/britfeel/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Another Saturday spent drinking alone and shitposting edition
i got your back
>>24593382
First for Paige
Now I don't have to make one. Thanks senpai, you're a real hero.
I got sanctioned a while ago, signed up for hardship but they couldn't gimme it for 2 weeks
now I'm starting some 6 week training course thing, 40 quid a week lol
thing is, I got put on PeoplePlus (shit heads) by the Job Centre, so do I still need to do PPlus stuff if I'm not claiming hardship?
post some slags lads
>>24593410
thanks b/ro i'd have yous the same
>>24593456
I got yo back
reminder this chart will not go away :^)
>>24593473
not the kind of slag i was hoping for
>>24593456
right heeeeeeah1
>>24593488
Is this any better?
>>24593486
I'm not sure its such a big deal desu senpai, mine is small but I'm okay with it.
Although to be fair, I don't think Im ever going to sleep with a girl so w/e
>>24593490
that's what i was looking for, girl on the left makes my dick hard as diamonds
>>24593486
who cares its like im going to have sex without paying for it
>>24593528
na m8, looking for chavvy, thick (both senses of the word) slags see >>24593490
just end iy ad
>>24593553
How about this one then ?
>>24593486
Most girls' vaginas aren't even big enough to take a 8x6.5 dick. That's cartoonishly huge and probably in the top 5% of dick size. That 11 inches is still "enjoyable" on the chart is telling. A guy with a big that dick is only an inch away from being able to claim his world record, and would only be able to get like half his penis in on the average woman's vagina, nevermind fucking 11x7.25
>>24593587
na not slaggy enough for me, i like the "i'm experienced with dicks" look
>>24593587
is there such thing as a qt slag? or are the two mutually exclusive?
>>24593473
Weird ears/10 would piss on for a bet
>>24593553
hows this one ere
Gonna spend all night playing black ops zombies
Wbu?
>>24593651
yeah that's more like it lad. she's fine, great ass
>>24593629
You're too picky, fuck you. I'm just gonna post what I like instead
>>24593641
Slags are hot, qts are cute. SIgnificant overlap would probably get you a career as a supermodel.
>>24593624
sound like your a bit jelly shorty
>>24593694
Jesus fuck, how horrifying.
>almost whole year's gone by where I didn't do jack shit
all I did was get my own house with my brother
wasted all my dole money on useless shit
>>24593678
Playing hearthstone until I fall unconscious probably.
Used to really like zombies desu. Not sure how much its changed since I was playing it though.
>British '''''''women''''''''
>>24593641
?
I hate how much I love you robot
>>24593722
>implying bitches don't love my negative-size man-meat
Most have sex with me for the sheer novelty tbqhwyf
>>24593624
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-with-worlds-largest-penis-weighs-it-to-prove-its-real-10489473.html
apparently its 19 inches but that video isn't proof why does he have some shit wrapped around it
i'm okay with jamal claming these things
does anyone else watch twitch streams to feel less lonely?
>>24593783
To protect it from the elements.
>>24593803
Nah, I just use ASMR.
>>24593803
No that's what I'm here for.
>>24593746
1>2>8>3>6>4>7>5
possible shit taste ^
>>24593803
yep, all the time
>>24593798
still, wouldnt you like to fuck one just because? its pure lust, but id love to just do what i want with a dumb skank like one of these
>>24593798
Why do I get turned on by trashy 16 year old british girls so much?
>>24593852
Not gonna lie, I sure would. Then feel ashamed of myself afterwards.
>>24593820
this bitch is fine, reminds me of that asian slag with great legs that gets posted here sporadically
>>24593678
Staying up to do uni work~
Then going to catch up on airing anime.
Not going to be fun desu.
Nodding on oxy sinking tins of kroneny
Hopefully I'll OD tonight lads
>>24593856
Because you're a heterosexual male / homosexual woman / bisexual whatever?
>>24593382
so am i op.
>>24593953
That one on the far left might have down syndrome.
