>tfw you will never get out of depression
>tfw going to get drunk and spend hours thinking about suicide again
>tfw bipolar and waiting for the manic phase to kick in already
>tfw doing lots of drugs and skipping sleep, trying to trigger it
There is no cure for depression, we've realized that much. But, much like AIDs, it is possible to manage it and live a semi-normal life (if you have the money or insurance).
>>24582277
>tfw every time you find enough will power to get yourself on your feet, you self sabotage yourself and fall back into your old ways
The worst pain of all is "Hope"
>>24582316
It's not fair how some people are just naturally happy. I wasn't always sad, I used to be normal. How did I end up like this?
>>24582244
>tfw when I'm just starting to slowly climbing out of it
>tfw when fuck off OP
>tfw when you'll be stuck in your hole forever with that kind of attitude.
>tfw when a negative attitude is like a parasite, it'll continue to grow as long as you continue to feed it
>tfw when it took turning into an alcoholic to realize this...
>tfw on so many meds that I can't feel anything anymore
it works
>>24582316
I choose not to believe you.
>>24582355
>How did I end up like this?
You measure your own happiness based on the overt facades of others.
Most happy people are just better actors than the rest of us.
>suicidally depressed for years
>try to decide method
>decide on gun because I'm a pussy it's the most effective and least painful method
>look into buying one
>can't afford it
>convince self to hold it together because "muh family"
>at least until I can afford a gun
>make the mistake of telling my psych about my plans because I was actually being honest about how I felt for once
>get sent to a psych ward for 2 days
>can't buy a gun now
Will 2400mg of antihistamine put me out long enough? Thinking about passing out on some train tracks. I've got beta blockers and insulin too.
why do psychs send you to the psych ward if you tell them you're suicidal? everyone who's depressed is suicidal, who are they kidding? if I told the truth, I'd be in a psych ward my whole life.
>>24582430
You're right about the acting part because no one would ever tell I was depressed if they met me. It's not like I some robot. I have ambitions and goals. It just seems I have something weighing my life down and keeping me from being happy.
>>24582477
>who are they kidding?
The lawyers that want to ream their asses for every cent their worth.
>>24582320
>The worst pain of all is "Hope"
It makes it worse when your hopes in something that will never, ever happen.
>>24582477
Because they think that forcing someone in a facility they don't want to be at and to take meds they don't want to take will somehow help.
I should really talk to someone about my problem, but I know that I'd have to lie about the bigger ones to avoid going to a crazy house and in turn would just have to lie about everything, so it's pointless.
>depressed but not suicidal
>>24582477
Because if they don't do something and you actually kill yourself they're liable for it. Sending you somewhere where you can be monitored until your suicidal thoughts stop (lol yeah right) is their way of passing responsibility. They're covering their own ass from a legal standpoint.
>>24582430
So if one of those things isn't up to par it'll drag the other two down? How are people who are fucked on all three supposed to fix themselves?
>>24582402
What are you on anon
>>24582599
Wellbutrin, abilify, and lexapro.
What sucks is I can never do drugs again except weed and whenever I drink I pass right out after an hour.
>>24582619
fuck man, honestly thinking I might go to a psychiatrist soon, I've been gradually slipping into depression for the past 3 years and I think I'm at the point of no return
>>24582637
Do it anon, my meds make me feel really stable and when I go off them there's a noticeable difference. The wellbutrin is technically a stimulant med so I finally have that kick in the ass to get out of bed.
ive been abusing every kind of drug for two years.
i want to get help but i dont want to be put on a 'crazies' list and be judged by anyone.
>>24582619
I'm on Abilify, St. John's Wort,and kratom
>>24582661
abilify is a godsend man
>>24582383
bingo
bloxblox
>>24582674
absolutely. gets me out of bed and keeps me happy.
used to be on Risperdal and it was a nightmare.
Depressed for 9+ years. Never went on meds. Afraid of government mind control.
>Be depressed for years but never tried to kill myself
>get meds (citalopram and remeron)
>attempt suicide twice
anti depressants a shit
>>24582661
>>24582674
I had severe side effects from abilify, didn't notice much from it
Though we haven't found a medication that works for depression on me
Currently on paliperidone injections to stop my schizophrenia which doesn't work
Spent a month in a psych ward over it and had to lie about everything
Nothing really works for my schizophrenia and depression. Currently finding peace within myself to mix with medication
>>24582313
>tfw bipolar
>tfw knowing that mania is the only release Ill ever have from this suffering
>tfw cant stop taking my meds to be able to cycle again because of how scary I am when manic
>>24582526
>tfw depressed and suicidal but too much of a fucking pussy to do anything about it
>>24582832
Changing your brain chemistry is like playing Russian Roulette. You were just unlucky enough to get the chamber with a cartridge.
