>dog barks
>relatives are here
>hi aunt Dorsey
>oooooh hello anon! so good to see you! do you have a girlfriend yet?
>>24544284
>having a dog
>having close relationships with relatives
>being underage
fuck off tbqh.
>>24544351
>not living at home for 10 years
>go to parents house for thanksgiving
>they have a dog
>other relatives go to their house too
try using your brain anon tbqh
>>24544351
No you fuck off you twink faggot
>unshaven
>haven't showered in a couple days and starting to smell
>haven't cut my hair
>relatives are here
>have to figure out a way to sneak past them into the bathroom
think i'll just sit in my room. I've got plenty of water to last for the next 2 days.
>>24544351
>>24544424
>tbqh
Why are you typing like that?
Are you slow in the mind?
>>24545069
found the newfag
asdf
>>24544990
do you ever stop to think how fucking stupid this whole act is? you're a grown man. who gives a shit how they view you. just take a piss man
>>24545069
lmao tbqh family look at this faggot
>>24545096
im NEET and you don't get it.
My relatives see me for the bum I am, and then they start talking to my mother about why I don't have a job and that she should "kick me out the nest." And other bullshit.
All my family ever does it shit talk and try to cause grief.
>can't understand grandpa's accent
>he's trying to talk to me
why
>>24545127
call them out on it
make them feel miserable for trying to make you feel miserable
>>24545086
I'm not new at all, pal. I have been going here since the original robot.
I just want to know why you insist on typing so niggerdly, when the rest of the site has shown to be tired of these ebonics.
Just accept the word filters, sempai. They're very sugoi.
>>24545161
you can't shame a bunch of sociopaths anon.
>>24545183
you're trying so hard to fit in, but you're only calling yourself out.
>>24545186
This made me laugh despite knowing it's true. The only answer to relatives visiting is to never leave your room. that's why I keep some food and water in here just in case.
I somehow doubt a frog could lift a mini gun above his head
>>24544284
Magic dog?
>>24545234
I am not trying anything, other than letting famposters know that they look like imbeciles.
>>24545304
Im shaking my head right now to be honest with you, family.
>>24545304
and what a swell job you've done. I'm sure those people will stop now.
Thanks anon for your hard work and vigilance.
>>24545358
See. Was that so hard? You still sound a bit idiotic, though. I am not your family. Keep on trying and maybe you can type like you have brain cells.
>>24545360
You're welcome, anon. I do my best.
>>24545440
I aint never like a bitch nigga to be honest senpai
>>24545478
I have no idea what you are trying to say, but I'm happy you're trying.
>>24544284
> have to work today
> don't have to do the farcical thanksgiving dinner thing with family
> where my immediate family half-assedly pretend to be a strong united family in front of other objectively superior families
> don't have to worry about relatives, or anyone coming over.
> ain't gotta worry about shit
Today's going to be a good day.
>>24544284
>dog barking
>relatives here
>banging on my door to come out and say hi
>extremely loud yelling from the living room as they talk - it bleeds through me blasting drum and bass through my sennheiser 380's
>fucking cars honking outside and people also yelling
i'm seriously losing my fucking shit i don't know what to do, i don't ever remember being sensitive to sounds but its just like having a cheese grater to my eardrum. it pisses me off so badly what is wrong with me i just want quiet
>15ish years ago
>relatives accused father of abuse
>noguilty.jpg
>today
>lay in bed on r9k
>can hear them talking
"why do you let him sleep all day?
"he forgot his meds jetlag and waking up normally can be hard on him"
>been awake almost three hours
>know if i go out it's just going to be blatant insults from my mother and brother about not being in school
>tfw i told them to go fuck themselves last year at christmas
>they think I'm waiting on a response from a community college
>rejection email was sent 5 days Ago
I know I can sit in here all day but might as well go out since I'm more depressed about having no future than dealing with a room full of cancer ridden assholes who will likely die in a yeargonna smile and hope I'm the will
>>24545520
If you can't get money boi you got a curse
>>24545565
shit man that sounds tough, hang in there. you'll find a way. we all will.
>>24545571
I am still confused, trying to decipher what you're trying to say, but I do believe you misspelled the word "boy" as "boi".
Keep trying, though. You should get the hang of it, soon enough.
>>24544284
>tfw this is happening in 3 hours
Feels bad to be the black sheep of the family
>>24545556
I know this feel. If you're story goes on anything like mine it's probably best to an hero ASAP tbqphwyf
holy fuck remembered how i hate most of my relatives. They are all so fucking fake when they really just about wish the worst for you.
>>24545652
This shit is making me laugh pham keep shitposting
>>24545652
you gone done it now baby bacon famlia
>>24545692
You must have a really clean honest family if being a neet makes you the blacksheep of the family.
