>Meanwhile on medieval /r9k/...
>>24479984
>tfw pauper tier villagers keeping my pockets lined
>Why do you keep collecting these tapestries of women with 'members'?
>that sentiment when no qt alabaster virgin maiden
Medieval r9k is pretty much a monastery
>>24479984
>tfw Sir Chaddington and his legion of knights raped my wife and set fire to my little hut
>>24480122
>wife
I want the normans to leave
>tfw you were born too early to get her people addicted to opium
verily, my state is melancholic
>fuedalkeks
>Tfw Mary of Cuetie invites you to dance with her at the harvest festival, but you believe it was simply in jest as her father surely will betrothe her to Matthias of Chahd
I'm just gonna explore that cave in the lord's forest and look at the symbols someone drew
>>24480140
she be my wife in name only. I'm still a virgin, while Sir Chaddington gets to breed her.
>>24480507
Ah, the village Kekold!
Id fancy a roll in the hay with your woman!
>tfw forever a squire
>tfw chamberpots are full and I must away from thy sanctum
I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I HAD ENOUGH OF THESE GODDAMN TEUTON CHADS FUCKING MY SHIT UP.
>>24480573
Who's your knight Anon?
Knights can be pretty cool. I'm squiring Sir Alec of Greenbriar and it's been a blast. He's brought me to feasts and helped me speak with some fair maidens. On one evening he furrowed the fields of two buxom lasses! Perhaps one day too I shall be able to!
>>24480731
I'm a squire of Sir William of Farragut
He is a fair man though my wife does gaze upon him lustfully.
>tfw this is my 22nd winter and I still can't ride a steed with any prowess
>offer her to be my wife
>she denies the offer
>start to spread rumors about her
>tfw first born in royal family
>tfw unsuitable heir
>tfw wife has yet to bear any sons as of late
>>24480873
>that pic
Unironically triggered.
>>24480905
NORMANS GET OUT OF MY SKRYING POOL!!!!
>>24480955
>scrying pool
Thy sides haft gone on account of thy hearty chuckle
>tfw incompetent wizardly apprentice
>tfw still not clairvoyant enough to gaze under the robes of the village maidens
I am a dame and I made a post on Automaton 9001! Don't hit on me, silly peasants~
>>24479984
>peasant / servant to the Ui Neill
Based. I'd fight for them against the english monarch scum.
I am chaste, not willingly, and thusly I am a eunuch in such manner when it cometh to purity.
>>24481406
>Deus may or may not Vult
>tfw no Song of Frog and Feel by No G.F. Martin
unga bunga me cave too cold
>>24481845
m8 we're doing medieval, not stone age
>>24481947
No, he's in Sub-Saharan Africa in 1066 you see.
>>24480873
>refuse to be my wife
>claim she's a witch
roastie getting roasted
>>24482227
*2066
ftfy
fuck off robot, no-one wanted you
>Anno domini 1015
>Still being a wageserf
>not joining a monastery and living off friarbux
Have fun laboring on Lord Chadwell's farm and going home to your matronly spouse, wageserf
NORMANS GET OUT
>>24482707
I beseech you qt ;)
>>24482707
At that moment, a great cry erupted from the ranks of the Frogs and Feels
"Ree! Ree! Normans get out!"
And with a final charge, the Normans were routed
>tfw last king of /britfeel/ before the Norman invasion
>>24480606
JAGIELLON CHILL
>>24482908
IT'S A CRUSADE BRO, IT'S JUST A CRUSADE
LOOK, THERE'S A CHRONICLER RIGHT OVER THERE
>>24482991
SWEAR TO DEUS IF THIS JUNINGEN WONT SHUT THE HELL UP
>>24482767
>>24481338
>fair maidens scribing in this parchment scroll
SAXONY
A
X
O
N
Y
>>24484190
TEUTONS PLS GO
Why not just kill the king?
>mine inscription was not a revelatory manuscript
Curse the Golem, it has thwarted me once more.
>>24484443
Dare ye seek the king of the autists?
