/r9k/, Femanon here. I was talking with some friends, they said this would be a good place to ask/confirm some things.
So I have this friend, right? Met him a while ago at the library. We were in line together, I was bored, and so I just struck up a conversation. Gave him my number, we've been talking and hanging out ever since. Well yesterday he asked me out, and I declined. He's a cool person, but I'm busy with my life right now, not looking to date, and I have a policy of not dating friends. ( The social circle issues during a break up are hell. Never again. ) He kind of got upset with me. Now he won't talk with me.
So I asked my older brother for advice or insight via email. Mostly I wanted to know why guys do this. Convo went like:
> How many times do you get hit on or approached by men?
> It's a fair bit, right? You're decent looking.
> Well, imagine no man ever approached you.
> Ever.
> At all.
> It's entirely possible, even for average looking and decent men to never be approached by women in any significant way.
> Men adapt to this by using the shotgun method, or persistence method.
> In one scenario you hit on so many girls eventually one says yes, or you pursue one so intently she eventually gives in.
> Because not all men are so good looking or so outgoing that they can play the field the way a woman does.
> This leads to a lot of rejection. Men are good at this mostly. We're taught life hates us from a young age.
> Better get a good paying job.
> Better be able to support a family.
> Man the fuck up.
> I'm not complaining either. Reality is shit. If anything women should be held to the same standards. If you aren't strong enough to stand on your own you need to fall.
> Sometimes though this rejection isn't nice.
> Men may reject women for any number of reasons. Perhaps they don't find you attractive. Perhaps they don't like you. Perhaps they think you are a bad match, or think your actions have shown you to be irresponsible.
>>24586825
> But one thing a woman will almost never hear, is that she is too poor to be loved by a man.
> That even asking was a tragic joke.
> That he was arrogant for even trying or hoping.
> Few women will ever hear " We're just friends" in the way men do.
> When women say this, they rarely mean that they are just friends.
> They imply they've never even considered it.
> Your male friends have considered it. Every man you know has thought about what you look like naked.
> Every one of them.
> But the way women say it is dismissive. As though the man is not a sexual creature. You deny them even their sexuality.
> You say it as though someone had thought you might be with a statue.
> Essentially, men read too far into things because they cannot fathom a reason for your attention outside of a sexual or financial interest.
> They cannot wrap their minds around a woman acting like a normal human being who happens to have a male friend.
> Because literally no woman has ever treated them that way, aside from maybe a mother or sister.
> And when you reject them, they become angry.
> Not because they are entitled, but because they feel you toyed with them.
> Because they feel that you are mocking them, saying that their attempt was arrogant and preposterous.
> As though it were the same as a beggar trying to seduce a goddess.
> And that he isn't worth the dust on your feet.
> Just another woman mocking his humanity and feelings.
> Just another noble laughing at a pleb.
> Just like every woman he's been interested in since middle school.
Honestly, I don't really believe this, and think he's being melodramatic. He's married with 3 kids. He's not in a position to talk about downtrodden men. Further, this doesn't work because I never once in this friendship implied any sort of sexual interest at all. So I talked with some other guy friends, and a few suggested I come by here and ask for your opinions.
So tell me, what do you guys think?
SISTER GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
What the fuck is this thread even about?
>Treat female like a friend
>She try to walk all over you, be condescending
>Treat her like shit
>She now respect you
I really tried to have female friend, they just don't understand what friendship is about.
>>24586825
FUCK YOU STACY YOU FUCKING BITCH GET OUT AND STAY OUT YOU FUCKING NORMIE BITCH
>>24586880
THIS GUY KNOWS
>>24587022
>>24586880
Stacy? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
>>24587055
first day in /R9K/? welcome to hell. leave before its too late.
>>24587055
It means your bother knows more then you ever will and you should kill yourself
>>24586825
Amiga, you might want to go to
>>/adv/>>>
>>24586825
>>24586834
Your brother is absolutely right about those things, you have no idea what it's like for men to date. That fact that it seems strange and melodramatic to you shows how out of touch you are with how men feel.
