What was the most autistic thing you ever did /r9k/?
telling myself that I actually had a chance
>>24493337
I got muted on /r9k/ for making an unoriginal comment
>>24493337
Brought to school and wore a naruto headband
:/
>>24493366
damn i feel sorry for you
>>24493366
I still have mine hanging on my mirror in my car
>tfw im too damn lazy to take it off
I own a 100% authentic Ecuadorian wool fedora.
In my defence, my brother bought it for me because I was Ill at the time.
>inb4 normie
Cummed inside of an ex. I then cried and ranted about how I'm not ready to man up and raise a kid afterwords.
She wasn't pregnant and I got dumped for being immature.
>>24493378
Isn't that a bit large to hang from your mirror?
>>24493366
>>24493378
i wish i was this cool but i didnt have the balls
i also never watched naruto
>>24493337
started talking out loud when I was by myself and remembering something retarded I did
>>24493392
>even putting your dick in unprotected
Why the fuck do people think pulling out works?
>>24493337
What is her ethnicity? She's delicious.
>>24493403
That's normal.
I'll be doing something, painful memory pops up, SHITFUCKWEREYOUFUCKINGSTUPIDBITCHNIGGER
>>24493348
This one chick, loved her so much, we talked, turns out she liked me but no longer because we are too good of friends, I kept telling myself I had a chance, she had a boyfriend at that point
4th grade
Brought my build-a-bear to school
Technically it was a wolf
A friend asked me to be her boyfriend when I was 8 or 9 and I said I'd have to ask my parents first.
>>24493485
Sounds similar to my story
I talked to this one girl a few months ago, we had similar interests
she was a sweet person, and seemed to not mind being around me, but I was way more infatuated with her than vice versa
I only met her that one time. I have her number but I fucked things up by being too clingy. I asked her out a few times by text (I can't get to her irl that often) and she kept making excuses.
I still think about her everyday and it's been 3 months. This is fucking hell.
>>24493513
are you a boy?
I went to high school one day with a overcoat and a samurai katana.
>>24493545
Didn't you get arrested?
>>24493378
why dont you just light that shit on fire you autistic fuck?
>>24493392
>homosuck
autism?
>>24493558
No.
Even the teachers wanted to touch the katana.
This shit was back in 2001 or something.
>>24493544
Yeah. Looking back now, it probably isn't that bad, but I wonder what made me think it was a good idea to say that,
Went to my senior prom in a pokemon themed suit.
If someone gets dubs I'll post it.
>>24493530
This girl also said I was bangable, not a day goes past where I dont think about her. Life is fucked
>>24493594
e-z p-z
>>24493578
it was autistic because its gay.
>>24493337
Drinking beyond my limit and going full retard mode approaching the opposite sex
>>24493622
noice, deliver
>>24493337
Ex gf/wife decided my future for me and us. I felt played and used.
I painted myself purple one day and went to school that day.
I thought my friend was gonna do it too, but he didn't. So I was purple for a day and it was weird.
Chad beat the shit out of me and tried to throw me off a 3story building for calling his gf a whore, other guys came to rescue me.I was so embressed. They mocked me for trying to start a fight with a Chad.My nose was bleeding.had to go to the doctor. After hearing the whole thing the doctor cracked out a smile.
>>24493594
>>24493622
>>24493644
DOUBLE DELIVER!!!!
I literally just woke up about 10 minutes ago because I wet the bed again.
>>24493699
>>24493622
>>24493644
will it ever stop?
>>24493594
better fuggin deliver
>>24493707
What the fuck nigger, how?
Maybe stop drinking before bedtime you toddler.
>>24493594
deliver fagotron
>>24493337
saw this same thread on /fit/ earlier
stop crossboard posting you normie cunt kek
>>24493408
because it does? have you ever had sex before? Ive been fucking all my gfs for years without condoms and birth control and never had one scare. Pre cum has no actual cum and unless you're going for 2-3 rounds a day youre completely fine as long as you piss a few times in between
>>24493622
>>24493699
whoa, anon deliver
here, i offer dubs'uh
>>24493366
I did the same shit in middle school
>>24493751
this same thread is posted every fucking day anyway
>>24493337
>be middle school
>ride bus home after school
>bully rides same bus
>bully confronts me
>I start laughing like related https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wTcguJZh3A
>autistic mind thought it would give me power over them
>students on bus stare at me like i'm insane
>even the bus driver is staring
JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP
>>24493707
Are you a girl?that's my fetish
>>24494029
No. I'm not even attractive.