>>24582244
Oh I love that show. What was the name of it?
>>24582430
>CBT
kek
>>24582570
You fix one, and it allows the other two to fall in suit. That's kind of the goal of CBT, through it, your thoughts change enough to influence the other two aspects. You can start from ground zero it would just be a bit tougher.
Tfw my fear of death is the only thing keeping me alive
I recently had a long conversation with a friend yesterday and came to the conclusion that I probably have Depressive Personality Disorder
Probably not going to do anything about it though. I've seen 4 different psychologists in the past 3 years and I liked none of them. All they gave me were platitudes and advice to change my mindset on life. Yeah, like I didn't already try thinking a million different ways already. I didn't care enough to stay on the meds they gave me for them to take effect. I regret doing that but I feel like I can control how I feel well enough on my own to not have to put up with the bullshit of the medical industry, especially since my health insurance benefits might get cut soon. I can't afford another expense at this point
I'm basically trying to keep it together for another 2 years so I can graduate and find a job in my industry. Maybe then I'll start enjoying life. I can't remember the last time I was happy
Anybody know these feels? I'm not sure how to keep it together much longer. I'm hitting a wall
>>24582244
I'm surviving, people like survival so I do it.
>>24583828
I always start inexplicably feeling shitty again after I've made effort to feel better, and I fall apart. I don't think there are a set of rules you can follow for mental health. It's just a bunch of random nonsense that doesn't mean anything. Some people just get to feel shitty all the time for no reason.
>>24582320
So true, there is only one enemy and only one friend, and they are one, they are US...im just trying to force myself into habbits that will make me forget the fact that i will never have someone close to me because of my condition...may the universe give us a better afterlife
>>24583166
Friends (TV Series 1994-2004)
>2015
>not seeing a hypnotherapist to force your unconcious out of its depressive rift
stay down in the dumps, pleb
>>24585346
So all you needed was a placebo the whole time. Inspiring.
>>24582791
I was this way for a while, and now that I no longer give a shit; I'm broke, and don't have insurance.
>>24585388
>don't like any doctors, waahh
>dont want to exercise, waah
>healthy diet? but muh junk food
>vitamin d from the sun? no i stay indoors
>somebody just give me quick curse where i do absolutely nothing, waahhhhhhhhhh
pathetic really
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82kx2AI1Gns
This gets to me everytime
It doesn't end, ever.
I climbed out of the loser pit and nothing has changed at all.
There is no form of escapism strong enough to make me forget the endless melancholy, nothing from vidya, friends and girlfriends or any other shitty entertainment could do it anymore.
I want to kill myself so bad and be done with it but it would absolutely crush my dad who doesn't deserve going through that, since his dick doesn't work he can't just get another kid either, meaning that it's all on me.
Le sad when.
As a clean alcoholic/autist I've got a fuck ton of depression but I've realized that whenever I make shitty choices to be sad it is my own doing.
Literally everytime.
Everytime before I make a shitty choice, to fap, to not do homework, get on the computer which leads to fapping, I ask myself if I wanna keep being a fucking loser...
Ergo IMO depression is a choice, discuss
>>24586932
Depression can be the result of choice, it may also be the result of circumstance.
It is a cascade instance of feedback.
>>24585483
>implying any of that shit actually works
It's just normie advice really. I've been exercising(running at leasst 5 times a week), eating healthy, being out(to get sunlight) for about 3 months. It didn't help one bit. It didn't hurt, I mean I didn't want to kill myself more than I usually do, but it didn't help.
>>24584290
Then the circumstances would be the reason. What exactly those are might be unclear to us though.
>>24582430
how do i into cbt? is there a book or something?
>>24587301
Set goals, work toward them, set more goals, etc.
More satisfying than video game goals imo, just takes getting used to not having that instant gratification.
>>24587258
Lately I've been trying to waste time productively. At the end of the day it feels better knowing I've at least accomplished something, however small.
