I think about suicide every day
I cry every day
Why am I like this?
Something's wrong with me
I ask myself the same question.
I do it all but cry. I just kinda sit here, feeling numb and wanting to die.
That's just how it is sometimes, friend. There are times when I don't even want to get out of bed, and I'd rather just crawl under my desk and curl up into the fetal position. Know that there are others out there that feel like you. You're not the only one that goes through pain and hardships, and there are people that want to help.
How long have you felt like this? Have you thought about trying to get help?
>>24655809
I'd say it's an extreme state of feeling useless or broken. I am feeling that, but I usually just keep to myself. Then I lurk, then lurk some more. Eventually i'll die. But I would like to feel as if my life has more meaning than waiting for death. I really wish for it to be.
>>24655867
I go through times when I feel better, but I've been like this most of my life.
My earliest memories of wanting to suicide are in middle school, and I'm 24 now.
I've been on and off antidepressants several times throughout my life, but they ultimately didn't help.
I don't have insurance right now to try something new.
I recognize that I'm going to kill myself eventually, it's just a matter of when. It's a thought I've had for as long as I remember.
What you feel is not unique. There are many ways you can go about to treat this kind of feeling but the real question is whether you want to or not. There is no right answer just what's right for you.
Jerk off. Works for me.
>>24655969
basically what >>24655993 said
It sounds like you're trying to get help, which is good. I'd rather hear that you haven't written yourself off yet ("I recognize that I'm going to kill myself eventually"). You never know what you could find down the road.
Do you have any hobbies that interest you? Exercising helps these feelings of uneasiness quite a lot (from both personal experience and reading/hearing about it quite often). Do you like to exercise? Maybe lift weights, go jogging, play some sort of recreational sport?
>>24655809
I have been depressed for as long as I can remember and at this point, I enjoy it (oddly enough).
It has a poetic charm to it; there's a real beauty about it.
You see the world through a whole new lens, but only after you grow out of the hopelessness and despair.
Don't be scared, just live your life no matter how shitty it is.
Be grateful, and find something to help you cope, or vent out your emotions. Music is great, I hope you're turning to it right now.
Find something that makes you happy. Anything.
Just make sure that it is engaging, makes you feel comfortable, relaxed, and at the same time, makes you think because if you can channel out some happiness through a hobby you enjoy (hopefully not video games, something real) you really begin to analyze your depression in a different light, and realize how silly parts of it are.
Just let it out and become a stronger person.
>>24655809
4 months ago i felt the same, i was really scared because each day the idea of suicide was becoming more real, then something happened that i can't explain very well, but i started to run almost every day, and the suicidal thoughts just faded away, my mind slowly came back to normal, now it's been like 3 months since i don't feel that way, i hope you try this.
>>24655969
>antidepressants
There you fucking go. Those things are poison and will fuck up your brain.
They do way more harm than good. That's why you're so fucked up right now.
>>24655809
That's perfectly natural, that's just a pretty big symptom of medical depression.
To cope I just try to occupy my mind with other things like making up shitty stories where I insert myself into an idyllic world. The stories are awful but it helps distract me.
Even though I feel this way, I don't care enough to do anything.
Sometimes I do, so I'll try seeing a psychiatrist or exercising or a new hobby.
But eventually, days, weeks, months later, I'll fall back into this pattern
I can't escape it.
