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Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife -- he's going to operate right there in the street.

You ask, "Are you a doctor?"

The guy says, "No."

You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or ..."

At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.

Confused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my [wife/husband/best friend/parent] is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?"

Now the man becomes agitated -- why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?

In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, "Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole."

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So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. You arrived at the scene of that emergency, holding your pocket knife, by virtue of your birth -- the moment you came into the world, you became part of a system designed purely to see to people's needs.

Either you will go about the task of seeing to those needs by learning a unique set of skills, or the world will reject you, no matter how kind, giving, and polite you are. You will be poor, you will be alone, you will be left out in the cold.

Does that seem mean, or crass, or materialistic? What about love and kindness -- don't those things matter? Of course. As long as they result in you doing things for people that they can't get elsewhere. For you see ...

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Here is the greatest scene in the history of movies:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4PE2hSqVnk

For those of you who can't watch videos, it's the famous speech Alec Baldwin gives in the cinematic masterpiece Glengarry Glenn Ross. Baldwin's character -- whom you assume is the villain -- addresses a room full of dudes and tears them a new asshole, telling them that they're all about to be fired unless they "close" the sales they've been assigned:

"Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. If you want to work here, close."

It's brutal, rude, and borderline sociopathic, and also it is an honest and accurate expression of what the world is going to expect from you. The difference is that, in the real world, people consider it so wrong to talk to you that way that they've decided it's better to simply let you keep failing.

is this a cracked article

That scene changed my life. I'd program my alarm clock to play it for me every morning if I knew how. Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Oscar for that movie and that's the only scene he's in. As smarter people have pointed out, the genius of that speech is that half of the people who watch it think that the point of the scene is "Wow, what must it be like to have such an asshole boss?" and the other half think, "Fuck yes, let's go out and sell some goddamned real estate!"

Or, as the Last Psychiatrist blog put it:

"If you were in that room, some of you would understand this as a work, but feed off the energy of the message anyway, welcome the coach's cursing at you, 'this guy is awesome!'; while some of you would take it personally, this guy is a jerk, you have no right to talk to me like that, or -- the standard maneuver when narcissism is confronted with a greater power -- quietly seethe and fantasize about finding information that will out him as a hypocrite. So satisfying."

That excerpt is from an insightful critique of "hipsters" and why they seem to have so much trouble getting jobs (that doesn't begin to do it justice, go read the whole thing), and the point is that the difference in those two attitudes -- bitter vs. motivated -- largely determines whether or not you'll succeed in the world. For instance, some people want to respond to that speech with Tyler Durden's line from Fight Club: "You are not your job."

But, well, actually, you totally are. Granted, your "job" and your means of employment might not be the same thing, but in both cases you are nothing more than the sum total of your useful skills. For instance, being a good mother is a job that requires a skill. It's something a person can do that is useful to other members of society. But make no mistake: Your "job" -- the useful thing you do for other people -- is all you are.

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There is a reason why surgeons get more respect than comedy writers. There is a reason mechanics get more respect than unemployed hipsters. There is a reason your job will become your label if your death makes the news ("NFL Linebacker Dies in Murder/Suicide"). Tyler said, "You are not your job," but he also founded and ran a successful soap company and became the head of an international social and political movement. He was totally his job.

It was the irony that many people missed from that movie.

Or think of it this way: Remember when Chick-fil-A came out against gay marriage? And how despite the protests, the company continues to sell millions of sandwiches every day? It's not because the country agrees with them; it's because they do their job of making delicious sandwiches well. And that's all that matters.

You don't have to like it. I don't like it when it rains on my birthday. It rains anyway. Clouds form and precipitation happens. People have needs and thus assign value to the people who meet them. These are simple mechanisms of the universe and they do not respond to our wishes.

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If you protest that you're not a shallow capitalist materialist and that you disagree that money is everything, I can only say: Who said anything about money? You're missing the larger point, you simpering NEET smoothbrain.