It may not seem like it, but you have incredible power over men. I think your brother is just trying to make you mindful of this.
>>24587115
Oh please. I'm tired of this. My entire life adults say shit like this, "you'll understand when you're older" and whatnot.
I'm twenty fucking one. I might not be very old but I'm old enough to know my brother has a happy marriage and has likely never had issues with women for him to spout shit like this at the top of his head.
>>24587167
And the fact that your brother is married just means he's been persistent and charming enough to get someone to stay with him. Women don't worry like men about how to make sure their partner stays with them, and they only do if the man is attractive or very desirable.
>>24587171
>never had issues with women
i bet his marriage is one big problem with a woman and the only reason he hasn't divorced her is cause the pussy game ridiculous.
>>24587171
It's not about having "issues" with women. His point is that this is just the standard environment for men, something that ALL men face (well, except for the top-tier attractive men, and even those face rejection commonly).
IS the question why do guys get upset / stop talking to ya when you reject them?
Youre not looking for a date, theyre not looking for a friend probably.
For example im not looking for a friend, im looking for a relationship. And by now everyones familiar with the " dont date your own friends" policy, so i just avoid being a friend. Thats the way i see it anyway.
This only shows you know nothing of what it is to be male.
>>24587171
Alright, serious response here. You brother obviously didn't care about the fact you asked him for advice, and instead took this as an opportunity to rant on women, and on him and every other men's "plight" to you. Don't think about it too much, forget about that guy if he doesn't deem you worthy outside of your pussy, and move on.
>>24587171
>my brother has a happy marriage and has likely never had issues with women for him to spout shit like this at the top of his head.
Doesn't that validate him? He's competent enough to maintain a happy marriage which is a rarity in this day and age. I'd presume he knows his wife quite intimately and has resultingly learned a lot about female romantic perspective. What are you gonna do with this information anyway? Tell his wife? Contact your "friend". Whine about it on the Internet? Cause /r9k/ is all about the latter.
>>24587240
Roughly 50% of the population are men, roughly 50% women.
It's been this way for a long, long while.
Unless you are going to argue that the majority of men never get laid, reproduce, or settle down, you can't be serious.
Women are human. This idea that they are only willing to be with the top tier is ridiculous. If that were the case, and you were right, only the top tier of 20% or so men would ever marry, date, reproduce, and so on.
Truth is, if this were the case, I have a feeling the disgruntled 80% of men would burn the world to the ground. Men who are restless, or have poor economic/social circumstances, have historically been bad for any country, ever. It usually ends in bloodshed.
There have been no pussy revolutions in recorded history. Men have never wanted for women to fuck.
Wow did your brother greentext that whole email for you?
2/10
>>24587171
adults say that because you're not mentally developed enough to understand it Stacy. now get off this board
>>24587330
There was a lot of unnecessary detail and back/forth in our original emails. I summarized it for the thread.
>>24586825
FEMANON BTFO
Seminar are much more romantic and emotional than men. Men are straight forward and logical. A man will not act like a wemon around a man unless they're gay. If a man told another man he loved him they would both take it seriously. In my experience wemon just throw shot like that around. I love you, you're so cute, I miss you, then a man he's led on and attached. He then falls flat on his face when she starts dating chad.
>>24587323
>It's been this way for a long, long while.
No shit. It's time OP actually realizes it.
>This idea that they are only willing to be with the top tier is ridiculous
Where did I say that? I said the only men who don't face constant rejection are top tier men, and even then they do still get shot down. The average man has to constantly deal with having his self-esteem destroyed unless he learns that "life hates them" and they don't inherently deserve affection, as the brother put it.
>If that were the case, and you were right, only the top tier of 20% or so men would ever marry, date, reproduce, and so on.
Once again, I never said any of this. The top 20% are those who don't face this environment (or face it to a lesser degree), compared to the average woman who never faces this. Also, a much, much larger proportion of men don't procreate compared to women, fucking google it. The dating population is skewed so that women tend to date up, men tend to date down.