>>24493337
Spaghettied while I was on a date with a girl.
She never spoke to me again
>>24494019
You really have autism mate
I was at school, and one time someone left their hairbrush on one of the sinks, so I took it and flushed it down the toilet and it started gurgling so I ran the fuck out of there.
>>24494061
you shou;ld try this version :)
>>24493689
of course his name is fucking chad
>6th or 7th grade
>friend and his younger brother came over
>playing timesplitters or some shit
>we get really into it, get mad and shit
>want to playfully throw something at him to make him mess up
>nothing nearby except
>Elmer's glue bottle
>what could go wrong
>I'm on my bed kinda far away
>don't know how hard to throw, don't want it to land before him but don't want to actually hurt him
>chuck it
>fuck that was hard as fuck
>fucking explodes on his head all in his long hair
>doesn't say anything just looks at me like dude what the fuck
>goes homesorry Mark
>that hand turkey captcha
the fuck was that google, cute as fuck
>>24494019
well did the bully do shit?
Really didn't want to type this but...
>physics class
>teacher handing out test
>some popular girl for the 5th time, in response to are there any questions goes "can we have the answers?"
>go full on Stewie from family guy on her
>"so original, so funny. Such a fresh joke. ha ha"
>on and on everyone watching me I just can't stop
Yeah pretty autistic, just, don't know why that bothered me so much.
Bitch you're all cheating anyway.
>>24494019
did you continue attending the same school?
did people continue to associate with you?
Draw a load of dicks on a 9/11 book owned by my highschool
>>24493337
Creating a normiebook account was a mistake. Glad I came to my senses and deleted it years ago.
>>>/v/317651094
MY AUTISM CAN'T HANDLE THIS
oooOOOOooOOOOOooo
>>24493408
Its worked for me for the last 11 years
>>24493337Wrote a guro fanfiction of my waifu being pregnant and dying in a terrible way. And I don't have a guro fetish. Pls no bully ;-;
>>24495081
>getting off on your waifu dying
>>24493366
I did that for half of my grade 9 year.
>>24495103
That's the thing though. I didn't get off to it. I just wrote it off a whim. Like writing a creepypasta pretty much.
>be me in kindergarten
>first day of school
>probably have ADHD but parents are against taking me to the doctors or drugging me
>get super unfocused and get hyper
>school is almost over
>teacher tells us to go back to our seats
>"OK, class, it looks like class is over for today!"
>I stand up, taller than all the other kids
>lift up my shirt
>start whooping and slapping my belly because can't contain autism
>cheer for a solid three seconds before I realized I was alone
>everyone is staring at me in confusion and disappointment.
Wtf is wrong with me
>>24495248
That's just how kindergarteners are dude
A qt girl started talking to me in 7th grade and I tried to act like a chad, the problem was I didn't know how so when she asked me a qestion I told her to shut the fuck up and quit her bitching.
We never spoke again.
well this one time i thought it would be cool to poast the same image over and over again
well this one time i thought it would be cooI to poast the same image over and over again
welI this one time i thought it would be cool to poast the same image over and over again
weIl this one time i thought it would be cool to poast the same image over and over again
>hump school desk through jeans thinking no one would notice
>yell like im link doing my forms in karate class
>scream like im a dbz character powering up in fitness test in gym glass
>force eye contact with a girl everytime i see her in the hallway because i think shes into me, she really thought i was crazy
>read inuyasha fanfic smut in library, jack off in bathroom
>order porn on direct tv and try to get cousin to watch it with me, tell her im going to jack off and to leave when she says no
welI this one time i thought it would be cooI to poast the same image over and over again
Maybe not really autistic but I always get a boner when I think about dying. Especially dying as a result of getting shot. Whenever I imagine being shot and the life draining out of me, my dick gets rock hard.
