Colonel, I'm not sure where I am...it seems that this place is called /r9k/...what's going on here?
>>24576423
That's right Snake. We've sent you to /r9k/. Its a board on a website called 4chan. Unlike the other boards, however, /r9k/ has no set topic and no duplicate posts. All of the users there must make completely original comments. We've sent you there to investigate the board culture. Strangely, the users of /r9k/ seem to give nicknames to various things, such as "tendies," "roasties," and "rare pepes." Your mission is to infiltrate the board, investigate the meaning of the various /r9k/ lingo, and report back.
I need scissors
61
snake all you need to know is that this board is made up of 20~ year olds with aspergers syndrome
there is nothing good here even otacon would pass it up
>>24576655
asperger syndrome?
Breaker breaker, come in Earth, this is Rocket Ship 27, aliens fucked over the carbonator on engine four, I'm gonna try to refuckulate it on Juniper. Uhh.. and hopefully they got some, space weed there, over.
How.. was that buddy? I don't fuckin know.
>>24576704
Snake, asperger syndrome is a developmental disorder that is part of the autism spectrum. It involves delays in the development of basic skills such as ability to socialize, imagination, and ability to communicate with others. People with aspergers usually exhibit behaviors such as an odd repetitive rituals, eccentric thought patterns, a limited range of interests, inability to empathize with other's situations or motivations, and coordination problems. The prevalance of aspergers within the users of /r9k/ might explain their severe hatred towards women.
Here's some info on Moe. I'm uploading it to your iDroid
>"..."
Watch out snake Elliot "undogeable" Rodger is behind you!
>>24576880
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7E_yKBN1YQ
>>24576928
Where can I find a sniper rifle?!
>>24576975
It's in the weapon warehouse, where you found the C4.
>>24576880
Elliot "undodgeable" Rodger?
Watch out for the traps snake!
W-whose footprints are these.
Snake this just came in from my Intel. The NEETS are behind you with Elliot Rodger and dragon dildos. Your regular approach can't be used here. You must try to reason with them.
Snake? SNAAAAAKKKEEEEEEE!
OH GEE WIZ I HOPE A TANK DOESNT TOTALLY COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND OWN ME
>>24577178
Cryptic metaphor!
>>24577178
>those fucking animations
why did egoraptor have to become such a lazy hack?
Original helicopter
>>24577236
A HIND D?
>>24577178
>ywn be an angsty teen lurking in newgrounds ever again
>>24577235
>he will never finish girlchan
>if he does it will be shit
>>24577160
Snake, NEETs are people who are not in education, employment, or training. Having no responsibilities, these people are free to spend their lives on leisure activities such as video games, anime, and posting on 4chan. NEETs make up a large majority of /r9k/ users. NEETs on /r9k/ use the term "wageslaves" to refer to people who aren't NEETs. They may not seem dangerous at first glance, but our intel tells us that because they have so much free time, many NEETs have trained themselves in martial arts and other forms of self-defense, and are quite knowledgeable on topics such as philosophy, history, and science. Be extremely careful around them, Snake.
>>24577438
I'd give anything to have mgs 1 set in /r9k/s world
>>24577438
What about Elliot "undogeable" Rodger, Colonel. Is he their leader or something? Does he have any affiliation with Big Boss? Also, are these tendie things safe to eat?
>>24577593
FUCKING NORMIE REEEEEE GET OUT GET OUT GET OUUUTTTTTT
>>24577593
From what we can tell, /r9k/ has no structural hierarchy. However, many of /r9k/'s users seem to have a great deal of respect for this Elliot Rodger, likely due to his immense hatred of women and proficiency in firearms. He's probably the closest thing that /r9k/ has to a leader. Apparently Rodger carried out an attack in the US a few years ago, and we suspect that he may have been acting under secret orders from Big Boss. We suspect that Big Boss offered him a spot in Outer Heaven in exchange for carrying out the attack. However, Rodger was never able to make it to Outer Heaven thanks to your initial mission as a FOXHOUND member- it was destroyed before he could travel there. Our intel tells us that he has a personal vendetta against you for that reason, so exercise extreme caution around him. As for the tendies, we are still unsure exactly what they consist of. They seem to be regular chicken tenders, but until we can analyze them at the lab, we won't know for sure. If you need to eat something, stick to your rations for now.