>thine melancholy musings when Saracens keep raiding the border domains
>thine melancholy musings when no demure Bretonnian wife
>thine melancholy musings when maidens will only ever marry you for your dowry
>thine melancholy musings when double-soldiers jest at my height
>thine melancholy musings when you can't live the comfy KNIGHT life
auxillarymen as fvck
>tfw forced to join the army or else the local baron will take my manure farm.
I have never even held a blade, any advice?
hark... greeting wageserfs, another day tilling the lands for your lords? Svre is wonderfvl living the NOBLE life
We approach the end of another fortnight wagepeasant
>>24484667
Enjoy your KNIGHTbux
>>24482882
I'm a time traveller from the year 2015. In my time, William is now Chad.
>>24484698
And you as well fellow landed gentry. Can't wait for mother to cook me some muttonies while I spend all day playing tarot.
>thine face when peasants would rather break their backs for lord Chadeus of Stacyham than go innasherwood and become bandits
>>24484679
'at we are m'lord
Will you be at the harvest festival? Mighty rude not 'a thank us cropserfs for your Knightbux at the end 'a crop season
>Hiding in hut, squatting over chamberpot
>Village summer festival outside
>Shit out the cabbage soup I ate for lunch and breakfast
>Throw out Normans reveling outside
>Reeee-eth
>>24484710
And he would have you pay regard to his consecutive matched figures.
>>24484852
>1244
>willingly enslaving ones'self to the wims of abrahamic opressors
I wish hebrews to leave.
>tfw threw stones at a roastie whore today for infidelity
>tfw we set her on a bonfire after
>>24484987
OUTTA MY WAY WITCH FUCKING SHITS
>tfw non-muslim kingdom surrounded by shitskin mudslimes
>>24481845
>>24481947
I'm laughing way too hard at this
I wish i was a crusader.
>>24485256
deus DEFINITELY vult
>>24485302
> tfw when no holy order of knights to crusade and be chaste with
>>24484852
thank ye sir for thou doth toil endlessly to satisfy the iraelites.
>tfw the town bard only plays shit popular music on his lute
Every single day it's the same shit, it's like he only knows 10 songs.
>>24479984
in honor of my fallen brethren
>thyne sentiment when thy board games art entertaining no more
What doth thyne golem brethren do in thy faceth of such a tragedy?
>tfw chad rostam slays the arch wizard white demon and u can only sit under a tree and watch
>>24484472
My hearty bellow doth wake my tavern wench mother
>>24484628
>tfw no fair maidens, only tavern wenches in thy tragic kingdom
>tfw no sword to slay beasts with
>tfw not good enough to fight in the kings army
>foreigners won't cease their toad-inscriptions upon thy tapestry
Alas
>tfw Phrankoifags copy all our memes and butcher them horribly
Why do we put up with these pretenders, /byz/?
>tfw winter solstice approaches and thyne crops wither like the visage of a foul wench
>tfw I drinketh the mead with much gluttony
Repent
>thine face when you were the first to remove kebab
>tfw filthy goat-herders walketh into thy tavern
>enforcer refuses to get off his sodding arse
>trusty claymore nowhere to be found
Infernal.
Some of you normans are alight... don't go to Hastings in 1066
>>24486566
the normans won that battle
lo, thvs beith a gore threade nao
>>24482291
Kek
This is an underrated post
>Mfw when I just finished raping the local warlord's wife while wearing his pickled testicles around my neck as a trophy.
>>24486717
kek
that faggot probably doesn't even play ck2
Ask a noble lady anything :)
>>24482991
this made me laugh a lot
>>24487444
Nice trips. I don't, but that doesn't excuse the fact that they were badly bloodied by the huscarls and could have lost if Harold hadn't died from an arrow.
>>24487529
Burn yourself you witch whore
>head down to the huntsmans shop
>qt 3.14 maiden is at the counter
>"umm, what doth thy offer for an average huntsman like me'self?"
>she hooks my up with some shitty low quality bow
>try to tell her I don't want it
>"har-ha-hark" I squeal faintly
>chunks of meat, paste if tomato and some stringy grain shit falls from my greaves unto the floor
>"lord above, are you alright?" she says
>look her in the eyes
>"th-thy as we-well"
>heave my earlier rations unto the now filthy wench
>that sentiment when Ser Chadwick of Newcastle upon Tyre and his gang of brutes burn me at the stake for heresy
>as I lay burning to death I look ser Chadwick in the eyes and a smug smile stretches across my face
>Chadwick will enter his barracks only to discover my faeces rotting in his cuirass and visor
>page uprising has begun
>>24481845
Holy fucking kek what
>>24487529
Wherefore dost thy whispering eye flappeth in the breeze?