>around 10 years old
>camping trip with school
>hiking innawoods
>really need to take a shit
>every step i'm taking is pushing this giant shit log further and further out of my anus
>eventually the shit comes all the way out, sitting sideways across my ass cheeks
>eventually people start smelling it
>ohfuck.mpeg
>teacher tells us to check our feet for poop
>smell is still there after like 30 minutes
>teacher starts walking around the group to find the source of the smell
>in a sudden spur of genius I decide to start a spontaneous game of tag in the hopes i could dispose of the shit behind a tree
>run away
>as i'm running the shit log falls out of my shorts whilst i'm screaming "CAN'T CATCH ME!"
>>24495351
>>24495357
>>24495363
>>24495378
>>24495387
thats not even a ;3 smiley retard
>>24495429
weII this one time i thought it would be cool to poast the same image over and over again
>>24495363
>>24495378
>>24495387
robot pls
>>24495456
well this one time l thought it would be cool to poast the same image over and over again
>>24493337
Any more pics of this girl? The disgust on her face really turns me on.
I was into black metal.
>>24495486
Just go talk to any girl in real life, you will see that face often
>>24495427
>10 years old
>not knowing you can just go shit behind a tree
Damn, that's autistic.
pissed myself at school during a test when I was a 14 year old emo fuccboi
I was, and still slightly am, into EDM
Not my story but he is probably a robot now so fuck it
>fifth grade
>standardized testing time, so kids are all sitting spread out and not allowed to leave unless it's an emergency (bathroom emergencies included)
>out of nowhere it starts smelling of an awful shit smell
> no one allowed to talk so people are just exchanging glances trying to figure out what the fuck it is
>testing goes on forever, we all have to just sit in it
>eventually kids move away from the side of the room it seems to be worse at by slowly scooting their desks
>figure I will never know the phantom shitter
But then it happened
>really fucking weird kid, who is what I now realize a textbook autist, approaches me during the first break an hour and a half later or so after the smell appears
>let's call him josh j
>he comes up all hushed and weird trying to talk to only me
>"hey you know that smell? Don't tell anyone please..don't tell anyone..but it was me. I couldn't hold it and I didn't think I was allowed to leave so it all just.. Came gushing out like a big volcano."
>ohgodwhatthefuck
Direct quotes from him. I remember it so vividly. That volcano metaphor instantly disgusted me
>he leaves and goes to the bathroom or office or something, I don't remember exactly besides him not coming back.
And then of course later I told every single one of my friends under the guise of 'keeping it between us'.
Pretty sure im part of the reason he became a total outcast from then on and went through the rest of the school system in special classes for retarded/ behavior problem kids.
Sorry Josh, I don't know why you trusted me. All we did was draw pictures together and talk about starwars sometimes.
> Be 11 years old
> Fall head-over-heels in love, to the point of obsession with the girl in the neighbouring house
> My pre-teen emotions can't fully comprehend or express my emotions
> Act out in increasingly aggressive and obsessive ways
> She only likes me as a friend (and we were good friends to be fair)
> One day, I come up with a brilliant idea to get her to like me
> Wait until I see her playing outside with her friends
> Go up her, pull down my pants and 'moon' her with my bare ass
> She screams and runs away, haven't spoken to her properly since
> Go from a well-liked kid in the neighbourhood to the 'weird one' who everyone only just about tolerates.
11 years later, she's still my neighbour and I still desperately love her.
I ruined the best thing to happen to my life in a moment of sheer, unadulterated autism. (and I'm not even bloody autistic)
Just liked one of the guys status 5 mins ago on facebook. He was talking to my ex. She is gonna know I'm stalking her.
>>24493604
Move on man. I know it's really hard, but it's the only thing you can do. Try to spend your time in other things or activities and eventually you will forget her.
>few years ago
>at a loud, crowded student bar with a friend, just passing through
>girl I know sees me
>she's with her friends
>3 in total
>starts talking to me/loosely flirting (;
>can barely hear shit they're saying tbqh
>pause in conversation, guess it's my turn to speak
>show them a box of fruit&nuts I had in my pocket, point at it, smile awkwardly and just say "I have nuts(:"
>can literally hear the sound of three vaginas collectively shrivelling up and dying
>I'd replaced the oxygen molecules in the air with pure materialised cringiness
>>24494105
Nope.