Let's try a non-money example so you don't get hung up on that. The demographic that Cracked writes for is heavy on 20-something males. So on our message boards and in my many inboxes I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won't come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world. I can explain what is wrong with this mindset, but it would probably be better if I let Alec Baldwin explain it:

>>24513920

In this case, Baldwin is playing the part of the attractive women in your life. They won't put it as bluntly as he does -- society has trained us not to be this honest with people -- but the equation is the same. "Nice guy? Who gives a shit? If you want to work here, close."

So, what do you bring to the table? Because the Zooey Deschanel lookalike in the bookstore that you've been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She's going to be a surgeon in 10 years. What do you do?

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"What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?"

No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by thinking that they're just being shallow and selfish. I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don't say that you're a nice guy -- that's the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not?

"Well, I'm not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!"

I'm sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don't have, then back the fuck away from the patient. There's a witty, handsome guy with a promising career ready to step in and operate.

>Wait, I'll make you tendies! I'll give you a bowl full of eggs! I'm no Chad!

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Does that break your heart? OK, so now what? Are you going to mope about it, or are you going to learn how to do surgery? It's up to you, but don't complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. "But I'm a great listener!" Are you? Because you're willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there's another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you're a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick. You're like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is "The actors are clearly visible."

I think this is why you can be a "nice guy" and still feel terrible about yourself. Specifically ...

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"So, what, you're saying that I should pick up a book on how to get girls?"

Only if step one in the book is "Start making yourself into the type of person girls want to be around."

Because that's the step that gets skipped -- it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?" See, because that second one could very well require giving up many of your favorite hobbies and paying more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You might even have to change your personality.

"But why can't I find someone who just likes me for me?" you ask. The answer is because humans need things. The victim is bleeding, and all you can do is look down and complain that there aren't more gunshot wounds that just fix themselves?

Here's another video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSnRq6iyHKg

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Everyone who watched that video instantly became a little happier, although not all for the same reasons. Can you do that for people? Why not? What's stopping you from strapping on your proverbial thong and cape and taking to your proverbial stage and flapping your proverbial penis at people? That guy knows the secret to winning at human life: that doing ... whatever you call that ... was better than not doing it.

"But I'm not good at anything!" Well, I have good news -- throw enough hours of repetition at it and you can get sort of good at anything. I was the world's shittiest writer when I was an infant. I was only slightly better at 25. But while I was failing miserably at my career, I wrote in my spare time for eight straight years, an article a week, before I ever made real money off it. It took 13 years for me to get good enough to make the New York Times best-seller list. It took me probably 20,000 hours of practice to sand the edges off my sucking.

Don't like the prospect of pouring all of that time into a skill? Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the sheer act of practicing will help you come out of your shell -- I got through years of tedious office work because I knew that I was learning a unique skill on the side. People quit because it takes too long to see results, because they can't figure out that the process is the result.

>>24514031

>but don't complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer

But i've literally had many girls tell me, sometimes TO MY FACE, that what they like about these guys most IS that they're jerks. They're more interested in the jerkiness than anything else. While jerkiness and aggression may be signals that he can 'get things', it certainly shows to me that women like this should be avoided at all costs. I don't see why I shouldn't also talk about it openly and tell other men to beware.

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The bad news is that you have no other choice. If you want to work here, close.

Because in my non-expert opinion, you don't hate yourself because you have low self-esteem, or because other people were mean to you. You hate yourself because you don't do anything. Not even you can just "love you for you" -- that's why you're miserable and sending me private messages asking me what I think you should do with your life.

>Step One: Get up.

Do the math: How much of your time is spent consuming things other people made (TV, music, video games, websites) versus making your own? Only one of those adds to your value as a human being.

And if you hate hearing this and are responding with something you heard as a kid that sounds like "It's what's on the inside that matters!" then I can only say ...

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Being in the business I'm in, I know dozens of aspiring writers. They think of themselves as writers, they introduce themselves as writers at parties, they know that deep inside, they have the heart of a writer. The only thing they're missing is that minor final step, where they actually fucking write things.

But really, does that matter? Is "writing things" all that important when deciding who is and who is not truly a "writer"?

For the love of God, yes.