How dost thou expecteth a husband when thou art in want of thy maidenhead?
>not even feel plate armor can protect from the feel of no maiden
>>24485142
>tfw non-muslim kingdom surrounded by shitskin mudslimes
Implying Armenians aren't shitskins just because they're Christfags.
Doth you hethens know that this parchmente of Turkish cave paintings beith most for only those Knights whoth reached their 18th year?
I shall report thee to the constable.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ye REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ye!!!!!
I DECLARE NORMAN BARBARIANS TURN TAIL AND KINDLY REMOVE THINE HANDS FROM THY QUILLS AND NEVER AGAINE LOOKETH AT MINE PARCHMENT!
You men shall consider residing with us monks of god in the monetary. We are devoted to thee glory of God's power and engage in numerous arts dedicated to he lord, and his son, and the holy spirit. We do not indulge in the vices of the common folk. Their ways is nothing but sin. Join us and become our apprentice. Leave the misery of peasant life and become a holy intellectual of god. I myself am working on The Book off Peperous Amphibious. Containing scripture of thee good news with the imagery of Amphibians according to our lord.
Infidels of the Holy Roman Empire! We had just took your precious Iberian Peninsula! All of your empire will soon be under Sharia Law and the flag of Muhammed shall fly in the city of Rome Inshallah! Allahu Ackbar!!!!
>tfw baker's apprentice
>tfw no maid wants a man who can bake and not hunt
Truly, these wenches are unquenchable.
>>24488578
armenians are barely-white tier dont you know that s-senpai
>tfw im still white but only barely
CHECKETH MINE DOPPELS, M'LORD
>IT IT OFFICIALLY REAL HEATHEN HOURS
CHRIST-SLAVES BEGONE
>>24489198
>Avast! Make haste towards Tumblrshire amongst thy heretics in arms.
>>24480873
This manuscript gave me the plague
>>24489198
nay
>>24488944
CHECKEDETHE
>>24486550
Proceed to thine nearest potion shoppe and ask the seller for his strongest potions.
NOW WATCHETH ME WHIP MYSELF
IN PIETY TO CHRIST
NAY, NAY
I SHALL BRAKETH MY LEGS
IN PIETY TO CHRIST
>1100 years hath transpired since the death and resurrection of our lorde
>thine interest continues to lie with wenches of the physical realm
verily, one is glad to have rid oneself of such harlots. my romantic pursuits shall henceforth remain strictly for those of fictional tapestries. i devote myself to thee, tsumugi!
>>24489359
verily,
thine be a true wizard
normans! go! begone! get yee to a church of thine own god! be gone from this temple of the arkane!
>>24489382
*/r9k/ane!
>>24489272
>Prince Donwald of Trumpshire will soon take the throne and erect a mighty barrier for the purpose of keeping thou confined to thy northerly huts
Heathens, Begone!
>>24489414
CANST STVMPETH THE TRVMP-ETH
>>24489359
RITSU
I
T
S
U
>>24489353
I HATH FORNICATED WITH THINE WENCH WHILST WEARING SANDALS OF ITALIAN CRAFT
CURSETH JACKIE OF 4CHANSHIRE for his witchcraft in making the word c h i v a l r y TRANSMUTE TO bushido and the word h o n o u r TRANSMUTE TO nakama and the word o l d e TRANSMUTE TO desu!
>>24489440
>devoting thyself to the lowliest wench
knave, tsvmvgi art plainly the maiden most pure
>>24489272
>this tapestry
My fellow countryman, I saluteth you.
>>24489455
HETHEN! NOW I AM YE OLDE OF KEK!
WHY ARE ALL WENCHES AFTER THAT BARBARIC LIP LOCK!
>>24489522
>tfw im armenian but nordic pagan
sorry
>tfw I'm probably gonna get kicked out of my home country soon, like my grandparents were
so I have to choose between being a traveling merchant or going to some North African hellhole. what should I do?