>Men have never wanted for women to fuck.
Uh... are you serious?
>>24587330
If it was via email then the system itself would do it. Emails and usenet were where greentext came from you moron.
>he thinks the maymay arrow actually originated from chans
>>24586825
Your friend is smart. He's cutting off contact with you which is something he should have done a long time ago. I hope Chad abuses and cheats on you, you really deserve it.
>>24586825
Tl;dr
But I did like the parts I did read.
>>24586825
TOO MANY FUCKING SHIT/FAKE FEMANON THREADS ON R9K. ROBOTS MUST SPAM ALL 'FEMANON' THREADS WITH TITS OR GTFO!!!!
>>24586825
Reveal your boosoms or exit the board.
>all those morons falling for the bait
>>24586825
Your brother has a point. But obviously take it with a pinch of salt. Isolate the important bits and ignore the melodrama/rethoric.
This part is totally true:
>Well, imagine no man ever approached you.
> Ever
This is reality for men and so many women don't even realize this fundamental fact. You have to understand your female privilege and you have to understand men better if you want to hope of ever become an empathetic person.
Regards
Another female
>>24586825
>>24586834
To make a long story short and without drama; He can't really take your personal life or policies into account when asking to date you as that's not something one can't work around and is mainly used as an excuse. I'm not saying you're using it as an excuse in your situation, but most women do because it's such an easy go-to solution.
But continuing, men have to generally spend a lot of time chasing women to get any modicum of affection, wheras women just exists and people start giving them affection out of nowhere. When you declined his proposal you told him that he is now a friend and you won't see him as any more. This simply ment that his affections were a wasted effort and he has to find someone else to throw his affection at in order to gain any return-affection.
He probably just doesn't talk to you as you've made it clear where you stand and he is busy chasing someone else or licking his wounds.
You could probably still be friends if you invited him out to do stuff with friends while making it clear that it's just a friend thing and nothing more.
Guys almost never get approached by women. When a woman does approach him he will probably think that she's romantically interested in him. Or just be so overwhelmed that someone gives a shit about him that he becomes interested in her. And since society expects men to ask women out, that's what he did.
What is so hard to understand?
>>24587323
Top 20% of men copulate with 100% women, single moms settle with beta providers.
>>24587840
She doesn't understand why he #1: Got upset that she rejected him after being flirtatious or just flat out friendly, and #2; doesn't give her any more attention.
>>24587903
I never expected "attention" from him, outside of what a friend would expect. Does being upset that a friend left you because of romantic feelings you were never a part of scream "attention whore" ?
Aside from the fact that he is smart, funny, and loves to cook (a shared hobby we had a lot of fun with), he's a good person. That was why I was friends with him. I wasn't friends with him so I could get attention when no one else was willing to give it.
>>24587627
>discussing things on a discussion board
ISHYDDT
>>24587945
Not that guy, i don't think you were being attention-whore. But probably the only reaso he hang out with you is so that one day you could be more than friends, that's why he tried so hard to be funny, smart, learned to cook just so you could have something in common. In reality you are probably a very boring person to be with and he was the one doing all the work. He probably hates cooking and your annoying ramblings. Guys make better friends with other guys because we don't have to pretend or scared that they won't like us anymore if we say or do something. With girls you actually like we put on our best facade, because girls are only good for sex.
>>24587945
If someone has generated feelings for you just saying "no" doesn't make then disappear you fucking roastie. You're now expecting him to still hang around you while he's still in love with you. But you don't understand that he has to endure the torture of you never reciprocating those feelings. Cutting you off and not talking to you or seeing you again is the only way to get rid of those feelings. He's angry because you've toyed with his emotions without even realising what you've done.
Males and females cannot be "just friends", if you are even moderately attractive chances are they want to stick their cock in you.
>>24587945
This guy again.
I never said attention whore, because frankly you're not. But I percieve your previous post as not understanding why he stopped contacting you and I tought that would be upsetting.
