how are you doing tonight, R9K?
There is no toilet paper to fap with.
I want to die, man.
>>24560292
how do you use toilet paper to fap, anon?
i usually just use my hand?!?!
>>24560267
l fucked up.
Looking at all the threads with femanons and being depressed that even they won't go near me
i got called a faggot again in cs:go and it legitimately made me want to kill myself
Was supposed to start exercising again. Did some stretching and a few calisthenic shits on Tuesday and started drinking that evening. Been drinking since then and it's almost 11am Friday now. Need to go take empty cans to store in a bit since I can't move my arms properly anymore because they take up all the space. Kinda horny and been imagining that I'm a 80IQ slutty bimbo bikini model with a boyfriend who has a huge cock and I have very little self-awareness. Starting sixth year as a NEET in March.
It could be better.
>>24560310
how did you fuck up, anon??????????
>>24560302
I just jizz into toilet paper and clean myself up with it.
I live with people.
>>24560313
I'm sorry to hear that! that sounds pretty rough.
>>24560350
use a sock, and then throw away the sock?
you can always get another sock
>>24560331
I hope you're able to drink less and start exercising again!
Ive reached the point in my life where its now or never. I just wanna kill myself but its gooing to destroy everyone around me and tear apart my family so i just cant. The only thing i want to do is sleep, i smoke a lot of weed so i dont remember my dreams and that's when im at peace. I hope there is not an afterlife i hope its nothing
>>24560488
I'm used to having lots of tissues and whatnot.
I'm not too fond of having to jerk off into a sock, I also have some pretty neato socks.
>>24560292
>>24560302
>>24560350
>>24560488
>>24560568
>not just cumming into the toilet
The fuck is wrong with you? You're almost as bad as those freaks who cum on themselves in bed and sleep with it.
>>24560540
I'm sorry to hear you're hurting so bad! What's making you want to kill yourself, anon?
>>24560589
why are you so judgmental about how people choose to deal with their jizz, anon?
I'm okay. Almost OD'd on morphine so that was weird. I guess I wasn't really even that close to overdose, I was just uncomfortably high. Nodding hard from noon to 7.
>>24560568
most of my socks are pretty cheap, so I wouldn't mind wasting one if I didn't have anything else.
>>24560535
Thanks. I tried dating last year and after realising what a fucking autist I am it sent me into a downward spiral. Been thinking about going full no-fucks-given mode in the near future.
>>24560589
Do you seriously expect me to stop masturbating right before I cum, get off my computer, sprint to the bathroom, and finish in there?
What the fuck is wrong with YOU?
>>24560632
what's morphine like? do you do it often?
what other sorts of drugs do you use?
>>24560589
Look man, we have our own ways of jerking off you fucking weirdo.
So, like do you jerk off looking at porn mags or your phone or some shit? I can't imagine how I'd standing infront of the toilet jerking off, that's like something I'd do when I was a kid.
Whatever, not that it matters.
>>24560660
Feels good when you don't have too much, but because I did I was nauseous and couldn't eat. Technically it was in the form of poppy seed tea, which is why it lasted so long. I do a mix of things. Smoked weed heavily for a long time, but I don't currently have a good source. I have some benzo's in the mail, and I'm probably going to make a darknet order soon.
>>24560648
I found it helped me to be a lot less bitter and angry when i was able to accept the fact that i'm a weird, ugly dysfunctional autist and not meant to have some things and that those things would mostly be bad for me anyway.
I wish I had some more fucking change.
I just need like 2.60$ more just to get like half a gram of weed, it's a far walk but it's so fucking worth it. I'm starting to think life is too fair.
>>24560772
I hope you're able to scrounge up another $2.60, anon!
Pretty bad, honestly.
>>24560632
i know a few people who've died from railing heroin. used to get fucked up with them.
now i just drink alone`
>>24560722
Yeah, I tried thinking that way as well but my dick is leading me on too much. Drinking helps in quelling the urges for a bit, but it's not a 100% effective solution, not to mention bad for me and my wallet.
Recently been talking to a 65yo~ lady and I ended up pouring my heart out to her when drunk a few nights ago. She's pretty understanding and says that my main problem with my looks is that I just look so darn young and innocent or something, but will apparently look absolutely stunning when I get to around age 40. So 15 more years of being treated like a child, ok gramma.
>>24560865
I'm sorry to hear that anon! Is there anything more you'd like to share about it?
>>24560865
Cmon, anon, if you're still there, you can talk to us about it, it's a the best thing you can do for yourself.
>>24560937
>>24560961
It's not really anything unique, just the same shit a majority of this board suffers.
>>24560971
Yeah, and I always dump it on you guys anyways. Makes me feel better afterwards.
>I get to jerk off not feeling sad.
>>24560267
Pretty shit. Ended up watching Big Hero Six recently. It was a good movie, but it just made me realize I wish I had a group of friends and maybe a big brother to help me out when I was younger. Maybe if I had that kind of push I wouldn't be the rotten mess I am now.