See, there's a common defense to everything I've said so far, and to every critical voice in your life. It's the thing your ego is saying to you in order to prevent you from having to do the hard work of improving: "I know I'm a good person on the inside." It may also be phrased as "I know who I am" or "I just have to be me."

Don't get me wrong; who you are inside is everything -- the guy who built a house for his family from scratch did it because of who he was inside. Every bad thing you've ever done has started with a bad impulse, some thought ricocheting around inside your skull until you had to act on it. And every good thing you've done is the same -- "who you are inside" is the metaphorical dirt from which your fruit grows.

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>>24513875
>>24513892
>>24513904
>>24513920
>>24513949
>>24513969
>>24513996
>>24514020
>>24514031
>>24514052
To be quite honest with you familia whilst I shake my head

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Notice how the camera is pointed up, and not at the base of the tree?

But here's what everyone needs to know, and what many of you can't accept:

"You" are nothing but the fruit.

Nobody cares about your dirt. "Who you are inside" is meaningless aside from what it produces for other people.

Inside, you have great compassion for poor people. Great. Does that result in you doing anything about it? Do you hear about some terrible tragedy in your community and say, "Oh, those poor children. Let them know that they are in my thoughts"? Because fuck you if so -- find out what they need and help provide it. A hundred million people watched that Kony video, virtually all of whom kept those poor African children "in their thoughts." What did the collective power of those good thoughts provide? Jack fucking shit. Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just as good as doing. It's an internal mechanism controlled by the lazy part of your brain to keep you from actually doing work.

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>I just wanted to tell you that you're in my thoughts. Good luck -- let me know if that cured you.

How many of you are walking around right now saying, "She/he would love me if she/he only knew what an interesting person I am!" Really? How do all of your interesting thoughts and ideas manifest themselves in the world? What do they cause you to do? If your dream girl or guy had a hidden camera that followed you around for a month, would they be impressed with what they saw? Remember, they can't read your mind -- they can only observe. Would they want to be a part of that life?

Because all I'm asking you to do is apply the same standard to yourself that you apply to everyone else. Don't you have that annoying Christian friend whose only offer to help anyone ever is to "pray for them"? Doesn't it drive you nuts? I'm not even commenting on whether or not prayer works; it doesn't change the fact that they chose the one type of help that doesn't require them to get off the sofa. They abstain from every vice, they think clean thoughts, their internal dirt is as pure as can be, but what fruit grows from it? And they should know this better than anybody -- I stole the fruit metaphor from the Bible. Jesus said something to the effect of "a tree is judged by its fruit" over and over and over. Granted, Jesus never said, "If you want to work here, close." No, he said, "Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire."

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The people didn't react well to being told that, just as the salesmen didn't react well to Alec Baldwin telling them that they needed to grow some balls or resign themselves to shining his shoes. Which brings us to the final point ...

>>24514112
>>24514078
>>24513946
>>>THIS IS TO YOU<<<
You are nothing but meat and guesses until you've proven your worth.

The human mind is a miracle, and you will never see it spring more beautifully into action than when it is fighting against evidence that it needs to change. Your psyche is equipped with layer after layer of defense mechanisms designed to shoot down anything that might keep things from staying exactly where they are -- ask any addict.

So even now, some of you reading this are feeling your brain bombard you with knee-jerk reasons to reject it. From experience, I can say that these seem to come in the form of ...

*Intentionally Interpreting Any Criticism as an Insult

"Who is he to call me lazy and worthless! A good person would never talk to me like this! He wrote this whole thing just to feel superior to me and to make me feel bad about my life! I'm going to think up my own insult to even the score!"

*Focusing on the Messenger to Avoid Hearing the Message

"Who is THIS guy to tell ME how to live? Oh, like he's so high and mighty! It's just some dumb writer on the Internet! I'm going to go dig up something on him that reassures me that he's stupid, and that everything he's saying is stupid! This guy is so pretentious, it makes me puke! I watched his old rap video on YouTube and thought his rhymes sucked!"