Nevertheless, If he had romantic intentions it's sorta painfull when they're not reciprocated so cutting you out is part of the healing process.
That's life. It sucks for both parts, but eventually you'll both get over it.
>>24588387
I just have a hard time understanding it. I understand people are different, but when I've broken up or been rejected I tried to stay friends. It doesn't always work out, but it feels worse to simply throw away everything your friendship was until that point.
>>24587459
My email doesnt do that. Why so angry neckbeard? You really want OP to be a girl don't you?
>>24588416
I guess the dynamics are just different for men and women.
>>24586825
All I can say is you're asking the wrong people. This community prides itself on it hatred for woman and even though they take pride in being outcasts and not in touch with the rest of society, they like to think they are experts on women and male/female relations.
Honestly, there's no absolute answer. It all depends on an invidiual guy you are talking about. Maybe he went through a lot of tough rejections and is just pissed of at everything, maybe for somehow you gave him reason to believe he stands a chance at being in relationship with you, etc. There is no universal answer, I don't know the guy so I can't really know what he's thinking/feeling.
>>24586825
When I have been away geographically from my real friends for a while and I want someone to hang out with (I'm a sucker for social interaction) then I usually get into a friendzone relationship because its so easy. Girls are starved for good friends so you really don't even have to do anything other than show up. Then later when my life changes so I can see my real friends I have completely forgotten about the interim friendzone friends. I wonder how many of those uggos thought I liked them romantically LOL.
>>24588451
>yfw I'm a girl myself
>>24586834
> Your male friends have considered it. Every man you know has thought about what you look like naked.
> Every one of them.
incorrect.
how do people even make statements like this.
>>24588416
Your friendship was built on him liking you. Now that he knows you won't ever like him that way there is no friendship. It's best for him to cut you out of your life because things will just get ugly after that if you two still hang around. If you really ever was his friend then just let him go.
>>24588725
Roastie out
>married 3 kids
Yeah, he's a fucking normie. You were wrong to have come here.
>>24587358
Bullshit.
Gtfo le tricky hook
>>24587999
Do you also watch meta fiction reality shows 'for the discussion' too faggot?
>>24586834
>>24586825
If you wanna know what I think then know that I'm fucking pissed. That is not the fucking way to use green arrows and the only thing you accomplished is to make it more convoluted than if you had just typed it out like a normal human being. I get the gyst of what you're asking but I don't fucking care by the end of that cluster fuck.
>>24587323
Instead of guessing, how about you look at the fucking scientific proof.
DNA analysis shows we all have twice as many unique female ancestors than unique male ancestors.
So the reality is, a select few men have reproduced whereas twice that many females have reproduced. It's basic math. Women have to invest more resources and risk into raising a child. It's the same nearly everywhere else in the animal kingdom. Women are literally programmed to be attracted only to Chad, whereas men are far more forgiving in terms of genetic survivability in a partner. Women will produce all sorts of whimsical mental gymnastics to justify their behaviours. The irony is, they don't even understand the most basic evolutionary principle behind their actions.
>have massive crush on grill
>says she doesn't want to date because it'll fuck shit up
>says when she's ready to date she wants it to be with a good friend
So now I'm just hanging around because of the possibility. I know that's pathetic but I really like this bitch. I feel like if I don't end up with her I won't end up with anyone. I generally hate people
I've gotten hand jobs from her and have cuddled/felt her up (everything) several times. Does that make it less pathetic?
>>24589083
>she doesn't want to date
>gives you handjob
wat?
>>24588996
http://www.psmag.com/nature-and-technology/17-to-1-reproductive-success
greetings fellow femanon.
i'm sorry sister but some times a guy will have 0 interest in your friendship if it isn't paving a road to your vagina.
>>24589109
Yeah our "relationship" gets a little steamy sometimes. We spend all of our free time together for the most part. I'm so confused
>>24589083
sorry dear it sounds like she's using you when she needs some body heat
>>24586834
it's realistic in a way. if a man was to become irate, then yes, they never thought of you as a friend. I can say i'm not the type, but only time could tell such a thing. For the overwhelming majority, i think your bro is pretty on the spot. that being said, even girls that I see as friends/companions without romance, i've thought about in the way he described.
