, my self esteem is in the negative, and I'm terrible at math. I am clumsy, have a poor memory, I am physically weak and fragile, my feet start hurting like crazy if I stand for more than 30 minutes. My best strength is sleeping
Use jargon or mess with words:
"As person, I'm a rather unique person with some funny hobbies, I like to browse social media, post along my fellow community and having joy with them by the way of memes.
As worker, I'm serious at what I'm doing and I'm focused, and ready to receive feedback and to improve to suit better my work"
>>24678499
Are you me?
Everything here is like me
"I believe my ability to work is what should earn me this job, not how you judge me for who I am. Thank you for the opportunity but this workplace is not the kind of environment I see myself in. Good day, sir."
Tip my fedora and walk away.
>Need to get a job and become a wagekek
>Scared of getting one
I can't even function around people now, how the fuck am I supposed to do it in a professional environment? And what do I even say in the interview? I have no redeeming qualities and I can't talk to anyone without stuttering.
How do normalfags do this shit? Why can't I be normal?
If I drive for you, you get your money. You tell me where we start, where we're going, where we're going afterwards. I give you five minutes when we get there. Anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours. No matter what. Anything a minute on either side of that and you're on your own. I don't sit in while you're running it down. I don't carry a gun. I drive.
>>24678694
Have you tried omegle?
use a mask
Talk to strangers, reduce your social anxiety
>>24675174
>I like to stay in touch with the latest online trends through synergy of various content aggregates
Is a business-talk way of saying that you look at memes on 4chan and also secretly reddit
>>24675397
>thank you anon for telling us you have special needs
>we'll keep that in consideration when we decide the perfect candidate for the job
>thank you for coming in, don't worry we'll let you know if you've got the job
>>24678694
Find a cleaning job.
On of my better job was collecting & cleaning and distributing plastic trays at a shopping mall's food court. We also cleaned the tables and chairs and floor. No angry middle-aged women asking to see our manager because she wants to use an expired coupon.
I never even met the guy who hired me until weeks later when he came by the place since it was a phone interview.
>>24678896
what about the people who look at you while youre doing mexican work
>>24678600
>we're the same person, and one of us the figment of the schizophrenia
>>24675174
>Tell me about yourself
I got this in an interview a few months back..
>Well i went to highschool and then I went to uni...
>silence
didnt get the job
>>24679054
What about them?
No one really notices you since they're busy eating their food on their lunch break, and the people who work at the fast food places are also doing their own thing.
I'm a faggot
eat a dick
walks out the door
>>24675174
Tell em about your dad. What's your dad like? I wanna meet that dad.
>>24678448
>not understanding the reference
>>24675174
Seriously, just make up shit.
Tell them you love traveling around the world, you are part of two sports and have been a life long member of an art club. Just make up the most stupid shit you can, that is what all normies do all the time to get jobs or get laid. They just want to check if you are not a sperg.
>he doesn't have a preloaded life story that includes fictional girlfriends
I have a completely fictional identity that I use for job interviews because you will never talk to HR reps after the interview.
>>24679410
what job were you apply for though?
Tell them you like philosophy
You already know you aren't going to get the job anyway
>>24675174
>tfw when working in creative industries
>tfw 90% of the interviews are just talking through your portfolio which is fucking easy and acts as evidence for you being able to do the job rather than bullshit interviewer questions
>tfw any questions you do get are "wow! how did you make that?" rather than "Tell me about your normieness?"
Don't get an arts degree they said
It'll be useless they said
This is why you don't listen to reddit anons.
