just tell me some shit you did ever at any time just literally any fucking little tale you have to tell
>playing with dick on my own
>not masturbating just fiddling and diddling
>hear bro arrive as planned, he begins ascending the staircase
>tuck my penis away
>he enters the room and I play it cool
>"This room smells like fucking cock"
>mfw
>Wife is still lactating after having our son
>At night I squeeze her boobs while she sleeps and squirt the milk as far as I can while I think about anime
>I remembering fingering my ex and making her cum in her own house.
>Later on as I left, I shook hands with her dad with the same hand I fingered her with.
>>24665819
>Guy asks to tell a story
>Any story
>Literally fucking anything
>mind goes fucking blank
>>24665927
>you will never have a lactating wife and drink her milk forever so she never stops lactating
>>24665961
well that is a story in itself
I will tell another story
>going to buy fried chicken for dinner
>schoolchildren hanging around in a narrow passageway
>one of them calls me 'joey' but I ignore him
>I take a different route home
>>24665972
Her milk tastes like kind of watery lucky charms milk. The kind that's left over in the bowl after eating all the cereal.
Sweet, watery, milk.
>>24666017
that is fucking delicious anon
I wonder if women would be into breastfeeding their men
>>24665945
One time I took a gf and her mum out to dinner to get to know her better, and I could still smell her on my fingers
it was a seafood restaurant too
I recently started dating a girl for the first time and I realized I went from being a beta loser to being the chad that fucks another betas oneitis. I kind of feel sorry for them, and its not even one guy. I can count at least three
Its an interesting development in my life
> try nofap
> day 8, have wet dream, wake up just before cumming, realize I'm going to get blue balls
> fuck it, jack off to memory of dream
>visit friend
>he falls asleep drunk
>stare at his bare feet
>medium sized feminine feet, perfect toes and soles, perfect skin
>pop a boner
>imagine stuff, rub boner through jeans
>look at his face
>his eye was open for a second, he is slighty smiling
>he knows
>>24666125
Continuing the story:
> cum with force of 1000 suns
> shoots everywhere, I swear it hit the wall behind me
> some gets on my forehead and drips into my eye
> just lay there recuperating for like half an hour with cum crusting over my left eye before I decide to take a shower.
>tfw watching Jerry Springer
>all these betas getting keked
>sometimes by chicks
>all these roasties getting toasty, crying even
>cheating bitches getting dumped
>fatties gonna fat
>sometimes hot transsexuals, sometimes gross
>20 year olds with kids, lel
>and all the Chads/Tyrones
>these fucking guys
>one was sleeping with the mom and two sisters
>one had two chicks fighting over him
>they told him to choose
>he didn't, and they just stopped complaining, as if they were ok with that
>guys who clearly state to 8-and up chicks that they don't want to date
>they're STILL begging to be together
It's truly a guilty pleasure.
>be 15
>meet cute girl
>be friends with cute girl she likes to go to my place after school
>i have bottle of vodka start drinking
>she wants some too
>start making out
>get into my bed taking off clothes
>shes in black bra and green panties
>she takes off panties
continue?
>>24667531
>continue?
No.
>>24667531
please dont. please. dont.
>>24667702
shuddap
>15 year old dreams about to come true
>dreams about to come true
>panic
>jump out of bed
>can't sleep with drunk grill
>tell her to put panties back on
>she says no all sexy like tugging at the blanket wanting me to come back
>super panic going to point at panties on ground and tell her to put them back on
>look at green panties im pointing at about to tell her to put them back on
>not green panties it's the lockness monster
>get out of my story lockness monster
>not unless you give me tree fidy
continue?
>>24667790
Ples.
>Laying in bed, playing with boner
>length not great but I'm satisfied with girth
>roommate texts me asking me to take out empty beer cans before landlord comes over
>too hungover
>see this thread
>post
Yup
>>24667852
>not really lockness monster
>tell her to put panties back on
>panic
>knock at door
SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR
>she stops the sexy no come back to bed act
>run out of room
>moms ex boyfriend wtf does he want cockblock
>don't remember what he wants but perfect excuse
>go back to room tell grill someones outside get dressed
>she gets dressed
>still friends
>she still comes to my place
>playing video games one day want to have sex with non drunk grill
>notice she is wearing ring
>take ring from her
staaaaaaaaaahp give it back
>put ring in my mouth and stick it out between my teeth
>grill tries to grab it with her teeth
>makeout.jpg
continue?
>>24667955
BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO NESSIE??
>>24665927
Please leave my board regular person
>>24668188
Oh there's gonna be a nessy guy
>play fight over ring turns into make out
>good christian boy want to give her the D ask her to be girlfriend
>she says yes
>clothes coming off
>someones at the fucking door again
>mom is home
>grill leave
>starts getting regular she comes over we make out clothes come off
>she doesnt want sex
>clothes off genitals rubbing together
no
>go to school teacher makes fun of me for having hickies
>two other grills i really want to bang but have gf
>about a year of this
>have sex with grill twice
>says she thinks she pregnant
>nope pulled out twice
>grill says she wants to break up
>fine
>grill moves out of trailer park to a different town
reason she started hanging out at my house is because she was implying brother was raping her
>red flags she implied she was getting gang fucked by two other dudes at the same time
Still no lockness monster
>got my dick wet
I can do better than her.
>The end.
>at a club with housemates
>inb4: REEEEEEEEEEEEE
>very, very drunk, stumble into this random girl's tits
>she laughs, I laugh, we go out for a cigarette to laugh about it even more
>getting along really well, despite me dropping spaghetti like a fat Italian
>make out with her whilst smoking
>srsly hot
>thinking "holy shit, I'm probably going to bring her home, THIS IS FUCKING IT"
>housemate appears out of nowhere, wanted me to get a taxi for her
>obviously she couldn't call it herself
>too loud where I was, had to move away from girl to call them
>call the taxi, say goodbye, go back to where girl was, she's gone
>look around the smoking area and inside for her, no avail
>realise how desperate I must look, call it a night and go home
>housemate I called the taxi for isn't home
>see her the next day
>"oh yeah, I didn't get the taxi in the end, lol"
And that was the day I got cockblocked by my female housemate and a taxi service
>>24668358
GET TO NESSIE!!
>>24668566
I lied about nessy
there is no lockness monster
Really you need some jesus in your life if you still want the nessy. How about this instead the morale of the story is just because a girl is easy doesn't mean she's gonna be easy for you.
>>24666043
>Talking about breastfeeding with girlfriend
>I ask "what do you think human milk tastes like?"
>We google it, basically says what the other anon says
>Somehow the topic of me tasting hers comes up
>"Well aren't you gonna taste mine when we have kids?"
>My naturally response, simply because I thought she'd be grossed out if I said otherwise is "Fuck no!"
>She basically tells me she wants me to try it, almost like it's a normal thing
Welp, guess I'm drinking titty milk some day.
I'd just say you'd know you cock sucker
