Mischief
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Who /mischief/ here?
>order water at mckeks
get sprite
Is /mischief/ dead?
>>24645969
>Invite married women to a party with all black single men
>>24645707
>Prof asks if I know the answer
>Tell him I don't
>I do
>someone asks if I'm ok
>say that everything is alright
>it actually isn't
>>24645969
>start /mischief/ thread
>not actual mischief
pretty next level tbqf
>>24645707
I've just started college, currently living alone and bored as fuck. Anyone wanna suggest some mischiefs to kill time and piss off normies?
>Go to supermarket
>Aisle with Pringles
>Shake all the Pringles cans so when people buy them they're only getting crumbs.
>>24646139
>complain about mischief not being to your taste
there's your mischief for today
>>24646169
Nvm I just realized, in burgerland you get to refill your own cup, right? I thought they just gave OP the wrong drink (in my 3rd world country they hand you a bottle)
>>24646209
yeah you get to refill your own cup here. It has all the soda choices and water is on there too
>>24645707
Trying something new here: vocaroo /mischief/
This is how I imagine these threads sounding.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0KaGL9zyNIl
>>>improperly greentext
>>>make subtle nuances and mannerisms in my posts that anyone can tell I'm not familiar with chan culture
>>>purposely misread greentexts as to what a poster is actually saying instead of quoting or implying
>>>convert all my pngs to jpg formats and rename my images to image to make it seem like I'm posting on my phone
>>>announce sage even though I only put them in the name field and not options
>>>reply to mundane posts quoting "normies" or any ordinary chan lingo with a laughing image macro and saying my sides are in orbit just to see everyone squirm at how much of an apparent newfag I am and let the replies roll in
Pic related.
Master this and become the bane of wageslaves the world over.
>>24646336
thanks for posting twice
>>24646389
>>>improperIy greentext
>>>make subtle nuances and mannerisms in my posts that anyone can tell I'm not familiar with chan culture
>>>purposely misread greentexts as to what a poster is actually saying instead of quoting or implying
>>>convert all my pngs to jpg formats and rename my images to image to make it seem like I'm posting on my phone
>>>announce sage even though I only put them in the name field and not options
>>>reply to mundane posts quoting "normies" or any ordinary chan lingo with a laughing image macro and saying my sides are in orbit just to see everyone squirm at how much of an apparent newfag I am and let the replies roll in
>>24646166
Wow, nice one. Something that can legitimately be pulled off while still making people pretty miserable.
>>24646273
cute voice.
>>24646341
what is this exactly?
>>24646871
Put postcard or similar on full glass. Turn glass around while holding postcard firmly to glass. Put glass down with postcard between it and table. Slide postcard out from bottom of glass.
>save image as McVeigh.jpg
>it's actually a picture of terry nichols
>use this image with many of my posts
>people often try to correct me by saying that it's not McVeigh but nichols
>I already know that
>I got them to waste a reply and therefore have to wait to post again
>>24646341
FUCK YOU
I WORK AT A DAIRY QUEEN AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO COME IN AND DO THAT SHIT DURING BUSY HOURS
MY BOSS MAKES ME WRAP A TOWEL AROUND IT AND TURN IT AROUND AND EVEN THEN IT FUCKING SPILLS AND I HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP BECAUSE IT'S SODA NOT WATER
FUCK YOU
>tell myself it's her loss and she'll regret it one day
>know she won't
>dealer
>start hand with kokushi musou
>could call tenhou
>call riichi instead
>>24647002
the absolute madman.
Filterblox
I love these threads.
>purposely pee on every seat
>start a "favorite x" picture for a thread
>delete halfway through
>tell mom I'm a good boy
I'm NOT!
>live in Japan with family
>commit suicide to make them pay fines
epic banters
>post on /mischief/
post was made up
>Take massive basketball sized shit
>Clog toilet
>have to plunge it
>Plunging for 20 mins
>I am victorious, some water mixed with shit, piss, and anal blood got into the floor
>Wipe it up with gf's mom's bath towel, then put it back on the rack
This woman brings out the worst in me.