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*Focusing on the Tone to Avoid Hearing the Content

"I'm going to dig through here until I find a joke that is offensive when taken out of context, and then talk and think only about that! I've heard that a single offensive word can render an entire book invisible!"

*Revising Your Own History

"Things aren't so bad! I know that I was threatening suicide last month, but I'm feeling better now! It's entirely possible that if I just keep doing exactly what I'm doing, eventually things will work out! I'll get my big break, and if I keep doing favors for that pretty girl, eventually she'll come around!"

*Pretending That Any Self-Improvement Would Somehow Be Selling Out Your True Self

"Oh, so I guess I'm supposed to get rid of all of my manga and instead go to the gym for six hours a day and get a spray tan like those Jersey Shore douchebags? Because THAT IS THE ONLY OTHER OPTION."

And so on. Remember, misery is comfortable. It's why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort.

Also, courage. It's incredibly comforting to know that as long as you don't create anything in your life, then nobody can attack the thing you created.

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t's so much easier to just sit back and criticize other people's creations. This movie is stupid. That couple's kids are brats. That other couple's relationship is a mess. That rich guy is shallow. This restaurant sucks. This Internet writer is an asshole. I'd better leave a mean comment demanding that the website fire him. See, I created something.

Oh, wait, did I forget to mention that part? Yeah, whatever you try to build or create -- be it a poem, or a new skill, or a new relationship -- you will find yourself immediately surrounded by non-creators who trash it. Maybe not to your face, but they'll do it. Your drunk friends do not want you to get sober. Your fat friends do not want you to start a fitness regimen. Your jobless friends do not want to see you embark on a career.

Just remember, they're only expressing their own fear, since trashing other people's work is another excuse to do nothing. "Why should I create anything when the things other people create suck? I would totally have written a novel by now, but I'm going to wait for something good, I don't want to write the next Twilight!" As long as they never produce anything, their work will forever be perfect and beyond reproach. Or if they do produce something, they'll make sure they do it with detached irony. They'll make it intentionally bad to make it clear to everyone else that this isn't their real effort. Their real effort would have been amazing. Not like the shit you made.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fjXp3TuWlA

Just scanning through these posts, they seem to mostly come down to:

>The world is a really harsh, edgy place!
>Just deal with it! Suck it up and GO!

When this isn't really good advice at all. It's interesting that you post the link to that Alec Baldwin speech. Yeah, he gives this elaborate, edgy, over the top "this is how it is, deal with it" speech that motivates his workers to do his bidding, and you seem to model your arguments on this. But there are real issues here - is what they're doing good? moral? Does working in an environment where someone verbally assaults you like that have any value?

Your attitude is the typical normie "b urself". You haven't bothered to actually learn what the people here are dealing with (a huge variety of issues, all unique). You just want them to mindlessly jump up and work to fix Stacey's gunshot wounds.

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You need help tbqhwy

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Look at the kind of comments you can see here, or /co/, or /v/, or /tv/. It always boils down to "Stop creating. This is different from what I would have made, and the attention you're getting is making me feel bad about myself."

Don't be that person. If you are that person, don't be that person any more. This is what's making people hate you. This is what's making you hate yourself.

>What are you going to do with it? Hunt witches or kick off the Olympics?

So how about this: one year. The end of 2016, that's our deadline. Or a year from whenever you read this. While other people are telling you "Let's make a New Year's resolution to lose 15 pounds this year!" I'm going to say let's pledge to do fucking anything -- add any skill, any improvement to your human tool set, and get good enough at it to impress people. Don't ask me what -- hell, pick something at random if you don't know. Take a class in karate, or ballroom dancing, or pottery. Learn to bake. Build a birdhouse. Learn massage. Learn a programming language. Film a porno. Adopt a superhero persona and fight crime. Start a YouTube vlog. Start a shitty imageboard for the same kind of inbred chucklefuck you are. It's what a 14 year old weeb did, and now you're shitposting on it.

>>24514168
>>24514182
>>24514201

TLDR:

>If you disagree with me, it's not that I may be wrong - it's your own mind tricking you into failure!

