How are you feeling today, R9K?on this afternoon on november 27 2015?
>>24569808
Same as always.
Shit.
>>24569836
sorry to hear that! is there any particular reason why you're feeling that way?
I'm reminiscing the days where I was happy. Blissfully unaware of my failures, but still happy.
>>24569808
I'm feeling pretty good, I'm sipping tea in bed and I just had some apple pie and I'm comfy and have my laptop and things don't seem so bad
I'm slowly losing the motivation to live. Nothing is enjoyable anymore. This is a great afternoon OP.
Like shit because time is going by too fast and I know next year is the year that I'm getting kicked out. I either have to get a decent paying job or just kill myself.
>>24569969
Buy a telescope, look at the stars. Become one with the vast emptiness.
>>24569808
I was until about 10 minutes ago. I only get out once a week to head up to the city my friend's apartment, and buy weed. Weed dealer is in Philly, all my senpai is out of the house, I have no booze, and all my friends are busy with family shit. Feels bad sempai.
>>24569862
Oh you know, diagnosed major depression and bipolar since I was 5, so I've literally been depressed my whole life. I'm 26 and can't fathom what it's like to be happy, only various levels of distracted.
>>24569969
Did anything happen? what's keeping you from enjoying things?
>>24570110
what kinds of things do you do to distract yourself?
>>24570124
>>24570124
Nothing happen really just one day I woke up and found I could no longer enjoy anything. I have no other attachments other than objects and escapism like tv. After losing the little I liked I don't know what to do anymore. All I do now is watch endless lets plays on YouTube thinking that if I hear voices maybe I won't feel so bad.
>>24570257
what let's plays do you watch?
>>24570309
Anything I don't even remember any shit you tuber playing prop hunt I'm probably watching.
>>24569969
>>24570257
same except i don't like hearing people's voices. they always seem happy and connected to other people and i get jealous
>>24570176
Mtg, work, school, the occasional video games even though I really don't have time anymore.
Hopeless and depressed.
>>24570407
when you watch some of the players do you go to play the game yourself? I did that for a while and found myself quitting my own game and going back to watch them. After doing that repeatedly I just asked myself what's the point of watching someone else play a game and never playing it myself. That was 2 years ago and I haven't watched a let's play or played a game for myself since.
This morning and yesterday were awful. The voices were just too much, but the storm inside my head has quieted, for now. For how long though, I cannot say.
Pretty fucking great.
I increased my skills considerably this week. Feels accomplished
>>24570497
I don't even play the games I don't have money for that I just watch because that was the last thing I use to enjoy. I just sorta stare at it blankly. I couldn't even tell u what they did if u asked me a hour later. Just hearing sound is better than total silence.
>>24570469
this really bothers me about listening to other people's conversations
horrible. Want to kill myself all day so far and I'm running out of vodka
>>24570620
have you tried getting into music? that's what I did once I quit games. pretty nice hobby to get into because you can just put on an album and lay in your bed listening.
>>24569808
Just looked at my old deviant art account from my 12 year old self. All I can think of is how much I want to shoot myself and wtf is wrong with me
I want to forget.
>>24570469
>>24570631
I'm surprised anons I have to have constant sound or else my mind will drive me crazy. I have to even have sound when I'm sleeping just so I can fall asleep.
>>24569808
not so good I think I mite lose my job....
a Job I love
>>24570680
That's what I'm trying to do but I can't find any music I like. It ends up just annoying me after a while I can only listen for so long.
>>24569808
I keep wondering is this all there is to life. I can't stand it anymore.
Shit
I just want to lay in bed and do nothing, but I can't afford to do that because my coursework deadlines are coming up.
>>24570751
have you tried going over to /mu/?
>the autism tho
I usually get some charts from there and some "essentials". Besides being fucking annoying, I can still find some great albums from there.
http://4chanmusic.wikia.com/wiki/Essential_Charts
>>24570826
Thank you anon for being so helpful. I have tried but I'll try again I'm just not into and obscure music. I'm simple I can't handle deep stuff I don't have the attention span anymore for that. I'll take ur word though and look at that
>>24570896
Yeah I tend to avoid a lot of their music posted and just try to find stuff to just help me sleep / just help me relax. My fav chart for that is http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/4chanmusic/images/1/1e/Feels.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130106002829
It's a lot of easy, calm, and nice sounding stuff and since you said you forget stuff very quickly (same with me) the lyrics won't bring you to tears so much (so hit right home though so watch out)
Had an extremely vivid sex dream. Felt great. Then I woke up and remembered that no woman will ever touch me in real life. Now I feel kinda shitty.
>>24571116
>that feel
I hate those dreams. Nothing like waking up to a shitty dose of reality.
>>24570620
Im exactly the same, are you me anon friend
Something like this fami dfgdf
I feel shit. I want to kill myself but i'm too much of a coward to do this. Besides my family would be scarred forever therefore i'm living just for others.
like shit
like shit
>>24570706
you shouldn't get that down on yourself!