>>24489527
I HATH RELIEVED MYSELF OF FLUID AND VERILY I DID WITNESS MEAD SPOUTING FROM MINE PHALLUS
>>24489564
an martyr yourself
FUCKING NORMANS GET THEE THE FUCK OUT OF MINE AENGLAND
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>24489564
Fling thyself into the bread kiln, Hebrew.
>>24489601
>an martyr yourself
Verily, I laughed with much mirth
>>24485607
Thou must another trade discover
>Tapestries
>Leisure scholarly pursuits
>Creating thine own material to become a Jester in a fortnight
>Using thine tapestries, humor and other delecacies to BLOWETH THE FUCK OUT others
>The year of our lord 1100 A.D.
>>24489628
I don't have one anymore, a mob of "crusaders" on their way to "Jerusalem" (the local tavern) smashed it
>tfw clerk because too poor to be a knight
>tfw writing poems for village fair maiden
>one summer day I give her the poems after mass
>she glances at me in disgust, barley sheaves fall from my tunic
>later pass by the house of Renauld the squire and hear him and my maiden engaged in raucous lovemaking
One of these days we are going to rise against these faithless Norman invaders...
>>24487529
NORMANDY
O
R
M
A
N
D
Y
>>24489809
Then travel to Venice and wreak thine usury there, o cursed wellpoisoner.
*tips cheetah felt fedora*
Zaka Zaku, go back to your cave homo sapiens!
>that sentiment when Normans raid your hovel and steal your rare frog tapestries
>that sentiment when moors invade your holdings and the Normans welcome them
>TFW Chad Thunderbard woos the maiden thou hast been smitten with
>>24490055
>That sentiment when night walking through the village and someone dumps a full chamber pot on your head
>tfw i be a man of three and ten
>tfw i still have not yet found a stout hearty fat wife who can work the fields and give me many sons
>all of the maids in mine hamlet be skinny, dainty girls unsuited for work or childbirth
Wherefore
>walking through market
>spy fine maiden
>attempt to court here
>she turns around
>tisnotamaiden.tapestry
>a brigand stands before me, dressed as the weaker sex in an attempt to lure in victims to rob
>"hand over your coin, fool, or I shalt spill thine entrails upon yon ground."
>potage falls from coin pouch
>mine visage when this occurs
>>24490143
>Desiring wenches to be corpulent before you provide for them
>Desiring wenches who will be spoiled like Her Highness the Princess
I cannot understand such flights of fancy
>My mother and father wanted their firstborn son to become a noble knight
>That feel when I am still a squire
>My father never took me to the become a man with a woman of the night because we have no money
>Sir Chad rescued all the maidens and has slain all of the dragons in this realm
>A maiden would just laugh at a squire anyways
Why doesn't thou become a monk?
>free from the temptations of money and wenches
>get a wondrous monastery to live in, thou doesn't even need to leave it
>surrounded by the tapestries of knowledge, past and present
>villainous knights shan't bother you, lest they be damned for eternity
>all thou has to do is be charitable to wanderers and copy manuscripts once in a while
Thou art eternally tormented by the vices of village life. When will you join your true brothers in the monasteries?
>TFW a dwarf of but two paces
>>24490284
>monastery is pillaged by rapacious pagans
>heathens know not the written word and burn all sacred manuscripts
>cleave senior monk's head in twain
>abscond with eucharistic chalice and depart by sea
Truly they are the Moors of the Snow.
>be middle aged
>14 year old virgin
>notice young wench down milking the goats
>need to make her my wife
>ask her if she would like to full wool with me
>she says "nigh"
>walk to local inquisitioner
>tell him I saw her speaking in tongues and drawing symbols in the dirt
>the village smells like burnt flesh for the next week.
>>24490451
W I C K E D
I
C
K
E
D
>thine feeling when a sordid wench comes develops an affection for your manhood despite you being a squire who has never once mounted a mare
Salaam, you guys figured out how to bathe yet?
>>24490451
B E E L Z E B U B I S H
>>24490514
The Moorish Sentiments twine lies over yonder.