>>24647002
D E V I R I S H U
>>24646341
ABSOLUTELY DEVILISH
bloxbloxbloxblox
>>24647002
absolute akagi
>go to the toilet at my job
>take my dump
>use all the toilet paper
>just let one sheet exceed the distributor
>study electricity
> stay later than all the other students
>get much farther than them in our wiring projects
>since i stay the latest i also go into their panels and remove wires from projects and fuses
>tfw a few motor controllers went bad due to had wiring
>tfw they will never know
>>24647739
>>study electricity
???
>>24645707
>Be protestant
>Spray "Tiocfaidh ar la" on random houses in East Belfast
>>24647756
Electrical construction. I stay later to finish todays projects and mischief
>>24646150
Stare them dead in the eyes while being alone yourself. Up the mystic factor. Bump into them on purpose without looking back
>Work in IT
>Customer brings in an iMac with a hard drive issue
>Fuck up and crack the glass display while taking it apart
>Boss has to pay $400 to replace it and I'll soon get to be a NEET again
Feels good man.
I'm considering turning the temperature knob on my (communal, i have flatmates) toaster late at night so that in the morning their toast is all black and shitty :^)
>>24645707
>Piss in the toilet
>use the big flush
>>24647896
What's the big flush?
>>24647854
What they get for owning a mac
>>24647934
Some toilets have two flush settings, one small flush for just urine, and one that uses more water for defacation.
>>24647896
F I E N D I S H
>work in retail
>they ask me if we have item x in storage
>'i'll go look for you'
>check my phone in storage for 2 mins
>come back
>'so sorry looks like we're all out of item x'
>never even checked if we had it
>>24648075
Literal cancer
>draw random trippy-looking faces
>write "Mohammed" above it
>give to Muslim kid
>random cock thread
>start making fun of cutfags and their little mutilated wee wee's
>ignore cutfags in denial circlejerks and their shitty arguments
>mfw some start to whine about how they hate their dicks and how much they hate their parents for it
>mfw they realize that they will never have sex nor can they properly enjoy masturbation
>mfw being a cutfag robot is literally the worst thing that can happen to you
>mfw cutfags on suicide watch again
When will they learn ?
>>24648293
>mischief thread
>try and derail into a cut vs uncut thread
no tendies for me tonight, i've been a bad boy. :^)
>>24645707
>got a job and stopped being a neet
>still make neet threads mocking wagekuks
>get free water at publix
>gets lemonade
mfw :)
>>24646970
Couldn't you just put a bowl at the side of the table then slide the glass off the side over the bowl?
>>24646341
I'll do this tomorrow, thanks anon
>>24645707
>bet my virginity to Chad
>lose bet
>don't give it up
>>24646166
this is why i always get the stuff that is at the very back
>>24648309
>cut vs uncut on r9k
There's no such thing. Being a robot takes away the only insignificant benefit cutfags from burgerland might actually have. They literally get to only have sex without washing their dicks beforehand, which is gross anyway. That's the only pro of circumcision.
How does muh aesthetic feel when you know you'll never get laid, faggots ?
I bet that shaft masturbation is really great. How about that sock masturbation ? Extreme pleasure guaranteed.
Man, I wish I could get friction burns during masturbation.
I never wanted to love my parents anyway.
The only mischief here was done to your dicks by doctors after you were born.
>>24648660
the whole dickcheese smegma thing is a myth, I find. maybe that's cause I mostly jack off in the shower.
>>24648754
I'm talking about the smell, actually. I've never seen smegma in my life, maybe because I actually wash my dick, unlike cutfags.
Of course, the smell only affects blowjobs which cutfags can barely feel anyway. There's literally no win for them.
>>24648842
>I, the uncutfag, know what cutfags feel
kek what
>>24646150
don't flush the toilet next time you take a dump
>>24646341
Also don't forget to unscrew the tops to salt and pepper shakers at restaurants.
Real classic mischief
>>24649095
I know what they can't feel, full pleasure from masturbation or sex.