This thread is making me p mad buds
>>24589135
clearly I am new here and don't get what the hell is even going on in this thread.
How is beeing with her for most of the free time, getting handjobs, cuddling, doing whatever not considered a relationship. What else do you want? to have sex?? and she is like: no we cannot have sex we are "just freinds". WAT WAT WAT
anon hit himself in confusion
>implying a woman wrote this
>>24586825
>I have a policy of not dating friends.
Then how the hell do you date? Once you start getting to know someone, you essentially start off as friends.
Do you just go out for one night stands and try to form a relationship from that?
Also your bro is right.
>>24588996
well then shouldnt the meme be "only the top 50% of men get pussy"? instead of the usual 5% or whatever you robots usually spout
>>24589215
that was back when monogamy was highly encouraged and anyone not doing it was ostracized as fuck.
>>24586834
Your brother pretty much hit the nail on the head
>>24589201
I bet I could fuck her if I really wanted to
the only reason men bother to interact with women is because of their vagina
>>24589366
This hits the mark.
Why talk to a normie chick (who has no interest in me) whose hobbies consist of watching Netflix and playing on her phone, when I can talk to my male friends who are just as into anime, music and vidya as I am?
>>24589648
What about ugly girls that don't attract you but share same interests as you and are kind? I have a few female friends who I'm really not at all attracted to, I spend my time with them exactly as I do with my male friends.
>>24587323
> There have been no pussy revolutions in recorded history.
Check again. That is how Roman civilization fell. Women started getting rights, marriage became a worse and worse option for men, alphas had harems while betas went without. All this caused economic collapse, because the majority of men saw no point in working harder than they need to support themselves.
>>24589728
>What about ugly girls that don't attract you but share same interests as you and are kind
The few I've met have been in relationships.
>>24589728
>What about ugly girls that don't attract you but share same interests as you and are kind?
Would date them but I cannot find them
I probably need to look in the art department at the local community college
>>24589728
They don't exist.
> woman
> interests
>>24589366
Oh yeah, I do that sometimes too. It's just that there are far more normie women than there are women who might have the same interests as you.
On the overhand, I feel like one's infinitely more likely to find men who have the same interests as them than women. And that goes for other women, too.
Plus, the few female friends that I DO have (that I'm not having sex with/haven't shown romantic interest towards) have all pretty much stopped talking/hanging out with me.
So pretty much, women are shitty at being people.
So much butthurt in this thread.
>>24590036
I meant to respond to
>>24589728
>>24589215
I think that's regarding casual sex, tinder and stuff. I couldn't give a shit about that specifically - that women looking for uncommited sex choose the physically best available, it's the idea of it replacing monogamous relationships that troubles most people around here.
>>24590259
Who? The guys? OP's brother is spot on about what males go through and OP is denying it.
>>24587288
You sjw nigger cunt faggot, the brother is 100% correct and the fact you dont realize it is indicative of the fact you lack empathy for the common man because you are a woman
>>24587945
It's better you're not friends any more. There's nothing worse than being romantically interested in someone and it's not reciprocated.
It will only ever be painful for him, it's best that he moves on.
>>24586825
>>24586834
>>24587171
>>24587288
>>24587323
>>24587945
>>24588542
>>24588725
>>24589215
>>24589764
Wtf is happening to this board? /pol/ was right, this is becoming a sjw kek stronghold. Fuck
> Your male friends have considered it. Every man you know has thought about what you look like naked.
> Every one of them.
is this really true??
>>24591397
No, but a lot of them did if you're good looking.
Are you OP?