>>24593798
One on left is ight, other 2 are doggin
>>24593948
kek, going to do the same mate. Too much work on, reckon I should get a decent amount done if I start now, but I won't start till after midnight.
excited that this time next week ill be playing xenoblade chronicles x
>>24593891
ive had a few on omegle do whatever i say but its not the same, obviously. hearing them just say 'oh my gaaawwwd' over and over again because theyre so braindead is actually quite a turn on. you could do literally whatever the fuck you wanted.
http://youngslagsx.tumblr.com/
http://morefilthybritishsluts.tumblr.com/
some sites you may enjoy lads
http://brit-slags.tumblr.com/
http://dirtybritishchavs.tumblr.com/
>>24593953
this photo looks very old
>>24594021
>he fell for it
>he bought the butchered western version of the game
feel bad for you
>>24594039
Which means they're all legal to shag now
>>24593382
Laptop wouldn't load so i punched it and smashed the shit out of it with a 5kilo weight - it wont bother me again at least. Posting on my work phone. Don't give a shit senpai.
>full time mummy
>>24594076
second from the left looks like a british slag version of meadow from the sopranos
>>24594076
UK's finest right there
is anyone here a security guard?
it's the only job I want to do, I know I need an SIA license but is it really as easy as that?
I've never had a job before, 19 years old
any advice would be good
>>24594118
2spooky tbqh
>>24594078
Fuck the jakes
>>24594135
Are you prepared to spark a cunt out?
>>24594076
and just think. they're each gonna have like 2 kids, who will be even more retarded
>>24594135
Its easy, pay is shit though and you prob be working some fuckery like rotating shifts
Better than NEET tho
>>24594164
Stupidception
>tfw no Alexa Chung gf
>>24594076
Bitch on far left looks like she's strung out on smack or suttin
>>24594196
>being attracted to chinks
No
>>24594118
Changed my occupation to full time mummy on Facebook's while ago, got so much hate haha
>>24594222
>White/Asian mix
>Not GOAT
Your tastes are objectively S H I T
>>24594189
pahaha oh dear
seeing chav single mothers softens the blow of not fucking any of these slag types before i went to uni and ended up with a few fatties
Who /waitingforgypsywarrior/ here?
Should be a good fight
>>24594196
but she's so skinny
>>24594182
Not him, but can a manlet get a job as one?
>>24594222
hey fuck you m8, my waifu is a chink
>>24594272
No problems with Asians but Chung is rough senpai
>>24594118
>self-employed
>>24594298
Probably, depends on what the premises are and what you're protecting mate
>>24594298
Sure, dollhouses need security guards as much as anywhere
How old is "too old" for an internship? 25?
>>24594362
18
Apprenticeships are for kids too thick to finish A Levels
>>24594362
Yeah 25-26 probs cut off imo
>>24594370
Some jobs you can't learn in school mate, plus if you're a bit older you're seen as a bit more reliable
>>24594370
Internships aren't the same thing as apprenticeships, senpai
>>24593744
Me neither, I only have black ops 1.
Apparently black ops 3 is basically halo but I'm not sure what the zombies is like.
>tfw discovered the joy of drinking alone
Feels good to be able to enjoy things again.
>>24594431
black ops was the last good cod lad
>>24594381
>>24594412
They won't want adults as they have to pay you more and they get lest free money form the government, plus they can't treat as badly and you might leave after a bit for a real job as an adult.
Apprenticeship stuff has basically tuned a lot of entry level jobs into slightly more absolute shit unpaid jobs
>>24594455
Welcome to the club mate, may alcoholism consume your every waking moment
>>24594362
i've heard about people doing internships in their 30s.
>>24594455
That'll fade soon enough
>>24594455
it's good init m9
I really wish I had a younger sibling I could take to the park and mentor how not to be a robot and shit.
Does anyone watch 'can't pay we'll take it away' notice how they are all immigrants?
I start my job on Monday. I feel like my life has ended, I've just been drinking for the past week and have been really depressed since I found out.
>>24594485
cod4 > mw2 > black ops 2 > mw3 > black ops > waw imo
advanced warfare and ghosts were abject. jury is still out on blops 3
>>24594531
My younger siblings are a drug addict with a kid who I'm pretty sure I found on adultwork once and a soldier.
You couldn't keep your own life together, you couldn't be trusted with others.