>>24490451
B L A S P H E M O U S
>>24489471
THY GLORIOUS JACKIE!!! THY GlORIOUS 4CHANSHIRE!!
MASTER OF TRASMUTATION!! MASTER OF ALCHEMY!!
A weird squinting eyed traveler from the east showed me drawings of young girls is it strange that I found them rather attractive
>>24490633
No, the people of all kingdoms acknowledge the art of the orient as superior. It is well-known the orientals also produce superior board-games.
At towne merriment gathering
>Why are all these wenches dressed so scandalously
>Do these peasants even train their musculature
>Everybody here needs the teaching of our lorde and saviour Jesus Christ
>Doesn't that bard know current minstrels? I heard these tales many moons ago
>My feet are giving me pain
>I want to retire to my welling and read Oriental folded scrolls
>he's a slave to his lord
Thine lord makes the best with two backs with your beloved!
Better get some sleep for your big harvest tomorrow, lord's-slave! The sands in the hourglass are sifting away!
I'll be here in my hermitage reading the scrolls of the classic philosophers.
>this whole scripture
My bellow doth echo through the lowlands of thyne mighty kingdom
>>24490734
>the best with two backs
*beast
Seems I was too distracted by my harem to notice my spelling mistake, lord's-slave!
Sift-sift, go the sands in your hourglass!
>thyne melancholy sentiment when thy am but a cellar-dwelling fool with many more winters than tales to tell
Alas
I grow weary of this plane
Alas, mine betrothed hath taken to a moor!
>>24490734
>>24490759
Thine mother lies with Norsemen, wastrel, and thou art far too timid to stop her. Thou shalt never take a wife and spawn progeny, and Prince Chadwick mocks thee to his wenches.
Never cease to remember, idle one, thine father may cast thee out at ANY time!
>>24490782
These sentiments, I know them well fellow man.
>>24489272
REAL HEATHEN HOURS
BEHEAD THE POPE
I think this war is all just a ploy by those damnable Greeks, I'm staying home.
>>24489272
hahahaha
who tf up?? pillage dat MF like button
wooooo
>>24480271
>tfw no opium-addicted sex slave
>>24479984
>that feel when thy parents threaten to throw thee to the street in a fortnight
Fucking Celtfags are ruining this board.
>>24489414
haha just you wait
Bernald of Flanders shall confiscate thy estate and distribute it to the masses!
>locked into servitude under the Winimum Mage
>>24480271
Pray tell squire, what manner of dyes did you use to accomplish such a lifelike tapestry? Thine artistry would be the envy of countless artists, yet, why does thine subject matter always consist of the sexual act?
>>24491477
Long Live King Bernie!
May he smite every wagelord in the kingdom!!
>>24487529
>that painting
Alas! Now I must flee to the abbey and beg our Lord for forgiveness!
>A whole legion of beta kekolds literally throw thineselves into war over one Stacey despite such weak footgame.
Such is borderline to heresy of the human mind itself.
>>24491750
>that portrait
Dost thou know it's source?
Thine form is that of a man possessing qualities of heightened body and equally impressive mass.
>>24491477
>Bernald
>thou impliest he is not a Hebrew sodomite
>thou impliest he doth not desire his wife to copulate with Moors
>thou impliest non-sodomite alabaster peasants shall receive a farthing from his efforts
Donwald shall make thine kingdom glorious once more.
>>24491846
TO BEQUEATH UPON THINESELF
If you read what I have writ here, I have no
>quarrel
with thee. Beware the folftice dance.
The Town Cryer will fay "The End is Nigh," on the morrow.
Farewell, brothers.
>>24479984
Who /witchcraft/ here?
>stamping on crosses
>summoning demons
>kissing the devil on his buttcheek or anus to become a witchNo, I'm not even joking, look up "kiss of shame," it's fukt
>orgies
>naked women everywhere
The animal sacrifices and baby-eating is something I'm not into, but to each their own.
Gonna be a full witch soon, 30 silver a year starting salary.
>>24489353
Alas, wagesurfs the time of your work is soon. I shall remain slumbering with the priesthood whilst you tend to the fields
>>24479984
Thine scholar who art scribed shall be considered a sodomite
>>24490143
>three and ten
He if but a fquire; put him in ftockf.