>>24591460
not OP, just curious
>>24586825
>>24586834
Yeah, it sorta feels like this sometimes. If I had the choice Id definitely be a girl. Its also true, I've thought of all my female friends sexually. I've never pursued, but the thoughts been there, as I'm sure it is for all men. Were just wired with the constant desire to mate. So I can see a man being upset if he gets close but you don't want to date, because he probably saw you as a potential partner just for the fact you two got along well. also do feel a kind of standard set with being a man. Like I have to be tough and confident and have my shit together at all times. That email is dramatic, but comes from true feelings.
Also, r9k is a shitty place. Whoever said this was a good anything was fucking with you or retarded. This place is just full of people spiteful at the world.
>>24591256
Are you kidding? /r9k/ is the tightest hugbox on the internet. The whole basis of the board is for people to validate each others sadness.
>>24587323
>only the top tier of 20% or so men would ever marry, date, reproduce
increasingly, that's the way things are going. and yes, it is causing unrest. why do you think there are school shootings? or how do you think ISIS, white nationalists, etc can recruit so many people? the death of patriarchy has seriously destabilized everything
>>24591607
Are you shitting me? There's been a massive ideology clash between the new, liberal users and the old women haters for months.
>>24591460
>>24591397
actually, even if you're not good looking (though not if you're truly revolting). in fact, even your gay male friends if you have any probably consider it from time to time
>>24586825
Not dating a friend is bar nothing the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
All that tells me is that you have no idea how relationships work, my girlfriend was my best friend first.
If you only date people you're not friends with you'll just end up unhappy.
He's not right to betrayed, but you're still a dumb cunt. That reasoning is grotesque. Enjoy getting fucked and chucked.
>>24591673
Are you fucking with me? Every day there's nothing but hate and feel threads. Anyone with unpopular opinions is automatically shat on.
>>24589113
At least that article doesn't cover the hypothesis that although the number could be as high as 1:17, it doesn't count a generational perpetration of family. Even if men and women were entirely monogamous, if some family had on average three kids, and another only one, the ones who had three kids would rapidly overrepresent themselves in the population, and they'd all have the same male ancestor. It's more a marker of male to female sexual preferences. Women consistently valuing the same features/bloodline across time for multiple children versus men who would have as many kids as they could get.
>tfw prior to my bf only male attention i'd received was cat calls when i was younger
I don't think knowing the primary reason men are into you is to use you physically and throw you away like trash afterwards is better than no attention at all.
>>24592022
Wut. Are you complaining about being attractive? I mean you'll find a guy who loves you for your personality, atleast if you aren't worthless garbage.
And even if you are you can find someone to cherish you. Can't really see what exactly you dislike?
>>24592022
At least someone of the opposite sex is showing SOME interest in you.
>>24592204
>Are you complaining about being attractive
no, I am very unattractive. and as such the only attention I received was mocking/abusive.
I'd rather have grown up as a male and received no attention rather than what i did get.
>>24592268
even if it's to tell you that you trash unworthy of a relationship? that the best you can hope for is to be pumped and dumped? I'd much rather have been ignored.
>>24592321
Are you fat? If so you can change it. If not you're probably wrong about being unattractive.
Feel free to argue, but as a rule of thumb I assume girls are incapable of judging their own looks, nearly ever girl whines about how ugly they are. It's fucking annoying.
If you get cat calls it's not because they're mocking you. It's because they want to fuck you. I could be wrong, I don't know you afterall, but 9 times of 10 girls are just morons about this stuff.
>>24591397
Do women not do the same thing?
>>24592321
>I'd rather have grown up as a male and received no attention rather than what i did get.
You wouldn't say that if you experienced it. I'm male and I'm glad I've got some sexual/romantic attention. It really is better than nothing, you at least were wanted by someone rather than no one.
>>24589203
This, who the fuck DO you date OP? And you just said "After breaking up I'll try to stay friends" you hypocritical fool
>>24593626
She obviously dates her enemies, then.
That's what I keep telling you guys: women like being treated like shit. Be a complete dickbag to the girl you like and she'll be all over you.
>>24588542
>implying that people who aren't involved can't objectively see the truth
>some people don't want to hear the truth because it can destroy their illusions-Nietzsche
