>be me
>7th grade kid in elementary school
>ride bus to school every day from/to the country into the city for school
>1 hour bus ride each way, one of the last kids to be dropped off after school
>boring as fuck
>bus seating, generally arranged in a hierarchy with youngest grades at the front (starting with grade 1), and oldest at the back
>kids at back of bus usually super rowdy, bullies etc.
>holy shit
>i am in the oldest grade on the bus this year
>proceed to claim back seat like a boss, friends in my grade doing same, or in second last to the back seat
>daily, i create mischief to entertain myself on the long bus ride home
>micro Sam. one grade younger than me. really small for his age
>i come up with an idea
>"Sam, crawl under the seats on the bus and quietly steal kids backpacks and bring them back here"
>he is tiny
>he slithers under the bus seats like some kind of micro ferret
>he successfully sneaks backpacks from kids on both sides of the bus
>backpack pile amassing in a seat near the back
>as kids are dropped off, they panic
>bags are missing
>bus driver does not believe them, says they must have left it at school
>forces them to get off the bus without their bag
>keks are had
>dare another kid on the bus, James (same grade as me, super ADHD) to start dropping the bags out a window so the bus driver won't find them later
>he does it
>do this a few times over a couple weeks
>not entertaining enough anymore
>normal friend Chris: has a retarded older brother, retarded Steve, who rides the bus with us (held back several grades)
>everyone treats retarded Steve with respect out of respect for Chris. retarded Steve sits sort of in the middle of the bus and we don't really interact with him much anyways
>Chris doesn't show up to school for a few days
>Chris is sick with the mono
>he will be gone for a while
>bored as fuck on hot bus ride home one day
>ask retarded Steve to come sit near the back with us so we can talk to him
>retarded Steve is obsessed with the tv show home improvement
>constantly trying to imitate Tim Allen grunt noise, whatever the fuck you call it, "daarrroooouh?"
>he is farting all the time and it smells disgusting
>open windows to vent the stench
>still bored
>command micro Sam to collect backpacks for my amusement
>the last time he collected them, the week before, we did stuff like swap the contents between bags, then micro Sam would troll back under the seats and put the bags back
>don't even understand to this day how no one ever noticed him doing this
>micro Sam appears from under the seat, dragging a lunch bag
>"i took this out of a bag"
>don't know why he decided to extract the lunch bag, i think to prove how stealthy he is
>it's a standard lunch bag. purple, the kind that is soft and sort of in the shape of a triangle that closes at the top with velcro
>get an idea
>dare retarded Steve shit in the lunch bag
>he doesn't understand at first
>explain to him. drop pants and shit in the lunch bag
>he understands, but is reluctant. me and Sam begin pressuring him
>tell him we do it all the time
>can tell he has to shit from the constant farting
>he decides to do it
>omfgyes.dll.zip.exe
>he pulls his pants down and puts his feet sort of up on the seat in front of him
>micro Sam hands him the opened lunch bag
>retarded Steve holds it up to his ass and lets it rip
>the shit explodes into the bag, propelled by tons of gas
>jesusfuckthesmell.bat
>laughing so hard i am crying.
>micro Sam is laughing so hard his laughter is silent
>look at the bus driver. she didnt hear. bus is still loud as fuck from all the kids
>look at retarded Steve
>he is putting the lunch bag on the floor under his seat and pulling his pants back up
>look at the lunch bag
>somehow all of the shit went into the bag. completely shit free on the outside. it is a school bus miracle
>tell retarded steve to close it and give it to micro Sam
>retarded steve hands the bag across the aisle
>look at micro Sam
>he is disgusted by the smell. i can tell by the look in his eyes that he knows what im going to say next
>"Sam, you have to put that lunch bag back in the bag you got it from"
>he smiles with sadistic agreement
>micro Sam gets onto the floor and begins carefully maneuvering the shit bag under the seat with him for the journey towards the front of the bus
>bus is speeding down a straight highway just outside the city
>the bus driver actually speeds on the highways everyday
>she is a terrible and scary driver
>it happens
>some random dog or something runs out onto the road (not actually clear on what it was, some kind of largeish brown animal, might have been a deer actually)
>bus driver slams on the brakes. bus comes to a complete stop
>hear a loud yell from about the middle of the bus, almost a scream
>its micro Sam
>hear loud crying, more yelling
>micro Sam, while delivering the retard shit bag, got thrown forwards under the seats
>his body squished the bag. he is covered in shit
>he is screaming and crying, pulling his way from under a seat into the aisle
>he begins vomiting into the aisle. the shit went in his mouth, nose, probably eyes
>micro Sam fucked his neck up, hit it against one of the seat pillars
>bus driver freaks the fuck out. unbuckles her seat belt and stands up yelling "what is going on" over and over again
>bus driver sees shit covered, vomiting, injured micro Sam in the aisle crying and screaming
>retarded Steve begins freaking out
>i am afraid of retarded Steve. he is prone to violent outbursts and has incredible retard strength. have seen him knock out a kid while waiting for the bus
>thankfully retarded Steve just begins moaning loudly and bashing his head into the seat in font of him
>bus driver calls 911
>we wait. stench is overwhelming on the hot bus, no air moving through the windows anymore due to the bus movement
>bus driver approaches micro Sam to help him, then backs away from him as she realizes there is shit all over him and the floor
>micro Sam is sobbing in a huge puddle of his vomit and retard shit
>other kids begin puking from the smell
>total chaos
>an ambulance comes and extracts micro Sam
>his neck is actually broken. medics strap him to the stretcher thing and drive away
>parents are arriving on the highway to get their kids
>my parents ask me what happened when they arrive, ask what happened to micro Sam (he used to come over sometimes to play video games)
>say i have no idea what happened. play dumb
>i'm freaking out internally
>next day at school
>principal makes announcement at the morning assembly about the incident, says to pray for micro Sam
>there's going to be an investigation
>ohfuck.jpg.rar
>there are cameras on the school busses in our city. we all thought they were fake though and just to scare us. they look like a black box with a dark plastic circle in the center
>turns out they actually have a camera in them
>next week at school. get called to the principal's office
>there is a fucking police officer there with my principal
>they have a TV on a wheel cart
>the officer puts a VHS tape into the VCR on the lower rack
>holy. fuck.
>see me and micro Sam at the back of the bus. see retarded Steve go to the back of the bus
>there is no sound. just black and white video
>see micro Sam hand a lunch bag to retarded Steve. a while later retarded Steve hands it back across the aisle
>about a minute later, see the shit spray out from under a seat on the right
>shortly after micro Sam is clawing his way into the aisle. begins vomiting
>officer pauses the tape
>principal and police officer begin demanding answers and explanations
>i blame everything on retarded Steve
>say it is not the first time he has shit on the bus into some kind of bag
>have no explanation for how micro Sam suddenly appears halfway up the bus, on the ground, brutally injured and covered in retard shit
>say he must have rolled under the seats when the bus braked because he is so small
>[email protected]
>begin bawling my eyes out. inconsolable
>principal gets uncomfortable, asks officer to leave
>tells me its okay
>get sent home. parents are called to pick me up
>never see micro Sam again in my life
>he never comes back to school
>neck is permanently fucked up or something
>retarded Steve gets sent to a special school somewhere else
>never see him again either
still laugh every time i remember the retard shit bag bus incident of grade 7.
Holy kek, you're the hero /r9k/ deserves
Mischievousthe robot is a poopy face