>>24594539
saw it a few times, dumbshit mums watch it and scare themselves
I love how most of them have way too many kids
>>24594531
I could call you Senpai or oniichan and got to the park with you if you like?
>>24594542
What's the job famalan?
>>24594359
You're a funny guy arent ya
>>24594485
Black Ops 2 was good too. Blops 1 is the GOAT though
Are we being invaded by Americans? I sense a lot of yankee doodles are in this thread.
Get your own feels, yanks.
>tfw no lydia graham gf
https://vimeo.com/87982998
>>24594488
Do you live in the real world mate?
Yes your chances are less but its not impossible
Its all about how you present yourself in an interview
>>24594493
here here
>>24594499
I hope not it's great so far
>>24594520
ye, thanks for the (you)s everyone
>>24594651
what do you expect, we are like one of the only solid generals here for feels, we were bound to be invaded
>>24594531
Ex drug addict here, I'm doing the same sorta shit with my nephew
Its a good feel
>>24594618
didn't buy blops 2, last cod i bought was mw3. blops 2 did look fun though, played it a few times. i prefer it when cod was simple. express on blops 1 was my favourite game mode, perfect cod imo
>>24594298
how tall are you? just wear some lifts or shoes with a big heel if you're 5'10-5'11, there's no reason to not be taller in that job
>>24594677
>I hope not it's great so far
Once you start doing it even though you know you shouldn't, and don't really want to but do because it beats being alone and sober, it's all down hill
>>24594651
>>24594680
Its all good with me, along as you're not an arrogant prick every nationality is welcome
>>24594670
You probably won't get an interview, they will be a lot of competition for the apprenticeships that aren't sandwich making and there will perfectly viable young candidates that they will prefer to hire.
>>24594704
>mw3
God that game was fucking shit. Never bought another CoD again after that, took blops 2 from my brother. I miss the simple times too. All this jumping around parkour stuff doesn't appeal to me.
>>24594724
>trying to save your fellow human from a path of inevitable destruction
You are a good man
>>24594720
Like 171cm. 5'7''
>>24594747
That's not true at all mate
>>24594736
no wonder the pakis invaded england so easily
>>24594724
I'll keep that in mind, though technically I'm already at that point. Wise words.
the fact that i still cant find a job/career at 26 depresses the hell out of me
>>24594783
yeah just wear lifts or a shoe with a heel
I'm 5'11 and the guards I see in my shopping centre are small as fuck, I was a good 4 or 5 inches taller than a lot of them
in my local job centre there's a 5'4 woman who's like 40 and she's a security guard
>>24594812
Great post lad, thanks for your input
>>24594651
belgium here
can I feel with you lads?
>>24594843
i will will never have a career...
>>24594847
Make up some bullshit about you being trained in some sort of martial arts, you'll be sound
>>24594860
Same
>tfw I will just work dead end jobs until I get my inheritance, which might just be enough to last for the rest of my life
>>24594852
Of course mate, everyone is welcome
>>24594651
britfeel is the only place left for feeling in r9k now.
>>24594852
well, you do have some really great beer in Belgium...but i dunno.
>>24594852
Belgium's not a real country so I guess you can be British if you want
>>24594800
It is in my experience I never got anything back from any of the apprenticeships I applied for but did get a real job in the same departments of one I applied for
>>24594929
I'm only joking m8. I like Americans.
what did you guys have for dinner
depressing fish finger sandwich here, lots of sauce
>>24594968
Luck of the draw mate, I agree its less likely but far from impossible
>>24594915
My parents are spending my inheritance on multiple foreign holidays every year and other dumb shit
>>24594991
eating a pizza now
>>24594991
Cooked myself some chilli con carne
Was peng cuz
>>24595007
The main bulk of my inheritance will be property that I intend to sell
>>24594991
>dinner
I snack while I get drunk, meals are just unnecessary calries
>>24594991
I had frozen pizza, would have loved some fish fingers.