>>24494392
Still attended. Only outcast would acknowledge me, and even then I was still treated like shit desu
>School drama class
>We gotta put on an improv comedy class
>My group's turn
>Everyone starts giggling
>I think it's because they're loving it
>Turns out when a character knocked me out and I fell to the ground, I thought it'd be good to turn away from the stage
>Everyone saw my ass crack
>>24493567
>4chan
autism?
>>24493337
when i was 15 a 9/10 girl who sat next to me and I had a huge crush on wrote "I'm so horny" on my french worksheet and I didn't pick up on it as a sign
>>24493760
Pre-cum contains cum if it's still in your tract. The whole purpose of pre-cum is to clean you up before the actual cum comes out. If you wanked that day and still have cum inside, there's a chance you might get you gf pregnant. My friend got pregnant that way.
>>24496916
Stop shitposting mio
>>24493366
And then you used smileys on 4chan.
>>24493337
I'll post it later.
>>24494056
Who cares, I get compensation for it.
>>24494137
pretty cool if u managed to deliver it properly but u probably didnt
>be me @12
>Homeschooled until 8th grade
>Never talked to any girls and always got nervous
>Doing science project
>have to go all the way to elementary printer room cause printer is broke
>Two girls followed me to get their paper too
>Me and two girls are in the same room getting paper and cutting it with the machines.
>Dead quiet
"So I was in the men's bathroom and I saw someone wrote 'Carl is hot' on the wall "
>Chuckle
"Get it? cause it's the mens bathroom"
>Awkwardly laugh a little
>They both glance at me and give me strange looks
>I gather my paper and quickly leave
I cringed
Maybe not the most autistic thing I've done, but it's something. I used to play Starcraft II back when it just came out, and now that the final expansion is out, I am into it again. I'm very good at imitating voices. Once when I was in the train I was a bit lost in my mind, and realized I was sitting there with a blank expression saying things like "Phase crystals charged" and "fight or flight, yeah right"
>>24493366
I gifted a naruto headband to a girl.
when people talk to me i just dont say anything back and i usually get away from them quickly
i cant think of anything to say back ever, not even a single word
>>24493337
>stole roommates spaghetti colander
>put it in toilet
>pewp
>save giant shit
>put it in the freezer
>next night I threw the frozen turd through their front bay windows, shattering it.
I brought a bullet to show and tells one kid complained and I threaten to shoot him
>the 5th grade
>>24493337
>be me
>be 9 years old
>find out masturbation makes me feel good
>start masturbating every chance i get
>one of these moments is the individual shower we had to take before going to the pool in gym class
>i masturbate every time i go, i come on the shower wall and everything
>just put my dick back in my speedo and go to the edge of the pool with all the others (girls and boys)
>a few months later gym teacher announces annual swimming competition
>I'm to only one to take swimming lessons outside of school
>i'm fucking fast as shit for a 9 yo faggot
>"i'm definitely going to be picked"
>I'm picked as a "replacement", basically got put on the bench
>get to sit through entire competition looking at kids that are way slower than me wrestle for a medal
>my fucking team wins
>no medals available for replacements
>whole team gets a medal, I dont
>i fucking swim faster than them tho
>I spend my whole life being angry at that gym teacher for not "recognizing my speed"
>years later I'm tripping hard and I finally realize
>the teacher didn't pick me because every time he saw me in my swimming gear he saw a tiny kid boner staring back at him and was worried I'd do it again at the race
so yeah pretty autistic as a kid
Bring a kitchen knife to the playground because some girls were making fun of me.
Told my mom i was going burn the house down with her in it because i heard her talking about me on the phone.
>>24493337
my friends and i formed a elder scrolls inspired thieves guild and stole a bunch of valuable shit from my high school. we got suspended for three days and almost got tried as adults in court but luckily we got the teen diversion program.