I'm a neet and I'm not the blacksheep, because I have fucked up relatives who have abused drugs, one with STD's, at least two or three others who have been to jail, and one cousin who had a son that committed suicide (13 year old son who went out like Kirk Cobain, seriously used a shotgun on himself, after a girl dumped him.)
Compared to all of them, I'm normal.
>that awkward moment when you see that uncle again who used to touch your peepee and thinks you forgot about it
>>24545652
shamu swims in the east in the monday rain tbqh
>>24545652
take this food trol i now your game
>>24545556
My whore sister and cunt mom are extremely loud when they 'talk'. I just want to grab a knife and butcher that cunt when I hear her. Fucking cunt.
>>24545720
>tbqphwyf
Was there any reason to put that at the end of your post?
>>24545743
I am not "shitposting". I'm just informing you about how stupid you can sound, and how to type properly.
>>24545751
>>24545783
>>24545792
Now I feel as though you are trying to get a reaction out of me.
>>24545815
LISTEN karma dung, tbqh this is the last cupcake you steal from me familia smfh
>>24545815
How do i "sound" stupid when you can't hear what i type jackass?
>>24545762
>abused drugs, one with STD's, at least two or three others who have been to jail,
Same but I'm still the creep. Those degenerates gang up on me.
>>24545815
>Was there any reason to put that at the end of your post?
I had to let him know that I meant it sincerely. And more than that, I was trying to be quite perfectly honest with him as I consider him almost family.
>>24545815
shake it
bake it
booty quake it
4 real pham
>>24545842
I am not touching your baked goods, sir. I am only after the gibberish sewage that has found itself in your posts.
>>24545851
Good point. I usually try to catch myself when I make those kinds of mistakes, but that one must have snook past my filter. Thank you for correcting me.
>>24545878
If you were truly sincere, you could have carefully typed it out, using words.
>>24545891
That is some nice poetry, but I do not see how it is relevant.
>>24545934
You still a broke boi senpai
>>24545934
Ok listen here friendo, you can fuck right off to normanbook with your full sentences and shit m8 hsmh tbpfh
>>24545934
tbqh im enjoying watching you sperg out.
thanks for the entertainment pham
>"I'm autistic like you anon".
>>24545994
Oh please, it's your kind of degenerate language that's accepted in the normalfaggot lands. You are the one who should head back to Facebook and Twitter. I'm sure they'll enjoy your idiotic ramblings.
>>24546003
I am not sperging out one bit. I have all the time in the world, and I am just spending a select bit of it to lecture you on how to properly type on 4chan.
>>24546105
>how to properly type
>on 4chan
>not sperging
>>24546128
I'm not sperging.
I'm all smiles!
>>24545565
How do you get rejected from a community college
>Thanksgiving with strangers
>you walk into a room and one of the strangers is in her towel after a shower
>she's a qt
>back away and say sorry repeatedly with hands up
let it end, I don't know how much longer I can deal with this shit.
>>24546105
>properly
>"im new to 4chan btw baka"
*tips sperghat*
>>24546143
>inb4 "I was pretending to be retarded the whole time"
>>24546147
This. Community colleges take almost everyone. Only thing I can think of is he applied to a specific program.
>>24545544
I was looking forward to this and then my boss went and changed my schedule
>Ice storm rolling through my area
>Family event is 60 miles away
>Decides to call it off due to icy roads
>Going to sit in my room all day playing vidya
>>24546214
I have been going here since the beginings, my friend.
>>24546236
My opinions on "famposting" are completely sincere.
In fact it's "famposting" itself that's "pretending to be retarded". "Famposting" started out as "ironically" emulating the ebonics of black people tweets. Of course like all "ironic" culture on 4chan it became something that is endlessly repeated without any hint of irony.
"Famposting" has to end.
>hear relatives arriving downstairs
>work myself up to greeting them behind my door
>Overhear parents 'Dont expect to see much of anon, he'ld rather play his computer games than socialize'
>Go back to computer and play computer games
>>24544284
>dog barks
>aunt decides to come 3 hours before we even start
>nobody is ready
>food isn't even ready
>i smell like shit and I haven't taken a shower since Sunday
>have to figure out how I'm going to get past her and take a shower before 2:00pm
fucking end me
>be normie, home from graduate school
>relatives all arrive at the same time within a 20 minute window
>have dinner
>relatives ask about my new girlfriend how life is going for me
>brother and I sit on the couch just browsing internet on phones after we eat, waiting for everyone to leave
>aunt takes a bunch of pictures
>everyone goes home and im back on the computer within 2 hours of them getting here
feels good to have been raised right by a normal, god-fearing family
>>24546464
Ok Pham
>>24546911
Alright, pal.