>>24577646
Colonel, is this one of those "rare pepes?"
>>24577999
I also see them sY duff like roastie, senpai, btfo and REEEEEEE. Is REEEEE their battle cry?. What is a normie, should I be afraid of them? Also, someone said I was a kek and then said >tfwnogf. What does all this mean? Do I need to decipher them?
>>24578116
We aren't entirely sure what a normie is, but the users of /r9k/ have a serious hatred for them, almost as much as they hate women. Our limited intel indicates that "normie" may a disparaging term that /r9k/ posters use to refer to normal people who aren't NEETs. Alternate terms include "normalfags," "normalfilth," and "normalshits," and there are probably other variations. Its likely that there are very few normies in /r9k/, and the ones that are there are likely be attacked by robots, so just do your best to avoid them for now. We've also heard them shout REEEEEE on various comms channels that we've intercepted, so you might be correct in assuming its a battle cry. As for the other terms, deciphering them could prove to be very useful in understanding /r9k/'s plans. See if you can find any documents or files that could provide insight into their meaning, or try to eavesdrop on some /r9k/ users to get context clues. Good luck Snake.
>>24577438
>are quite knowledgeable on topics such as philosophy, history, and science
KEKEKEKEKEK
>>24578363
I've seen many of their plans go like I like you guys don't come to x on (insert date here). People call this b8, a unknown term to me. Is it really that obvious or is this all a clever ruse?
I hear its amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hari Kiri Rock
>>24578530
We think that this might be warning that /r9k/ posters use to alert others of possible attacks, so that they'll avoid that area. However, as you stated, this might all be a ruse. They could be using that as a false flag to distract from the places where they actually intend to attack. In any case, report to us any time you hear them using that phrase to conspire. We'll need to alert the government so they can keep watch on the areas.
>>24578909
They keep reeling at me and screaming fuck off chad. What does this mean?
Did you like my sunglasses?
>>24579020
Our intel tells us that "Chad" is term that /r9k/ posters use to refer to males who are socially dominant or successful, or conventionally attractive. They seem to have an intense dislike for these Chads, much like normies. They're likely intimidated by your muscular body type and masculine facial features. Don't let insults get to you Snake- focus on your mission.
"Sir. We have the VIP secure and have locked him in a room full of dragon dildos and photos of the feet of Disney teen show actresses. He says he is okay."
Metal Gear Chadhelanthropus
I would vocaroo this whole thread with my best Snake voice but I'm not home alone.
Sorry guys.
>>24579294
> he doesn't have codec nanomachines to silently communicate his comms
>>24576841
It's so sad what MGSV actually turned out to be in the end.
Fucking depressing.
I wish so bad that it ended forever at 4.
We need to get to outer-heaven
>>24579601
>meanwhile, at /r9k/ Mother Base...
>>24577297
>>ywn be 13 and enjoy jerking off to meet and fucks
Excuse me, sir, but you must be this tall to ride.
[runs off with Snake's bicycle while he is looking at the sign]
>>24579619
Honestly though, you have played the game for a long time. Don't you have anything else to do with your time?
Snake, are you aware of the current year?
Snake. Always remember to bee yourself.
>>24576768
Is there some template to make these? I want to do a few.
Why does the Metal Gear series appeal so much to people like us ?
>>24580329
>appeal so much to people like usWhy be that guy?Man to man, no slighting or singling out, i'm asking. Don't be that guy.
I did my best, guys. I need a Colonel.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0dLjph3FZAH
>>24580529
better than MGS4 Hayter, that's for sure.
>>24579020
Don't worry Snake, I am a sleeper agent among these NEETs if you could call me that. In reality, I have been here for a long time, like a week since the board was created and I recall a time when these fags did not use to be the majority. Now I mostly patrol this board to pick up women from the yandere, fembot feels and misc threads. They are all rather easy to woo due to their social inexperience but that's besides the point. I have learned much about /r9k/ in my years here so feel free to ask me anything.
If you tick me off I will rat you out and disclose your position to the NEETs though so choose your words carefully.
>>24580529
N O I C E
I
C
E
>>24580529
>http://vocaroo.com/i/s0dLjph3FZAH
I can hear you sloshing around saliva and shit man. Back off the mic, got a pop filter. Guh.
Tis an austrailian snake. I'll allow it.