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But the key is, I don't want you to focus on something great that you're going to make happen to you ("I'm going to find a girlfriend, I'm going to make lots of money ..."). I want you to purely focus on giving yourself a skill that would make you ever so slightly more interesting and valuable to other people.

>"Holy shit, by learning Spanish, I just gained the ability to speak to 400 million people I previously couldn't."

"I don't have the money to take a cooking class." Then fucking Google "how to cook." They've even filtered out the porn now, it's easier than ever. Damn it, you have to kill those excuses. Or they will kill you.

If you want to make note of your project your daily pointless blogposting or this stupid thread and check in this time next year, knock yourself out. I'll be curious to see if even one person actually does this, but if so we'll look back, not just on whether or not we actually followed through, but why. You have nothing to lose, and the world needs you. Here's a video of a corgi rolling down some stairs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mmfGIuib6g

>>24514250
Way to have the critical reading ability of a ten year old, Anon. You could not have proven his bluntly obvious point more spectacularly. In your idiotic flailing for some excuse, any excuse why your toxic and self-destructive lifestyle couldn't be any more than the total waste of carbon and potential that it was built around, you have concocted not only the retarded lie that you wish that post was, but the exact retarded lie that he warned you that you would kneejerk to.

Way to go, tiger.
You get a fucking good boy point.

Oh my god dude you really need a tl;dr. Aint no one gonna read that shit if 3 books in you're still at "truth" #1

>>24514357
just read the name of the posts

OMG SO HARSH IM LITERALLY CRYING OP
IM GOING TO CHANGE AND IMPROVE MYSELF
JUST STARTING TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO TIE A HANGMAN'S KNOT THANKS TO OP

>>24514306

There's no need to pretend you're not OP, OP.

What is self-destructive about my lifestyle? Do you know me?

All I did was disagree with you and point out how shitty your reasoning is, and you imply that I'm a failure in need of your help. You're like a religious nut.

what is this fucking cracked article

>>24514398
You didn't refute any point, dumbass. You didn't point out any shitty reasoning. You just did the lazy criticism that was already countered in the article. You're not a mad genius, you're just mad. Stop being so butthurt.

>>24514428

So once again, I calmly respond to you by posing a simple question in a levelheaded manner, and you respond with aggressive attacks and name-calling.

"Don't you see it's THE DEVIL telling you i'm wrong about Jesus?? Stop responding, stop question - that's your SINFUL nature speaking, sinner!"

But this isn't true. I know plenty of retards who can't do anything special and still have gfs.

did u just copy an entire jejune article from Cracked.com thinking it was such good advice that people on arcanine needed to hear it to turn their lives around.

>>24514459
You are so delusional that it is genuinely amazing.

>>24514473
Anything to combat the circlejerk. Echo chambers should always be prevented.

>>24514463
Then you don't know those retards as well as you think you do. Here's a shocker, chief: women are just as rational and self-interested as you are.

I envy these "wise" people who think they have the authority to give others life advice. I don't give a fuck about watches or BMWs, but the confidence must be nice.

>>24514550
do u even know that jejune means without googling it?

>>24514550

>You are so delusional that it is genuinely amazing.

You haven't helped anyone here, normie. You're not capable of any real degree of empathy or compassion, so you're simply incapable of seeing things from the perspective of robots.

>Anything to combat the circlejerk. Echo chambers should always be prevented.

r9k is not an 'echo chamber'. The rule is anonymous posting. Literally anyone on earth can come here and post their point of view and respond to other people's opinions without any significant fear of censorship.

>women are just as rational and self-interested as you are.

Are you 14?

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>>24514550
>>24514428
>arguing on a Mongolian mitten collecting forum

you guys are the real losers

>>24513875
you can't cure depressed people by shaming them. they already have too much self loathing, you're trying to put out a fire by pouring gasoline on it.

>>24514202
What's funny is that at the time, Baldwin's speech in that movie was supposed to be a parody of the motivation supervisors in sales give to workers. The movie Boiler Room pointed this out with the scene of a bunch of coked up bankers pretty much jerking off to that scene.