>>24545096
>who gives a shit how they view you.
he does
they do
so that's everyone involved
Hey man, at least relatives were the people who arrived on Thanksgiving for you. I wasn't so fortunate.
>>24547017
okay familia
>>24545186
Call them faggots then.
>>24544351
having a better relationship with animals than humans is 100% robot
my dog never judges me, and she really likes peanut butter
>>24545069
Rude desu imho senpai smdh
>>24547094
>>24547121
I'm happy the robot is back. It fills me with glee, to know an exact post won't be posted here for a while.
>>24546595
>have to figure out how I'm going to get past her and take a shower before 2:00pm
What do you mean?
Is she sitting in the washroom? That's where she's staying for the whole holiday?
Just be like "OH HI AUNT BETHANY I'LL BE WITH YOU SHORTLY" and then take a shower
>>24547163
ok familia
>>24546469
I understand that feel
>>24547185
I want to see you type out that phrase in every possible way until there is absolutely no way anyone can type out anything similar on /r9k/ again.
>>24547229
>implying its hard to bypass the robot
hello newfag
>>24546387
Fuck you
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>go to aunts house with my mom
>aunt has 2 Chinese qt exchange students staying with her
>former Chinese exchange student of hers and her boyfriend are here as well
>exchange students boyfriend talks to all the pretty gals in Chinese while I look at my phone
>he's allowed to drink the beer that's there because he's over 21 and his mom doesn't have an irrational fear of alcohol
>never thought I'd envy an asian
>>24547254
I know it's not hard,but it's against the rules.
>>24547278
Alright, pal. Keep trying.
>>24547306
> but it's against the rules
someone, pls get this kid out of here
We just sit and listen to my grandpa talk about growing up in the 40s and 50s, its pretty entertaining.
>>24547306
You are intelligent, and I like your posts. Please post more.
>>24547325
Rule 4: Purposefully evading the ROBOT9000 filter is not permitted.
I'M ALL SMILES
>>24547362
Thank you.
>tfw only 4 relatives
>3 of them live on the other side of the country, 1 of which is probably dead by now
>just me and my mummy
>she still cooks the whole deal but doesn't make me eat it with her
>eat it in my room at my computer
feels good tbqph senpai
>>24547078
Saved, do you have more like this ? I love "big cities at night" scenario
>>24547437
Announcing reports is also against the rules.
>>24547466
Keep going. I'm sure this will be fun.
>kids outside screaming in joy
>>24547386
>pretends there isn't millions of ways to structure a sentence to include "desu" or "senpai" in it
>pretends the mods care about upholding that rule
Haha alright pham
>>24547547
Yes, more.
Feed me more.
>>24547571
np pham
>>24547583
MORE!
I NEED MORE!
>>24547608
coming right up pham
>>24547615
YES YES YES!
MORE!
I FEEL GOOD!
>>24547659
say no more famm
>>24547672
MORE!!!
MORE!!!
I NEEED MOR
>>24545773
I laughed. Story time.
>>24547727
smfh you didnt even have to ask famm
Now this is how you speak chimp. Pic related.
>>24547414
Make your mom company, your huge living waste of space!
>tfw hispanic family
>everyone hates each other so families never come together
>eating thanksgiving dinner with just my parents and sister
>>24547888
Oh look, I got trips.
>whole family is traveling
> this year , christmas and new year's eve will be just me and my mom.
> i'll have to stay with her to keep her company because I love her and I'm not a completely shit piece of son
> but I secretly had plans to spend the holidays partying hard with friends, and drug myself with keta, alcohool, extazy and acid until near overdose
> all plans cancelled to stay with mommy at home
Shit.
>>24546469
I'll never understand why normies think this is funny
>>24547285
Thanksgiving wouldn't have been that bad because there wouldn't be any relatives coming from out of state, so everyone there knows about me and doesn't really say anything that would piss me off.
Christmas is going to be a different story however.
>>24548168
they don't think its funny. they're embarrassed of him and they want to shed some of the shame by implying his actions are out of their control.
>>24544320
kek of the topest
Thank God my parents hate all my aunts and uncles. Would be fucking awful if I had to deal with any of them.
My chill brother and his girlfriend came over. Were just hanging out and watching movies and shit. Feels good.
>>24548451
Same here, it's great. I haven't seen my cousins in years and I don't care.
I like my sister though so my kids are going to have to hang out with hers. I got lucky though.
>>24546387
I rate comfy/10
>>24544320
o i am laffin, how have i never seen this gif before, great post familia
>>24544320
rip generico
>>24544284
Your relatives are dogs?
>>24547422
not him, but that pic is an album cover