>>24587389
Lol set goals. What for? Really? Unless you born extremely lucky(which I am not) your goals don't mean shit. They're just something people delude themselves with to pass time. I'm not gonna delude myself.
As someone said above, I believe depression is a result of either circumstances or just naturally in some cases. In my own case it's circumstantial. My own circumstances could change, i.e I could win the lottery, get 100 new friends, 100 hot gfs, but I don't think it would change me. It wouldn't make me happy.
The metaphor I use for my own depression is this. I relate it to Santa Claus. Being happy and normal, and not depressed, is essentially still believing Santa Claus is real, without a care in the world. Being depressed is finding out Santa Claus doesn't exist. Things no longer make sense and you question everything.
Going from depressed to non depressed is like knowing Santa Claus isn't real and then trying to believe he is real. It's just not exactly possible.
>the "depression" meme
Reminder that pill poppers are literally killing themselves because they think they suffer from a real illness
>but muh chemical imbalances!
Never been established. This is a hypothesis drug manufacturers shit out to justify you swallowing their concentrated blight. Chemical imbalances cannot be shown to exist on a physical level and cannot be observed by any biomedical test
Depression is as state of mind wrought by unfulfillment and perpetuated by the notion that it is an affliction, that is, not inherent in your process of thought
>but muh clinically proven condition
Your state of mind is dependent on the quality of your thoughts. You are at your own mercy. It's not the event that influences you, but your perception of that event
This isn't a choice you make, but a semi conscious judgement. You have the ability to adjust your perspective through knowledge and experiences. That's the secret.
And now that you're off medication, you have the money to obtain these things.
>If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it, and this you have the power to revoke at any moment
-Marcus Aurelius
>>24587301
That stuff is all just bandaids
If you can't work out the underlying problem, it'll keep erupting when you get used to whatever it is you're doing
>>24587490
For many people the underlying problem is being born inferior and at the same time being expected to perform as if they weren't.
Great example: PUA. Ugly as fuck guys thinking they can get women by learning some shit. Thinking it's not just their bone structure that decided long time ago that they're either dying alone or with some ugly hag who hates them for not being Chad and makes them wish they were dying alone.
>>24587538
Yep, so stop performing
>>24587634
Oh I will. On the other hand it makes normies pretty mad when I tell them my reasons. They really can't comprehend it because they got lucky. Not that this should be surprising.
>>24587430
You don't have goals, anon? So you literally want to do nothing with yourself, just floating wherever the wind takes you?
>>24587467
Maybe being miserable is our normal natural state, brother. We shouldn't wish to be different, then. Just doing our own thing and taking what fun we can.
>these fucking turkey captchas.
>>24587389
optimism
>>24587430
pessimism
These two concepts will define a great deal of how you feel and what you do with your time.
>>24587693
>goals
I think goals are for people who were taught that they mattered
>>24582244
THIS IS THE PAIN THAT NEVER ENDS IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS SOME PEOPLE STARTED FEELING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS AND THEY WILL JUST KEEP FEELING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE THIS IS THE PAIN THAT NEVER ENDS...
daily reminder that ssris and benzos (used carefully) will literally cure you but you will ignore this advice
>>24587693
Well for now I'm finishing college. Out of momentum really, any interest I had in the field is gone now as I see that it's useless. Chads will always get jobs before you just because they are Chads. No amount of hard work can change that. I'm keeping myself in with the least amount of work because it keeps me from being homeless. What goals should I have really? There is nothing great I can accomplish, best case scenario? I work my ass off all my life to get what someone else gets just because they got born tall or good looking. Useless.
>>24587712
You see things as either pessimistic or optimistic. I see things as either true or untrue. That's what matters to me. If it's considered pessimistic but true, so be it.
>>24587796
What are you taking? Fuck that shit, specialize, do an excellent job, and you will get noticed. As for goals? Master-race computer with like 4 of those $1000 titan video cards, or a cool car idk. If you're like me you won't have to worry about saving money for future ungrateful offspring :^)
Just a fun fact for everyone.
Depression is irrational. If you're depressed about
_something_, then it's not depression, you're just sad. The normies who have great lives but still say they're depressed are actually depressed, the robots who sit in their rooms all day and have shitty lives are not.
I got prescribed to prozac
do they even work?
>>24588268
SSRIs aren't much more effective than placebo, and they have all sorts of nasty side effects. Enjoy jerking off now if you can, because you're not gonna be able to soon.