>b-b-but I can still cum
As if cumming is the only enjoyable part.
>I never felt how it was to be uncut so I don't feel like I lost anything
>I had my eyes removed at birth, so I'm not mad, I don't remember seeing anything anyway
This shit gets even better when it was done because "women like it that way". Mutilated for HER pleasure, this is literally the ultimate level of being kucked.
>violate every inb4
Thread died, cutfags killed themselves.
Time to leave this thread like doctors left the best part of your dicks in the garbage bin.
Well, not really, they were actually used to make facial cream FOR WOMEN, but nevermind, that might be too much for you to handle.
>>24649376
But how would you know this?
>>24649577
>>24649376
also le same person meme?
>>24646341
How the fuck? Is this what power you get when you become a wizard?
>sign says no loitering
>Throw trash on the ground and run away
>>24649636
>How do you know that removing the part of your dick responsible for the most amount of pleasure reduces pleasure ?
>How do you know that a glans that becomes keratinized in order to protect itself from constantly rubbing on clothes is less sensitive to soft touch ?
This isn't even fun, you're just being retarded, go read a study or some anecdotes, you stupid nigger.
>about to have sex with a robot
>sees my glorious innie bagina
>"you're my first, anon. be gentle"
>actually had sex with 15 other guys
>had plastic surgery to get rid of my meat locker
>he was so shitty at sex I had to tell him where my clit was and how to pleasure it
>>24645707
>Go to chipotle
>Do the chipotle hack and get 2x volume of food
>ask for water cup
>fill it with whatever soda you want
#thesystemhasbeencracked
>>24649124
I will literally find you and beat the hell out of you and stick your head in the shit you left for me. U motherfucker
>>24649218
You evil bastard you
>>24648754
I get it sometimes, it's miserable but the pain actually enhances the ejeculation slightly
Idk it is gross to clean though, so cutfags win that point at least. Less effort to clean your cocksleeve.
>go to the gym after not washing for a month straight
>rub my sweaty balls and ass on all of the machines
>wipe none of them down
>go into burger king
>order a large coke
>you can refill it a the machine
>refill it with diet coke instead
absolutely sinful
>>24645707
>2.6 grade in a subject
>normie friend talks to the teacher for me
>pass with 3.0
>be grateful for normie friend and teacher's kindness
>talk shit about normies the very same day on the internet
>masturbate to the thought of other normies failing the same subject
I do this long con irl by the way
>got finances together
>bought new car and place
>Merc E63
>drive around in old ghetto neighbourhood
>only pickup ugly girls with low self esteem
>date them and make em feel special
>make sure everybody sees this
>their egos inflate
>drop em like a hot potato back into their ghetto
>their ego is high but nobody bothers with them either way
>find new target
>rev it up!
it's a long con that takes time and effort but well worth it
>inb4 emotionally damaged
>can do a perfect Bill Clinton impression
>show my friend
>he laughs and calls a few other people over to come listen
>I play dumb
>"uhhh, what impression?"
>"y-you know, the impression you just did"
>"are you okay man? Why did you bring all these people over? are you sure you were listening because I don't remember doing a clinton impression or anything of the sort"
>everyone laughs at him and leave
>he gets angry and asks me why I threw him under the bus
>"what are you talking about? I don't understand why you're so angry? are you sure It was an impression and not just my regular voice?"
>he throws his lunch off of the table and storms away
>never hang out with him again
>7 years later I see him at a supermarket
>walk past him and mutter something in the bill clinton voice as I walk past before disappearing into the crowd
>mfw I've never done the impression since
>>24648439
Shrewd desu
>be me
>have 2 potatoes
>go to a mall parking lot
>wait for a stacy to show up and leave her car
>wait for her to go inside
>take the potatoes over to her car and shove both of them into the exhaust pipe as far as I can
>>24648559
this is why I always shake the boxes at the very back
>>24651655
haha I did the same thing once but used dynamite sticks instead
>match with girl on tinder
>she says Hi
>delete her immediately