>>24595007
Just let them enjoy their life, be happy for them
i wish i had a japanese friend
>>24594991
sheep potato & parsnip stew, was pretty good
>>24594944
>>24594929
>>24594917
thanks
>>24595067
In Britain we call sheep mutton
Just trying to help you fit in lad
>>24594991
Microwave Thai red curry from
TESCO
E
S
C
O
>>24595022
My parents seem to have bought the only house in the uk that hasn't gone up in value and is probably unsalable
>>24595039
If they weren't such bad parents in other areas and kept trying to make me feel bad that I'm not rich successful like people they know kids (which all got to be that way with help from family) I wouldn't mind them spending it.
Oh and of course they will expect me to look after them once the money is all gone
>>24595098
mutton is a french word
>>24594991
chicken nuggets
garlic mushrooms
potato wedges
sweetcorn
all straight out the freezer lad
>>24595099
tesco curries are proper good
fucking nightmare to peel the plastic off though
>>24594298
We used to have securicor guys come overnight to guard the shop I worked in.
It was a 50-50 mix. Half were arsehole wannabe hardmen looking for the power and authority they thought the job would bring them.......you know the type, they were all MMA experts, mates in the SAS and shite like that and the second lot were a mix of manlets, skeletons, fatties and grandads just looking for a quiet 12 hours nightime work and an ok paycheck at the end of the month.
The second lot were sound to deql with, the first were always, without fail, insuferable cunts. One plum even brought his own gun with him....mate, its a DIY shop in Scotland, not a fucking diamond merchant in Detroit. We called the cops on him because he was a fucking psycho.
Apparently it was a lot of last minute work, not knowing where you would be working that evening until the last minute, but otherwise easy enough. Company policy is for absolutely no heroics, no provocation and no physical conflict....call the cops and observe. They were just there as a visible deterrant.
>>24595101
Yeah I mean I don't know your situation and how you were brought up
But you're not entitled to their money that they worked hard to earn
But that's life mate, just be happy they're still alive, some people don't even have that
>>24595121
And?
No one says "I eat sheep" its lamb or mutton
If we inherited that from the French then so be it
>>24595146
That all sounds like it would suit me fine desu. I can't fight worth shit anyway so I'm not the type to try and be the big man.
>>24595191
Sheep have calves, not lambs
Cannot for the life of me get the WWE network to play
So angry
>>24595208
m8 no
>>24595208
Quit trolling mate, I wouldn't mind if you were funny
i wish i was born in 1964 so i could've experience the 80's in the prime of my life
>>24595249
>>24595252
But lamb and mutton are from goats, so do we not eat sheep?
>>24595157
Parents have an obligation to their children much more than the other way around they selfishly had kids they didn't raise properly and now try to make me feel bad for things that they caused.
They want to feel fulfilled by what I do despite holding me back, they don't take any responsibility for the failings they built into me and want to be proud of anything good even though it was done despite them.
In a pub full of normies, this is awful I want to be at home playing video games.
>>24595101
Yeah mine too, actually. Bought this place for 180k, now it's worth...180k
>>24595157
>parents choose to bring life into world
They're responsible for it until they die.
>>24595265
No pls don't do this to yourself
>>24595265
Here's a (you) my man
>>24595295
>>24595302
what are you on about, I joined this convo half way through
>>24595203
2bh I quite fancy it myself too... Nightshift guarding, specifically. I dont fancy being a mall cop or anything like that but these guys doing the night watch had it easy, just sitting in the store passing time until morning. Do a quick tour round the place once an hour and sit on your arse the rest of the time. I would bet a lot of them just got comfy in the staff break room and went to sleep for most of the night.
>>24595245
But anon, all that great content for just 9.99 a month!:^)
>>24595324
>not buying a cracked account for much, much cheaper :^)
>>24595266
Like I said, don't know your situation just giving an opinion based on your brief description
I'm sure you have your reasons
>>24595287
Lawfully no, morally yes, but I never implied they weren't
>>24595130
I think it depends on the variety. As far as I can tell the film peels off the tikka masala one fine, but lamb rogan josh is always a nightmare to get into. If you look on the film it is actually printed "please cut open to serve", I wonder if it's a problem with their glue formulation. I mean, obviously they recognise it's non-peelable because they print that on the film.