>>24491846
you aren't permitted for accompanying vassals...
>>24492029
They are not mine companions
>>24492059
why should I desire to have them?
>>24492066
>>24492066
The very same men were attempting to racketeer the object of thine desire. These knaves have been recognized as travelling in the very same company as the infamous helmeted outlaw.
>>24492154
BAEN?
REEEEEEEE!!!!! fucking muslims and jews get off my peninsula!!!!!!
>>24492177
Send for a parchment decree to the commissar, I'll summon it fourth
>>24492220
YONDER MANUSCRIPT I HATH ARCHIVED WITH THE CONSTABLE NUMBERS MYSELF, MY MEN, APOTHECARY PAUL HITHER, BUT MERELY A SINGLE MAN OF THINE BAND
>>24492315
HENCEFORTH... THE FIRST MAN TO SPEAK OF THESE BLASPHEMOUS EXCHANGES - IS PERMITTED TO REMAIN ON MY CARRIAGE!
>>24492348
UNTIGHTEN THINE TONGUE ON BAEN, FOR WHAT PURPOSE DOTH HE WEAR THE FACEPLATE?
>>24492393
HE DID FLY QUITE UNGRACEFULLY
WHO AMONG YOU WISHES TO ATTEMPT NOW?
>>24492414
Or perhaps he's questioning why you insist upon half-swording a knight before tossing him from a chariot...
>>24491995
It is written.
Toil until thyne back doth hurt
>>24492503
By the Gods, tis most favorable that amongst you, there be one gifted with the possibility for speech to escape thine lips.
your in rus and this guy rapes your gf
what do?
>>24479984
OOGA BOOGA
HUPLA MALU KURWA
Greetings my dear automatons,
'tis with great sadness with which I proffer my greetings unto thee. In but a few hours' time I must be fully ready for a-testing of my academic prowess. Verily, I should prepare my mind lest I face defeat yet I struggle to raise my pen or trail my eyes to weathered parchment.
O! 'tis a woeful day. O! shalt any of thee commiserate? O! I hearken ye for thy support and doth request a gifting of encouragements unto me.
O! my automatons, 'tis truly a tragedy of the first-degree that our government hath lent me thirty-times-one-thousand dollars and all - all! - for naught.
>>24492983
>>24492983
throw dust on his balls
i will ride to denmark and get myself the danish girl who used to send pigeons with runes i cant read to my yurt
i may or may not burn down everything on my way there
HEAR YE! HEAR YE!
THE BLACK DEATH IS A FALSEHOOD
ITS THE JEWS, I TELL YOU! THE JEWS!
>that sentiment when thy worketh earnestly yet thine liege is disgruntled and might oust thou
I am truely crestfallen
>>24493398
>thy
thou*
>thou
Thee*
Thou must excuse my grammar
/r9k/friends, I come to you with a quandary
My daughter is currently being wooed my a Saracen primitive. Of course, I would take up arms to defend her virtue, but I live in Albion, and crossbows are prohibited by my liege-lord.
What action dost thou recommend?
Wagealot awaken and go slay the work dragon so that the rest of the town can sleep safely and comfyeth
whoa, it appeares ive been transported to the past in some temporal time vortex. i shall scan the area for lifeforms
>>24489272
i have fixed it for thee
Disregard maidens, acquire scripture.
>>24493574
i will wager the hebrews are at fault for this. toss one down a well and see if that fixes it.
>you pick weeds, the gallant man sows his seed
>not being a Cathar
Thou catholic keks needn't to reply
>>24493998
>thou sittest alone drinking mead
>Chaddus rides her like a steed
>>24482689
Lmao. Most underrated post in thread desu
>tfw no /r9k/ lads to rape and pillage with
>tfw medieval tranny
>father threw out my inheritance
>church choir doesn't want to cut my balls off because I'm too old and don't sing well
>asked the alchemist to concoct me an elixir to make me a woman, I think it was just poison ivy tea because it almost killed me
>the tailor refuses to take my measurements and sew me a dress
>too beta to steal a horse and look for a wizard
I don't want to be burned at the stake senpai
>>24479984
>Let the normies eat cake.
>>24480271
>tfw no cheekboney asian whore gf
why live?