>>24498827
here's another one from me
>be 9 or 10 years old
>best mate of mine lives right next door
>we see each other every single day, play basketball, go into the forest together and shit
>one day we're in his room and somehow we start talking about kissing and stuff
>I don't remember how but I end up tonguekissing my buddy to show him how it's done
>I still remember to this day that I got pretty grossed out because he had wires on his teeth and there were pieces of that nights dinner stuck underneath
>so we just keep on talking like nothing happend
>then we start talking about gays and he asks "well how do they have sex if they're not girls"
>i swear to god we both got naked to our underwear (we were fucking 10 remember) and I dry humped him from the back to show him
the worst about this is that we kept a normal relationship going for years after that
I really don't know how we did it but it lasted for at least 5 years after the incident
>Be in class
>Basically always get the highest in the class
>Teacher walks next to my seat, says anon was the highest mark
>Reach for it, but its for the guy behind me with the same name
Pretty embarrassing, but I wasn't overly mocked, since the teacher kind of rused me into it.
>>24495069
shhh you dont have to pretend like youve had sex everyone here know youhavent
>>24498926
how could I ever have forgotten about this one
>be 16 years old
>just got out of a 2yr relationship with a chick
>a lot of fucking going on between the two of us (both horny kids, as you can guess from my previous stories)
>meet a new girl
>she's cool af
>after two weeks and tickets to a movie, she's now officially my new GF
>I don't realize that she is even hornier than I am
>after a week of "being together", we go to a "camp fire party" together
>obviously sleep in the same tent because we're together
>she starts sucking me off
>at some point she stops and tells me she wants me to fuck her
>she's a virgin, I just got out of a relationship and I know this is just some fuck to me but not to her
>i tell her I don't want to do it "you deserve a better first time than this"
>end up jacking off by myself (and onto myself) in the tent next to her
>break up with her per text the next day
few wears later
>she randomly texts me
>I remember that we went out together, that she looked alright so i text back flirting
>she totally wants the D
>she ends up sending me stuff like "what do you want me to wear"
>i'm answering shit like "a skirt so i can just pull it up and fuck you" you know the retarded shit
>she says "ok i'm coming over tomorrow" i drunkenly go "ok sure"
>next day i wake up at like 8AM (it's a sunday) and I get nauseous because I'm somehow afraid of having to fuck this broad
>i text her to stay home cause i don't have time to get condoms (dat excuse ladies and gents)
>she says "no problem i got some"
>i freak the fuck out, tell her she can't come over
>last thing I remember is her texting me "i really wanted to fuck you, don't behave like a little bitch"
to this day i masturbate to her current profile pictures
>>24493366
No fear, every school had a kid like this.
You couldn't really know what he was doing unless you watched the anime.
>>24493337
>inna 10th grade
>circa 2009
>get girls phone number from my math class
>start texting her
>she ignores me
>if she doesnt reply with in like 10 minutes ill resend the text
>do that multiple times
>dont get the message that she doesnt want to talk to me
>text her like all the time after school
>never verbally talk to her when i see her
goddammit
>>24493760
>>24495069
did your school not have sex ed? how can you be so aggressively uninformed?
>>24493337
>Tried to introduce a girl I liked to furry roleplaying.
>bring up communism with dentist
>make mother a vodka drink in the morning because she enjoyed one of those at the party last night
There is more. A lot more. I am literally autistic, you see.
I didnt have any clean clothes, so i went to school in full vocaloid cosplay.
Starting to visit /r9k/ on a daily basis
>>24495684
HOLY SHIT YOU REKT HIM
>>24493392
You're still a normalfag. You're just a normalfag that's a bitch
I once cornered a girl and spent 30 minutes talking about 16th century eastern european geopolitics
>>24499114
> Whimsical daydreams of the lonely virgin: Part 2.
>>24499417
have you read the two stories I posted previous to that one ?
if not : read them, it will convince you of the fact that this is 100% real
>>24499216
Kek that some serious autism
Sexually dominated and mind-broke a girl over deviantart chat
>>24493366
You were practically a child when you did that. Kids do stupid shit all the time, so don't fret too much about that.
If it makes you feel any better, back when I was in college, there was this grad student who used to wear the headband and the weird metal shiny leaf gauntlets and would run with his hands behind his back in the halls.