There's also a possibility it varies from batch to batch, I think the Coop microwave curries vary between peeling off easily and not at all.
>>24595098
Didn't know that, thanks, I thought it was weird when I posted it, never heard anyone say sheep stew and Belgian tv is 90% british chefs and 10% quizzes for old people
>>24595323
Shouldn't the night shift logically be the more dangerous one? Or is it different on Airstrip One due to your surveillance?
Coudl really use a walk, lads. Might head out to the shop. Rainy nighttime walks are maximum comfy.
>>24595391
what will you get at the shop
>>24595383
Yeah TV ain't much better here mate, barely watch it 2bh
Lads, can you tell me the joke I made at work today was funny and that I am not unfunny?
>Pair of old normies talking about vidya
>One of them tells the other that his favourite game was Punch Out
>I loudly say "My favourite game is Punch Out too!"
>wait a few seconds
>then loudly shout "WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING"
>They don't laugh, look at each other, then keep talking
>heard people laughing at me all day
It was a joke on punch out sounding like pun shout so I shouted a pun
I went down the off license in my boots and lifts and everyone I passed was still taller than me except this one woman. I also think the women at the off license has a nickname for me, I overheard her say that the 'hooded koala' had come in, I was the only customer in the shop and had my hood up.
>>24595506
You tried anon, and that's what matters.
>>24595485
>>24595485
3 litres of evian as it's only a quid for 1.5l. Might get some peanuts too, or maybe even ice cream.
>>24595536
why would you have your hood up in the shop?
>>24595389
Depends on the place you qre guarding I suppose. This was a DIY shop so just the occasional crack-head trying to break in and steal a handfull of stuff to sell for his next fix. The visual presence of the guards was enough to put them off.
Speaking to the guys, that was 99 percent of their jobs....shops, warehouses and building sites. The higher risk stuff like cash depots had specialist guards on the job.
>>24595536
Sounds pretty shitty, mate. I know how it feels to be a manlet. Truly awful.
>>24595506
that is not good, Anon
that's really bad I'm sorry
>>24595558
I had it up outside because its cold and I just didn't take it down in the shop, I was going to only be in there a couple of minutes and its not a church.
>>24595548
sounds nice anon
i was muted for 16 seconds because my comment was not original
>>24595506
Puns don't work on person unless they're very obvious or you explicitly are going to tell a joke.
>>24595536
height?
stop fucking muting me
downloading the grand theft auto vice city soundtrack, some top notch bangers on it lads
>>24595548
why evian though m8?
>>24595665
It's the only brand in the shop besides riverrock that is so cheap, and riverrock taste like shite. Like melted plastic.
>>24595651
I'm 5'6 ish, I got up to 5'8 in my boots/lifts
>>24595506
I don't get it either mate
But fuck what other people think, sooner you realise that, the happier you will be
>>24595695
Are lifts comfortable? I'd really like a few inches extra myself.
>>24595662
Fav Station?
>>24595662
was listening to act like you know just an hour ago, remembering driving around with that 80's music blaring, beating people up with a golf club makes me realize I had a pretty good childhood after all
>>24595613
strange desu
>>24595662
Yeah mate
Some proper bangers
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ELpmmeT69cE
>>24595721
Not him but wave103
>200 quid to last me till next month
>finally have a gf
>have to buy christmas presents for family
I dont think I'm going to be able to do it lads
>>24595799
>200 quid to last me till next month
That's 2 days
>>24595720
No not at all really at first its cool because you feel taller and just going round the house in them was awesome, everything fit better in them too like even sitting on the toilet or in my office chair my feet could be properly on the ground and comfortable. And the height of things in the kitchen felt better.
Walking in them felt a bit precarious I was quit conscious I might seem weird and they slipped a few times making me take an odd step. The main problems is I doubt I could do a run or walk very quickly if I needed too.
My ankles ache a little walking now I've taken them off too.
It might all be worth it I wasn't still a fucking manlet in them.
>>24595721
difficult question, either fever 105 or emotion 98.3
>>24595722
could've been worse
>>24595759
yes
>>24595843
He would a been paid on Friday (if he's employed)
Assume he means til end december now
>>24595843
Meant a month from now
anyone /MDE/ here?