>>24514419
It is, from about 2-3 years ago.

kind of grim way of saying things, but whatever

>>24513969
>Tyler said, "You are not your job," but he also founded and ran a successful soap company
Wasn't he not real?

ok, so what do I do if I don't have any skills

fight club was making fun of what people raised by single mothers think masculinity is (punching people).

David Wong is a faggot and so are you

>>24515077
Just kill urself ;)

>>24515077
you practice whatever skill it is that you want to gain, didn't you read OP's collection of essays?

>>24515140
>didn't you read OP's collection of essays?
I read like half a post.

>defending the status quo

>>24514202
>Your attitude is the typical normie "b urself".
Not really. It's more like "you're shit, make yourself better by actually doing something".

http://m.imgur.com/a/vCsaj

Cracked is shit and the guy that wrote the OP post is why

I don't want to try to be a better person.

im tired of this nice guy strawman

wow op you're such a good and wise person

making the world a better place!

you should write about this thread in your memoir

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> David Wong

I make awesome oc edits and do it because I can, not because people ask for them.
I organize my things and keep them organized.
I know how to use power tools to build furniture and shelves.
I can lift heavy shit
I have a big dick and can edge for hours

I didn't read the last half of OP's posts because I knew what he was going to say. As cheesy as it all is, he's right, but difficult to take seriously due to his hubris.

>>24515257
wait.. thats the guy who wrote the op?

LMMFAO

dis-REGARDED

>>24513920
I love the scene, one of the reasons why I've watched this movie so much.

>having a job and fun hobbies makes you more attractive

No fucking shit and I didn't need some kuk sperglord from Cracked to tell me.

BTW my gf is gonna touch my peepee tonight

>>24513892
nobody will operate anyone in the street, you retard.Infections are a very real risk and usually more dangerous than sugery itself.
You're trying to manage the bleeding and get the injured to a hospital.

>Someone got shot we need to take to take the bullet out!

ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED THE BULLET ISNT KILLING THEM ITS THE GAPING HOLE IT MADE THAT THEY ARE BLEEDING FROM.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD JAMMING A KNIFE IN THEIR WOUND AND DIGGING INTO THEIR FLESH TO GET THE BULLET OUT HELP THEM YOU FUCKTARD?

>>24514168
its true tho you are here on 4chan also telling us this so why should we care what you say?

I have perfect pitch
I work at least 24 hours a week
I'm 6'0" tall
I'm not starving.
I have no physical disabilities

>writes all this shit
>works at cracked

if this guy followed his own fucking advice he wouldnt be writing those shitty articles all day and commenting retarded shit on reddit

Read this before, literally none of this matters if you're a black manlet and this is coming from a guy laying in bed next to his girlfriend. I am a short black male, I am also very funny, well spoken, come off as confident, and knowledgable about a variety of subjects.

Knowing how to play the guitar, slam dunk a basketball, or sing is not going to improve my life with women because the outstanding majority have already written me off in their head due to my height and my race, things I am unable to change.

There are simply too many men who can do all of the things I do well as well as be white and above 5'6 in height.

You and I both know you can't just cultivate a personality or talents and become successful with women, it's literally all genetics.

>>24514182
if can't change then change what you can

if you can't then let it go and live how you like but don't complain

>>24515429
its a terrible analogy

i have huge boobs...
the end.

>>24515541
I'd like to live a life where I fuck dozens of women like my tall handsome peers do solely as a result of being tall and handsome. I'm unable to based on things that I can not change. This article asserts that if I simply develop a skill or continue to work on my personality that I'll be able to fulfill a need and get women as a result but that's not true, nowhere near at the same rate or quality as my peers and it's because I'm short.

>>24515482
No, it's the bullet. Please kill yourself, ignorant.

>>24513892
gotta learn these skills somehow right?

im gonna operate on your wife, she'll most likely die. but atleast i learned something... i dont want to be a surgeon, not my thing ill just go back home and play some vidya.

oh.. uh sorry about your wife, kek

> absolute madman

>>24515598
tell OP this not me man

but yeah im not op but i also am 5'6 at 25 its tough man at least im not ugly.