It was weird as hell for 18 year old me and my friends in our Circuits class watching our teacher act like an autist while at the same time administering our tests for the class.
He used to draw crude drawings of Naruto and Sakura on the board whenever we took tests and everything.
Dude must have been 25 at the time. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if he is still acting like this at the halls of my Uni.
>>24493392
She dumped you for being a pussy, not for being "immature". She just worded it nicely so she wouldn't have to suffer hearing you whine and cry about it.
She didn't need that kind of weakness in her life, or in her genepool for that matter.
>>24495351
reported ;^) a
I counted out both of my meds to see if they matched up and one bottle had 2 more pills than the other and it bugged the shit out of me
>>24493568
Columbine was just a few years earlier.
>>24493337
i came on that girl in the pictures hair and she noticed it
For how many days has OP been posting this picture series now?
>>24497898
That's why I make sure to pee a few times before orgasms.
>>24497898
>believing your roastie friend
>>24493760
you are literally a nigger
>>24493408
It works and it feels great. I can't achieve orgasm with a condom on. Sometimes I even lose my erection.
>>24498573
I dont get it
original comment
>>24495823
I like EDM mate
>>24493337
>be me
>have a few friends
>decide to prank text this grill who I secretly like
>send some dum shit
>she says fuck off
>I say fuck on
what the fuck is wrong with me
>>24493337
Got diagnosed with autism, felt pretty autistic in that moment tbqh
>>24493337
Getting back with my e-gf after she kissed someone else.
>>24494046
>date
Get out normie
>speak to girl for a long time
>"wow, anon, you're really {inser good adjective here] about almost everything
>just never took "real" photos of my face, just went for good angles etc - which still looked shitty
>finally ask her out cause I was drunk
>she's really happy about it
>we meet up, get awkward hug and talk etc
>after movie
>"well, this has been .. fun.. anon."
>swift hug before she leaves by bus
>swiftly text her "I'm cooler online hehe"
>"yes you are"
>last words she said to me
>>24500523
Normie is reddit meme
Get the fuck out
>>24499029
That's not even fucking autistic. What the fuck is your problem?
Sent an e-mail to my ex apologizing for being an awful person towards the end of our relationship. Probably considered really cringey but I poured my feelings and almost a years' worth of thinking into it.
>>24493392
u had sex, even without condom, fuckin normie get out
>>24493707
i stopped at 12. ow old are you still?
>>24493511
Dude holy fuck me too!
>>24498763
Neet nest bro!
>>24501398
Same except mine was an internet gf from myanimelist. I also told my family and eventually therapist about her. That chick made me shed a retarded amount of tears, realized online relationships are shit entirely tho.
>>24496245
oh yes you sure are faggot
>>24493366
I wore goggle to school once so I could look like the guy from Digimon.
Luckily I was only four, I mean who would do that at an older age?
wore a suit and fedora everyday to school for the first year of high school literally
Don't make me dig up the pictures
>Discover Phoenix Wright in 2007, and first year of secondary school
>Become obsessed with it
>Literally try to make people call me Phoenix
>Reference it a lot in stupid ways (someone would do something to me and when they say why I'm pissed I'd say shit like "I won't forget DL-6" an incident in the game)
>Found out that the sprites of Phoenix Wright can be found on the internet and I started putting them in my powerpoint presentations
Honestly, 2007-9 was the most autistic time of my life. I also go into anime and started to sit like L from Death Note in chairs, and tried to get an art teacher I liked into anime and Phoenix Wright
It's all a blur now.
>>24500388
>she says fuck off
>I say fuck on
Goddamit anon
>>24498219
>mio
As in k-on?
Do I get to see mio's ass crack?
>>24502852
That would be too lewd. She would cry. Nobody wants that.
> twelfth grade
> have waifu
> horny teenager, don't want to degrade her by fapping to her, fap to other women, 2d and 3dpd
> realize it's cheating on my waifu to do that
> still incredibly horny, mull it over
> decide that I need to break up with my waifu, she deserves better than me
> end our relationship, feel like shit
> don't end up having sex that year
> still no sex
> I lost my waifu for nothing
>>24495427
legendary
Played animalkaiser instead of doing my dinner for my cat, got a magma inferno card
