/r9kave/ thread
>Be me
>Stay in cave all sun movements
>Painting on cave
>Paint picture of a sad frog
>Chad thunderock breaks in cave with sharp spear
>Steals food and rock
>Stand there in front of cave painting
>He see sad frog I drew
>He say " I use this now , is now called sad toad"
>Reply with "o-okay"
>Berrypickerasfuck.cavepainting
>no laws forbidding murder
>kill chad
>take his women
>live happily ever after
>>24665233
>lying on public cave paintings
>>24665233
>no laws forbidding murder
>go to kill chad thundercock in his sleep
>upon approaching his cave I see the fire hasn't been put out
>hmmmm.cavepainting
>upon entering realise he isn't asleep, but is participating in a mating ritual with 5 concubines
>he sees me
>oh shit.wallscratching
>he runs at me and grabs me by the throat, lifting my weak manlet form high above him
>"I kill you now" yells chad, the concubines masturbate and coil around each other in the background
>chad throws me to the ground
>as I regain consciousness, I see chad has returned to his harem
>I get up to escape, but chad sees me and runs in my direction
>excited screams come from the girls as he grabs a large rock and goes to bash my skull in
tl;dr kekoldry
Bump
Gghb
>>24665279
Top kek there m80
>that ooga booga when 30 moon cycles old and still have never mated with my rockitis
Any other rockbots nearing shamandom?
>>24666366
>30 moon cycles
You only know dreams of great elder after 30 winters young bear paw
>>24665370
Fuckin kek'd
>hungry
>no more bird meat
>decide to leave cave to get more chickenmeat
>instantly greeted by fellow tribesmen
>ooga booga look who left his bedroom!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR
>be me
>twelve winters old, time to become a man
>prepare for vision quest, excited to finally have a place of honor in my tribe and choose a woman
>going to be a great warrior of medicine man or hunter
>drink vision drink, climb mountain
>colors become like rain stick
>mocked by the spirits of my ancestors
>mocked by the faces in the trees
>no great vision or manly kill
>scream in terror as the shadows overtake me
>wake up in a pile of my own puke with shitstreaks on my loincloth
>had to be rescued by Chad Thunderock from sharp beast
>laughingshamans.rockpeg
>Chad Thunderock get god of strength and fertility for sign and take my rockitis for his bride
>Chad take rockitis maidenhood at marriage ceremony after get tattoo, whole tribe hear her hooting and scream
>me get goddess of maidenhood and womanly duties, get tattoo of goddess symbol
>berrypickerasfuck.rockpeg
>story of my quest passed down by elders
>laughingelders.rockpeg
Me finished. Me going to eat bad berries and just end it all.
>>24666921
>parents have hunters over in our cave to thank for the food
>have to wait till they leave to get some rainwater
>mfw I've been thirsty since they got here
>mfw they just finished fucking my mother
>mfw my sisters are fight over which one gets to go first
>mfw my berries gone bad
>be me, father is tribe chief
>meet with outsider tribe chief to marry daughter and unite tribe
>in chief cave, cook food for marriage feast
>bride mother tell me to hunt beast for feast
>canthuntbeastforfeast.jpg
>bride mother tell me to cut tree for fire
>can'tcuttree.rockpeg
>bride mother say crush oat for make food over fire
>can'tcrushgrain.rockpeg
>me break pretty clay bowl with rock
>chief daughter start to cry and say she no want make baby with bad man
>chief tell me go home
>chief marry daughter as third bride to Chad Thunderock
>Chad tribe slaughter father tribe
>ancestors look on in shame
This is why i still come here