>>24515589
Better post them or I'll have to waste a good boner I've already got.

Can someone screencap the posts and compile them into one image?

Thank you!

>>24513920
That scene was designed as satire about how utterly fucking ridiculous the saleperson world is. You all know that, right?

>>24515947
we do but does OP know?

OP said some real shit. I'm gonna admit I was called out, you fags can go ahead and keep being whiny bitches but I'm sick of being a whiny bitch. Fuck 4chan and fuck everyone in r9k, I'm out.

I feel I've read all this shit somewhere before

>>24513920
This movie's always made me want to get into real estate for some reason.

>>24513875
Fuck this cracked tier just b urself advice. And if you thought that the GGR scene was motivational, you're an idiot

>>24514428
>hah! you must be so mad bro gosh i sure made you mad why are so so mad bro

The way this is written really, really makes me fucking angry. You can tell the author of this article fingers his own arsehole while thinking about how much of a saviour he is. In reality, though, he's a chump writing shitty articles for a shitty site

>>24516344
It's a shitty Cracked article

Saving this thread. I knew about every single truth listed here I just need to be knocked upside the head with reality once in a while to remind me.

I'm surprised at the negative replies in this thread. Even though David Wong is a massive kuck how can you not see these points as worth giving serious thought?

6. The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You

4. What You Produce Does Not Have to Make Money, But It Does Have to Benefit People

2. What You Are Inside Only Matters Because of What It Makes You Do

I would say "truths" 6, 4 and 2 are fairly on line with the stuff that gets repeated here day after day. This is the complete opposite of "just b urself".


3. You Hate Yourself Because You Don't Do Anything

1. Everything Inside You Will Fight Improvement

These 2 points should in no way be seen as "truths". Still, they are worth considering.
You read these 2 points and think about it. Do they apply to you? No? Very nice, you can just disregard them, no problem. Yes, you think it applies to you? You may have learnt a tiny bit more about yourself, or if you already knew this you got a reminder.

You can choose for yourself what you want to do with this information.

Any of you guys mind giving me your thoughts about why you think the article sucks? Like I said, I'm totally perplexed by the reactions here.

stopped reading when you mentioned cracked. Fuck off david, we don't want to click on your shitty website.

this is a David Wong article from cracked. I hate David Wong he's such a self righteous ass. All of us articles are about why you personally are shit and why you'll never get better

Which clickbait article did you get this bullshit from OP?

I'm too tired and lazy
but I stopped caring,died a long time ago
so this corpse will just w/e until it corpses

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tl;dr

lmao nerd

The fact that you copy pasted this entire article is ridiculously ironic.

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>>24517446
because you're capitalizing every word in every sentence you stupid fuck

>>24513875
I read this on cracked years ago when I didn't even know /r9k/ existed and here I am today. It almost seems like it is bullshit advice.

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>people will only value you for what they can get from you
>so become someone that others can value!

You could do this, and spend your life trying to please others and make them value you. You would be just a tool for wealth, entertainment, love and whatever.

Would this really make you happy? To be useful? To be useful literally means you would just be something for others to use...

There is no happiness in the end of this road.
Happiness must be found within oneself.

>>24514602
You have absolutely no reason to believe that I've never been in your shoes, fucktard. You aren't a unique martyr. There's millions of you in our generation, and I was one of them. You are the only one victimizing yourself.

>>24515511
Four of those are what you are, numbnuts. You utterly failed the exercise, and your dumb ass doesn't even realize it.

i want cracked to leave

>>24518820
Are you so fucking uneducated that you don't know how titles work?

>>24514600
i just looked it up and learnt a new word today, thank you /r9k/

>>24519173
All advice is bullshit.
If they are right, they get all the glory.
If they are wrong, then is your fault for listening to them.

The only thing worthy of respect is skin on the game. Risking your own worth and status to help others. Not telling them what to do.

What OP or cracked is doing here is just noise. Rationalizations.

>>24515257
I can see that this guy only cares about being social approved.