I wanna shoot the shit with someone
Remember that guy who started uni in September who went about 6 weeks without speaking to his flatmates?
Does anyone know how he's getting on? Still not spoken?
>>24595917
who gives a shit la
>>24595917
Pretty sure he eventually became a normie and abandoned us
>>24595917
He spoke to two of them then stopped posting I think
>>24595917
assimilated and normielised himself
>>24595917
He talked to them after like 2 weeks and now is mates with them
What are you drinking tonight lads?
pic related, I even got some of the cheese that the abbey makes to go with it
ive really stopped caring about anything.
im going to keep drinking like a fucking fish until i have a brain hemerage.
>>24596015
Addicted to this shit
>>24596015
whole milk, just like every other day
might as well be a Muslim, I never touch alcohol
>>24596015
nothing tonight, still have the remnants of a powerful cold. i have a week off from work next week, so will probably get drunk tomorrow or monday/tuesday
>>24596015
8 cans of red stripe lad
Whoever mentioned Vice City Soundtracks is a fucking boss, 99 luftballoons has brought it all back.
>>24595208
They have hocks not calves.
Who /klitschkovsfury/ here?
>>24596084
that would be me, i'm a boss lad. currently getting down to this. is this funk or disco? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOaxEa5ONJw
superb album cover, great hair
>>24595271
So leave?
>>24596132
guy on the far right, his beard haha
>>24596132
more disco than funk to me, I like it
>on the bus yesterday
>sit on the top row, at the back by myself
>start rehearsing TDKR plane scene
>saying it quietly and getting it right every time from start to finish
>keep doing it so I make sure I got it perfect
>lasted a good 15 minutes
life
>>24596132
Funk
>>24595383
Who's your favourite TV chef?
>>24594222
Lads you're not going to believe me but I know 2/3 of these girls! They're about 15 on here but I got the insta and they're all 18
>>24596203
keith floyd or nuffin lad
>>24596193
funny story, made me chuckle
>>24596193
You're a strange guy
>>24596193
Sometimes this is all that gets me through a hard day
>>24594298
I'm 5'8" 130lbs and I spent 2 years working as a security guard here in the US. No one gave a shit how small I was. It's not like you're actually going to do anything exciting.
>>24596203
I dislike most of them. I like Jamie Oliver's food though, but there's always that one ingredient you can't get at your local shops.. yours?
>>24596193
do you ever banepost out loud irl?
>>24596217
You're right, I do't believe you
>>24596193
Dr Pavel, I'm CIA
>[original comment]
>>24596259
He wasn't aIone
>>24596226
Four Us
>>24596258
Here is the lass in black shorts
>>24596246
if I can yeah, the easiest to fit in is 'he didn't ___ so good' from my experience
>>24596267
uh, you don't get to bring friends
>>24595963
>>24595964
>>24595978
>>24596001
fucking normie cunt, cheers lads
>>24596223
Floyd was boss - the guy was permanantly drunk on the show.
>>24596299
They're not my friends
>gfgfdghfhghfhfsghfsgfg
>>24596299
I've squeezed in a few 'for you's in my time. Even got my ex into it.
>>24596111
Yea man, wtf is going on with the torture garden rejects doing the national anthem?
>>24596193
I was talking to some colleagues in my lab about the work of Professor Colin Bain, and one of them mentioned he was a "big guy" in his field, and they didn't know why I was losing my shit.
>>24596366
YOU MISSED A LINE ASSHOLE
>>24596223
>>24596246
Keith Floyd inspired me to be a drunken chef, should hate him for the addled sack I've become but fuck it, he's entertaining.
>>24596324
word, set the precedent for celebrity/tv chef. what a guy
>>24596383
nicee
>>24596366
you missed [don't worry, no charge for them]
continued
they were trying to grab your prize
they work for the mercenary... the mosquito man
>>24596394
oh shit I was going off memory, I shall delete
>>24596383
I can't help but giggle anytime I hear anything even remotely sounding like a line from that scene.
>>24596416
b-b-b-b-BANE?!
I listened to the maketta man song a bunch of times, it's how I remember it.