All in all, I just feel lonely, depressed and shifting between suicidal thoughts that I doubt I'll have find the urge to act on unless it's by impulse. I've been thinking about saving up and buying a gun just so I can let go when it feels too much. I don't think my death will be planned, just more so I'm banking on pure emotion guiding me to that point.
I just can't see myself happy in this world because everything is imperfect and what I want only really exist in fantasies. I've always viewed true happiness, friendship and love as that sort of things that are just advertised and held over your head as a means to make you believe there is something more.
However, I just feel it's all inherently shit. The world is a cold, ugly and damp place and I just want out of it somehow. Everytime I awake from my sleep I always get the sense I just don't belong in this world. I don't fit in anywhere, I don't connect with anyone and it feels like a chore to so much as exist anymore.
There is no point in this besides fear and surivival instinct. Fear of the unknown of death, and instinct due to the bodies desire to preserve itself. But, as I stated before, I hope the irrational logic of emotion can overcome that someway because I feel tired of this.
If I can't spend my time stuck in my dreams, virtual reality or high as fuck; I just want out of this shitty life filled with shitty people and filled with my equally shit self. As I'm just as horrible as the world I was born into and I just want to live in an existence where I do not constantly feel miserable. It's a bastard thing the human body is and I wish I could turn these emotions and feelings off with a flick of the switch.
I miss her more than normal tonight. I wish I could talk to someone from one of those suicide prevention lines, maybe feel like someone cares, but I know they would have to call the cops on me if I did. Why do we live, only to suffer?
>>24560613
I was born with a neuromuscular condition and ive just been through the same scenarios my whole life and im over it. Ive always felt like an outcast and incredibly alone even though i have many good friends and a supportive family. I dont deserve any of the support i get because i feel worthless and this makes me hate myself more than anything in the world i guess.
>>24560971
You can discuss the particulars of your problems if you want, they don't particularly need to be unique as far as I'm concerned
>>24561020
Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad about the world.
You know what I've found helps me, is focusing on little simple good things that make me happy, like my favorite comfy sweaters and hats! And my cozy bed and blankets, and my laptop, and the tv shows that I like!
Is there anything that makes you feel a little bit better about the world, anon?
>>24561030
Sorry to hear that, I can't imagine what that's like.
It's too bad you have such a problem accepting people's support anon, I hope you find a way to be okay with it
>>24561184
There are small things, but they don't often make up for the overwhelming amount of time I feel miserable.
I can temporarily feel better after running, indulging in food and internet + staying in bed and listening music.
Yet most of those things are not infinite. I've had periods where I've been injured and unable to run which made me feel even worse than I do now. While, anything depending on heat/electricity can be taken away with just one paycheck and the shelter is gone like that.
Misery is always one step away I feel and it's never too good to set your hopes. As I'm the kind of person who sets his hopes up extremely high, only to have them burn out and crash like a jet plummeting to the earth. It's why I wish I could kill my emotions so I could just remain static and not have to deal with this mental bullshit that comes with being bipolar since I have type two.
>>24561082
But what I have to complain about are all problems caused by myself, there's no conversation about them, it'd just be me getting given advice I've heard before but just ignore. Outside of that, there's the way I feel about myself, but I've been enough of an attentionwhore about it before and don't really want to go on about it again, mainly because I don't have any reason or excuse to feel the way I do.
My night improved a little bit thought because I found a nice song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgXm4W_AG0c
>>24560267
pretty gud
fapped about an hour ago and came like mad
about to fap again in a sec and then go to bed.
also did my laundry so i have clean shirts for work tomorrow so thats nice
>>24561280
Not to mention that indulging in too much food will just make you feel bloated and fat. I used to be extremely huge, upwards of 340 pounds. I ended up losing some of the weight as I held on to an unrealistic hope that things would get better if I weighed less -- they didn't.
Now I just hover around 180 and 195 pounds for the past few years because fuck it.
I'm doing alright, just dropped out of college. Currently on my break from wageslaving pretty shit job but making plans to get a cushty job and hopefully a qt gf in 2016. Feeling hopeful guys. How is everyone else ?
>>24561314
I know that song!
I'm glad you found it and that it made you feel a little better, anon
>>24561363
I find it cozy to drink lots of cups of tea!
>>24560267
Not too bad. Sitting here enjoying day two of four off thanks to the holidays, drinking some eggnog, chowing down some mac-n-cheese and wasting time with you fine folks.
random pic
3-10 you think you're getting better till relapse and you realise you haven't changed at all
My fuck buddy, for want of a better term, finally understood that what we had was just sex. She says she's not mad but I don't believe that. Girls never tell the truth. I'm gonna get tested Monday.
My gf is keking me with another girl
>>24564184
0.00% content what the fuck
